The NannyMUD Times issue 1998 May.

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 1    ---
 
 A Montana man who received a traffic ticket found that a computer
 error resulted in it being listed in the local newspaper as a
 conviction for deviate sexual contact. Cody Johnston received a $195
 ticket for a commercial trucking weight violation. But when his
 parents read the High County Independent Press, they read about the
 sex charge, which covers homosexual acts and bestiality. "It was bad,"
 Johnston said. "You can imagine what was going through their minds,
 and of course, they didn't believe me." Johnston said his parents, his
 wife, and his sister all urged him to get treatment and claimed he was
 in denial. "I've heard every sheep joke you can imagine," Johnston
 said. He filed suit last week against the newspaper and the Gallatin
 County Justice Court, which produced the errant report. A spokeswoman
 for the court said she was unable to comment on the case because of
 the pending lawsuit.
 
 Welcome to the much-delayed issue of the Times, which has been plagued by
 deviate sexual contact as well.  Careful not to get your hands dirty.
 
  (1) Index
     This page.  You should know that by now.
  (2) Announcements
     A summary of the announcements over the past few months.
  (3) Interview #1
     A brief interview with Vulcan about his hopes, dreams, and aspirations.
     Or maybe he and Lonewolf just spent the time chugging brewskis and
     leering at women.  Which do you think is more accurate?
  (4) Interview #2
     An even briefer interview with Aphextwin.  This is about his guild,
     honestly.  Don't believe the claims of deviate sexual contact with
     Cthulhu.  Lies, filthy lies.
  (5) Classifieds
     A pair of announcements from mortals.  Read them, do it.
  (6) Playerquestion
     A simple and straightforward question which received more responses than
     expected.
  (7) Pklog
     Yeah, one of these again.
  ( Weddings
     This too.  Some of you are too lazy to go to the whiterobed priest and
     type 'married'.  Here's looking at you, kid.
  (9) Area review
     Brujah reviewed Gurk's area for this issue.
 (10) Party review
     Gurk reviewed the NannyMUD's 8th birthday celebration.  Bear in mind he
     gets drunk easily.
 (11) Translations of the village church
     Courtesy of Leclerk, that snygg of the snygg.
 (12) How to start your own mud
     Written by Brom, so you know it's good.
 (13) Puzzles
     A shameful confession and something for next month - this page is where
     all of the good stuff is.
 (14) Recipe #1
     Courtesy of Marthastwrt, Nanny's resident cook.  They're good, try them.
 (15) Recipe #2
     Courtest of Joy, filling in for Marthastwrt, who went insane from waiting
     for the paper.
 (16) Beryllium's log
     A rather recent log of his drunken binge.  These things seem to happen
     right before the papers are published.  Is it fate, or is it an
     incentive to have everyone in the mud laugh at the drunk?
     Thank Brujah for her quick-witted logging of this conversation.
 (17) Defender's Quiz
     From an anonymous source -- do you have what it takes to defend Nanny?
 (18) Follow-up to the quiz
     Score yourself here.
 (19) Parting tripe
     The name says it all.
 
     A reading from the Book of Armaments, Chapter 4, Verses 16 to 20:
     Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch,
     saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine
     enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy."  And the people did rejoice
     and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and
     fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ... Now did the
     Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin.  Then thou must count
     to three.  Three shall be the number of the counting and the
     number of the counting shall be three.  Four shalt thou not count,
     neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth
     to three.  Five is right out.  Once the number three, being the
     number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy
     Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in
     my sight, shall snuff it."
 
     Amen, daddy-o.
 


---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 2    ---
 
 The past few months have had their fill of announcements from the admin.
 For those of you who rely on this newspaper for their news of the mud, or
 who need a reminder, or who just look at this page as a way of filling out
 the paper, here's something for you.
 
 Bixby's area was reopened back in early February, but rumor has it that
 Westport has been appearing and disappearing frequently lately.
 
 Quant's area was also reopened, this time under the care of Gaia.
 Unfortunately, the dozen or so kills with 5k in treasure each haven't
 reappeared.
 
 Banshee added a good deal of booklets to the Tourist Information Service,
 much to the delight of players searching for that elusive area or for that

 one extra quest point.
 
 Reece and Andromeda both opened new areas near the south coast, thus proving
 themselves both more diligent and more motivated than the editor of this
 newspaper.
 
 NannyMUD celebrated its eighth birthday!  A good deal of announcements were
posted regarding how to register for the party and repeated warnings were
 given about the last day possible to do so.  The only correspondent the
 NannyMUD Times managed to send to the party proceeded to become stinking
 drunk. (See Gurk's review later in the paper.)
 
 The Lepers guild reopened, also near the south coast.  See Vulcan's
 interview later in the paper for more information.
 
 Dannoc's area was thought to have been eaten by a jellymonster, but it was
 later determined that Dnnoac's area was eaten, not Dannoc's.
 
 Silencer was demoted forever due to lack of common sense.  The NannyMUD
 Times heartily regrets his departure, and looks forward to the next person
 to fill in the role previously held by both Silencer and Roland.  Everyone
 needs someone to be crude, vulgar, and derogatory to them.
 
 Agora's area was closed due to an earthquake, and the rubble has not been
 cleared.
 
 NannyMUD was down for a short period of time in the middle of March due to
 a scheduled power outage in some of the central buildings at the University.
 This was a change from the ordinary reasons, such as orcs eating the magical
 flow to the mud.  The NannyMUD Times heartily applauds the efforts of the
 Swedish government to remove the presence of orcs from its soil.
 
 Dagoth's area reappeared as well, and has remained a popular location of
 knights looking for experience and alignment, and the bane of chefs, who
 have yet to learn to cook melniboneans.
 
 Themaster and Telo were banished for multiplaying, as were Carbon and Trotix
 and Nil and Qriz.
 
 The Kittens guild was mildly revamped in order to prevent invasion by
 certain Chaos Simyarin, who were informing the mud of their imminent
 superiority.
 
 Alkis was also banished permanently for repeated harassment.
 
 Vulcan was promoted to highwizard.  See the interview later in the paper.
 
 The orc camp moved from Mordor's forest to a small island far from the
 mainland.  Go visit them, by order of the admin.
 
 Valhall opened an area consisting of a sleeping giant in the meadows east
 of Lars town.
 
 The Cthulhu guild has been opened in Aphextwin's area.  In expectation of
 Cthulhu's imminent return, the NannyMUD Times is eager to inform the Great
 Old One of their continual support of his goal of world domination.
 
 And an old version of NannyMUD is up for a while this year as well.
 The year is 1991 and the name of the place is estragon 2000.
 
 
 
 Happy Birthday, NannyMUD.
 

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 3    ---
**  Hello, this is the NannyMUD Times. We're here with Vulcan, guild head
    of Lepers and all-around nice guy.
 
Vulcan grins evilly.
 
**  What can you tell us about the Lepers guild?
 
Vulcan says: It's an old guild, made by Avis way back. It was closed due to
             lack of maintenance and several serious bugs. I got the chance to
             recode the guild late last fall and took it.
 
**  What were those serious bugs?
 
Vulcan says: I don't know exactly what was bugging. Better ask Avis about
             that.
 
**  Why did you take the chance to recode it?
 
Vulcan says: I felt like coding a guild then, but lacked the inspiration to
             create a whole new guild. Recoding Lepers was a story served on a

             plate, and all I had to do was to recode it all. Suited me
             perfectly.
**  Had you played in the old Lepers guild before it was closed?
 
Vulcan shakes his head.
Vulcan says: I observed them as mortal, but never played them.
 
**  Did you add anything new to the guild, or just fix bugs and update old
    code to new standards?
 
Vulcan says: A couple of new things were added, but they aren't very
             significant. The old code isn't used at all, it's all new and
             fresh.
Vulcan says: Some inspiration was taken from Xantrax's attempt to recode the
             guild.
Vulcan says: But of Avis' original code I haven't seen anything.
 
**  What do you think about the sentiment that Lepers is nothing but a pk
    guild?
 
Vulcan says: I don't agree with that. In fact some powers work better against
             monsters than players.
Vulcan says: The Lepers seem to PK in numbers, and that's where their strength
             lies.
Vulcan says: The rumour that it is a Pk guild may also come from that it's
             very hard to advance in, and many players grow tired of playing
             it and decide to join an easier guild.
 
**  And onto a different topic - what's your history on Nanny?
 
Vulcan says: I first started playing Nanny about... hmm... 2.5 years ago.
Vulcan says: At first I had no desire to become a wizard, just to play for fun.
Vulcan says: but later on I got interested in wizardhood and created a new
             character which became a wizard on let's see... June 3 1996.
Vulcan says: I was a prophet was mortal, good guild. May it rest in peace.
 
**  What projects have you worked on since you wizzed?
 
Vulcan says: At first I created an area, which is quite small, and which I have
             intended to recode for soon 2 years.
Vulcan says: And I will, trust me
Vulcan says: Early 1997 I was offered the chance to recode Mthead's area. His
             area is not very large on the surface, but enormous if you look
             behind the curtain. That took me a couple of months.
Vulcan says: I also added a quest to his area which originates from some of his
             old ideas, and after some conversation with Mthead himself.
Vulcan says: After that I created a club together with Kairi, which is called
             The Legion. It's a club for mortals only, and the mortals
             themselves decides who will be the next member through a voting
             system.
Vulcan says: The only 2 wizards in the club have no voting rights.
Vulcan says: And last fall I started the Leper project, which we discussed
             earlier.
 
**  Are there any projects that you're currently working on?
 
Vulcan says: Right now I'm (again) refreshing some of the code in Mthead's area
             so that it will be smooth enough to run nicely without much
             supervision. After that I plan to revise The Legion, add a couple
             of new features.
Vulcan says: And after that I think it's time for my own area
 
**  What about long-term plans?  A second guild or quest?
Vulcan says: A quest yes, I've been thinking of one for a long time, and I
             think I'll realize it when I get working on expanding my area.
             I've had thoughts about a second guild... but we'll see what
             happens there.
Vulcan says: There are so many guilds right now that I fear another one may be
             missed in the crowd
 
**  Recently you were promoted to highwizard.  What are your feelings on
    that?
 
Vulcan says: Before I was asked if I wanted to become one, I was sort of at
             peace with the status quo, but as the question came up, I thought
             it would be fun and took the chance, and it is fun
 
**  Are you being groomed as a replacement for someone, or did the admin at
    the time think that another helping hand would be useful?
 
Vulcan says: I believe the admin was looking for another "helping hand" from a
             another timezone than Sweden. Currently, only Beldin and I are
             non-local admins (correct me if I'm mistaken). The game is running
             24 hours a day, and it's better to have the admins from more than
             one place.
 
 
**  That's all that I have. Any parting comments?
 
Vulcan thinks carefully.
Vulcan says: Not that I can think of right now.
 
**  Thanks for your time.

>
> read page 4
You read page 4 in your newspaper.

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 4    ---
**  Hello, this is the NannyMUD Times, here with Aphextwin, guild head of
    the Cult of Cthulhu.
 
Aphextwin says: Hi!
 
**  To start off, what can you tell us about your guild?
 
Aphextwin says: It's basically a religious cult, worshipping the great Old One
                Cthulhu. They are skilled magic users, but do know how to
                fight.
 
**  Where did you get the idea for the guild?
 
Aphextwin says: I've been into the Cthulhu Mythos stories by HP Lovecraft for
                a while. When the time came for me to code my area, I decided
                to make it in that theme. The guild's idea was born after my
                area was opened by Eleanor and myself.
 
**  What sort of powers does the guild have?
 
Aphextwin says: The members of the cult get their powers from the Mythos,
                knowledge left on Nanny by the Old Ones. The knowledge of the
                Mythos enables the members to learn a lot of different spells.
 
**  Such as?
 
Aphextwin says: The Mythos is evil in its nature. Members can call and bind
                creatures from other planes to make them phase beteen
                different dimensions, disappear into mists. They can also
                attack foes in a lot of different ways. At higher ranks, the
                Mythos grants the members protective powers.
 
**  Do the members pick the spells that they learn, like in Simyarin?
 
Aphextwin says: No, they learn a spell for each guild rank they gain. all
                members learn spells in the same order.
 
**  What are the drawbacks of being a member?
 
Aphextwin says: The main drawback is sanity. When using the Mythos, your sanity
                will be affected. Too heavy usage of your powers will drive
                you insane, and that is not very nice.
 
**  What happens if you go insane?
 
Aphextwin says: Lots of things. You will fight worse, you will drop stuff, you
                will lose hp and so on...
 
**  Where can someone find the guild?
 
Aphextwin says: the guild mansion is found in my area, very close to Joseph
                Curwen's farm.
 
**  Apart from the guild, are there any projects that you're working on
    now?
 
Aphextwin says: Hrrmm... MUD-wise the guild is about it right now. My area
                has been open long enuogh not to demand any more than monthly
                maintainence. I have no big plans for my future in Nanny but
                to eliminate as many bugs as possible from the guild, and
                make it even more fun to play.
 
**  And the last question; who would win in a wrestling cage match, Lars or
    Cthulhu, and why?
 
Aphextwin says: Hehe, that's a tuff one. Cthulhu is kinda stiff I reckon, he's
                been in his grave a couple of million years. I know very little
                about Lars actually, but he must have A LOT of gold for heal
                when you think of his busy monks.  I guess they will keep
                fighting until "the stars are right" and then Cthulhu will
                demolish him into a bloody pulp.
 
**  Thanks for your time.
 
 
>
> read page 5
You read page 5 in your newspaper.

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 5    ---
 
 The following are announcements by mortals on the mud.
 
 
 hi readers,
 hope you remember me when this finally comes out
 i will have long retired by the time this is read
 so all i want to say is have a nice life and i hope i
 helped out the most of you while i was around
 there is a chance of my return in '99 but dont hold your breath
 cheerio and have a nice life(kipdog)
 
 --- The above written by: Kipdog ------------------------------------------
 
 A note for the classifieds
 If Mudparties interest you, and you can't get to the one in Sweden....
 There's going to be a mudparty in the Midwest, USA, Minneapolis in fact.
 We're still casting about for a place to hold it, but it looks like around
 the weekend of June 20th, so start asking for time off work.
 
 Last year's party in Madison Wisconsin had a good turn out about 20 people,
 and this year we're getting reinforcement from the south.
 
 The current idea is renting a cabin, outside of the cities, so we can not*
 indispose anyone willing to let us into their homes (thanks Gabrielle!)
 
 If interested please mail Brujah, who is NOT in charge of this, but a
 willing messanger to the busy folks who are.
 
 --- The above written by: Brujah ------------------------------------------
 
>

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 6    ---
 
   The following is a poll for the NannyMUD Times.  Who would
   win in a knock-down drag-out fight, Cthulhu and his cultists or Lars
   and his monks?
 
Savannah tells you: Neither, Probably Saxy would win.
Knaster tells you: With or without rules?
Sarcotome tells you: ever thinking of having not so obvious questions?
September tells you:
Predator replies to you: explain what you mean with a drag-out fight
Drakul replies to you: Cthulhu and his cultists!? ofc! stupid question
Mats tells you: Me and my followers
Obelix replies to you: Cthulhu ofc
Clyde tells you: monks anyday:)
Aishiteru tells you: probably the cultists
Harmony tells you: Knights ofc, after those 2 guilds killed each other.
Stalker replies to you: i dont know what bs powers cthulu's have
Pody replies to you: Cthulhu hands down!
Sahip replies to you: The monks ofc
[-Druids-] Albeit tells you: Chtulu sounds evil. My money is on them
Aphextwin tells you: Cthulhu Fhtagn!
Bucco tells you: don't know much about them, but Lars would probably win
Keldo tells you: Lars and his monks are far better, of course.
Koff tells you: Can I win a nice prize? I'd like a mermaid please.
Daddy tells you: I don't care, aslong as there are much blood...
[Simyarin] Narya tells you: I think Lars could just erase the whole mud, right?
           I mean, not that I'm dissing Cthulhu here or anything, but hey, Lars
           has his finger on the button, right?
Ydor tells you: Lars and his Monks
[-Druids-] Retroman tells you: hmm...my bet is on Cthulhu...
Diego replies to you: Lars of course....bad guys never win
Thaadd tells you: Cthulhu! Evil will triumph!
Tofoo tells you: Probably Cthulhu if Lovecraft were logged on.
Savannah tells you: You do know she is the one, the only, the best?
Maddog tells you: don't know guessing lars?
Pern replies to you: Cthulhu
Quark tells you: Chtulu ofcourse!!!
Vladim tells you: *grunt* ~ 'Monks ofc, since Cthulhu is a stupid fuck...'
Sarcotome replies to you: Celulose is out yeh know?
Barbarella tells you: patch all the monks/cultists pk and let's find out.
Zath replies to you: Lar's monks would win because they spend all their time
     wondering around in dresses anyway. If Lar's didn't 'justify' them wearing
     dresses as so called robes people would be forever comparing them to
     Transvestites. Add in the lumberjack club oh so many are in, and you've
     got bra and suspender wearing 'people' who claim to be wearing 'robes'
     *Don't you just love long answers in your times? PS Hi everyone I'm doing
     this for you!*
Mami tells you: hmm.... if I answer.. hmm.. I would love the same thing as
     Koff.. I'd like a nice mermaid too.. or rather be one.. =)
Sinue tells you: Lars ofc, since he is a capitalist
Zath tells you: Lar's monks would have the added power of dress wearing in a
     drag fight but ultimatly they might fail due tobeing too 'drag like'.
     Wearing womens clothing all the time does get to them, I'm afraid to say
     that with their already limited fighiting skills of using their handbag,
     they won't stand much of a chance anyway. Didn't the others mortals
     realise that the monk's so called 'pouch' was in fact their handbag which
     they must always carry around with them at all times. *In case they forget
     their make up* So next time you a monk ask him/her/it "you hard were's
     your pouch" instead of the classic "your hard where's your handbag" as
     this might upset up.
Zath tells you: In the white corner weighting in at a limited 8 stone it's
     ..... the monks! And in the red corner weighing at an insane 15 stone it's
     .... Cthulhu. It's a very exciting fight tonight ladies gentlemen and
     things. Tonight we have Lars making an appearance as ref. *Ding* "Seconds
     out round one" says Lars. The excitement is building as a monk whips out
     his handbag er sorry pouch from under his dress, ack 'robe', what's he
     going to do with that? Oh no the monk is slapping his opponent with it. Oh
     no the poor Cthulu member is stunned he doesn't know what to do. Oh yes he
     does he's on the floor moaning is it his sanity returning or was that blow
     from the monk just too much? Here we have lars going in to break up the
     fight as the monk starts throwing herbs on the poor stunned Cthulu member.
     Doesn't this monk he shouldn't heal his enemies? But it's not having any
     affect the Cthulu member is rolling around the floor in fits of sanity.
     *Ding* There goes the bell the fight is over ladies gentlemen and things.
     The judges have ruled that both guilds must go away and try to cope with
     the mud on their own.
Zath tells you: Cthulhu members wait for the "glorious days when the stars
     will be right, Great Cthulhu will rise and life as we know it will end"
     "To be a monk is also quite demanding. In this guild you use your brain,
     not your brawn. Monks are good healers." These are quotes taken from
     help guild page. Is anyone noticing what I'm noticing? Cthulhu members
     spend time waiting and listen to voices in their heads. Coincodently so
     do Monk members. Have you ever wondered why the monks go around chanting
     their strange chants? Why of course it's to satisfy their 'great god'
     Lars. The monks can also be found wondering around the mysts of nanny
     checking out the stars, usually that's the only thing keeping them sane
     as they heal people. Cthulhu members go around trying not to be sane but
     they too wonder around alot just like the monks. Could it be that there
     is a conspiracy? #The truth is out there Mulder.... er wrong reality must
     be a Cthulhu member's insanty there.# Are the wizards and God here out to
     form a new Cthulhu/Monk alliance? Well we see a newly merged Monk/Cthulhu
     guild, where the members going around sacrificing monk to Cthulhu to stay
     semi sane/insane? Will it's new members go around listen to more than the
     usual bunch of voices in their heads? Well the Monk Mass be combined with
     the Cthulhu 'dig up your own date' ceramony? If there is no such
     combination of guilds would the mud actually notice a difference between
     the Cthulhu members and the Monk members? Answer: Probably not the
     'average' mudder would still here people chanting about all sorts of
     things while at the same time both members talking waffle.
 
 
 
  Eleven for Cthulhu, eleven for Lars -- unfortunately Mats has declared
  the poll null and void unless he wins.
 
 
 
 
>
> read page 7
You read page 7 in your newspaper.

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 7    ---
 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Village green <w e n s>.
Havic the mighty Bloodthirster (evil).
Defiance the Daemon Prince of Khorne (nice).
Spanky the pandemic vessel (nasty).
Tiana Tilondo-im-Simyar (nice).
Abbot the Daemon Prince of Khorne (good).
Hagen the dark seer (hellfire).
Hrafnur the Grand Master (monastic).
Andra's hunting falcon.
Andra the Honourable Lady (good).
Salt the Muted Trumpeter Swan (nice).
Data the master of the animals (good).
A dead oak tree.
A lane leads south from here.
Defiance turns to attack Mkachan.
Spanky hacked a wound in Defiance.
** HP: 186/202   SP: 184/202
** Defiance is in good shape.
Defiance bloodthirstily rips little pieces from Your body.
** HP: 167/202   SP: 184/202
** Defiance is in good shape.
Defiance chopped a very deep wound in you.
** HP: 164/202   SP: 184/202
** Defiance is in good shape.
Defiance grazed you.
Havic missed Spanky.
Spanky pokes Defiance with her finger, channeling her deadly disease.
You are too busy to do that right now.
Havic missed Spanky.
Havic missed Spanky.
Havic slashed Spanky in the chest.
The swords sneaks its way trough the monsters armour.
You cut a deep bleeding wound in Defiance.
Spanky grazed Defiance.
** HP: 145/202   SP: 184/202
** Defiance is in fair shape.
Defiance chopped a very deep wound in you.
A big mystic mist grows up from the shield and blocks the blow.
Defiance missed you.
A big mystic mist grows up from the shield and blocks the blow.
Defiance missed you.
Defiance feels the effect of the disease.
You are too busy to do that right now.
** HP: 145/202   SP: 166/202
** Defiance is in poor shape.
You deliver your disease at Defiance.
{nasty}-{20897}-{Tox:15%|soak:0%|full:0%}
Abegail arrives.
You are too busy to do that right now.
{nasty}-{20897}-{Tox:15%|soak:0%|full:0%}
Abegail leaves east.
Defiance leaves west.
Havic leaves west.
Party: Experience points divided.
[PKersinfo] Mkachan just killed Defiance.
You are victorious!!!
[PKersinfo] From somewhere deep inside the temple you hear a voice saying:
Hail Mkachan!!!.
 
 
 Zoom.

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 8    ---
 
Jimlo was married to Ladyliss by Snafu Tue Feb  3 00:31:47 1998
Shagul was married to Bera by Bowen Tue Feb  3 18:56:07 1998
Nothel was married to Sheena by Nothel Thu Feb  5 02:52:16 1998
Tobin was married to Zandra by Jolrael Tue Feb 10 05:01:33 1998
Robin was married to Vion by Iver Wed Feb 11 14:10:50 1998
Sundaar was married to Whistler by Whistler Wed Feb 11 22:34:28 1998
Darkcry was married to Pollux by Pollux Thu Feb 12 02:42:32 1998
Mkachan was married to Twinks by Laurana Sat Feb 14 02:42:09 1998
Windle was married to Charliegirl by Melee Sun Feb 15 08:35:01 1998
Armegan was married to Tickle by Thumper Sun Feb 15 09:49:17 1998
Spankybutt was married to Jamie by Odd Mon Feb 16 13:30:05 1998

Talando was married to Marge by Orgalforxa Mon Feb 16 19:35:39 1998
Orcryst was married to Seego by Seego Wed Feb 18 01:31:36 1998
Iverjr was married to Rufey by Iver Wed Feb 18 10:50:09 1998
Smalt was married to Svamplover by Silencer Sun Feb 22 02:01:29 1998
Foxy was married to Iceberg by Reece Tue Feb 24 22:55:34 1998
Hotwetzeusa was married to Ender by Iver Thu Feb 26 16:55:34 1998
Raekwan was married to Diabolica by Iver Wed Mar  4 10:51:31 1998
Sabina was married to Zuss by Reece Wed Mar 11 23:52:23 1998
Lia was married to Mordon by Lys Sun Mar 15 21:47:45 1998
Mistress was married to Eolair by Asterix Mon Mar 23 19:26:28 1998
Madrass was married to Kudden by Moonchild Tue Mar 24 17:52:29 1998
Khoria was married to Tauvin by Snafu Thu Mar 26 00:09:36 1998
Mikaa was married to Sirian by Mikaa Wed Apr  8 18:54:47 1998
Joph was married to Silver by Fireblade Thu Apr  9 21:59:48 1998
Tyburn was married to Chicka by Gabe Mon Apr 13 16:40:29 1998
Gilthoniel was married to Kestrel by Gilthoniel Wed Apr 15 06:36:55 1998
Hellbender was married to Didi by Darkcry Thu Apr 16 16:29:26 1998
Iver was married to Helena by Iver Fri Apr 17 14:38:45 1998
Tirian was married to Uberglo by Nobody Sun Apr 19 23:22:07 1998
Linux was married to Call by Aphextwin Wed Apr 22 10:37:01 1998
Lupa was married to Parasite by Melee Fri Apr 24 09:13:19 1998
Decebal was married to Vixxen by April Fri Apr 24 13:38:25 1998
Elaida was married to Joule by Joule Sat Apr 25 23:45:45 1998
Brad was married to Elayne by Elayne Sun Apr 26 17:58:08 1998
Exiver was married to Tommyboy by Toth Tue Apr 28 18:21:29 1998
Toth was married to Akfour by Toth Tue Apr 28 18:28:22 1998
Narya was married to Lectral by Lectral Fri May  1 00:55:23 1998
Bubbabuzgut was married to Helmy by Nothel Fri May  1 20:46:13 1998
Radium was married to Haven by Xero Sat May  2 09:58:55 1998
 
 
 And a healthy amount of weddings we've had, and sympathies and subdued
 grins go out to all of those male players who unknowingly mudmarried
 another man.
 
 And a hesitant stare at Sundaar and Whistler, who apparently have confessed
 their long-hidden love for one another.

>
> read page 9
You read page 9 in your newspaper.

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 9    ---
 
 
        This issue's Times review subject is the area of the wizard Gurk.
Located "9s, enter ship, sail caerleon, out, 2e, north" on the island
of Caerleon, the area has approximately 200 rooms, and has two
quests, "The Quest for Supreme Good and Evil(50qp)", and "Help Sir
Guillotine (51qp)". This area is located directly by Maelstorm's and
Zarathos' areas, and it's a bit difficult at times to know where one area
ends, and another starts (unless you're a monk with that power, which ofc,
I am not).
        While Gurk's does not have a pub of it's own, there are other
assorted ways to heal there, one of the most popular being the Gurk Coin.
For convient killing service, it's quite close to the Wasted Wizard of

Maelstorm's area, which is located just south of Gurk's and east of the
harbour where the ship that takes you in is located. To counteract the
somewhat remote location, Maelstorm and Gurk managed to convince the admin
to allow them their own shop. 
        Oak trees can be grown there, for those of the Druid Guild.
Teleporting is currently fairly restricted, and Gurk himself
said that the many complaints have caused him to rethink this, and he WILL
change this before too long. 
     The kills in Gurk's area tend to require a fair amount of power, but
there are exception areas and monsters. The Druid Staff 'difficulty
estimate' is not very accurate; I, in one case, was told a monster was
easy, and with maxed stats and decent armour wimpied out at 45 hp/2 sp.
The monster was still only at poor shape.
    For those players who have restrictions on what they can kill by
alignment, there is a specific area known as the Woman/Fighter caves that
caters just to you. It's fairly often killed clean as it is, so I won't
add to this problem by giving specific directions. A hint is, it's NOT in
the castle proper, so explore the rest of the space. It's not too hard to
find, if you're not on brief mode, and both sides of the coin are offered.
(this area has also the sickest kill that I've found on the mud yet, in
three years of playing!)
     Most creatures don't autoattack and offer a fairly low degree of
interaction. Gurks area may lack kills for all levels, but where that
lacks, the descriptions and quests definitely make up the difference.
     In Gurks area, you can and should examine EVERYTHING, poke, prod,
push, and other wise mangle the inanimate objects around you. (just don't
get mad if once in a while something odd happens. (grin)
     On a last note, there are two things that Gurk, himself, suggested I
use to bait people into exploring his area. A very, very large treasure
located (to quote Gurk) "on a high place in the castle" exists,
if you feel like wading through rooms of kills (bring a party and split
it, IMHO, I attacked one of them, and was stomped), and a really nifty
weapon called the Bonker, which does just as it's name suggests, bonks the
crap out of your foes.
      A few quotes from people about this area
 
 Crono, Knight "More Gurklings! Make them swarm all over Nanny!"
 
 Marzipan, Chef "I like cooking the baby, My specialty is HUMANS!"
 
 Thorgar, Khorne "It has worthy kills for all ranks"
 
 Thank you, everyone who stood stood still long enough for me to bug them
on this subject. Crono, Marzipan and Thorgar for being quotable, and Gurk
for allowing me to pick his brains on his area (and allowing me to review
it in the first place).
 
 //Brujah
 
>
> read page 10
You read page 10 in your newspaper.

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 10   --
 
 (Editor's note: This page is unedited, as the intoxicated nature of Gurk
  adds to the atmosphere.)
 
 
NannyMUD 8 years, celebration party
 
Place: Linköping sweden
Date 17 mars 1998
 
 
 
I have to tell you from my point of view but I will also put in comments
from people and some of my notes, though, I cannot verify if my notes are
true or not since I have little or none recollection of taken these. /Gurk
 
--=: Preparty :=--
 
It started causally at the preparty at Leowons place, a few hours before
the real party began. I've checked with my notes and from what I can read it
says that follwing people were there: (In random order) Thargor, Leowon,
Taren, Whizz, Gwendolyn, Titleist, Nobody, Iceberg and me, Gurk.
If someone were there and not listed, its not my fault.
 
My notes says that Leowon drank 1 1/2 l icecream, but I also have a vauge
memory of helping him and along with Taren. The icecream tasted "maliboo"
for some reason. Below that note I see "The mixer spread icecream around the
kitchen" and "A girl cooked black things that smelled quite bad"
Further down I see "Leowon doesnt want any more booze, he wants a big cucumber"
 
I also find some scribbles that looks like "Taren is a really nice and happy
chap" and "Taren denies there are daemons in Khorne."
(Could be a typo there somewhere)
 
Thats all my (readable) notes from the preparty.
 
--=: Herrgarden :=--
 
Following people came: Gwendolyn, Brom, Taren, Banshee, Dwinbar, Leowon,
Thargor, Titleist, Padrone, Iceberg, Gurk, Meep, Azatoth, Mordor, Leclerk,
Charmangle, Tugh, Nib, Oriole, Whizz, Alexii, Nobody, Chrisp, Ahndregg.
I must say that it appears to be many wizards and very few mortals but
according to Taren, most of us were mortals anyway.
 
I had the fortune to sit together with Mats and Mordor and we discussed many
funny things during the evening, but I have no notes about it so I can't say
what we talked about, though I remember Mats telling us about how it all started
and it felt quite strange when he talked so causally about the days when
NannyMUD was created, a true god he is.
 
While eating, very good food btw, some people made some speaches and some were
singing and people laughed and were in a very good, relaxed mood.
People from Orebro bought us some booze, Mats got a can of spam.
 
Somewhere around the dessert my notes are getting more and more unreadable and
my memory of what happened is getting more blurry, and I can't help thinking of
Lonewolfs last tell to me before I quitted before the party:
"Hey Gurk, don't get too drunk!!"
 
 
Some spontane notes made by me and others from the party:
 
"Leclerk fell asleep and were leaning against Nobody"
 
"Charmangle would rather make a 10 minutes long distant-call than be logged
on 5 minutes on Nanny" with the comment "bullshit" next to it
 
"Dwinbar says there are too many MUD people around here"
 
"Padrone and Azatoth were actually very nice people too"
 
"Mats thinks it's too spammy around here" (Holding up a can of spam)
 
"Gwendolyn is real, he is sitting there!"
 
"I've touched Chrisp"
 
"Tugh touched Brom, in a naughty way"
 
"Gurk went into the wardrobe instead of the toilet"
 
"Whizz says: We need more party, now!"
 
"The whole place got completely silent when Jadea entered."
 
"Mordor says: I'm hungry"
 
"Nobody forgot his bankomat number (Help!)"
 
"Alexii says: This is the best MUDparty I've ever been at"
 
 
 
The rest of the notes are either various scetches, unreadable poems,
poems in foregin language (finnish, hmm), simply unreadable text
(got 3 pages of unreadable notes here) or material that is classified by
admin and others. (And Thargor, I really hope we didn't pretend to be reporters
when we talked with someone named "Johanna-goodlooking")
 
-= Afterparty =-
 
Kerish drank all that appeared to be intoxicating.
 
 
 
 
 
(The official list of attendees, provided by Taren, is:
  Mats
  Gwendolyn       
  Brom   
  Taren 
  Banshee
  Dwinbar
  Leowon         
  Thargor         
  Titleist       
  Padrone         
  Czygorwan       
  Iceberg         
  Gurk           
  Meep           
  Azatoth         
  Mordor         
  Leclerk         
  Charmangle     
  Tugh           
  Nib             
  Oriole         
  Whizz           
  Alexii         
  Nobody         
  Chrisp         
  Anhdregg       
)
 
 
>
> read page 11
You read page 11 in your newspaper.

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 11   --
 
 Courtesy of Leclerk and a translation program he found, we have the following
 versions of the description of the village church, translated from English
 into various languages and back again.
 
 
Original:
 
You are in the local village church.
There is a huge pit in the centre and a door in the west wall. There
is also a clock on the wall. This church has the service of reviving
ghosts. Dead people come to the church and pray. This is a holy place
and you feel safe here.
There is an exit south and a back door leads north.
 
 
English-French-English:
 
You are in the local church of village. There are an enormous well
in the center and a gate in the Western wall. There is also a clock
on the wall. This church has the service to restore backup computers.
The dead people come to the church and request. It is a holy place
and you smell in security here. There is an output of the south and
back wire of output of a gate of north.
 
 
English-German-English:
 
They are in the local village church. There is a very large pit in
the center and in a door in the west wall. There is also a master
clock on the wall. This church has the service of the again of
animating the spirit. Dead people come to the church and pray. This
is a holy workstation and you feels here safe. There is an output,
the south is and north lines the back door.
 
 
English-Italian-English:
 
You are in the local church of the village. There is an enormous sink
in the center and a hatch in the wall to the west. There is moreover
a clock on the wall. This church has the service to make to live again
the ghosts. Out of order people come to the church and pray. That is
a Saint place and thinks sure here. There are an escape of the south
and posterior cables of the hatch of the north.
 
 
English-Portuguese-English:
 
You are in the local church of the village. He has an enormous well
in the center and a door in the occidental wall. He also has a pulse
of detonation in the wall. This church has the service of reviving
ghosts. The inoperative peoples come to the church and pray. This
is a place holy and you feel insurance here. He has a south exit and
back linkings of a door nortes.
 
 
English-Spanish-English:
 
You are in the local church of the village. There is an enormous
hollow in the center and a door in the wall of the west. There is
also a clock in the wall. This church has the service to restore
ghosts. Dead people come to the church and request. This is a place
santo and you it feels surely here. There are an exit of the south
and later terminals of component of a door of the north.
 
 
Once again, the original:
 
You are in the local village church.
There is a huge pit in the centre and a door in the west wall. There
is also a clock on the wall. This church has the service of reviving
ghosts. Dead people come to the church and pray. This is a holy place
and you feel safe here.
There is an exit south and a back door leads north.
 
 
>
> read page 12
You read page 12 in your newspaper.

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 12   --
                             How to Become a God
 
                                     or
 
                          How to Grow Your Own MUD
 
 
 
First, you have to have a machine to run the game on, and a connection to the
internet. If you do not own those resources yourself, you MUST be sure that
the one who does allows you to run the game on/through his property. It is no
idea to try to sneak it by, it will be noted sooner or later.
 
A MUD can be run on an old 486DX25, with as little as 8Mb of RAM, and with a
connection no faster than a 28.8 modem, but that will then be a very small
MUD, and rather slow. Nevertheless, it can be done. Anything faster and
bigger will make it more pleasurable to use.
 
Now, when you have secured the basic resources needed, you must make up your
mind about what kind of MUD you wish to have. Ask yourself what you think is
important in the game, and then find a MUD family that has that. A few examples
of distinct styles are MUSH, DIKU, LPMUD, ABER and DUMII.
 
When you have selected the type of your MUD, you need to decide exactly what
driver you will use. (The driver is the program that keeps track of the
connections to the game, etc.) For example, in the LPMUD family, there are
implementations like NannyMOS, MUDOS, Amylaar, CD, DGD, etc. Read up on
them, check their availability, etc. There's quite some rumour-mongering
going on. People involved heavily with one kind of driver have a tendency to
believe everything else to be out-dated, and less advanced. Don't trust them
to know what they are talking about, make up your own mind.
 
Now, you have to pick a mud-lib. This is the part of the game with which the
players interacts: monsters, weapons, armours, flowers, etc. How many you
have to chose from depends on what driver you picked, but most drivers will
be able to handle at least a few, especially the old and infamous 2.4.5 lib.
 
Next, all you have to do is to compile the driver, and start the game. Of
course, you might have to modify both the driver and the lib to make them
work well (or at all) together. Then you will very soon find things you want
to change for the better in your lib (like, removing the security holes in
the infamous 2.4.5). It can be a wise thing to fix those before letting the
horde of players on.

Now you need players. Typically, the initial gang is you and your friends,
and the rest of the crowd is recruited from friends' friends, and by putting
up notes on the boards of other, already existing MUDs.
 
The players will, sooner or later, turn into wizards and some of them will
take part in building the MUD. With some luck, and persistance on your part,
the game can very well live for years to come. Your life will never be the
same again.
 
>
> read page 13
You read page 13 in your newspaper.

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 13   --
 
 Due to gross incompetence on the part of me, the puzzles for the last issue
 were misprinted.  In a shameful attempt to cover up my blunder, here is a
 new set.  Those who answered the puzzles (both the incorrect versions and
 those who suggested the correct versions, along with solutions) will be
 contacted and rewarded by an innocent secondcharacter, uninvolved with this
 scandal.
 
 
 While exploring the jungle three scientists get caught by a tribe of
 cannibals. Begging for mercy, they finally are granted one last chance
 to save their lives: Each of them is bound to a stake, so that one
 scientist can see the backs of the other two before him, the one in
 the middle can only see the back of the one in front, while the latter
 can't see anybody. They are now shown five colored feathers, among
 which there are three white ones and two black ones. They are then
 blindfolded and each of them is put one of the feathers into his hair.
 Finally they are taken off the blindfolds and posed the question to
 determine the color of their own feathers. If only one of them should
 be able to guess the correct color, all three of them would be
 released.
 Time passes... then the man bound to the foremost stake (who actually
 can't see anybody) correctly names the color of his own feather. What
 thoughts must have lead to his answer?
 
 Prize: 1000 coins.
 
 
 Given that McDonalds serves Chicken McNuggets in 6, 9, and 20 piece boxes,
 what is the largest number such that you cannot order any combination of
 the above to achieve exactly the amount you want?
 
 Prize: 1000 coins.
  Give a mathematical proof and receive another 1000 coins.
 
 
 Assume that a pregnancy has a 50/50 chance of being a boy/girl.  If women
 with two children were polled and asked if they had at least one boy, what
 are the odds that those who said "yes" had two boys?
 
 Prize: 1000 coins.
 
 
 The following is the roomhunt.  For those unfamiliar with the rules, the
 solution to this puzzle is the shortest possible path to this room without
 using teleportation or movement-enhancing items (like those classic
 seven-league boots.)
 
 
 This is a dark passage leading through the walls inside the
 castle. The air is hot and humid. The walls in this room look
 burnt and you can see piles and piles of remains from various
 beings on the ground.
   There is one obvious exit: south.
 
 Prize: 5000 coins.
 
 
>
> read page 14
You read page 14 in your newspaper.

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 14   --
 
It's a Good Thing
By Marthastwrt
 
On a recent trip to Newbieville to procure the ingredients of a fine
rabbit stew I found myself in possession of a great many fresh and
crunchy carrots. This windfall inspired me to revisit a recipe first
introduced to me by my good old friend Betty Crocker. With her talent
for baked goods known far and wide Betty is also less widly known to
believe the old adage "Waste not want not." Jeff Smith would be quite
proud. Blanka's Newbieville is a charming little village located
near the lovely Northern Cliffs.
 
Newbieville Carrot Cookies
 
1 cup mashed cooked carrots (about 4 medium)
3/4 cup sugar
1 cup shortening (part margarine or butter)
2 eggs
2 cups all-purpose* or whole wheat flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup shredded or flaked coconut
1/2 recipe Orange Butter Frosting
 
Heat oven to 400 degrees F. Mix carrots, sugar, shortening and eggs.
Stir in flour, baking bowder and salt. Stir in coconut.
 
Drop dough by teaspoonfulls about 2 inches apart onto ungreased cookie
sheet. Bake until almost no indentation remains when touched, about
8 minutes.
 
Immediately remove from cookie sheet; cool, frost with Orange Butter
Frosting. About 5 dozen cookies.
*If using self-rising flour, omit baking powder.
 
Orange Butter Frosting
 
3 cups powdered sugar
1/3 cup margarine or butter, softened
2 teaspoons grated orange peel
   About 2 tablespoons orange juice
 
Mix powered sugar, orange peel, and margarine. Stir in orange juice;
beat until frosting is smooth and of spreading consistency. If frosting
is too thick stir in a few drops of orange juice at a time untill smooth
and creamy. (note: Leftover frosting is nice on graham crackers)
 
Cookies make a wonderful gift. Line your gift box with waxed paper,
fill with cookies, making sure to add a layer of waxed paper between
each layer of cookies. Do not overfill the box as the cookies are
easily crushed and the frosting will be ruined. Wrap the box in crisp
bown paper and tie a nice raffia bow. I trimmed mine with cinnamon
sticks and dried orange slices for that wholesome country look. These
wonderful little cake-like cookies would tempt even the most
rambunctious of the Henderson children into becoming as sweet and mild
as a spring sunrise.
 
It's a Good Thing.
 
>
> read page 15
You read page 15 in your newspaper.

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 15   --
 
Marthastwrt is on vacation this April. In an official press release Ms.
Stwrt's representatives made the following statement: "The rumors that
Marthastwrt has been checked into the Brookline Psychiatric Hospital
for treatment of a saver obsessive compulsive disorder are completely
unfounded." Joy has kindly agreed to fill in for Martha in her absence.
 
Mud Party Recipe by Joy
 
What does any good MUD Party need besides beer? Why, Cheese dip of course.
and this is my favorite cheese dip which is great with Corn chips or
Tortilla chips.
 
1 2lb package of Velveeta cheese product
1/4 cup milk
1lb ground beef
1lb tube of your favorite flavor ground breakfast sausage
    (I like Jimmy Dean sage)
1 can condensed cream of mushroom soup
1 small jar salsa or pacante sauce (optional)
 
Scramble the ground beef and sasage together in a pan over medium high heat
until cooked through. Drain well and set aside. Cut cheese into chunks and
melt slowly in milk over low heat in a dutch oven or heavy stew pot. Stir
constantly to prevent scroching. When cheese is completely melted mix in
the can of condensed soup, salsa, and meat one at a time over low heat. Stir
and keep the heat low to prevent scorching. When hot and mixed well it's ready
to serve... The dip will set up if it gets too cool so keep it warm and
refrigerate any leftovers if you have them. (Leftovers heat up great in
the microwave.)
 
Well that's it. Take care.
 
~Joy

>
> read page 16
You read page 16 in your newspaper.

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 16   --
 
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: HYep!
[-Druids-] You told Beryllium: I guess I'm a wuss and keep it to the weekends
You softly kiss the palm of your hand and blow your kiss affectionately to
Beryllium. It lands directly on his mouth!
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: We have a day off tomorrowk
Bauhaus shouts: Ok, I've got fat fingers.  Does 'lush' work better?
Beryllium shouts: Tell me thw swedsih transklataipn of that and it  mights
                  work.
[-Druids-] You told Beryllium: laugh. friday morning's the day I have to be
                    out of the house and on the bus at 6:45 in the morning
                    ...to teach, fear. no hangover for me
Beryllium tells you: h0h0
You shout: Sure, if you tell me the sober translation of that!
Narya shouts: fyllo
You grin impishly.
translate fyllo
Means: fyllo
Bauhaus tells you: Translation of what?  Something I said?
Beryllium shouts: Copy it, and tell me the tstugsgff tomorrw oas and  Imgiht
                  tell yoau
You reply to Bauhaus: lush. he doesn't know what it means
Bauhaus tells you: Ah, missed that shout.
You shout: don't worry. This is all being logged. :}
Laine shouts: Nu har jag iallafall hittat nM-^Lgra #M-[%"#&"% kaniner att
              slM-^Lss med! *he, he*
You told Beryllium: C'mon. give me something good and amusing for my
                    "berydrunk.txt log!
[-Druids-] You told Beryllium: Anything?
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: yeah,
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: sometyhing liekl that <01:42:28>
[-Druids-] You told Beryllium: Whatcha drinking, and how much of it have you
                    had?
Paff shouts: Beryllium, sober up.. or throw up..
Precocious shouts: throwing up's messy
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: I have had 7 beers, 50cl of moonshine /50%
                           (atlars)( and some ozo oso? The greksish thingie
                           <01:43:39>
[-Druids-] You told Beryllium: ouzo? that shits potent!@
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: tastes tslike candy <01:44:36
[-Druids-] You told Beryllium: Yeah, which is just a joke, because it's
                    strong as all hell. (or at least it was when I had it,
                    a few years back. knocked me on my butt, but that doesn't
                    take much anymore)
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: IO twas imported from greece, some seriosxu
                           shit
[-Druids-] You told Beryllium: I'm becoming a a wuss, and 4 beers get's me
                    drunk.
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: 6 beers msrake my edrunk
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: Nu t I am major nopw
[-Druids-] You told Beryllium: Ok, next question Who are you drinking with?
                    (or are you drinking with nanny as a whole?)
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: I dont driank atm
You set your away string to: (smirk)
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: I Was drinkginh with Banankaka, Ylfa,
                           Lestatius and somet otehr fellasm from my school,
[-Druids-] You told Beryllium: Grin. let me see if I can think of some half
                    ass embarressing question that you'll regret tomarrow.
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: Hit it1!
[-Druids-] You told Beryllium: What?
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: HiT it!
[-Druids-] You told Beryllium: (laugh) Damn, I'm just not creative. Ok, hmm.
                    what person on the mud would you like to meet most irl?
[-Druids-] You told Beryllium: fallen out of your chair?\
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: no nono
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: I Dunno
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: I wanna meet Gab riellle, the only female
                           deeaht knight I knbow!
[-Druids-] You told Beryllium: Oh, come on....gotta be someone!
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: Ho wwas sehe? <
Beryllium tells you: yerahm from teh party with the dofg! Barkleyu!
[-Druids-] You told Beryllium: Hmm. Normal. wierd, but didn't look or act
                    like the pack of gamer's that she let into her house for
                    the mudparty.
[-Druids-] You told Beryllium: Damn, with all the typo's you're doing,
                    sweetie, careful not to dest anyone, or similar! (grin)
Beryllium tells you: I am a nceui pweson, I dont do that kinda shit!
[-Druids-] You told Beryllium: Hun, do you get hangovers? 'cause if you do,
                    it's going to be a hellish day tomarrow.
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: nodnononononiob ononononono <
[-Druids-] You told Beryllium: Grin. are you this amusing drunk in person?
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: I am the gunnuest person in the whols workld
                           when druink1
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: Drunk!
Beryllium shouts: S E X !
Quartz shouts: ...is something you'll never experience!
Reece shouts: G E N D E R !
Niro shouts: I C E C R E A M ?
Beryllium shouts: QWuarez I will zaxp ypuirt head ofgg!
You told Beryllium: Ok, another question Just a happy open ended one because
         I'm boring, and can't think of anything better. What would be your
         one wish, if you could have one now *(other then more wishes)
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: HJAving Pia hjere.
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: Ymy snuggle cuddly very close friwendd. =)
[-Druids-] You told Beryllium: ah...someone from sweden?
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: nodnmodnonodnodnmod
[-Druids-] You told Beryllium: (grin) would you dest me if I logged this and
                    put it inthe Times?
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: No= Y I wanty yo read it myuself
[-Druids-] You told Beryllium: I'll be funny. :} trust me. :}
Beryllium tells you: mail tme this stuff laters, ok=fgt <02:09
Beryllium tells you: do you kno ww whjat=
[-Druids-] You told Beryllium: what, dear?
Beryllium tells you:  Iam gouing to sleep now, you wanna know tham what I m
                hohoing yo dream anpbout?
[-Druids-] You told Beryllium: No, wanna share?
Beryllium tells you: sex se x se x se x sexs sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex
                sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex
                sex sex sex sex sex sex sex !
Beryllium shouts: S E X !
You softly kiss the palm of your hand and blow your kiss affectionately to
Beryllium. It lands directly on his right cheek!
Kadath shouts: D R U G S !
Romana shouts: yes please
Darion shouts: You miss it, right?
[-Druids-] Beryllium tells you: Maile me
[-Druids-] You told Beryllium: Laugh. 'night. um...dream well.
Reece shouts: S H O U T - C U R S E S !
Kalandra shouts: You cant miss what you have never had
Beryllium shouts: yeah!
Paff shouts: NO sex with underages Berylliu,.. you know it is 16 nowdays..
Kadath shouts: R I S ! ( R E E C E )
Darion shouts: *hf* kalandra
Beryllium shouts: Ni suger! (means tou suck in swedish=
Reece shouts: And who is Toy?
Reece shouts: Tou...
Laine shouts: Jag vet Bery gullet, ge mig lite mer tid att jobba pM-^L det!
              *g*
 
 
 In the opinion of the NannyMUD Times editorial staff, Beryllium is a far
 more entertaining drunk than Firelight, who was February's official
 drunkard.
 
 
>
> read page 17
You read page 17 in your newspaper.

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 17   --
 
Test yourself - Defending the realm
 
This small test will show you how well you would do as a
Defender of Camelot, the knight playerkillers. Just answer
the questions, and then see how many points you got. When
you have added your different points you can check your score,
and you will get to know your playing style as a Defender.
Since you are the only judge, you must try to answer sincerely,
according to what you really would have done, in order to get an
accurate evaluation of your performance.
 
1. What is the reason that you became a Defender?
 
A) You have always been a knight, and thought it was the best
way to protect the guild from the evil enemies. You have never
playerkilled before.

 
B) You think playerkilling is fun, and since knights have the best
pk powers you made a knight char.
 
C) All the playerkillers you know well are knights, and since you
only pk in a big party you had no choice.
 
 
2. You are on with a non-pk character. You type "who" to see what
playerkillers are on. On what one of the following alternatives
would you log on your Defender?
 
A) Three enemies are on, no Defenders.
 
B) No enemies are on, no Defenders.
 
C) Two enemies are on, three Defenders.
 
 
3. You are playing when two enemy druids come. They clearly want to
fight you. What do you do?
 
A) You fight them and hope you can rid the realm of evil scum.
 
B) You stand in church until they tire and log out.
 
C) You look for players with Defender-chars, and ask all of them to
log on and help you.
 
 
4. You stand in church, with two lepers at green waiting for you. On
the knight line a squire asks for help to get up from the mud in Brom's
area. No other knight logged on knows where it is, or how to help the
squire. You know. What do you do?
 
A) Pretend you don't know and wait in church until the lepers log out.
 
B) Run off to help the poor squire in distress before the attack comes.
 
C) You were so busy asking for help from people with Defender-chars
you didn't even see the plea for help.
 
 
5. You have just got your butt kicked by a party of evil lepers. What
do you do?
 
A) Log on your pk wiz and stand at green with a BS weapon.
 
B) Go to guild, withdraw a new set of eq, and go get killed again just
to prove how knightly you are.
 
C) You log out, but swear to yourself you will beat them next time.
 
 
6. Which one of the following fights would you most likely be involved in?
 
A) You against three druids.
 
B) You and another Defender against three druids.
 
C) You, three more Defenders, one rank 20 khorne, one druid and two
monks versus three druids.
 
 
7. You're the only Defender on, and no enemies are in sight. What
would you prefer of the following alternatives?
 
A) You would be happy if no enemies logged on, so you wouldn't
have to stand in church all day.
 
B) You would be happy if a couple of enemies logged on so you
could have a good fight.
 
C) You would be happy if an enemy druid and three or four more
Defenders logged on, so you could have a good fight.
 
 
8. You fight some evil enemies and die. What would you do?
 
A) Log out, and the next day you start to build your skills up again
to get revenge.
 
B) That could not happen, since you only fight level 12 darks or players
with powers equal to or lower than theirs.
 
C) Whine for an hour on all lines available about the bad lag you had.
 
 
9. You are exploring a distant area when suddenly an enemy druid enters
the room. What do you do?
 
A) Stand still and fight the evil enemy.
 
B) Press your client alias to get back to church where you idle until
the enemy has quit.
 
C) Quit, log on, go to shareroom and withdraw a new set of eq, and go
to the church to idle until your Defender friends log on.
 
 
10. You are standing in the church hiding from two enemy lepers when
suddenly Arthur screams about an attack. What do you do?
 
A) Run to Camelot, hope you survive, and then fight the evil monsters.
 
B) Go linkdead, then explain to an RT that your computer crashed.
 
C) That couldn't happen to you, since you never play when there's
risk for an attack.
 
 
11. When you fight enemies, where would it most likely take place?
 
A) What, you can't fight in the church, can you?
 
B) Anywhere in the mud, it depends on where the enemies are when
you start to hunt them.
 
C) Village green, and sometimes they hunt you when you run south to
the guild.
 
 
12. An evil enemy logs on, one that you know is good at pk, and has
killed a bunch of Defenders before. What do you do?
 
A) Log out, suddenly remembering your Simyarin second needed qp.
 
B) Wait in church until three or four Defenders log on.
 
C) Fight to the best of your ability, hoping to kill this enemy and
avenge your fellow knights.
 
 
13. When you play your Defender char, what eq do you use?
 
A) I play my other chars for a couple of hours to get unique
eq all over, plus some full wand cases and a few healing potions.
 
B) I grab whatever eq is in the shareroom to start with, and then
I go kill some monsters to get better.
 
C) A mad spanker, a leather whip, black leather panties, a black
leather bra and a studded black leather collar.
 
 
14. An evil enemy from the Khorne guild that killed a few Defenders
has died while fighting a monster. He's trying to get his ranks back.
What do you do?
 
A) Wait until he is high rank enough to attack knights.
 
B) Wait until he is at least rank 15, so he has got powers to defend
himself.
 
C) Make parties of at least four Defenders that hunt him while he still
doesn't have any powers to fight back with.
 
 
15. You are fighting an evil druid when a monk asks you if you want
her to heal you. What do you think?
 
A) Great, with a monk that heals me I can beat the druid easily.
 
B) Great, with two monks that heal me I can beat the druid easily.
 
C) No thanks, that would just unbalance the fight even more.
 
 
16. A knight offers a unique item on the knight line that you want.
However another knights is first to say he wants it. What do you do?
 
A) Make up a rule about Defenders being supposed to have unique eq
before all other knights and inform all other knights as if it had always
been like that.
 
B) Try to type faster next time.
 
C) Ask the knight who got it if you can have it when he is done with it.
 
 
17. You party with a rank 20 pk khorne. Two non-enemy druids are on,
and you know they have been fighting the khorne before. What do
you do?
 
A) Nothing. If they fight each other is not your problem.
 
B) Threaten the druids that you will declare them enemies if they
attack your friend, even if nothing in the knight rules support that.
 
C) Attack the druids when they attack the khorne, and declare
them enemies pretending they attacked you first.
 
 
18. You are fighting a druid enemy. You clearly have the upper hand,
when the druid starts to party with a non-pk monk that heals him.
What do you do?
 
A) Tell the monk to act monkishly and stop healing evil playerkillers.
 
B) Declare the monk an enemy despite the fact that non-playerkillers
can't be enemies.
 
C) Continue to fight the druid as if nothing has happened.
 
 
19. Your RL friend has a pk druid. He is an enemy, since he attacked
a Defender and killed him. But now he's getting so badly beaten by
falcons that he doesn't like it any more. What do you do?
 
A) Remove him from the enemy list, stating he has helped knights
a lot.
 
B) Make him play his monk a lot to heal you, then remove him from
the enemy list.
 
C) Tell him to mail the guild heads about wanting to sacrifice himself.
 
 
20. A pk druid that is not an enemy plays a lot. You know that the player
playing this druid has other pk chars that are enemies. What do you do?
 
A) Call him coward at every opportunity, preferably on open lines.
 
B) Ignore him until he attacks you or another knight.

C) When he fights another player, you defend the other, and threaten the
druid with making him an enemy for attacking you.
 
 
 
>
> read page 18
You read page 18 in your newspaper.

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 18   --
 
Defending the Realm - Check Your Points
 
You can be awarded Bravery Points (bp), Chicken Points (cp),
Stupidity Points (sp), or no points at all (0 p).
When you have added your points you can check your score
in the different key tables.
 
POINTS:
 
1.
A) 1 bp
B) 0 p
C) 1 cp
 
2.
A) 2 bp
B) 1 bp
C) 2 cp
 
3.
A) 2 bp
B) 1 cp
C) 3 cp
 
4.
A) 2 cp
B) 2 bp
C) 3 cp
 
5.
A) 2 sp
B) 2 bp and 2 sp
C) 0 p
 
6.
A) 2 bp
B) 1 bp
C) 5 cp
 
7.
A) 1 cp
B) 2 bp
C) 2 cp
 
8.
A) 2 cp
B) 1 bp
C) 0 p
 
9.
A) 2 bp
B) 1 cp
C) 2 cp
 
10.
A) 2 bp
B) 2 cp
C) 3 cp
 
11.
A) 2 cp
B) 2 bp
C) 1 cp
 
12.
A) 2 cp
B) 3 cp
C) 2 bp
 
13.
A) 2 cp
B) 1 bp
C) 1 sp
 
14.
A) 1 bp
B) 2 bp
C) 5 cp
 
15.
A) 2 cp
B) 5 cp
C) 0 p
 
16.
A) 5 cp
B) 0 p
C) 0 p
 
17.
A) 0 p
B) 1 cp
C) 2 sp
 
18.
A) 0 p
B) 2 sp
C) 1 bp
 
19.
A) 2 sp
B) 2 sp
C) 0 p
 
20.
A) 1 sp
B) 0 p
C) 2 sp
 
 
 
TABLES:
 
Bravery Points:
 
0: There is more to defending than standing in church and
complaining on the knight line about cowardly enemies.
But then, how could you know, when all you did was look at
what the others did?
 
1-5: You should really try to fight a little on your own. It could
actually be amusing. Your major problem would be to convince
your Defender friends to do the same.
 
6-9: You're braver than the average Defender, but still you need
to let go of the safety net and try some more fair fights.
 
10-19: You're fighting well, without using too much help from
others. If all of the Defenders were of your standard, Merlin
could stop crying himself to sleep.
 
20-25: You're the big brave Defender that protects the realm from
evil scum. And you're doing it without always having the odds on
your side. Knightly, brave and honourable like you are is what
Arthur wishes all his Defenders were. Or at least one.
 
26-27: Either you're lying, or you're trying so hard to be brave
and knightly that it causes you lots of deaths. Perfect in ideals,
a little worse in practice.
 
Chicken Points:
 
0: You're not a Defender, so why don't you become one? Arthur
would need more people like you. Maybe you could be a good
role model for the other Defenders, so they can change their ways.
 
1-9: A brave and knightly Defender you are, at least most of the time.
Try to think of some occasions when you could leave that monk
behind, and people would respect you even more.
 
10-19: If you were a Defender Arthur would be happy, but then
everything is relative. A real knight shouldn't get any chicken points
at all, you know.
 
20-29: The only reason why you haven't got more Chicken Points
is probably that your Defender friends got them before you. A course
in bravery and knightliness should help.
 
30-39: You almost never die, and we all know why. You probably
get a lot of kills anyway. Pity none of them are shown on the plaque.
 
40-44: You're an average Defender. You really should try to be
a little more brave, and give more honour to your guild.
 
45: Glad to see you did the test, Mellissa.
 
Stupidity Points:
 
0: Are you sure you answered honestly? Seems you uphold the rules
and avoid too many unnecessary deaths a little too good to be a
Defender.
 
1-5: Either you die too much, or you have some problems with your
knightly image.
 
6-10: Maybe you should try to learn the knight rules before you play
a Defender... And if you already are one, consider joining the dark
guild.
 
11: If the Guild Heads would know you play this way, you would be
thrown out. Unless you have a GH wiz of course.
 
>
> read page 19
You read page 19 in your newspaper.

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 19   --
 
 
 Much to the surprise of all, the paper reappeared for a May issue.  In
 theory, the lack of classes and the re-emergence of a real life will allow
 for a contined on-time release of the newspaper.  In practice, we'll see.
 Hold your breath if you want, but it'll be a long month.
 
 Applications are now being taken for the Guest Editor position for the
 September 98 paper, being that time of the year when I'm in transition from
 home back to university.  Snafu's stint was moderately successful last year,
 and we're looking to repeat it.  Seriously, it's a lot of fun.  Everyone
 should do this.
 
 Or something like that.
 
 //Lonewolf
>
> read page 20
But there are less pages than that!