The NannyMUD Times issue 2000 May.

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  (1) - Index
          Hey, you're reading it.
  (2) - Introduction
          A tiny, meaningless presentation.
  (3) - Announcements
          Announcements from past months gone by.
  (4) - Marriages
          Yep, who got married and when.
  (5) - Player Question
          Who would like to smooch who? Find out what your pal answered!
  (6) - Dish of the Month
          By Thaadd the Apprentice Chef.
  (7) - Top 10
          This month's Top 10 is all about them nasty lepers.
  ( - The Grammar Column
          Grammar's a problem to you? Narya's here to help you.
  (9) - Gurk's Partylog
          Gurk's done it again. Here's his log of the Anniversary Party.
 (10) - Interview
 
          Lourdes and Leclerk team up on the Editor.
 (11) - Special Pull-out Nanny Zodiac Section
          We bring you the one and only Nanny guide to the stars.
 (12) - Horoscopes
          Find out what is in store for you the coming month.
 (13) - Pub Review
          Reznor takes a look at one of NannyMUD's older establishments.
 (14) - PKlog
          A bad month for the Dark guild.
 (15) - Classified Ads
          If you're looking for a new buddy, you've come to the right place.
 (16) - The World Outside
          This month we take a look at the world of criminals.
 (17) - Quiz
          Test your Nanny-knowledge. By courtesy of Hrodlauf.
 (18) - Puzzles
          Figure them out and we'll reward you. Maybe.
 (19) - Editor's Comments
          Hmm.




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        First of all, welcome to the return issue of The NannyMUD Times. Lots
        of things have happened since the paper last came out: New areas have
        opened, new quests have popped up, Nannypoints have been implemented,
        new admin have been recruited, people have come and gone--but most
        importantly, of course, The NannyMUD Times has been missing for longer
        than most people can remember. That is, however, about to change,
        because what you are reading right now is the long-awaited new issue
        of your local newspaper, The NannyMUD Times. Yep, we're back on the
        street and it's time to celebrate! "Why?", you ask? Because we're not
        just the only but also the best newspaper on Nanny, and we've been

        gone for far too long.

        Before I move on to telling you all about what interesting things you
        can read about, I would like to hand out a big Thank you to the people
        who has made it possible to open The NannyMUD Times again:

        Narya, Lectral, Martinique, Oak, and Thaadd. Thanks a bunch. Without
        these people, known as The NannyMUD Times staff, you wouldn't be
        reading this.
 
        So now that the praising is over, let's move on to some less serious
        stuff. My guess is that you would like to know what fun-packed
        articles you can find in this issue of The NannyMUD Times. Well, first
        off, we have a lot of regular features which you will see again in
        coming issues. Among these are our guide to the stars -- read your
        horoscope and see what the future has in store for you. Lectral is
        keeping the tradition of the player question alive. There's also a pub
        review, a pk-log, readers' classified ads, a quiz, a ton of great
        puzzles (with cash prizes!), and much, much more.

        As for special features, we have an interview with Lourdes and
        Leclerk, not to forget a complete Nanny Zodiac table, Gurk's log from
        The Nannymud Anniversary Party, plus a couple of other, hopefully, fun
        things.

        So, for all you old as well as new readers, we hope you like this
        return issue of the Times. Enjoy!


                                                       //Dunstan

 

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        For those of you having no clue on where to find the board 'Announce',
        we bring you a small summary of what has happened since we stepped
        into the new millenium.

        (Any announcements from before January 1, 2000 have been left out.
        Most of them are out of date, so it would serve no point in bringing
        them here (On a sidenote: The Editor is too lazy to start looking for
        old news). If you have an area, quest, or club that opened, or a
        character that was banished between the summer 1999 and January 1,
        2000, we apologize for not bringing the announcement here)


        Brom started off on January 1st by welcoming everyone to the new
        millenium.

        Hrodlauf, Dunstan, Spiral, Kvarnen, Danny, and Balin all had an
        area open or reopen the last few months.

        Aita closed his area.
 
       
        Two quests opened. Bixby's "Report to the Chancellor" and Dunstan's
        "Find the missing marbles".

        The honourable high wizard Thargor retired from his position.
       
        As for guilds. Taren chose to feature freeze the Simyarin guild. In
        other words, no other schools nor spells will be added to the guild
        in the future. The Hunters Guild was closed for new members.

        During the last 4 months a couple of people have been banished.
        Michi & Vanatoarea and Scary & Luluna for multiplaying. Nofx for
        being a little less than polite towards Admin. Darkmind and Palio
        for using a client to stay on the game after idling out. Actin and
        Jefferson for harrasment. Fundgy for vandalism, and Kiss was demoted
        3 months for killing a mortal, then returned to break the rules again
        and got banished.

        Swift justice from Beldin. Jadsea and Swift zapped for excessively
        rude shouts.



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        The following people were married since the Summer '99 issue:


        Elaine was married to Firebrand by Leowon Mon Jul  5 22:34:29 1999
        Albeit was married to Chicka by Toth Sun Jul 25 03:03:58 1999
        Khadgar was married to Sunflower by Papyron Fri Jul 30 01:14:11 1999
        Brujah was married to Weronoop by Beldin Fri Jul 30 01:22:43 1999
        Chakaal was married to Peredur by Tirips Mon Aug  2 20:34:56 1999
        Zelena was married to Halpo by Dannoc Fri Aug 13 13:17:44 1999
        Modano was married to Franchesca by Modano Fri Aug 27 05:28:17 1999
        Ryan was married to Aphrodi by Lordan Sat Sep  4 02:22:23 1999
        Sparkles was married to Deimos by Mats Mon Sep  6 18:54:35 1999
        Mistress was married to Eolair by Erani Thu Sep  9 16:51:04 1999
        Scratchy was married to Kath by Tobin Sat Sep 11 17:30:16 1999
        Rascal was married to Ladydeathe by Rascal Sun Sep 12 03:37:30 1999
        Alessandro was married to Celtic by Khorgenouk Mon Sep 13 13:57:42 1999
        Hamlet was married to Ophelia by Argent Tue Sep 14 23:35:48 1999
        Sassy was married to Insomnia by Insomnia Wed Sep 22 00:13:14 1999
        Firefist was married to Gird by Fundgy Thu Sep 23 00:55:26 1999
 
        Boston was married to Adevaratu by Asterix Wed Oct  6 17:06:38 1999
        Willett was married to Ellie by Keldo Tue Oct 12 23:49:29 1999
        Odhin was married to Kassandra by Khadgar Sun Oct 17 17:17:07 1999
        Charlatan was married to Nomeansno by Nomeansno Wed Oct 20 12:11:30 1999
        Sodom was married to Serene by Exxelsior Wed Oct 27 23:11:35 1999
        Moartea was married to December by Vulcan Thu Oct 28 04:50:02 1999
        Viken was married to Storm by Tirian Sun Oct 31 02:13:41 1999
        Kalyani was married to Keeli by Desole Tue Nov  2 16:55:17 1999
        Martinique was married to Wolfenhex by Zyraxes Tue Nov  9 11:54:09 1999
        Whistler was married to Lan by Dagoth Mon Nov 15 04:27:47 1999
        Bastet was married to Dantildan by Dantildan Sat Nov 20 03:28:02 1999
        Coma was married to Fantom by Fantom Wed Nov 24 18:51:41 1999

        Hebe was married to Bowen by Andra Mon Nov 29 22:15:37 1999
        Necman was married to Deviltrey by Necman Tue Nov 30 00:10:00 1999
        Winnowill was married to Hereron by Winnowill Tue Nov 30 00:18:42 1999
        Talia was married to Kfur by Talia Mon Dec  6 02:54:55 1999
        Brad was married to Helena by Hrodlauf Mon Dec  6 18:53:03 1999
        Speerhawk was married to Ghanima by Zyraxes Thu Dec 16 17:42:40 1999
        Isabeaux was married to Stark by Oak Tue Dec 28 04:28:25 1999
        Archaon was married to Joya by Mihaiu Tue Dec 28 10:25:29 1999
        Koria was married to Taragon by Mazrim Mon Jan  3 13:29:18 2000
        Isabel was married to Maverick by Maverick Wed Jan  5 03:25:56 2000
    Memnock was married to Qwer by Mindeye Thu Jan  6 01:12:30 2000
        Crud was married to Gnuc by Gnuc Fri Jan  7 22:47:44 2000
        Leojr was married to Leojrjr by Leowon Sat Jan  8 23:30:49 2000
        Arial was married to Vampeiro by Tobin Fri Jan 14 03:21:17 2000
        Mystx was married to Aidara by Mihaiu Fri Jan 14 19:07:23 2000
        Lillstrumpa was married to Xzena by Mistress Sat Jan 15 16:33:02 2000
        Lonewolfjr was married to Oakii by Lonewolf Fri Jan 21 20:56:58 2000
        Bofur was married to Caress by Taragon Tue Jan 25 21:36:14 2000
        Sparks was married to Wanessa by Kati Tue Feb  8 19:24:09 2000
        Charisma was married to Dwinbar by Dwinbar Tue Feb  8 22:29:45 2000
        Alainysi was married to Alainysi by Alainysi Wed Feb  9 01:03:10 2000
        Mamaee was married to Tataee by Cost Thu Feb 10 12:45:58 2000
        Poledra was married to Belgarath by Meep Sat Feb 12 00:04:28 2000
        Chupo was married to Methtical by Avis Tue Feb 15 06:15:29 2000
        Papyron was married to Pill by Papyron Wed Feb 23 22:14:30 2000
        Azzer was married to Gangrene by Ezekiel Sat Feb 26 00:35:54 2000
        Sedric was married to Tsythia by Funnyman Sun Feb 27 22:11:56 2000
        Ravenlady was married to Locke by Cage Wed Mar  1 17:21:45 2000
        Foxy was married to Gilthoniel by Gilthoniel Tue Mar  7 20:15:12 2000
        Olav was married to Naryaii by Narya Wed Mar  8 23:07:45 2000
        Burgo was married to Carantina by Preoteasa Sun Mar 12 19:16:40 2000
        Enkil was married to Aroree by Funnyman Tue Mar 21 00:15:15 2000
 
        Jealousy was married to Grim by Grim Tue Mar 21 15:21:43 2000
        Phoenix was married to Dirac by Phoenix Sat Mar 25 03:51:02 2000
        Lily was married to Grimloke by Grimloke Sun Apr  2 07:41:49 2000
        Moon was married to Nightsoul by Clumsy Sun Apr  2 09:57:05 2000
        Sirilion was married to Maggie by Clumsy Sun Apr  2 10:01:38 2000
        Roller was married to Chribba by Mami Sun Apr  2 13:54:25 2000
        Malfeithor was married to Moghedien by Arx Thu Apr  6 15:27:37 2000
        Snowstar was married to Leowon by Leowon Thu Apr  6 15:47:14 2000
        Blackthorn was married to Retro by Blackthorn Sat Apr 22 14:10:39 2000
        Mortis was married to Strangelove by Mortis Sun Apr 23 02:15:25 2000
        Michel was married to Linda by Michel Mon Apr 24 13:58:38 2000
        Kharn was married to Maggs by Mortis Tue Apr 25 01:43:36 2000
        Amis was married to Yaleah by Yaleah Wed Apr 26 21:18:47 2000
        Jakale was married to Drucilla by Martinique Fri Apr 28 08:53:14 2000

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Lectral tells you: Hi! I'm doing a poll for the NannyMUD Times. If you could
        have gone to the Nannyversary party and everyone from the mud was
        there, whom would you have given a great big smooch--and why?
Lectral shouts: People who actually were there can answer, too.


Damnation tells you: you usually have no say tho
Sparkles tells you: you serious? hehe
Ameno tells you: Nothel
Moonchild tells you: Well, Narya of course--because she'd have cut my balls off
          if I hadn't.
Rupture tells you: Whatever girl there was the cutest, of course. And one for
        Brom because he's just so damn nice!
Mortis tells you: you ofc
Error tells you: Terror! My idol.

Ameno tells you: because he is my boyfriend
[-Druids-] Shona tells you: yah sure I woulda gone...dunno bout the smooching
           though
[Khorne] Altus tells you: haven't been there:)
 Capone replies to you: Brom, he's so darn sweet =)
[Simyarin] Perfect tells you: hmm....let me think about and ill get back ?
[Explorers] Chaos tells you: memnock
[Simyarin] Yours tells you: hmm
Nyoni tells you: Gwendolyn
[Simyarin] Yours tells you: let me think
[-Druids-] Landril tells you: i dont know what your talking about
Fallout tells you: Maggie.......she is my mud-wife
Darkclaws replies to you: to danny
Moonchild tells you: (And you better not print that.)
Aishiteru tells you: no one, i dont kiss computer geeks
[Khorne] Altus tells you: an dont know who was
Yaleah tells you: It would have to be Titleist, not only because that's the
       logical answer for me, but I'd love to see him blush.
[Monks] Kelli: out of the people that were there, you mean?
Vancouver tells you: tie between Banshee & Taren. They code good guild
Ameno tells you: an hes not home... but I think he would say the same..
Argent tells you: Sorry- I'm far too insecure to go around smooching people
       uninvited. ,)
[-Druids-] Xcalibur tells you: hmmmmm hmmm lets see....maybe I would give'n it
           to koala
[Explorers] Chaos tells you: but I doubt he would have come since he's rumanian
 
Dantildan tells you: bastet
[Khorne] Altus tells you: ah
[Simyarin] Yours tells you: still no idea
[Simyarin] Yours tells you: hmm
[Monks] Kelli: ah, nevermind.. read it wrong
[Simyarin] Yours tells you: maybe to tiana
Ameno tells you: and we went to the mudparty, both of us and yes we kissed like
      always
[-Druids-] Vancouver: ok all stats are 2 now
[-Druids-] Mega tells you: lectral what's a great big smooch?
[Simyarin] Yours tells you: but nah
Xcalibur tells you:  hmmmmm hmmm lets see....maybe I would give'n it to koala
Beleriand tells you: I was there but I didn't smooch anyone. :/
[Simyarin] Yours tells you: she is an american
[Simyarin] Yours tells you: bah...
[-Druids-] Shona: woo hoo!
Dwinbar tells you: I don't want to choose just one!
[Simyarin] Yours tells you: i dont know
[Monks] Mortis: you know your answer is "Mortis" Kelli, so why question it ?
You told Dwinbar: You can pick as many as you like since you're level 30.
[Simyarin] Yours tells you: i would like it to kiss banshee but u know
           she will be angry etc...so...hehehe
 
[-Druids-] Balin tells you: I don't know about smooch, hand-shake maybe, but
           Barbarella for being such a great sponsor.
[Khorne] Yehon tells you: Good question I think Mats for making it all
         possible
[Monks] Kelli triumphantly beeps Mortis on the nose.
Dwinbar tells you: Then I choose all of them!
[-Druids-] Balin tells you: And Banshee for being such a great guild head.
[Simyarin] Narya tells you: Well, had you been there, Lectral, I'd've given you
           a great big smooch, as you're my mud-husband. Since you weren't,
           I'd've probably given Beleriand a great big smooch, since he's my
           big Swedish buddy. (Of course, Moonchild always deserves a smooch,
           but that's different.)
[Monks] Kelli: is this confidential or names would be shown?
You can hear Belegur laughing hysterically at you.
[Khorne] Rammstein tells you: I don't know. I'd probably just stand there and
         recieve. (So, bestrafe mich!)
Belegur tells you: did you go to the party?
[-Druids-] Balin tells you: (Druids guild htat is...)
Dantildan tells you: ...because I love her.
[Monks] Drahe meet mortis in RL.
You told Belegur: No, man, now answer the question.
Syrus replies to you: hmm, what is a smooch?
 
[Monks] Aishiteru comforts Drahe.
[Monks] Mortis: and I'm still darn cute.... right!
Kelli tells you: Enigma! =p obvious reasons, he's mine and he's cute!
Belegur tells you: before I answer the question, I would like to know everyone
        that attended, and what they were wearing.
Adso tells you: tiana? cause she's soo smoochy or something
Amis tells you: Mugwort cos of his/her lovely shaved head
Belegur grins evilly at you from another part of the world.
Beleriand tells you: Nothel, he's cute. He also let me sleep in his apartment
          during the dinner.
Leclerk tells you: Oh, I would have given a great big smooch to Silencer!
Khorn tells you: It would have to be Talia, just because she is a cute little
      princess One person to avoid would have to be Perfect he's after
      anything
Syrus replies to you: what do you mean by smooch?
Meep tells you: Well I smooched a lot of people there. And Dwinbar smooched
     me constantly. Hmm. But he did that to everyone so I guess that's ok. I
     would've smooched my MUD-wife if she'd been there. And Lectral of course!
Syrus replies to you: I don't know what that word means, If you tell me I will
      answer your poll
You told Syrus: It means 'a wet kiss'.
Syrus replies to you: aha, let me think a sec...
 
Syrus replies to you: hmm, to Leowon, for creating the vampires guild
[Simyarin] Invisible tells you: I would ahve wanted to kiss Brujah.  Mostly so
           I can pull of the infamous double switch, and let my fantasy come
           true. *wink*
Perfect tells you: Ok:We all know youre using smooch as a synonym for screw.Who
        you ask ?.Well prolly the person halfdrunk waking up in bed with me the
        nextday...which in my case would prolly be me since noone here really
        likes me.


    There you go...


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                        Chef's Guild Recipe of the Month


        Stuffed Crepes:

        For the batter
        -1 egg
        -3 deciliters (1 1/4 cups) milk
        -2.4 deciliters (1 cup) flour
        -large pinch salt
        -(optional) minced chives, or spring onion greens.

        Using a hand mixer, electric mixer or a fork possessed by Khorne, beat
        all ingredients until smooth. Heat a pan (cast iron if you have one)
        and put a teaspoon of butter to melt. It should cover the surface
        evenly, but not too much. (tip the pan over a sink, any extra will run
        off) You want to put the first crepe on only when the pan is hot.
        I normally put a test drop, and when it starts to sizzle, I start. Put
        one deciliter (about 1/3 cup) of batter in the center of the pan, and
 
        tilt it around so it hits all the edges. Let it cook until the edges
        start to 'dry' or loose that wet look. Use a flipper to peek under,
        and flip when it's light brown. You don't need to add more butter if
        you keep the pan hot. Stack them on a plate as they get done.

        NOTE: The first crepe always is a screwup. Don't worry. Practice
        makes perfect.

        TO STUFF A CREPE:
        Take a cooled crepe, and put it on a plate. Lay a line of fillings
        down the center, and roll it up. Depending on how big your crepe is,
        you should add more or less filling. I add about a deciliter. Put the
        rolled crepe loose flap downwards on a oven safe pan (I use a pie
        form). Repeat until you run out of crepes. Bake at 200 Cels, or about
        400 Far for about 10 minutes. Serve hot.

        FILLINGS:
        Current favorite filling:
        Thin sliced zucchini fried in butter, garlic, spring onion, and salt
        and pepper.
        Fried mushrooms with pepper.
        Cooked rice.
 

        Other good fillings could be:
        Leftover cooked meat like chicken or beef.
        Mashed potatoes.
        Cheese.
        Your favorite vegetable.
        Marinated tofu.
        Mushroom sauce and rice.

        Style tips: Put chopped spring onions across the tops of the crepes
        before they're baked. Chopped red peppers, or a thin drizzle of
        mushroom sauce is also nice. You should serve these from the baking
        dish, so if you use a pretty dish, it makes them much more nice
        looking.

        Leftovers microwave very nicely, and are good for lunch!

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        Are you one of those people that has a problem with mudding affecting
        your real life?  Well, here are 10 signs you have been playing the
        leper guild too much.


         1. You steal your granddad's prosthesis and start whacking
            people in the groin with that fake arm.  Fooooore!

         2. You start wailing like a madman when you get caught on
            the bus without a valid ticket.

         3. Every morning when you wake up and step out of bed you
            pull your arm persistently to see if it will come off.

         4. At breakfast you apply pieces of bacon to the arm you
            just tried to pull off.

         5. Before going to work you wrap yourself up in toilet paper.

 
         6. You visit the local hospital regularly to get a blood
            transfusion, even though your blood level is perfectly
            normal.

         7. When you have to cough you sneak up to a co-worker to
            hit them with as many germs as possible.

         8. You play dead more convincingly than your dog.

         9. You keep poking people you don't like with your finger.

        10. When walking around in public you stop every minute to
            release your stench.



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                            The grammar column!

       
       This month's question on grammar has to do with "which" and "that":

       "Okay, what I really want to know is the difference between which and
       that! I think I tend to use which, but Microsoft Word, which we all
       know is a quality program, always insists that is correct, instead of
       which.  My problem is that I'm just not sure I trust Microsoft's ideas
       about grammar. Please help me!"
       ----------------------------------------------------------------------

       OK, the difference here between "which" and "that" involves
       restrictive and non-restrictive relative clauses. So what's a relative

       clause? It's a phrase that describes a noun:

           1) They sold the land _that lay north of the farm_.
           2) The computer _that I sent to Sweden_ was seized.

        In 1), "that lay north of the farm" describes "land." In 2), "that I
       sent to Sweden" describes "computer"--but note that "was seized"
       doesn't describe the computer, it's just the verb phrase in the
       sentence. (I could, for instance, simplify 2) to "The computer was
       seized," and you can see easily that "was seized" is just the verb
       phrase.)

       Most people recognize relative clauses easily enough. These clauses
       are the source of the which/that confusion, for they usually start
       with "which", "that," and "who" or "whom." But when do you use "which"
       and when do you use "that" in these clauses?

       Well, now we come back to the restrictive and non-restrictive part.
       Basically, a restrictive clause limits the meaning of the noun phrase
       and of the sentence as a whole. A non-restrictive clause doesn't and
       is incidental to the meaning of the sentence. So, look at:

           3) Streams _that flow down from that mountaintop_ are very cold.

       If I take out "that flow down from that mountaintop," the sentence
       becomes:

 
           3') Streams are very cold.

       This doesn't make much sense. Streams? Which streams? Where? The
       phrase "that flow down from the mountaintop" was necessary to the
       meaning of 3), and so it's restrictive.

       By contrast, look at:

           4) My car, _which is green_, needs new oil.

       I can take out "which is green" and it does almost nothing to the
       sentence:

           4') My car needs new oil.

       The information that my car is green says little or nothing about the
       fact that it needs oil, which is the main point of the sentence. The
       clause is therefore non-restrictive. (Another point you might notice
       is that I can set off a non-restrictive clause with commas. I couldn't
       do that with "that flow down from that mountaintop" in 3).)

       So, here's the deal: restrictive clauses can take _either_ "which" or
 
       "that," but non-restrictive clauses can only use "which." Yes, that's
       right: wherever "that" can be used in such a clause, you could also
       use "which." (Remember that the opposite is not true!) So I could
       have written 3) as

           3'') Streams which flow down from that mountaintop are very cold.

       Or I could have written 1), which also has a restrictive relative
       clause, as:

           1') They sold the land which lay north of the farm.

       Both are correct. But I can't write 4) this way:

           4'') My car that is green needs new oil.

       This sounds weird because it implies that the car's color has
       something to do with its automotive health. This is beause "that"
       appears only in restrictive clauses. Non-restrictive clauses can't
       take "that," and so it's incorrect to use "that" in 4).

       There are two points I should make, though:
 

       I) A lot of people will get on your case if you use "which" in
       restrictive relative clauses. This "rule" is apparently not very old,
       historically speaking, but a lot of people take it seriously. Like
       Microsoft Word, these people will scribble angrily all over your
       sentences.

       I always consider it a stylistic point: "That" carries more emphasis
       to me and emphasizes the clause in the sentence. I therefore usually
       use "that" in restrictive relative clauses, but sometimes I leave it
       as "which," especially in papers where I've used "that" a lot
       recently. I personally find the sharper distinction between
       restrictive and non-restrictive clauses useful, and it's a good marker
       of formal style. It sounds stuffy, however, in informal speech.


       II) It also has to be said that the distinction between restrictive
       and non-restrictive clauses is often not very sharp. Since the
       restrictive/non-restrictive distinction relies on meaning, whether a
       clause is restrictive or not often depends on what I'm emphasizing and
       what I've said up to that point.

       Take 2):
 
           2) The computer that I sent to Sweden was seized.

       If this is the only thing I've said about the computer, it's true that
       the sentence wouldn't make much sense if I took out "that I sent to
       Sweden":

           2') The computer was seized.

       The clause would definitely be restrictive in that case because it
       adds important information about this otherwise-anonymous computer.
       But had I been babbling on about this computer and the specific brands
       I favor and my shipping business and how I mail computers to all
       countries of the world, the information that the computer was sent to
       Sweden in particular might be incidental. In that case, I could
       probably easily have said:

           2'') The computer, which I sent to Sweden, was seized.

       It's all dependent on context, and you really have to look at the
       sentence in context: do you need this clause to make sense of the
       sentence? If so, you should consider using "that," although you can
 
       also use "which." If it's not, if you can take out the clause without
       doing any serious harm to the sentence, you cannot use "that."

       So, while Microsoft Word is wrong to insist that you use "that" in all
       cases, you might want to use "that" sometimes, at least in restrictive
       clauses that are definitely necessary to the meaning of the sentence.

       --

       Got a grammar question? Send mud-mail to Narya!

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 9    ---



        April 15. Sweden. Linköping. Americans. Swedes. Englishmen. Marsians.
        They were all there. They were all celebrating NannyMUD's 10 year
        Anniversary. And, they were all relying on one man to do the toughest
        job of them all. Gurk. Log report. Here it is.
       


            -------------------------------------------------------
            Startlog:      NannyMUD 10 years celebration 2000.15.04
            Timestamp:     Random, generic values
            Intox lvl:     High or higher
            Author:        Gurk && Henchmen
            -------------------------------------------------------


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        17:50   Exxelsior's room
                Legs hurt due to Laserdome. Will soon open the bottle
                of white wine. People around me are disrespecting me.
 
       
                I see Mishra, Dwinbar, Meep and Exxelsior.             

        Notes:  Nothing wrong with a good wine!
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        17:53   Exxelsior's bed
                The crowd has a loud discussion where we happily come
                to the conclusion that we are very stable.
       
        Notes:  We sound like Dr. Alban (swedish pop artist).
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        17:54   At Exxelsior's computer
                The MUD is not that stable.

        Notes:  We are guessing that the admin are having a great
                preparty.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        17:55   At Exxelsior's floor
                We are discussing a girl named Una.

        Notes:  Very important report this is.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
 
        18:05   Exxelsior's room
                Gurk, Mishra and Dwinbar are holding eachother's hands
                while Exxelsior is lying on the floor taking pictures.

        Notes:  The pictures will be very stable.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        18:13   Unknown
                Mishra enters a short period of un-stableness where he
                threatens to cut Gurk.
       
        Notes:  It doesn't sound that cool in english "I will cut you
                fat, you're dissing my pen" (Falun socialstyrelse pen).
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        18:20   Exxelsior's floor
                The party is making scientific tests of what aftershave
                tastes the best. (Read: watching Gurk drink and take
                notes of reaction)
                Conclusion:
                Axe is better than Peak! Axe can be drunk with no drink
                mix, but Peak would taste better with lime.

        Notes:  It's not a substitute for Ragnar!
 
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        18:27   Exxelsior's door
                Incoming party members:
                Una, Kati, Keeper, Mortis, Kurgan, Thaadd, Leriam,
                Mugwort, Werenoop.

        Notes:  Many happy faces!
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        18:28   Somewhere in Exxelsior's room
                Dwinbar promises Una that Dwinbar will look much more
                pretty if she drinks this. (Pointing at a glass of
                (almost) Ragnar) Una disrespects Dwinbar very hard.
                - Dwinbar seem to be very sad and totally crushed.

        Notes:  Ragnar is a drink! Absolut Vodka Currant, sprite and
                some lime.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        18:31   Exxelsior's bed
                Exxelsior makes a forced entry in the logfile:
                "In the year of the lord and the mercy, 2000
                (The Jehovas were wrong but the mormons were correct)
                -Gurk is performing some magic tricks for Una. I
 
                 heard him saying 'The trick when we have sex and then
                 you disappear is the best'".
               
        Notes:  Bullshit /Gurk.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        18:34   Exxelsior's bed
                People are having fun, talking and getting to know each
                others. Apparently MUD is not the only subject
                discussed.

        Notes:  Quote from Mishra:
                "The situation is stable again, we are disrespecting
                 the freaks fat with cool".
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        18:35   Exxelsior's bed
                Una tells us that she has been MUDing since 1996.
                (Never tried vamps or damned) Has been in Kittens,
                Druids, Knights. Has about 6-7 chars, is married to
                Leriam, who happens to be her love in RL.

        Notes:  We thought that she was a newbie!
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
 
        18:55   Unknown (almost unreadable notes)
                ... have ... wife to be ... I am nice.

        Notes:  Gurk's handwriting.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        18:56   Unknown (almost undreadable notes)
                Taren got upon a ...

                <It might say 'girl', or it could also say 'party' or
                'home' - I can't tell>

                And I asked - "Did it generate anything?"
                "Yes, he said, what I said" (embarresing silence)

        Notes:  I don't get it either /Gurk.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        Unknown (beer stains on the paper) Unknown
                By Exxelsior:
                All females on the MUD! ... have Taren find you
                attractive if you meet Taren's requirements:
                1) You must smell good!
                2) Strong verbal communication skills.
 

                This can be trained while mudsexing Mishra.

        Notes:  Ehhh...
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        19:22   Unknown
                Dwinbar shouts:
                "Una looks good, for a blonde... all the sudden!"
                "Booze actually works"

        Notes:  Dwinbar has this thing about blond girls.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        19:50   The dinner at Herrgarden
                Mats holds his yearly welcome-speach.
                Mats says:
                "I didn't count with this when I started the project
                 and created NannyMUD. Sadly there were many people who
                 liked the game."

        Notes:  "When I created..." fear Mats!
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        19:55   The dinner at Herrgarden
 
                Everyone present themselves. People are smiling and are
                listening interestedly. This ritual is really good,
                because we don't know how we all look like RL.

        Notes:  Titleist: "I am titless!!!"             
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        20:20   At the 'admin table'
                Brom, Ahndregg, etc are talking about the admin meeting
                that was held this day. It was a good meeting, all held
                in english due to Barbarella visiting.
                Results:
                We are all penguins from monday!
                <The rest was censored by admins>

        Notes:  Barbarella was almost nice!
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        20:30   The dinner at Herrgarden (Almost unreadable notes)
                We are having a great time and we are drinking
                .... ... ...
                Werenoop proves the game admin plays "Say a letter and
                then demote all logged on starting on that letter".

 
        Notes:  Admins are nodding in agreement.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        20:45   The dinner at Herrgarden
                Gurk is starting to do his log-work poor now.

        Notes:  Gurk's alcohol level is starting to climb very fast
                here.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        20:50   The dinner at Herrgarden
                Gurk falls asleep.

        Notes:  >
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        20:55   The dinner at Herrgarden
                Gurk wakes up.

        Notes: 
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        20:57   The dinner at Herrgarden
                Gurk comments Dagoth and Lisette's baby as "veryyy
                prrrretty and schhoooo cute".

 
        Notes:  The kid is very cute and named 'Melina'. Melina doesn't
                like Gurk's camera tho. <Sorry about that /Gurk>
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        21:00   The dinner at Herrgarden
                Alexii says:
                "Logreports never lies, and that is a fact!!!"

        Notes:  How true!
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        21:05   The dinner at Herrgarden
                The food comes!

        Notes:  The main dish, right?
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        21:15   The dinner at Herrgarden
                Taren says that the food is eatable and are giggling
                happily at Barbarella who is eating and smiling.

        Notes:  The food was very good!
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        21:16   The dinner at Herrgarden
                Brom explains:
 
                "First you understand a bunch of languages, for example
                 english, and then you just understand your own, and
                 finally no language at all."

        Notes:  Was he refering to what happens to old programmers?
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        21:22   The dinner at Herrgarden
                -Gurk neglects the knife while eating!
                -Titleist tells us that he is nervous about if people
                 have paid for the dinner or not.
                -We are drinking a lot of wine!

        Notes:  Titleist was in charge of the dinner payments.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        21:50   Unknown
                (Gurk left the logbook unattended)
                Werenoop and Gurk are discussing something that seems
                to be important and secret.

        Notes:  We did? /Gurk.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        21:53   The dinner at Herrgarden
 
                Dwinbar screams: Eating phett!

        Notes:  Translated into english: Eating fat!
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        22:20   The dinner at Herrgarden
                Nasigoreng drops a comment to the logfile:
                "Democracy is an illusion, nanny admin has 100%
                 control."

        Notes:  Yes, it sure feels like that.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        22:21   The dinner at Herrgarden
                Mats roars: NO, THE ADMINS DOES WHAT I TELL THEM TO
                DO!!!!!!!

        Notes:  Applauds were heard.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        22:27   The dinner at Herrgarden
                "Whole log checked and approved /Mats."

        Notes:  Thank you!
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
 
        22:36   The dinner at Herrgarden
                After a Bamse-song and a toast to absent friends
                (by Brom), I exclaimed a wish for killing Pet!!
                Admins commented: "Foolish mortals!"
                Then admins continued singing.
                                                   -Weronoop

                Approved by Nasigoreng.

        Notes:  We are all mortals, according to Taren.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        22:45   The dinner at Herrgarden
                The rebbots are coming, the rebbots are coming!

        Notes:  =)
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        22:49   The dinner at Herrgarden
                Nasigoreng expresses his unwillingness to drink
                peasoup!

        Notes:  You *drink* that?
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
 
        22:51   The dinner at Herrgarden
                Exxelsior takes Mishra's coffee cup.
                Mishra says: "No thanks, no coffee for me... I'm
                driving."

        Notes:  Mishra can drive anywhere, because he is a car rental
                guy.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        22:55   The dinner at Herrgarden
                -Taren says: "Getting drunk on punch is like getting
                 drunk on champagne: You feel really special when you
                 wake up in the morning."
                -I'm tired <Gurk's handwriting>
                -Taren and Brom are holding a speech.

        Notes:  Noone knows what they talked about.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        23:38   Unknown (Blue ink again!!!)
                Gurk is drunk!
                Sabina?
                Yes what did they say?

 
        Notes:  Sabina sounds like 'the bees said...' translated.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        23:40   Unknown
                Gurk falls on Thargor and Taren.

        Notes:  I was just testing their reflexes!!! /Gurk
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        00:28   Unknown
                Talking with Mats
                He dominates!

        Notes:  We spoke about pretty girls on the dance floor.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        00:47 (or 00:42) Unknown
                <Unreadable>

        Notes:  Drat! =(
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        01:20   Outside Herrgarden
                We are drunk!
                (Mishra and Gurk)
                We seem to sit on a wooden bench outside Herrgarden
 
                after have consumed a hotdog, which was good. We have
                been kissing Dwinbar, his ex GF, some girl named Asa.
                They had small tits, which bothers us.
                The guard is probably homosexual.
                Exxelsior left the party, came back and left again.

        Notes:  Oriole had left, sick as usual.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        03:00   Dance floor at Herrgarden
                God (Mats) has been standing on the loudspeaker for
                a few hours, dancing and totally dominated the
                dancefloor.

        Notes:  He touched our heads and said "Your sins are forgiven,
                go in peace" to us, no-MUDers included.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        03:42   Exxelsior's place, afterparty
                Mortis teaches us that "boner" isn't as good as
                "stiffie". Raya disagrees and says that she knows that
                a hard on sounds nice.

        Notes:  They sound?
 
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        03:45   Exxelsior's place, afterparty
                Raya is angry with Mishra because he just refers to her
                as Braya.

        Notes:  Braja is what you make a joint from.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        03:54   Exxelsior's place, afterparty
                Exxelsior lives again (sigh)
                Nothel and Raya are posing happily for the camera.
                <Someone wrote this, typos included>
                "Becaus I know this monkey buisiness abort bananas and
                 anus."
                Exxelsior has a potato in his throat!!!

        Notes:  Exxelsior was really in a bad condition.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        Unknown Exxelsior's place, afterparty
                Mortis admits that he might have skavstor.
                "Dannoc deserved it."
                "Oriole pukes at Nothels place this year too."

 
        Notes:  Same procedure every year!
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        04:33   Exxelsior's place, afterparty
                <clear notes all of the sudden>
                Gurk is sleeping .       
                Mortis is leaving now, he isn't normal.
                Hrodlauf shall be disrespected!
                Braya is blabbering like hell!

        Notes:  Who is Ulrik and why do you think I talked with him?
                /Gurk
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        04:35   Exxelsior's place, afterparty
                Gurk is fighting with Dwinbar.
                Nothel is quiet.
                Iceberg is behaving good.

        Notes:  I think these are notes by Mishra /Gurk
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        04:38   Exxelsior's place, afterparty
                The situation is still very stable!
                Braya is caressing.
 
                <I can't read this but I think it says this:>
                Kinky spikes. Dwinbar desperate like hell.
                Mishra has not had any kids yet.

        Notes:  ---
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
        Unknown Exxelsior's place, afterparty
                My life's novel dominates!
                Hroddie talks pink!

        Notes:  ---
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------


            -------------------------------------------------------
            End Of Logfile 1.1
            -------------------------------------------------------


        The log was kindly lend to The NannyMUD Times by Gurk and can be found
        on 'http://gurk.dyndns.org/mud' as well.

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 10   --



        On July 15 1999 Lourdes and Leclerk got married RL. The NannyMUD
        Times wasn't there, but we bring you an interview with them anyway.

        The setting was Dunstan's workroom. The people were Lourdes, Leclerk
        and Dunstan. They talked about sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll, but what
        else was discussed? Read on and you might find out.

        (A lot of Lourdes' and Leclerk's story has been posted by Lourdes on
        her webpage, specifically in the biography section. If you happen to
        know absolutely nothing about them, we strongly advice you to check
        out 'http://www.july15.com/julia/biography.htm' before reading on)


   -- First off, it sounds like neither of you really planned on this
      happening, that Leclerk came to the US on a lark. Is that _really_ the
      case or was there some faint spark of interest in advance?


Lourdes says: That's pretty much what happened. There was interest, but it was
 
              curiosity rather than romantic interest. I can't say I was
              particularly fond of him before I met him -- I mean, this was a
              guy who played chars that most everyone hated.
Leclerk says: I think in my case. I've always been an extremely impulsive
              person. Ok, I'll try to tell the whole story here. I had been
              working constantly for over a year and playing computer games
              when I did not work, so I badly needed to get away somewhere. I
              had initially planned to go to Scotland with a friend. But for
              different reasons that trip got cancelled. So there I was in the
              middle of my 5 week vacation period. Having mudded for 2 weeks
              straight during my vacation and seriously needed to get away
              somewhere. During those two weeks I had rather frequently talked
              with this cute american girl on NannyMUD. So one night I just
              asked her straight out. "Hey, what are you doing the next two
              weeks?" "Can I come hangout with you?".
Leclerk says: So, in my case it was not necessarily romance, more a want to get
              away from my day-to-day routine for a while.


   -- Ok, and you two just got along great after meeting the first time?


 
Leclerk grins evilly.
Lourdes grins evilly.
Leclerk listens to Lourdes.
Lourdes says: We got along fairly well, although I thought that he was
              arrogant. He also smoked. ~


   -- Did you get him to quit?


Lourdes grins evilly.
Lourdes says: YES!
Leclerk says: Two times, too.
Lourdes says: (but not right then)
Lourdes says: In any event, we spent close to two weeks together, so beyond the
              initial impressions we got to know each other's personalities
              pretty well.


   -- Lourdes mentioned that after her trip to Sweden in late 1996 you
      decided that your relationship had a future. How did you decide that?
      And how did you think about the problems that lay ahead?
 


Leclerk says: Ok, well. The first two weeks was never intended as 'date' in the
              real sense, only as two fun weeks to hangout. When it was time
              for me to leave, we both kinda knew that was the end of our
              'date'. So when I left US after my vacation, neither of us
              thought it was going to go on. But we kept up contact on NannyMUD
              and somehow we both felt that there was something more there. And
              we both felt we wanted to give it a chance. That was when Julia
              decided to go on a vacation to Sweden and live with me for a
              little less than a month. Hmm, At that point, for some reason we
              never really seriously talked about any 'future'. I mean, at that
              point we just wanted to see eachother, we never really bothered
              about what would happen 1-2 years from now. Or the fact that we
              lived across the atlantic and that further 'dating' would be
              problematic.
Leclerk says: I think it was after her trip to Sweden that we seriously started
              to think, "Hey, maybe this can actually work."
Lourdes nods solemnly.
Leclerk says: It is kinda funny, how our relationship got strenghtened by the
              fact that we were apart, but used Nanny to keep contact and got
              to know eachother more.
 
Lourdes tickles Leclerk and says 'That sounds cheesy.'.
Leclerk grins evilly at Lourdes.
Leclerk says: Well, you know what I mean? That when we met in RL it was
              another aspect of our relationship that got strenghened, but when
              we were apart we strenghened other parts of our relationship.


   -- Do you think it would have been different if you were two people meeting
      RL instead of here?


Leclerk listens to Lourdes.
Lourdes says: Well, if some guy had walked off the street and into where I
              worked and chatted with me off and on for two weeks and then
              asked me to go on vacation with him for two weeks, that isn't
              very likely. And maybe it was a bit foolish that this is what we
              did, but there just seems something different about it here --
              that in degrees of not knowing someone, you can still know them
              pretty well(?). So, yeah, it would likely never have happened if
              it were RL.
Lourdes says: Really, that made sense in my mind as I was typing it.
Leclerk says: To an extent I think it is a benefit to have slowly been
 
              'growing' together. In my own case, I know when dating RL girls.
              Then every weekend you will feel forced to come up with
              'something to do'. Go to a movie, go out and eat. Yes, a lot of
              the time those things are nice things. But to an exent when
              dating RL girls. Some of those things you do can become forced
              and something that you feel that you absolutely need to do to
              keep up the relationship, without really caring about going to
              see a movie.
Leclerk says: That never happened here, whenever we met. We had been apart for
              5-6 months, so we both wanted to stay together as much as
              possible during those few weeks we met.


   -- How do you describe your meeting to people?  I.e., do you just say, "We
      met online?" Or do you say, "We met on a mud, which is a Multiple-User
      Dungeon interactive ... "  (and on and on and on)?


Lourdes says: I say "We met online, while playing a game." but it's sometimes
              embarrassing. To people whose extent with being online involves
              checking their email and using a web browser, explaining a MUD is
              usually wasted breath.
 
Leclerk says: I personally would never mention to anyone that we met on 'a
              game'. I just simply say 'We met on the internet', and when
              people keep asking questions I just explain that I went to live
              with her for 6 months in US when I get questions like "oh, you
              married someone you never met?"
Leclerk says: But sure, it's kinda hard to convince Grandma and Grandpa that
              there is nothing wrong with meeting someone online.
Lourdes says: A lot of people have preconceived ideas about the type of people
              who meet online, too. One of my co-workers, who happens to live
              in the same apartment building we do, said to me one day, "I saw
              your husband the other day. He actually looked like a regular
              guy. Since you guys met online, I was picturing some small,
              stooped guy with thick glasses."


   -- Did the long distance discourage you two at any point?


Leclerk thinks carefully.
Leclerk says: Well, there is tons of problems of long distance. And of
              different levels. For example. First that we at long periods
              lived apart with NannyMUD as our only communication, it put alot
 
              of strain on us when it came to making plans to meet online to
              talk. Someone got something else urgent todo while the other
              person was sitting bored and wait for 3 hours without knowing
              where the other was. Second I would say that since we come from
              two different cultures we had lots of problems to melt together
              in a troublefree manner. Eventho everyone looks upon themselfs as
              openminded, that is rarely the case. So, culturally we had some
              'bumps' on the road.
Lourdes grins evilly.
Leclerk smiles happily.


   -- Having gone through all that (on-line and long distance relationships),
      how do you feel about them now? Lourdes mentioned on her webpage that
      she was leery of them in general. Do you feel more optimistic about
      them now?


Lourdes says: I don't, really. While ours ultimately worked, I feel it was
              predominantly luck in the way it turned out. I still think anyone
              who wants to be in a long-distance relationship is nuts.
Leclerk says: I never really had any opinion about online relationships, I
 
              mean, if it works for someone, then great.


   -- Ok, as for the 'bumps'...  It must sound easy to some people when you say
      "I moved to the States to live with Lourdes", or "I moved to Sweden to
      live with Leclerk". What was it like settling in a completely different
      country?


Leclerk grins evilly.
Leclerk says: Yes, I must admit that personally I learned never to
              underestimate the extreme strains it puts on you to live an ocean
              away from 'home', I guess that somehow I did have that
              misconception that it would probably be pretty easy. I never
              realized how much my family or friends meant to me before I
              settled down one ocean away from them, one could argue that it
              takes that to open up your eyes.
Leclerk says: So, yes. It is has been extremely hard for me. I think probably
              since I had so strong family ties and so many friends that I left
              behind. Just hearing about your friends having a party and
              knowing that you can not go. Or having your grand-father die and
              you know you cannot attend the funeral. So, no. It is no easy
 
              thing.
Lourdes says: It was kind of an adventure for me. Though I'd studied Swedish
              for 2 years at UW, classroom work didn't quite prepare me for
              being tossed right into the middle of it. I was able to take some
              more Swedish classes after I'd arrived, but language was
              definitely the biggest obstacle at first. It was also hard to not
              know hardly anyone. I never really got homesick at all, so that
              wasn't an issue.


   -- Lastly, what piece of advice would you give to the two people sitting
      in two different parts of the world and being a little interested in
      each other? Is there anything they should consider before jumping into
      it?


Lourdes laughs.
Lourdes says: Don't do it!
Leclerk grins evilly at Lourdes.
Leclerk says: No, but seriously. To consider ALL aspects. The paperwork and
              taxes is the easy part. The cultural and family and friend part
              being the hard part.
 
Lourdes says: If you want a really serious answer: If you're interested in
              meeting someone to see what they're like, go ahead -- what have
              you got to lose? Maybe you'll even get along. However, imho it's
              impossible to be in love with someone you've never met -- that's
              all expectations and, worse, delusions.



        And on that note we ended the interview. Lourdes was carted off by a
        a parade of angry toadstools, Leclerk was off to eat Easter eggs, and
        Dunstan was left picking his nose.

        We at The NannyMUD Times congratulate Lourdes and Leclerk (a little
        late) and wish them a prosperous marriage in the future.

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 11   --



                  SPECIAL PULL-OUT NANNY ZODIAC SECTION


        -----------------------------------------------------------
        It's your Nanny horoscope special pull-out section! That's
        right, someone actually went to the trouble of
        scientifically consulting those thirteen constellations up
        there in the sky, matching them with the thirteen months
        (don't give ME any of this "coincidence" crap), working out
        where alliances lay and where enmities, and then making up
        some stuff about how this would affect your character.

        So below are the thirteen signs of the Nanny zodiac and
        their relationships. Now you can tell what sort of person
        you must be! Simply consult the month in which your
        character was born. (If you don't know which Nanny month
        your character was born in, make one up. If you don't know
        what the Nanny months are, type "help time.") Enjoy.

 
        -----------------------------------------------------------
        Your sign: The Executioner
        Your month: Darkness
        Your constellation: Armageddon, the Game-Crasher
        Allied sign: The Dragon (Month of Demons)
        Opposed sign: The Apprentice (Month of Plant)
        Your best years: Darkness, Daemon, Sacrifice

        This sign is not the sign merely of destruction, but rather
        of careful culling. The Executioner does not oppose life,
        but rather incautious and excessive innovation. The
        Executioner so opposes the Apprentice, that sometimes
        over-enthusiastic and careless creator. The Executioner
        frequently finds himself in sympathy with the much more
        bloodthirsty Dragon, but their purposes are rarely the same,
        for the Executioner kills not for killing's sake but so that
        new days may dawn.

        The Executioner is associated with the constellation of
        Armageddon for obvious reasons.

        -----------------------------------------------------------
 
        Your sign: The Judge
        Your month: Truth
        Your constellation: Padrone, the Wizard of Law and Balance
        Allied sign: The Gatekeeper (Month of Law)
        Opposed sign: The Trickster (Month of Illusion)
        Your best years: Purification, Golden Age, Light

        The Judge is the sign of moral decisions. The Judge must
        weigh laws against good or evil intentions. While the Judge,
        like the Gatekeeper, judges people according to the rules,
        sometimes she must look beyond those rules to extenuating
        circumstances. This can produce vague decisions, but on the
        whole she is far more comfortable with a fair but
        complicated outcome than a simple but too-harsh decision.
        Her enemy is the Trickster, the occasionally-malicious and
        always-contrary liar, who delights in breaking not only the
        letter but also the spirit of the law.

        The Judge is associated with the constellation of
        Padrone--for while Padrone is the wizard of law, he is also
        the wizard of the balance that is essential to finding the
        truth.
 

        -----------------------------------------------------------
        Your sign: The Traveller
        Your month: Wind
        Your constellation: Leowon, the Master of Maps
        Allied sign: The Trickster (Month of Illusion)
        Opposed sign: The Gatekeeper (Month of Law)
        Your best years: Wind, Dragon, Purification

        The Traveller crosses all boundaries. The Traveller's
        controlling passion is wanderlust. She believes laws do not
        apply to the well-intentioned--or at least to those who
        intend no harm--and thus often breaks laws carelessly in her
        search for adventure. Unlike her friend the Trickster,
        however, she has no real intent to disturb anyone, and would
        rather wander off than cause concern. For this reason, she
        bothers the Gatekeeper much more than she does the Judge,
        for the Judge sees that she does no harm while the
        Gatekeeper is concerned more with boundaries.

        The Traveller's constellation is that of Leowon the
        map-maker, for even the lightest-hearted traveller sometimes
 
        consults a map.

        -----------------------------------------------------------
        Your sign: The Witch
        Your month: Water
        Your constellation: Angmar, the Elder Wizard
        Allied sign: The Mountain (Month of Earth)
        Opposed sign: The Lamplighter (Month of Fire)
        Your best years: Elves, Blood, Balance

        The Witch represents continual and apparently chaotic
        activity that, in the end, falls into a cycle. Like her
        friend the Mountain, she desires steady growth--but perhaps
        is more impatient for it (she certainly is more changeable).
        While often believed to be evil, the Witch is simply
        unpredictable and never looks back, so sometimes her
        mistakes never get cleaned up. Still, she is on the whole a
        sign of continuity, and is thus opposed to the Lamplighter,
        who is interested much more in bright beginnings than fluid
        continuity.

        The Witch is associated with the constellation Angmar, who
 
        is named after a fabled witch-king of old.

        -----------------------------------------------------------
        Your sign: The Scholar
        Your month: Spirit
        Your constellation: Profezzorn Naranek
        Allied sign: The Lamplighter (Month of Fire)
        Opposed sign: The Mountain (Month of Earth)
        Your best years: Light, Wind, Magic

        The Scholar, a man of ideas, has his head in the clouds. He
        scorns the flesh, as well as much of the practical dirty
        work needed to carry through on his ideas--and yet is
        paradoxically a hidden source of strength in the community,
        for he remembers many things that would otherwise be lost.
        Being fascinated with bright, new ideas, he is a good friend
        to the Lamplighter, though the Lamplighter is often
        fascinated with the new to the exclusion of the old.
        Scorning worldly concerns, the Scholar is also opposed to
        the solid sign of earth, the Mountain.

        The Scholar's constellation is that of Profezzorn Naranak,
 
        whose creations always displayed that delight in the
        otherworldly that mark the Scholar.

        -----------------------------------------------------------
        Your sign: The Smith
        Your month: Fertility
        Your constellation: Anvil, the Retired Arch-Wizard
        Allied sign: The Apprentice (Month of Plant)
        Opposed sign: The Dragon (Month of Demons)
        Your best years: Blood, Sacrifice, Creation

        The Smith is the workhorse of the world. The Smith, while
        not always innovative, is a craftsman who turns out most of
        the things and creatures in the world, and with speed and
        skill to boot. The Smith is therefore far more productive in
        terms of sheer volume than his friend the Apprentice, even
        if little that may be called "new" comes from beneath his
        hammer. The Dragon, sign of true destruction, therefore is
        his sworn enemy, as the Dragon's aim is to not only cull the
        possibly monstrous but also the useful and good.

        The Smith is associated with the sign of Anvil because of
 
        his use of that tool.

        -----------------------------------------------------------
        Your sign: The Apprentice
        Your month: Plant
        Your constellation: Milamber, the Retired Arch-Wizard
        Allied sign: The Smith (Month of Fertility)
        Opposed sign: The Executioner (Month of Darkness)
        Your best years: Humans, Elves, Balance

        The Apprentice is the sign of youthful growth. Unlike the
        Smith, its allied sign, the Apprentice is not interested
        merely in steady creation, but in creation as an
        idea--though of course, like any apprentice, the apprentice
        sometimes errs in his enthusiasm, producing monsters. The
        Executioner often has to curb this sign's sometimes erratic
        output, though of course without such work the world would
        not be anywhere near so wonderful and odd.

        The Apprentice is associated with the sign of Milamber.
        Legend has it that Milamber too was once an apprentice who
        grew to become the greatest wizard of two worlds, which is
 
        the burning hope of all apprentices.

        -----------------------------------------------------------
        Your sign: The Mountain
        Your month: Earth
        Your constellation: Oros, the Idle Wizard
        Allied sign: The Witch (Month of Water)
        Opposed sign: The Scholar (Month of Spirit)
        Your best years: Giants, Creation, Humans

        The Mountain represents solidity and strength. People born
        under this sign are dependable and productive, if
        occasionally a trifle stodgy. Those born under the Mountain
        believe that the well-known always has a certain edge over
        the unknown, however attractive that unknown thing may be.
        For that reason, the Mountain opposes the dreamy Scholar.
        Surprisingly, though, his friend is that other aid to
        fertility, the aquatic Witch, for while water may be far
        more random than earth, nonetheless overall it leads to
        steady growth.

        The Mountain is associated with Oros, whose name in a lost
 
        tongue means "mountain."

        -----------------------------------------------------------
        Your sign: The Storyteller
        Your month: Harmony
        Your constellation: Mats, the Creator
        Allied sign: none
        Opposed sign: none
        Your best years: Balance, Golden Age, Law

        This sign is peculiar in that it has neither enemy nor ally.
        It is the sign of recording and of making, the sign of an
        abstract tapestry of stories pulled into a very real world.
        The Storyteller knows that our stories are our world, and
        views all the other signs as merely part of the story--as is
        she. She cannot therefore take any of the other signs'
        actions personally, and instead stands outside of all of
        them, watching, recording, and crafting all the while.

        The constellation associated with this sign is that of Mats,
        for like Mats the Storyteller's occupation was to build the
        world started by Lars.
 

        -----------------------------------------------------------
        Your sign: The Lamplighter
        Your month: Fire
        Your constellation: Lars, the Implementor
        Allied sign: The Scholar (Month of Spirit)
        Opposed sign: The Witch (Month of Water)
        Your best years: Creation, Purification, Light

        The Lamplighter is the sign of bright beginnings. Sometimes
        it seems the Lamplighter leaves his creations to fend for
        themselves too much, but nonetheless he provides the initial
        spark which lights the world. He is friends with the
        Scholar, who also loves the realm of thought and
        possibility, but pays less attention to the past: every day
        is a new day to the Lamplighter. This love of continual,
        regular novelty irritates the Witch, his fluid opposite.

        The Lamplighter is associated with the constellation Lars,
        the first lamplighter.

        -----------------------------------------------------------
 
        Your sign: The Trickster
        Your month: Illusion
        Your constellation: Someone, the Coward
        Allied sign: The Traveller (Month of Wind)
        Opposed sign: The Judge (Month of Truth)
        Your best years: Magic, Sacrilege, Wind

        The Trickster is a complicated sign. Perhaps he sees his job
        as one of confounding others' fundamental beliefs--but he
        will happily lie, cheat, and steal in service of this goal.
        Being contrary is to him preferable to being sheerly random.
        But the Trickster is not evil, per se; he is rather amoral.
        While he is friendly with the Traveller, the sign of
        randomness, their paths do not always lie side-by-side, as
        the Trickster often stays in one place to cause his havoc.
        The Judge is his opposite, for the Judge is more concerned
        with sins of the spirit than infractions of the law, and the
        Trickster is never even sorry.

        The constellation associated with this sign is Someone, for
        like Someone, you can never be sure of whom you're dealing
        with when you meet a person born under this sign.
 

        -----------------------------------------------------------
        Your sign: The Gatekeeper
        Your month: Law
        Your constellation: Qqqq, the God of Banishment
        Allied sign: The Judge (Month of Truth)
        Opposed sign: The Traveller (Month of Wind)
        Your best years: Law, Balance, Golden Age

        The Gatekeeper is an arbiter of truth and lies. The
        Gatekeeper is much more literal-minded than his ally, the
        Judge, who is concerned more with shades of grey. Instead,
        the Gatekeeper bases his decisions on simple standards and
        thus opposes the Traveller--for the Trickster may stay in
        one place and break no laws even as he upsets conventions,
        but the Traveller has no respect for the Gatekeeper's
        black-and-white borders.

        The Gatekeeper is associated therefore with Qqqq, God of
        Banishment.

        -----------------------------------------------------------
 
        Your sign: The Dragon
        Your month: Demons
        Your constellation: Lpd, the Line Printer Daemon
        Allied sign: The Executioner (Month of Darkness)
        Opposed sign: The Smith (Month of Fertility)
        Your best years: Daemon, Dragon, Sacrilege

        The Dragon, as opposed to its allied sign the Executioner,
        really is opposed to existing good, functional things as
        well as new growth. The Dragon favors chaos and destruction
        for its own sake. For that reason, the Dragon opposes the
        Smith, the sign of rapid and continual production.

        This sign is associated with the constellation of Lpd, the
        printer daemon.

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 12   --



                      Nanny horoscope for May 2000
       

        -----------------------------------------------------------
        Sign: Executioner                           Month: Darkness

        As we move through the Executioner-friendly Month of Demons
        right into your very own Month of Darkness, you can expect
        things to be going your way. This will be especially true as
        we move into one of your best years, the Year of Sacrifice.
        Ride the wave! Everything's going your way.

        -----------------------------------------------------------
        Sign: Judge                                    Month: Truth

        This is a rocky time of year for you, Judge: you pass from a
        very bad month (Illusion) through your two best months (Law
        and Truth) back into a not-so-good month (Wind). It's a time
        of changes for you, Judge, so watch your back.
 

        -----------------------------------------------------------
        Sign: Traveller                                 Month: Wind

        Well, Traveller, things are looking up. You can expect some
        opposition from those around you for a while, but soon
        enough it'll be the Month of Wind and things will be better
        for you. While the Years of Blood and Sacrifice aren't
        exactly your best, fertile Blood may nonetheless bring a
        little love your way soon.

        -----------------------------------------------------------
        Sign: Witch                                    Month: Water

        Alas, Witch, we're moving out of your year into a more
        neutral year for you--but then it's not such a good year
        for those opposed to you, so things shouldn't be too bad.
        The cycle from Blood to Sacrifice might trigger some
        interesting changes for you, so stay alert for
        opportunities.

        -----------------------------------------------------------
 
        Sign: Scholar                                 Month: Spirit

        Time to keep your head down, Scholar. While the signs aren't
        explicitly against you, nonetheless the transition from
        Illusion to Law to Demons to Darkness and back to Truth is
        upsetting in such an earthy pair of years as Blood and
        Sacrifice. You'll find yourself uneasy with the truths you
        may find over the next few weeks.

        -----------------------------------------------------------
        Sign: Smith                                Month: Fertility

        It's time for you to stand up for yourself, Smith. Your
        enemies find their allies growing stronger with the new
        year, but both the Years of Blood and Sacrifice are your
        years, too, years of renewal and fertility. Let the
        challenge make you stronger and more productive than ever.

        -----------------------------------------------------------
        Sign: Apprentice                               Month: Plant

        Things look pretty bad right now: your worst months are
 
        coming up and the Year of Sacrifice is coming in, which
        means your enemy the Executioner is coming on strong. Still,
        the Years of Blood and Sacrifice are also years associated
        with your friend the Smith, so I suggest you pay attention
        to worldly matters for once and stick with your friends in
        this time of trouble.

        -----------------------------------------------------------
        Sign: Mountain                                 Month: Earth

        Well, not much is going on for you, Mountain. These coming
        months are neither good nor bad for you. Still, you might
        look out for your friends, who are going through a time of
        change. Who knows? You might even find that your friends
        turn to you for romance in these years associated with
        fertility.

        -----------------------------------------------------------
        Sign: Storyteller                            Month: Harmony

        Always serene Storyteller, what story will you tell this
        month? This year and that to come are both years of
 
        fertility, but we're also moving from a year associated with
        water to one associated with darkness, surely a sign of
        imminent rebirth. It's time for big changes in the world,
        Storyteller, so be prepared to record them. (And remember
        the Law of Unexpected Consequences!)

        -----------------------------------------------------------
        Sign: Lamplighter                               Month: Fire

        Little's happening to you right now, Lamplighter. But note
        that while your enemies will lose ground in the new year to
        come, a year associated with darkness can't be good for you,
        either. Pay attention to the Storyteller's horoscope,
        though: where there's rebirth, there's a need for you. Make
        sure you're prepared.

        -----------------------------------------------------------
        Sign: Trickster                             Month: Illusion

        There's a bumpy ride ahead for you, Trickster: we start in
        your month, go through a couple of bad months, and come out
        again in a pretty good time for you. Still, years of blood
 
        and sacrifice are a bit too real for you; you might want to
        not trust to your luck too much.

        -----------------------------------------------------------
        Sign: Gatekeeper                                 Month: Law

        Like your friend the Judge, Gatekeeper, you'll find the next
        few months trying. Years of fertility, water, and darkness
        also upset your highly-developed sense of order, so you
        might find yourself worse off than your friends. Make sure,
        then, that you take good care of yourself in the coming
        months.

        -----------------------------------------------------------
        Sign: Dragon                                  Month: Demons

        'Tis the season to be (cautiously) hacking and slashing,
        good friend Dragon. You've got the drop on the Smith for a
        couple of months (though both this year and the next are his
        years, so be careful!). So team up with an Executioner,
        whose luck is good and getting better right now, and wreak a
        little havoc. G'wan, you know you want to.
 



---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 13   --



        This month our Pub Reviewer, Reznor the Damsel, takes a look at the
        well-reputed diner 'The Kentish Cafe'.

        The Cafe is in a nice location, close to Lars town. From the main
        shop in Lars town it's down the stairs to the station, then a short
        coach ride to Kent. From there the Kentish Cafe is north and east
        along the road. It's a nice, peaceful area, and questers can find
        much to do in the nearby mansion.

        The Cafe specializes in foreign and a bit gourmet dishes compared to
        most else of Nanny, and has a cosy, old tea-house atmosphere with its
        stiched wall-hangings with quotes about tea and smells of tea, which
        they specialize in.

        The prices are expensive, and they don't offer anything specifically

        for mind or body; everything heals both hp and sp equally. They do
        have both drink and food, though. It's an alternative to the Lars
        town pubs and restuarants.

 
        The menu is as follows:

                      ~~~oO Menu Oo~~~
        Teas:
        A cup of Assam tea                              45
        A cup of Jasmine tea                           115
        A cup of cherry-flavoured Formosa oolong tea   225

        Exotic teas:
        Indian Masala Chai                              45
        Japanese Matcha                                115
        Buryat Nogoon Sai (salted)                     225

        Cold drinks:
        Melon wine cup                                  45
        Iced tea punch                                 115
        Cherry cup                                     225

        Cakes:
        Brandy snaps with clotted cream                 45
        Madeira cake                                   115
 
        Kentish cherry cake                            225

        A unique experience:
        Enjoy the famous and exotic Japanese tea ceremony
        with our native Japanese tea-master!
        Cha-no-yu: prices range from 50 to 450 gold coins.


        Teas & Drinks:
        The malty-flavored Assam tea, the Indian Masala Chai and the blend of
        honeydew and tea Melon wine cup are the cheapest at 45 coins and both
        heal 5 HP & SP.

        Next, for 115 each, and 10 HP & SP healing, are the soothing Jasmine
        tea, the green Japanese Matcha tea and Iced tea punch.

        Last in the drinks and most expensive for 225 gold, the cherry-
        flavored Formosa oolong tea with it's light champagne, the exotic,
        salted Buryat Nogoon Sai and the very refreshing red wine Cherry cup.
        All 20 HP & SP.


 
        Cakes:
        The crisp Brandy snaps with clotted cream costs 45 coins and of course
        heal 5 HP & SP.

        Then the lemon and almond Madeira cake for a 10 HP & SP heal, costing
        115 coins.

        Finally, the Kentish cherry cake:  It's very rich and costly at
        225 coins, and gives 20 HP & SP healing.


        The Japanese tea ceremony:
        This is a little interesting, but it takes a while to do. It cost me
        250 coins, and I received about 40 HP & SP total. Very relaxing, and
        might be a good thing to do if you're needing to sober up some. Just
        wait and the tea-master will lead you and serve you.

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 14   --



        Straight outta Harlem Shonuff brings us this issue's PK log.


> Village green <w e n s>.
Braveguy's hunting falcon.
Braveguy the High Knight of Camelot (lonely).
Maddog the Worshipper of Cthulhu ((GETTINGBETTER)).
Nocit Tilondo-im-Simyar (good).
A dusty statue of Guest.
> Hump-backed bridge <d w e s>.
An old caravan is standing here. Its door is ajar.
> Wilderness <w e n>.
> Edge of Forest <w e n s>.
> Clearing <w e n s nw>.
> Dark Forest <w e s sw>.
> The road to skullcap <w e n s>.
An old man.
> A road to Skullcap <w e n s>.
> A mountainpass near Skullcap <w e n s>.
 
An eagle, flying in circles up in the air.
> As you call for the eagle, it dives down towards you and
grabs you. It flies away with you - you think south - over
a big mountain, and a sea, and puts you down at the edge of
an island.
Island entrance <w n>.
> A sandy shore <w s>.
An evil beetle, looking for victims.
A boat.
> West of a shore <e n s>.
> A beautiful place <w n s>.
> At the mountainside <e n>.
A white bird.
> The start of a track <w e s>.
> The continuation of a track <w e>.
> End of track <e>.
> You scale up the mountain wall.
On a plateau <d>.
> You jump onto the cloud!
South end of a cloud <n>.
> The southern part of a cloud cloud <n s>.
A tiny angel.
 
> The center of a cloud <w e n s>.
A tiny angel.
> Remembering your earlier tumble through the clouds, you jump down
more safely this time, avoiding a tumble into the ocean.  Instead,
you land in the firm, dry sand of a beach.
Gravel road <w se>.
> -= Groda's Tavern =- <out>.
Dragos from beyond the spheres (Booster).
> You scratch Dragos!
> You begin to focus your disease to your finger!
> You are too busy to do that right now.
> ** HP: 202/202   SP: 177/202
** Dragos is in very good shape.
You deliver your disease at Dragos.
Dragos orders a platter of frogbutts.
Groda says: That'll be 120 coins, please.
Dragos eats a platter of frogbutts with a strange look on his face.
You are too busy to do that right now.
> You begin to focus your disease to your finger!
> You are too busy to do that right now.
> You are too busy to do that right now.
> Dragos smiles serenely, and lifts his blade to eye level, the point aimed at
 
your throat.
You are too busy to do that right now.
> You stab Dragos forcefully several times!
Dragos missed you.
** HP: 202/202   SP: 152/202
** Dragos is in superior shape.
You deliver your disease at Dragos.
You are too busy to do that right now.
> Dragos chants a spell, and the magic answers to the call!
Dragos points at himself, and utters a Word Of Power!
You begin to focus your disease to your finger!
> You are too busy to do that right now.
> You cut Dragos to small, small pieces of raw meat!
Dragos missed you.
** HP: 202/202   SP: 127/202
** Dragos is in good shape.
You deliver your disease at Dragos.
Dragos brings his blade around in a perfect circle. You stare at him in morbid
fascination as the tip cuts your throat.
Dragos missed you.
You order a plate of froglegs.
Groda says: That'll be 50 coins, please.
 
You devour a plate of froglegs with relish.
** HP: 202/202   SP: 137/202
** Dragos is in good shape.
> You begin to focus your disease to your finger!
> Dragos orders a glass of frogblood.
Groda says: That'll be 120 coins, please.
Dragos drinks a frogblood with a strange look on his face.
You are too busy to do that right now.
> You are too busy to do that right now.
> You scratch Dragos!
** HP: 183/202   SP: 137/202
** Dragos is in very good shape.
Dragos slashed you across the face.
** HP: 183/202   SP: 112/202
** Dragos is in very good shape.
You deliver your disease at Dragos.
Dragos missed you.
Dragos suddenly hisses: Bright light! Bright light!
You are too busy to do that right now.
> You are too busy to do that right now.
> Dragos smiles serenely, and lifts his blade to eye level, the point aimed at
your throat.
 
You are too busy to do that right now.
> You begin to focus your disease to your finger!
> You scratch Dragos!
Dragos missed you.
** HP: 183/202   SP: 87/202
** Dragos is in superior shape.
You deliver your disease at Dragos.
The last of your worn bandages crumble away and wither to dust.
** HP: 182/202   SP: 87/202
** Dragos is in superior shape.
Dragos nicked you in the stomach.
You order a plate of froglegs.
Groda says: That'll be 50 coins, please.
You devour a plate of froglegs with relish.
** HP: 190/202   SP: 87/202
** Dragos is in superior shape.
** HP: 190/202   SP: 97/202
** Dragos is in superior shape.
> You begin to focus your disease to your finger!
> You are too busy to do that right now.
> You stab Dragos forcefully several times!
** HP: 178/202   SP: 97/202
 
** Dragos is in very good shape.
Dragos slashed you in the chest.
** HP: 178/202   SP: 72/202
** Dragos is in good shape.
You deliver your disease at Dragos.
Dragos brings his blade around in a perfect circle. You stare at him in morbid
fascination as the tip cuts your throat.
** HP: 121/202   SP: 72/202
** Dragos is in good shape.
** HP: 114/202   SP: 72/202
** Dragos is in fair shape.
Dragos slashed you.
Chunks of rotting flesh drop from Dragos as a massive wave of disease
hits him.
You are too busy to do that right now.
> Dragos smiles serenely, and lifts his blade to eye level, the point aimed at
your throat.
You are too busy to do that right now.
> You are too busy to do that right now.
> You order a bottle of frogjuice.
Groda says: That'll be 50 coins, please.
You slam down a frogjuice.
 
** HP: 122/202   SP: 72/202
** Dragos is in poor shape.
** HP: 122/202   SP: 82/202
** Dragos is in poor shape.
> You order a bottle of frogjuice.
Groda says: That'll be 50 coins, please.
You slam down a frogjuice.
** HP: 130/202   SP: 82/202
** Dragos is in poor shape.
** HP: 130/202   SP: 92/202
** Dragos is in poor shape.
> You order a bottle of frogjuice.
Groda says: That'll be 50 coins, please.
You slam down a frogjuice.
** HP: 138/202   SP: 92/202
** Dragos is in poor shape.
** HP: 138/202   SP: 102/202
** Dragos is in poor shape.
> Dragos orders a glass of frogblood.
Groda says: That'll be 120 coins, please.
Groda says: I think you've had enough for a while, man.
The bartender returns his money.
 
You cut Dragos badly!
** HP: 117/202   SP: 102/202
** Dragos is in poor shape.
Dragos cut a deep bleeding wound in you.
Dragos trembles as the disease affects him.
You begin to focus your disease to your finger!
> You are too busy to do that right now.
> You are too busy to do that right now.
> You begin to focus your disease to your finger!
> ** HP: 94/202   SP: 102/202
** Dragos is in weak shape.
Dragos cut a deep bleeding wound in you.
You cut Dragos badly!
** HP: 94/202   SP: 77/202
** Dragos is in weak shape.
You deliver your disease at Dragos.
** HP: 94/202   SP: 52/202
** Dragos is in weak shape.
You deliver your disease at Dragos.
Dragos brings his blade around in a perfect circle. You stare at him in morbid
fascination as the tip cuts your throat.
** HP: 55/202   SP: 52/202
 
** Dragos is in weak shape.
** HP: 34/202   SP: 52/202
** Dragos is in very weak shape.
Dragos cut a deep bleeding wound in you.
The secret police membership is secret property of the Secret Police,
and it cannot simply be dropped for anyone to find!
If you want to get rid of the membership, you must eat it.
[PK Information] Shonuff just killed Dragos.
You are victorious!!!
[PK Information] From somewhere deep inside the temple you hear a voice saying:
                             Hail Shonuff!!!
Dragos died.
Chunks of rotting flesh drop from Some mist as a massive wave of disease
hits him.
The mist left the game.
You order a bottle of frogjuice.
Groda says: That'll be 50 coins, please.
You slam down a frogjuice.

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 15   --



                                 Classified Ads


       To respond to these ads, send mud-mail to "times" with the "Respond
       to:" phrase in the subject line. Your mail will be forwarded to the
       appropriate party. You get ONE anonymous mail to the ad-holder if you
       request, but then the two of you must exchange mud-mail addresses.
       
       ----------------------------------------------------------------------
       Old wizard looking for someone to idle [TM] with. Currently guildhead
       for a noble guild and could use a good friend to spend endless hours
       idling with.

       Respond to: We can be quiet

       ----------------------------------------------------------------------
       American hosting Europeans of various nationalities needs supplies to
       make them feel at home and to keep them entertained. Seeking donations
       of: high-octane coffee, good strong beer, high-tar cigarettes,
 
       left-wing newspapers, a real health-care system, striking
       public-transportation workers, drunken soccer players, drunken soccer
       fans, and one flock of sheep.

       Respond to: American hospitality

       ----------------------------------------------------------------------
       Human-computer interaction research scientist looking for subjects to
       participate in studies of the Multiple-User Dungeon (MUD) set of
       computer programs. Especially interested in the phenomenon of
       textually-simulated sexual behavior online.

       Respond to: It really is science

       ----------------------------------------------------------------------
       Stupid wizard who never did figure mudsex out wants another try. I
       promise I can type with one hand so long as you don't need capital
       letters or punctuation.

       Respond to: Mid-life crisis

       ----------------------------------------------------------------------
 
       Newbie looking for free XP, QP, and gold. I shout obscenities from the
       village green, you bring me stuff. Deal?

       Don't bother send me mail: I'm everywhere.

       ----------------------------------------------------------------------
       Cheap electricity for sale: NannyMUD Times staff member with boundless
       energy will run like a maniac on a treadmill until you can power
       house, car, electrical substation. In exchange, staff member requests
       indefinite number of interesting, good-looking babes available for
       dates.

       Respond to: Human dynamo
       
>
>
> read page 16
You read page 16 in your newspaper.

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 16   --



        You feel stupid? Well, worry not. We have done a little research in
        the world outside, and we might be able to come up with a couple of
        people not as gifted as you when it comes to brains.


        Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter
        bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting
        it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

        Well, here's something you don't read about every day. Inmates
        released from jail as punishment for committing a crime. Four Amish
        men were jailed for vandalizing a neighbour's farm last spring. They
        were released early from jail because it was feared that they were
        being spoiled by modern conveniences in the jail. "I thought we better
        get them out of here because they were getting too used to it," said
        Buchanan County Jail Administrator Russell West. "I think we were
        ruining them here." He believes the inmates were starting to like
        things like TVs, electric lights, telephones and running water, all
        things not permitted in Amish life styles.
 

        A man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 8:50 AM,
        flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he
        said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the
        man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
        breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

        A company called "Guns For Hire" stages gunfights for Western movies
        and other events. One day, a middle-aged woman called to inquire if
        they could kill her husband. She was sentenced to four and a half
        years.

        Two Florida brothers convinced a dentist into letting them chop off
        his finger. They would claim it was an accident and the three would
        split the insurance money. The dentist at first agreed, but quickly
        changed his mind. The brothers became infuriated, held the dentist
        down and forcibly cut his index finger off. The dentist could no
        longer practice and collected over one million dollars. When the
        brothers tried to extort money from the dentist, he reported them to
        the FBI. They were promptly arrested.
       


---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 17   --



        If you have been to Hrodlauf's area you know it. If you haven't,
        here is your chance to get to know it. Hrodlauf has been generous
        enough to let us print his quiz, so here it is starting from his
        Quiz number two.

        Solutions on Quiz number one, which only existed in Hrodlauf's area
        can be found at the stand in his area along with a toplist.

        Solutions on Quiz number two will also be presented in Hrodlauf's
        Quiz in his area when Quiz number three comes out and in the next
        issue of The NannyMUD Times.

        Rules for the Quiz:

        For each correct answer 1 point will be given, so 10 points can be
        given to any player. Those that provide a fun or educational
        alternative solution to one of the questions might be given an
        additional point. Only 1 point per player can be earned this way,
        though, thus 11 points is the maximum amount per Quiz.
 

        The one that provides the first solution with 10 correct answers
        will be awarded a cash prize worth 2000 coins. Plus, the top scorer
        at The NannyMUD Times next deadline (end of May) will receive a cash
        prize worth 3000 coins.

        Mail your solutions to Hrodlauf.

        Good luck.


                     -------- Quiz number two -----------


    1..In what area can you get your ears cut off, if you are mean to a
       certain monster?

    A) Dref's
    B) Orpheus'
    C) In the druid guildhall, now play nicely with your owl!


 
    2..What highly useful command are given to those that wed in nanny?
 
    A) Beep partner, this is the reason why so many married players have
       red well-beeped noses.
    B) Toggle mudsex, this forbids the use of some of the dirtier feelings
       on anyone but your partner.
    C) Be someone, as someone, the wedded people gets to shout their love
       to the world in a more discrete way.


    3..Among other things, what doesn't Harry like?

    A) He doesn't like small dogs that sound and look like cats.
    B) He doesn't like wizards without an open area.
    C) He doesn't like snow.


    4..What goes for all the items in Catwoman's shop?

    A) They are wacky and wild.
    B) They wear fur and yellow feathers and does great duck impersonations.
       All of them has also featured in several of nannymud's talkshows
 
       and done very well.
    C) Anyone who touches them gets the plague, finally you know what those
       shouts are about.


    5..Does Armageddon have any family?

    A) Yes, Little Geddon, Armageddon's younger brother.
    B) No, he had a wife for a while but Armageddons way of proclaiming that
       the end, from time to time, was near killed off the romance and she
       ran away with the shopkeeper from the main village.
    C) No, although he has been seen in company with the whiterobed priest.


    6..What is the name of the machine nanny is run on?

    A) Pandora, don't try to open it.
    B) Triffie.
    C) Olga, great baby name by the way.


    7..What does adp usually mean in Nanny?
 

    A) Apprentice Daemon Prince.
    B) Assasins Dagger Please, often heard on the knightline.
    C) Advanced Desillusional Points, given mostly to old wizzes


    8..Who was toastmaster during the NannyMuds 10th anniversary dinner?

    A) Mats.
    B) Gurk.
    C) Taren.


    9..What colour is the Dark Guild homepage?

    A) O my god, now your screen is broken!
    B) Black, now there is a surprise.
    C) Purple background with neon green text and photos of pink crocodiles
       and ducks.


   10..What is the name of the pub in Blanka's newbie area?
 

    A) Tavern Of The Wasted Wizard, couldd I chave anothther Dwichbar pleasch?
    B) The Newbiepub, we need to start filling them early.
    C) The Stonepub, can I get this drink on the rocks please?

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 18   --



        Puzzles. You thought you could live without them, but we know
        you can't. Be the first to mail a correct solution to Dunstan
        on any of the puzzles and you will be the winner of a neat cash
        prize. Be sure that the header of the mail refers to the puzzle
        solved.
       

        - 1 -

        The beginning of eternity
        The end of time and space
        The beginning of every end,
        And the end of every place.

        What am I?


        Cash Prize:    500 coins.

 
        - 2 -

        Dagoth had a party at his house yesterday.
        Everybody shook hands with everybody once.
        The total number of handshakes that were made were 136.
        How many people attended the party?


        Cash Prize:    500 coins.


        - 3 -

        In the shop I found an item that costs 1 coin for five,
        2 coins for twenty, and 3 coins for six hundred.

        What is it?


        Cash Prize:   1000 coins.

 

        - 4 -

        A rider comes into Greenwich, England at noon on Monday.
        He stays for exactly 72 hours, and leaves again at noon on Friday.

        How is this possible?


        Cash Prize:   2000 coins.


        - 5 -

        Room hunt.  Find the shortest route, measured in rooms travelled,
        to church from the room shown below.  Solutions that include teleport
        spells or any other spells that enhance movement are not valid.


 Over the pile of broken bottles on the counter the snotty bartender is busy
 serving watered out beer. As you lean on the drool and beer-stained counter
 you wonder why someone has bothered putting up the spitoon beside you. The
 
 decomposing carcass of a dog competes with the spitoon for the attention of
 the flies. A handpainted brown sign can be seen on the wall.
   There are four obvious exits: east, north, south and southeast.


        Cash prize:   5000 coins.


        Happy hunting.




---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 19   --



                 "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

                     -- Dan Quayle, former US Vice-President.
 

        Erm, very, very wise words, indeed. It is hard not to disagree on that
        one. However, I hope that The NannyMUD Times will achieve more success
        than Mr. Quayle eventually had. And, as for success -- It is probably
        hard to measure the success of a MUD paper, but I hope you liked what
        you (hopefully) read on the previous pages. If you enjoyed it, well,
        then that is success enough for me.

        At first, after having taken on the job as Editor, I never thought it
        would be as time consuming as it is. Editing articles is no problem at
        all. However, getting ideas and turning them into something to read for
        you takes up quite a lot of time. Doing all that alone would make it
        impossible to get the paper out. So, while I remember, I might as well
        give away another round of Thank you's. As mentioned in the intro-
        duction on page 2 the paper would not be available to you, if it had
 
        not been for the staff working hard on writing articles. Now, there are
        a few other persons I'd like to thank as well. They are not members of
        the staff, but they have been kind enough to help out in some way or
        another, from putting time aside for interviews, contributing material
        to encouragement. So thank you, Hrodlauf, Lourdes, Leclerk, Valentine,
        Frot, Gurk, and anyone I might have forgotten -- You know who you are.
        You may wonder why I spend time and space on thanking these people, but
        as mentioned above it has been no easy job getting this paper out, so
        any help has been much appreciated -- And it will be in the future.

        Anyway, the whole point of my long ramble is: Contributions. The
        NannyMUD Times will not survive long without contributions from you
        people. Although we currently are 6 people working on the paper, we
        still need fresh ideas and new material, and they can only come from
        one person. You. If you have an idea you think we can turn into an
        article, tell us. If you have a log you think people might find funny,
        mail us. You wrote an article you want us to print? Send it all to us,
        and we will have a look at it. The NannyMUD Times exists for you, so
        in order to be succesful in getting future issues out we need
        contributions from you.

        Till next time...


                                                       //Dunstan


        >
> read page 20
But there are less pages than that!