The NannyMUD Times issue January 1998.

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 1    ---
                       
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 This supersedes all previous notices.
 
 
 
 (1)  Index
       This.
 (2)  Announcements
       Information you may have missed.
 (3)  Interview
       A brief interview with the old and new guildmaster of Druids.
 (4)  Pklog
       It's what most of you like.
 (5)  Playerquestion
       See what bored wizards do.
 (6)  Puzzles.old
       Last month's puzzles, their solutions, and stuff.
 (7)  Puzzles.new
       New puzzles and a new roomhunt.
 (  Pubreview
       The Wasted Wizard was reviewed this month.
 (9)  Weddings
       Those who tied the knot in December.
 (10) Obituaries
       Poor sods. At least you die in humorous ways.
 (11) Cooking Corner
       Brownies, courtesy of Kiki.
 (12) The Darwin Awards
       Awards for those who die in humorous ways out in the real world.
 (13) News from the Outside
       Really. This is true.
 (14) Are you online too much?
       Take this quiz to be sure.
 (15) Feedback
       What do you like about the paper? What do you dislike?
 (16) Parting comments
       Et cetera.
 

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 2    ---
 
 December, like usual, was filled with certain useful announcements for the
 populace of Nanny. In the event that you didn't pay attention, forgot, or
 were too drunk to read the screen, here is the information that the admin
 deemed essential.
 
 
 Charmangle's quest opened again after a lengthy hiatus.  Now even YOU can
 help free the SoulStone!
 
 The Bookshop obtained the list of subscribers of the old Book of Quests,
 and proceeded to supply those people with the new version.
 
 Plate tectonics and volcanic action have resulted in the re-creation of
 Padland.  It's everything you remembered it to be, and more.
 
 Sadyc's area was opened along with a quest.  Fun for the whole family!
 Mishra followed suit and reopened his area, almost the same as you
 remembered it to be.
 
 The Kittens guild was opened after many trials.  As Lysander said, it's
 just like all the other Kittens guilds out there on MUDs.
 
 Bishop's area was closed, as per his request; those wonderful nunchaku are
 gone forever.  Bixby's area was stricken with a virus and is temporarily
 inaccessible.
 
 Leowon hired a squad of elite typo hunters, and Banshee, refusing to be
 outdone, began to advertise for praise hunters.  Join the positive squad
 and start praising!
 
 Azatoth's classic quest has been updated to be solvable for the current
 state of the mud, no longer in its own private Idaho.
 
 The Chefs guild underwent minor changes and now contains fast food and
 support for PK.
 
 
 And people say the mud never changes.

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 3    ---
**  Greetings from the NannyMUD Times. We're here with Laurana and
    Cathbad, the incoming and outgoing guildmasters of the Druids guild.
 
**  How long were you with the Druids guild, Cathbad?
 
Cathbad says: As guildmaster two years or so.  As a member, for the five years
              since I started here.  I joined first day.
 
**  Why did you take over as guildmaster?
 
Cathbad chuckles.
Cathbad says: I have read about the ancient Celts quite extensively and have a
              good knowledge of Celtic legend.  I had been in the guild longer
              than the three previous guildmasters and...if truth be told...was
              the only person who offered.
 
**  Are there any memorable experiences you had while guildmaster?
 
Cathbad says: None that you have space enough to print in full.
 
**  Do you have any future plans now that you're moving on?
 
Cathbad says: I have a huge backlog of ideas and projects which I put off to
              work on the guild.  I may improve my area, code a couple of
              quests or embark on a new guild...
Cathbad says: Or I might just forget it and spend my time more productively.
Cathbad shrugs.
Cathbad says: The guild took up a lot of time.  It's quite a big thing to miss.
 
**  Thank you for your input.
 
**  Laurana, why did you offer to take over Druids?
 
Laurana says: Well, I can't say I was a member before I became a wizard, or
              anything like that.. I was a member of the old Mages, after all.
              The feel of the guild is what drew me to it, along with the ideas
              embodied within. I've made a study of the druids before, in real,
              and I thought this would be a good opportunity for me.
 
**  Could you elaborate on the 'feel of the guild'?
 
Laurana hmms.
Laurana says: The guild is more relaxed than the other guilds, I feel. In the
              knights, people are always concerned about whether one thing or
              another is going right, and the Khornes are more concerned with
              number of kills. The Druids are different, in that a good
              percentage of them are with the guild to have fun on the mud, and
              that is their major aim. I respect that.
 
**  Do you feel there are unique ideas embodied within besides a general
    aim of having fun?
 
Laurana chuckles.
Laurana says: Well, I will say, that it is very difficult to be 'original' when
              your ideas are based on a group of people thousands of years old.
 
**  Are there any changes to the guild that may be implemented shortly?
 
Laurana says: Well, before Cathbad left, he was working on a complete recode of
              the guild. I am continuing with that, and will incorporate many,
              if not all, of the concepts he had into that new guild. However,
              this will take a while.
 
**  Do you have plans to include any ideas of your own?
 
Laurana says: I intend to put some of my ideas in as well, as soon as I can
              think of some that are viable, and fit with the rest of the
              framework.
 
**  Thanks for your time as well.


---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 4    ---
 
 
You are in a large open grassy place just south of the village church, which
dominates the scene. The main village lies over to the east
to the west is a
hump-backed bridge crossing a wide river, and beyond that untamed wilderness.
Ingis Lane starts here and leads off south.
The morning sun is rising in the east.
There are four obvious exits: west, east, north and south.
Coke the fighter of Khorne (neutral).
Kimberly's hunting falcon.
Kimberly the Exalted Knightess (good).
Golgol the master druid (nasty).
Doa the grand druid (TreeHugger).
Saga the Toag (neutral).
Dabot the Master of Khorne (demonic).
Stjarna the utter novice (neutral).
Spunkybutt the Daemon Prince of Khorne (nasty).
A dead oak tree.
A lane leads south from here.
(Virgin)[2000} Golgol says: wimp yyrkoon..=)
Golgol burps.
Demonblade says: YOU WILL BE SURPRISED, VIRGIN, OF HOW LARGE PART!
Kimberly neatly puts a nice bandage over Dabot's nasty wounds.
Yunnie arrives.
Yunnie leaves north.
There is no yunnie here.
(Virgin)[2000} No Yunnie here !
(Virgin)[2000} Lorca arrives.
Lorca leaves east.
Dabot leaves east.
Kimberly leaves with her falcon east.
Ender arrives.
Yyrkoon arrives with his falcon.
Golgol grabs some spores from a leather pouch and hurls them at Yyrkoon!
Yyrkoon slashed Golgol.
Dabot arrives.
Kimberly arrives with her falcon.
Teel arrives.
Ender leaves east.
Golgol slashed Yyrkoon in the chest.
Yyrkoon misses Golgol completely with a misdirected blow.
Yyrkoon slashed Golgol.
Yyrkoon slashed Golgol in the chest.
You missed.
Yyrkoon nicked Golgol in the stomach.
You smashed Yyrkoon with a bonecrushing sound.
|** Yyrkoon is in superior shape.
Yyrkoon's falcon scratches Golgol in the face.
Golgol grabs some spores from a leather pouch and hurls them at Yyrkoon!
k
Saga starts pointing out the weak spots in Yyrkoon's defense.
Yes, yes.
(Virgin)[2000} Hungrig arrives.
Yyrkoon waves a wand of fireballs and you are hit by a fireball.
|** BP: 282/344
Golgol missed Yyrkoon.
Yyrkoon slashed Golgol in the chest.
Yyrkoon slashed Golgol.
Saga continues pointing out the weak spots in Yyrkoon's defense.
You smashed Yyrkoon with a bonecrushing sound.
A powerful lightning is released from the sword.
Yyrkoon slashed Golgol.
Saga continues pointing out the weak spots in Yyrkoon's defense.
You grazed Yyrkoon.
|** Yyrkoon is in fair shape.
Golgol grabs some spores from a leather pouch and hurls them at Yyrkoon!
fDabot thinks carefully.
Golgol slashed Yyrkoon in the chest.
Yyrkoon's sword releases a powerful lightning.
Yyrkoon misses Golgol completely with a misdirected blow.
Yyrkoon slashed Golgol in the chest.
Yyrkoon slashed Golgol.
Saga continues pointing out the weak spots in Yyrkoon's defense.
You smashed Yyrkoon with a bonecrushing sound.
Yyrkoon slashed Golgol in the chest.
Saga continues pointing out the weak spots in Yyrkoon's defense.
You smashed Yyrkoon with a bonecrushing sound.
|** Yyrkoon is in very weak shape.
Demonblade says: OF COURSE, I DO NOT EXPECT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THE FINER POINTS!
|** BP: 255/344
You gaze deep into Yyrkoon's eyes, holding him in place.
(Virgin)[2000} Golgol grabs some spores from a leather pouch and hurls them at Yyrkoon!
Yyrkoon's falcon flies home.
Golgol nicked Yyrkoon in the stomach.
Yyrkoon slashed Golgol.
Yyrkoon tried, but failed to run away.
Yyrkoon chops a slice out of Golgol.
Yyrkoon cut Golgol lightly.
Saga continues pointing out the weak spots in Yyrkoon's defense.
Party: Experience points divided.
[PKersinfo] Virgin just killed Yyrkoon.
You are victorious!!!
[PKersinfo] From somewhere deep inside the temple you hear a voice saying:
Hail Virgin!!!
Yyrkoon died.
|** Golgol is in poor shape.
The mist left the game.
You can't when there are things in the backpack.
The backpack will not let itself be put into the backpack.
Couldn't put the backpack.
backpack cannot contain robe.
Couldn't put the robe.
backpack cannot contain ring.
Couldn't put the ring.
backpack cannot contain wand of fireballs.
Couldn't put the wand of fireballs.
backpack cannot contain focusing crystal.
Couldn't put the focusing crystal.
You put an orb, a sharp black longsword, a rune armour, 5421 coins, a wand of
healing, a mirror, a crucifix and pair of metal gauntlets in a backpack.
(Virgin)[2000} The wind blows Golgol's spores back in its face!
Golgol puts a robe, wand of fireballs, a ring and a focusing crystal in a
backpack.
gaSaga continues pointing out the weak spots in Golgol's defense.
You smashed Golgol with a bonecrushing sound.
Saga continues pointing out the weak spots in Golgol's defense.
You missed.
|** Golgol is in very weak shape.
c
 
You take a backpack from a corpse of Yyrkoon.
(Virgin)[2000} Yunnie arrives.
Yunnie leaves north.
There is no yunnie here.
(Virgin)[2000} No Yunnie here !
(Virgin)[2000} l
Saga continues pointing out the weak spots in Golgol's defense.
You smashed Golgol with a bonecrushing sound.
Saga continues pointing out the weak spots in Golgol's defense.
Party: Experience points divided.
[PKersinfo] Virgin just killed Golgol.
You are victorious!!!
[PKersinfo] From somewhere deep inside the temple you hear a voice saying:
Hail Virgin!!!
Golgol died.
|** BP: 344/344
You slowly drain corpse of Golgol of all blood.
You are in a large open grassy place just south of the village church, which
dominates the scene. The main village lies over to the east
to the west is a
hump-backed bridge crossing a wide river, and beyond that untamed wilderness.
Ingis Lane starts here and leads off south.
The morning sun is rising in the east.
There are four obvious exits: west, east, north and south.
A withered husk.
A backpack.
Kangaroo gloves.
A fortune cookie.
A fortune cookie.
A fortune cookie.
A fortune cookie.
A fortune cookie.
A fortune cookie.
A fortune cookie.
A fortune cookie.
A fortune cookie.
A fortune cookie.
A fortune cookie.
A fortune cookie.
A fortune cookie.
A fortune cookie.
A fortune cookie.
A fortune cookie.
A fortune cookie.
A fortune cookie.
A fortune cookie.
A fortune cookie.
Dauron's field chainmail.
A black amulet.
A pair of black boots.
A lovely springflower.
The ring of truth.
The giant king's heavy twohandsword.
40090 gold coins.
Corpse of Yyrkoon.
Hungrig the Master of Autumn (lonely).
Teel the Acoustic Warrior (neutral).
Kimberly's hunting falcon.
Kimberly the Exalted Knightess (good).
Dabot the Master of Khorne (demonic).
Coke the fighter of Khorne (neutral).
Ghost of Golgol.
Doa the grand druid (TreeHugger).
Saga the Toag (neutral).
Stjarna the utter novice (neutral).
Spunkybutt the Daemon Prince of Khorne (nasty).
A dead oak tree.
A lane leads south from here.
(Virgin)[2000}
 
 
 Yay, yay, woohoo.

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 5    ---
 
Lonewolf tells you: I'm the only wizard on. What should I do?
 
[-Druids-] Brujah tells you: echo all!
Quentin replies to you: heal m
Andra replies to you: go to bed?
Brian replies to you: some nasty stuff!!!!
Killless tells you: go mortal
Sky tells you: um.. don't know.. what do you want to do?
Moldor tells you: give me quest tips =P
Mistletoe tells you: um...misbehave.  hi.
Tator tells you: grin, patch us all 90 dex?
[-Druids-] Whak tells you: get off:)
Kaspel tells you: About what?
[Simyarin] Forgrim tells you: move the mud to america so we get a better
           conection;)
Tirian tells you: then you have an appropriate nick
Scully tells you: grin and bear it. heheh.
[-Druids-] Brujah tells you: I'm fond of autosave being autoslaver
Peregrine tells you: torture innocent players;)
Marzipan replies to you: um, are you sure? can you see invis? (otherwise rule
         like a tyrrant?)
Cheri tells you: about what?
Gander replies to you: Hmm....give me a million coins...
[Simyarin] Forgrim tells you: hmm will that be in the paper;)
[-Druids-] Brujah tells you: or do your papers question?
Peregrine tells you: or code, but I wouldn't advise that, that doesn't sound
          fun
Pisces tells you: oh gees. I'm not sure
Killless replies to you: either that or poke your nose around and see what you
         can come up with.....
Brujah shouts: Fear Lonewolf representing all of Nanny's wiz!?
Marzipan replies to you: I see a few wiz-seconds on though...
[Simyarin] Speedy tells you: gimme Lots & lots of money?? =)
A blowkiss suddenly appears and kisses you affectionately.
It lands directly on your chin!
The kiss feels like it came from Quentin's lips.
Tirian tells you: give us all a little quest help, we won't tell honest
       ::::ducking::::
 
Lonewolf tells you: How about I dest you and reboot the mud. What do you think
         about that?
 
[-Druids-] The trees whisper: Whak enters the channel.
[-Druids-] Whak: no
[-Druids-] The trees whisper: Whak leaves the channel.
Quentin replies to you: good idea.
Tator tells you: *fear*
Gander replies to you: Nah...
Moldor tells you: ack no no..i was kidding..
Ripples replies to you: is that really legal?
Cheri tells you: wait . . . i don't understand what's going on
[Simyarin] Forgrim tells you: that aint cool
[Simyarin] Speedy tells you: I liked my idea better =)
Killless replies to you: well you could do that but could you rename me
         instead?
[-Druids-] Whak: It would be no skin off mine arse if you did that, LoneWolf
           (sir!)
Mistletoe tells you: <pout>  I'm cute, you don't want to do that..<pout>
Tirian tells you: no I don't think that would be a good idea
Andra replies to you: try it?
[Simyarin] Forgrim tells you: do I have to play a second already;)
[-Druids-] Brujah grins, and waves her half package of Bilar at Lonewolf.
Brian replies to you: no!! dont!! you dont have time! you have to leave!
      {****panic****}
Pisces tells you: dest = destroy? I'll never return to nanny, if that happens
Tirian tells you: and i don't even know what dest is
 
Lonewolf tells you: Nah, desting would be boring. Think they'd notice if I
         patched you some qp?
 
Ripples replies to you: hehhe probably
Quentin replies to you: most likely.
[-Druids-] Whak tells you: You, sir, are quite bored, no?
Gander replies to you: Don't know....
[-Druids-] Brujah votes for Lonewolf to do his Times question now.
Killless replies to you: fear that "tell all"
Andra replies to you: drool, I hope not, say about 2270? *grin*
Sky tells you: nah.. but who would??
Pisces tells you: ?
Marzipan replies to you: um, well, I would love you madly for it, but that
         would be up to you
Gander replies to you: I could use it to....
Mistletoe tells you: heh...weirdo.
Brian replies to you: i'll create a new char and lets try
[Simyarin] Forgrim tells you: I never quest I think they would find something a
           miss If all the sudden I was a paragon;)
Tirian tells you: maybe not, but my conscious would bother me
[-Druids-] Brujah tells you: Heh. ALmost* figured out caymar island.
[Simyarin] Speedy tells you: that would be VERY kewl =)
Cheri tells you: probably they would and i would get in trouble for it -- BUT
      if you think you could do it okay, i don't mind
Moldor tells you: noep...come on give them to me..give me liek few
       hundreds..that will do ..nah i will not be greedy....100..=p
Cheri tells you: actually, i need protection from death more
Marzipan replies to you: I don't really know about such things
Brian replies to you: just a few nasty quests
 
Lonewolf tells you: Hmm, what will you give me in exchange?
 
> Ripples replies to you: nothing
Mistletoe tells you: who said I wanted it?
Sky tells you: what do you want??
[Simyarin] Forgrim tells you: then again If ya gave me the qp Ild go up one
           level every few weeks;)
Cheri tells you: what could i give you?
Brian replies to you: a snuggle a cuddle?
Killless replies to you: hmm
Gander replies to you: What would you like..
Tirian tells you: do you have an area or quest up yet?
Killless replies to you: well what do you want?
[-Druids-] Peregrine: mudsex?
[-Druids-] Scully tells you: huh?
Whak tells you: uh. I'll give you Oak's soul
[-Druids-] Brujah tells you: ? Bilar? A hug?
Moldor tells you: hmmm what would a wiz want ?
[Simyarin] Forgrim tells you: patience is one thing a sim can do well;)
Jass tells you: try it
Andra replies to you: Hmm. Some of the blackmail pictures of you I've got?
Marzipan tells you: um, what can i ofer you?
Moldor tells you: hmm i will think of a way to repay u? =P
[Simyarin] Speedy tells you: what do I have that you wish?
Killless replies to you: fear all the reply's you are getting
Jass tells you: lonely at the top?
Tirian tells you: what can i give a wizard, mortals can't give anything of
       consequece to immortals
[-Druids-] Pisces tells you: heh, sorry
A blowkiss suddenly appears and kisses you affectionately.
It lands directly on your forehead!
The kiss feels like it came from Pisces's lips.
 
Lonewolf tells you: Pfft. You people are boring.

 
Killless replies to you: laf
Jass tells you: no kidding
[-Druids-] Brujah smiles, and whistles innocently, tossing a piece of Bilar up
           and down.
A blowkiss suddenly appears and kisses you affectionately.
It lands directly on your nose!
The kiss feels like it came from Quentin's lips.
tell brujah oA blowkiss suddenly appears and kisses you affectionately.
It lands directly on your nose!
The kiss feels like it came from Andra's lips.
rA blowkiss suddenly appears and kisses you affectionately.
It lands directly on your forehead!
The kiss feels like it came from Scully's lips.
Cheri tells you: excuse me?????
Killless replies to you: would you settle for some really hot mudsex for that
         qp?
[Simyarin] Speedy tells you: hehehe
Moldor tells you: ehehhe i wil lmake u mudsex me..?..=P
Tirian tells you: you were one of us once
Brian replies to you: he.. killing
Cheri tells you: well, you are rude!
Marzipan tells you: what? um, you want sex? coke? what? guns? i can get it
[Simyarin] Raybane thinks Lonewolf is lonely...
[-Druids-] Pisces tells you: from an immortals point of view, I'm sure we can be
Tirian tells you: like your work with the paper, it's pretty good
Mistletoe tells you: so sorry...
Moldor tells you: i was chatting bullshits ,.,,nevermind me...ok..go spam.that
       would eb interesting
 
Lonewolf tells you: Not only are you boring, but you're also rude. Hmpf. Just
         see if I talk to you again.
 
A blowkiss suddenly appears and kisses you affectionately.
It lands directly on your left cheek!
The kiss feels like it came from Andra's lips.
Killless replies to you: okie
Ripples replies to you: hehehe see if i help you quest again
Tirian tells you: how am i rude?
Jass replies to you: oops, what did i say?
A blowkiss suddenly appears and kisses you affectionately.
It lands directly on your chin!
The kiss feels like it came from Speedy's lips.
Killless replies to you: are any of these specific tells or just to everyone?
[-Druids-] Scully tells you: huh? what did I say?
Gander replies to you: Sorry...
[Simyarin] Speedy tells you:
Arbre tells you: ?
[-Druids-] Brujah tells you: (kicks lonewolfs ass gently) (I serve only to amuse
           you, oh wonderful being)
Mistletoe tells you: rude?  I apologized for my lack of entertainment value..
[-Druids-] Pisces tells you: I apologize, I didn't mean to be rude.   *hugs*
Moldor tells you: u are angry fro real?
[-Druids-] Whak tells you: S's yo momma!
You get a vision:
Speedy grins wolfishly.
Tirian tells you: or are you being sarcastic
Cheri tells you: i did nothing to you -- did not instigate this conversation at
      all --
Marzipan replies to you: what? you asked me for stuff. that's like asking the
         mob, i can get anything but most often people want *special* items
[-Druids-] Peregrine: I'd like to complain about a wizard
Cheri tells you: oh, got it -- for the PAPER!!

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 6    ---
 
 These are the puzzles from last issue and their solutions.
 
 
 
 Arrange five gold coins into two rows with one row containing three coins
 and the other row containing four coins.
 
 Prize: 500 coins.
 
 Narya was the first to answer this, by placing the coins in the following
 fashion:
   
       1
   1   2   1
 
 ..where 1 indicates 1 coin and 2 indicates 2 coins, one on the other.
 
 Honorable mentions were earned by Cathbad, Ebon, Sexcrime, Hallon, and
 Devron.
 
 Given a four by four grid, place four sets of the numbers 1, 2, 3, and 4
 in the sixteen boxes of the grid in such a way that the same number will
 not appear in any horizontal or vertical row. This also applies to the
 two major diagonals.
 
 Prize: 500 coins.
 
  Niklas was the first with the solution of:
 
  1 4 2 3
  2 3 1 4
  3 2 4 1
  4 1 3 2
 
  Honorable mentions were earned by Narya, Rrr, Cathbad, Ebon, Kaspel,
  Sexcrime, Eris, and Hallon.
 
 According to an ancient manuscript, there is a five-letter word containing
 five other words within itself. The letters that make up the word do not
 have to be rearranged in any manner. Also, each word is complete with no
 intervening letters. What is the word?
 (It is an English word.)

 Prize: 1000 coins.
 
  Narya was the first with the intended answer of 'there' ("-There- is a
  five-letter word..."), containing 'the', 'he', here', 'her', and 'ere'.
  Other valid words are pants, scant, scare, ahead, brain, braid, heart,
 
  Honorable mentions were earned by Rrr, Ebon, Jass, Anony, and Boss.
 
 
 Here's a card puzzle for you. To solve it, you have to take the four kings
 and the four queens from a deck of cards and arrange them into a stack
 that can be dealt out as follows: king, queen, king, queen, king, queen,
 king, queen. They must be dealt in the following manner:
  (1) Take the top card and turn it face up on the table.
  (2) Take the next card and place it on the bottom of the deck.
  (3) Repeat steps 1 and 2 seven more times.
 
 Prize: 1000 coins.
 
 Rrr was the first to submit the correct answer of 'KKQKKQQQ'.

 
 Honorable mentions were earned by Ebon, Niklas, Eris, Hallon, and Sexcrime.
 
 "Batter up!" cries the ump. It's time for the Nanny Nine to take to the
 field, and it's time for you to fill out your scorecard. What's that? You
 know the names of the players but you don't know what positions on the
 team they play! Well, I'm not going to let you off the hook so easily
 this time. Now listen carefully. I'll tell you some facts concerning each
 of the players, and it will be up to you to figure out who plays each of
 the nine positions on the team. Ready? Here we go.
  (1) Dwinbar dislikes the catcher.
  (2) Mats' sister is engaged to the second baseman.
  (3) The center fielder is taller than the right fielder.
  (4) Lars and the third baseman live in the same building.
  (5) Taren and Brom each won 20k coins from the pitcher in pinochle.
  (6) Mats and the outfielders play poker during their free time.
  (7) The pitcher's wife is the third baseman's sister.
  ( All the battery and infield, except Brom, Lars and Dwinbar, are
      shorter than Titleist.
  (9) Taren, Dwinbar, and the shortstop lost 50k each at the racetrack.
 (10) Taren, Lars, Beldin and the catcher took a trouncing from the
      second baseman at billiards.
 (11) Titleist has been married for a year.
 (12) The catcher and the third baseman each have two children.
 (13) Mats, Taren, Leowon, the right fielder and center fielder are
      bachelors. The others are married.
 (14) The shortstop, the third baseman and Beldin each cleaned up 100k
      betting on the fight.
 (15) One of the outfielders is either Thargor or Dwinbar.
 (16) Leowon is taller than Beldin.
 (17) Thargor is shorter than Beldin.
 (18) Leowon and Thargor are each heavier than the third baseman.
 
 You now have all the facts that you will need to determine the names of the
 men playing all the positions on the Nanny Nine. Play ball!
 (Disclaimer: The choice of names was arbitrary, and information regarding
  marital status, height, and anything else is completely unrelated to the
  rl status of the admin.)
 (Apologies to those unfamiliar with baseball.)
 
 Prize: 2000 coins.
 
 Devron was the first with the correct solution:
 Catcher is Brom
 Pitcher is Lars
 Shortstop is Mats
 Third Base is Dwinnie
 First Base is Taren
 Second Base is Leowon
 Left Field is Titlest
 Right Field is Thargor
 Center Field is Beldin
 ..although I must agree Titlest is out in left field somewhere 
 
 
 Young Maximilian's birthday has rolled around again, and it's time to see
 if he can't outwit Uncle Otis. Every year Uncle Otis gives max ten notes
 marked '1 coin' and ten notes marked '100 coins' and tells him to place
 them into two bowls. Max is free to put any number of notes into each bowl.
 However, he's not allowed to crush, bend, or fold any of the notes so that
 he could identify them by touch. Otis them blindfolds Max and moves the
 bowls around on the table so Max will not know which is which. Otis also
 mixes up the notes in each bowl in case Max has placed the '100 coins'
 notes on top. Max is then allowed to reach into one of the bowls and remove
 one note, and Otis then gives him the amount written on the note for his
 birthday present. It sounds like an even-money bet, but there is a way Max
 can distribute the bills among the bowls to give himself a far better break
 on the odds. How does he go about outwitting Uncle Otis?
Include the percentage odds Max has of selecting a '100 coins' note in your
 answer.
 
 Prize: 5000 coins.
 
  Narya was the first with the correct answer.
 
 Well, I suppose the cleverest thing young Max could do would be
 to drop one 100-coin note in one bowl and put the rest in the other.
 That way, he'd have a 50% chance of picking the bowl where he'd get
 100 coins for sure, and a 50% chance of having an almost-even chance
 of pulling out a 100-coin note--well, 9/19. So, odds: .5 (1/1) +
 .5 (9/19) = 1/2 (19/19 + 9/19) = 1/2 (28/19) = (14/19), which is,
 roughly, .73684.
 
 Honorable mentions were earned by Ebon, Maximilian, Niklas, Eris, Hallon,
 Devron, and Sexcrime.
 
 You are down in the crocodiles lair. The cave is half-filled with water and
 you can feel the loose bottom with your feet. It doesn't appear very stable
 and if you stay here too long you might sink deep into the crocodiles'
 larder.
   There is one obvious exit: up.
 A baby crocodile.
 A big crocodile.
 
  Prize: 5000 coins.
 
 Niklas was the first to submit the answer of
 s,w,d,s,s,s,s,s,s,s,se,s,s,s,d.
 
 Honorable mentions were earned by Hawkie, Sexcrime, and Oriole.
 
 The following was the roomhunt from November 1997.
 
 This is a small, ruined chamber with a low ceiling. Once mosaics must have
 covered all the walls, but now most are ruined from years of moisture and
 temperature changes. Only a few are left. At the west end of the chamber is a
 simple altar.
   There is one obvious exit: up.
 
 No one found this room for the second month in a row.

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 7    ---
 
 Mail all solutions to Lonewolf. The header of the mail message should
 refer to the puzzles solved.
 
 
 The man who sold it did not want it.
 The man who bought it did not need it.
 The man who used it did not know it.
 What is it?
 
  Prize: 500 coins.
 
 
 What can go up a chimney down but not down a chimney up?
 
  Prize: 500 coins.
 
 
 What number comes next?
 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 20, 22, 101, ?
 
  Prize: 1000 coins.
 
 
 What is the product of the following series:
 (x-a),(x-b),(x-c),.....(x-z)? (really nothing for math oriented minds)
 
  Prize: 1000 coins.
 
 In a hardware store, you ask the price of an item on
 display. Practically every hardware store carries this item, for no
 home should be without it. The following conversation takes place.
 Clerk: The price is a quarter each.
 Customer: That means seventy five cents for 100.
 Clerk: That's right.
 Customer: Well, I'll take fifty seven.
 Clerk: That will be fifty cents.
 
 The conversation makes perfect sense. What is the item?
 
  Prize: 2000 coins.
 
 
 You are given nine trees and must arrange them so you have ten lines of
 three trees each.
 
  Prize: 5000 coins.
 
 
 
 The subsequent puzzles are the roomhunts, in which the winning solution
 is the shortest path to the described room from the village green. 
 No movement-enhancing spells or items are allowed -- that is, no
 teleport, no seven-league boots, and the like.  Mail your solution
 to Lonewolf.
 
 You are at the bottom of the sea and notice something strange, you can
 breathe under the water. There's a lot of seaweed here. You stand in front of
 a cave, it looks dangerous, but tempting to enter. There's some text carved
 into the cavewall.
   There are two obvious exits: east and north.
 
  Prize: 5000 coins.
 
 
 The following is the roomhunt from November 1997.

 
 This is a small, ruined chamber with a low ceiling. Once mosaics must have
 covered all the walls, but now most are ruined from years of moisture and
 temperature changes. Only a few are left. At the west end of the chamber is a
 simple altar.
   There is one obvious exit: up.
 
   As added incentive to explore the mud, the prize for this room
   has risen to 10000 coins.  This is the last month this prize will remain
   available, after which it will be retired to the Hall of Fame.
 
 
 

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 8    ---
 
 
This month we will review the Wasted Wizard, located on Caerleon. This
is a popular pub, largely because of the great menu: there's food and
both non-alcoholic and alcoholic drinks, so you can tank up SP and HP to
your heart's content.
 
The menu is as follows:
 
  ___________________________________________________
 |      Drinks     | Price |     Food       | Price  |
 |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
 |1. Qqqq's Quickie   22gc |7. Dwinnies Weenie  22gc |
 |2. Anxious Anna     60gc |8. Broms Bratwurst 120gc |
 |3. Delicious Devik  60gc |9. Mats Meat       450gc |
 |                         |                         |
 |4. Rampant Rohan    22gc |                         |
 |5. Terrible Taren  120gc | In Maelstorm we trust,  |
 |6. Burnin' Banshee 450gc | all others pay CASH!    |
 |_________________________|_________________________|
 
Drinks 1 through 3 are non-alcoholic and 4 through 6 are alcoholic.
 
Number 1, Qqqq's Quickie, is a cheap heal: 22 GC for 5 HP and 5 SP. It
doesn't get you very soaked, so you can drink quite a lot of them.
Numbers 2 and 3 are quite nice in that they respectively heal SP and HP:
the Anxious Anna heals 20 SP but no HP, and the Delicious Devik heals 20
HP but no SP. Speaking from long experience, I can say this is very
helpful for those of you who burn HP but no SP or vice-versa. These do
get you pretty soaked, though, so you can't drink too many of them at
once.
 
Number 4, the Rampant Rohan, like its non-alcoholic price competitor the
Quickie, gives 5 HP and 5 SP, and just barely gives you a buzz. The
Terrible Taren gives you 20 SP and 20 HP each, by comparison, and does
get you reasonably intoxicated. Finally, the Burnin' Banshee, though
very expensive, does heal a whopping 50 SP and 50 HP (don't expect to
drink more than one or maybe two of these, unless you've got reserves I
know nothing about).
 
Turning to the food menu, Dwinnies (sic) Weenie, like the other two
22-GC items, heals 5 SP and 5 HP. Broms (sic) Bratwurst, like the 120-GC
Terrible Taren, heals 20 SP and 20 HP. Finally, Mats (sic) Meat, like
the Burnin' Banshee, heals an impressive 50 SP and 50 HP.

 
The decor is rustic. The proprietor is a drunken sailor named Mad Dog
who doesn't take well to customers who have no cash. One great feature
of the layout is that it's pretty open: there are two entryways to the
Wizard from the Caerleon Plaza, which is a welcome change from the
dead-end setup of a lot of pubs. Further, both entryways and the pub
itself have a discussion board set up in them. The pub itself has the
Anonymous Board, to which all posts are (surprise) anonymous, which
allows NannyMUDders to speculate freely on such controversial subjects
as "NannyMUD's top ten studmuffins." The northern entryway has the
Discussion Board, which is theoretically set up for those subjects that
don't fit other boards on the mud--though this seems to mean, in
practice, that jokes get posted. Finally, the eastern entryway has the
Caerleon Board, devoted to questions and discussions about the immediate
area.
 
The bar also sports a lottery machine (it's a rip-off, don't put your
money into it, for while you do win money, I've always spent more than
I've gotten). There's also a cookie jar much like the Rose and Dragon's.
I will note, however, that these cookies occasionally teleport you to a
few pre-set locations in addition to doing the normal fortune cookie
things, so be careful unless you either know your way around the mud
quite well or have a means of teleporting yourself out of distant
locales.
 
Further, if you hadn't noticed, this pub has a theme: all the items are
named after wizards. I might add that the pub seems to me to specialize
in innuendo--for instance, the food items are all named after male
wizards and refer either to sausages or meat, and they're coded in a
rather suggestive way ("You almost choke on a bratwurst!"). And when you
see the message "Mad Dog accepts 22 coins and gives you a quickie!", it
doesn't take much free association to get to the slang uses of that
term--nor does it take long to wonder what kind of "engourgement" the
Rampant Rohan is giving you. Ahem.
 
Overall, this a great pub: it's located in an interesting area, is close
to some very popular kills, and is an interesting place to be. The
number of HP and SP each items heals is pretty consistent across the
three categories (food, alcohol, and non-alcoholic drinks), which is
nice, and you've gotta love SP- and HP-specific healing. However, I will
note that the cheapest drinks and food are also the most cost-efficient:
you get a lot more bang for your buck with the 22-GC items, which seems
a little backward. Further, the Wizard, like a lot of pubs, does sell
out quite a lot, though apparently not so much as some others, such as
the Sunshine Inn. This may be because it's a little tricky to get to.
 
Specifically, to get to the Wasted Wizard from the village green, go 9s
and board either the Floating Bucket or the Stormpasser with <enter
ship> (if neither ship is there, <light brazier> and one of the two will
appear). Once you're aboard, <sail caerleon> (be careful of the
spelling--it's not "caerlon" or "carleon"), and, when the captain tells
you you've arrived, go out, e, and s. From there, you can either go s
and w, which brings you in from the eastern entrance, or w and s, which
brings you in the northern entrance. To get back to the mainland,
reverse the process, and remember that from there the mainland is "south
coast."
 
//Pubreviewer
 


---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 9    ---
 
 Come on down to Whiterobed Priest's Shotgun Shack O' Love!
 
 
Rupey was married to Glubnorfez by Gilthoniel Sun Dec  7 12:29:21 1997
Gomorra was married to Galaway by Ann Mon Dec  8 18:40:20 1997
Drakath was married to Mellissa by Nothel Sun Dec 14 23:17:45 1997
Firelight was married to Abi by Horn Mon Dec 15 14:26:11 1997
Zith was married to Liz by Nothel Tue Dec 16 22:36:38 1997
Dia was married to Misterpop by Shubbi Thu Dec 18 10:30:35 1997
Elayne was married to Rolland by Elayne Wed Dec 24 01:02:44 1997
Pisces was married to Silgan by Yon Wed Dec 24 04:21:24 1997
Chretienne was married to Lore by Lore Mon Dec 29 21:09:02 1997
Weifcr was married to Carousel by Snafu Tue Dec 30 03:24:20 1997
 
 
 And a rather slow month it was.
 
 

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 9    ---
 
 Come on down to Whiterobed Priest's Shotgun Shack O' Love!
 
 
Rupey was married to Glubnorfez by Gilthoniel Sun Dec  7 12:29:21 1997
Gomorra was married to Galaway by Ann Mon Dec  8 18:40:20 1997
Drakath was married to Mellissa by Nothel Sun Dec 14 23:17:45 1997
Firelight was married to Abi by Horn Mon Dec 15 14:26:11 1997
Zith was married to Liz by Nothel Tue Dec 16 22:36:38 1997
Dia was married to Misterpop by Shubbi Thu Dec 18 10:30:35 1997
Elayne was married to Rolland by Elayne Wed Dec 24 01:02:44 1997
Pisces was married to Silgan by Yon Wed Dec 24 04:21:24 1997
Chretienne was married to Lore by Lore Mon Dec 29 21:09:02 1997
Weifcr was married to Carousel by Snafu Tue Dec 30 03:24:20 1997
 
 
 And a rather slow month it was.
 

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 10   --
 
 Snafu's obituary page for this month was not ready.  It will be combined
 with next month's page.
 
 

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 11   --
 
 Officially called Brownies Cockaigne!
 
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Melt in a double boiler:
1/2 cup butter
4 oz. chocolate
Cool mixture.
 
Beat until light in color and foamy in texture:
4 eggs at room temperature
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 ground orc bladder
Add gradually and continue beating until well creamed:
2 cups of sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
With a few swift strokes, combine the cooled chocolate mixture
into the eggs and sugar. (Do this manually) Before the mixture
becomes uniformly colored, stir in gently:
1 cup sifted flour
And before the flour is uniformly colored, stir in gently:
1 cup pecan meats
1 pound diced dragon flesh
 
Bake in 9 x 13 inch pan for about 25 minutes. Cut when cool.
Serve with cheese dip.
 
Enjoy!
 
(For a vegetarian version of this dish with 93% less fat and cholesterol,
 simply omit the dragon flesh, the orc bladder, and the cheese dip.)
 


---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 12   --
 
For the uninitiated, the Darwin Awards are given are given
each year to the person who does the genepool a big favor by getting
himself killed in a creative way. These are the latest nominees:
 
 * BUXTON, N.C. A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had
 dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beachgoers said
 Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and
 had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when
 it collapsed,  burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach
 on the Outer Banks used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their
 way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, Va., but could not reach him. It

 took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him
 while about 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a
 hospital. "You just wouldn't believe the outpouring of concern, people
 digging with their hands, using pails from kids," Dare County Sheriff
 Bert Austin said.
 
 * In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, Calif.,
 he fell face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was
 burglarizing. Death was caused when the large flashlight he had
 placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) crammed against the base of his
 skull as he hit the floor.
 
 * According to police in Dahlonega, Ga., ROTC cadet Nick Berrena, 20,
 was stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23,
 who was trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flak
 vest Berrena was wearing.
 
 * Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in February in Selbyville,
 Del., as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a
 revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
 
 * In February, according to police in Windsor, Ont., Daniel Kolta,
 27, and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie
 in the game of chicken they were playing with their snowmobiles.
 
 * In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally
 zoned when he ran," according to his wife, accidentally jogged off a
 200-foot-high cliff on his daily run.
 
 * In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in
 two feet of water after squeezing headfirst through an 18-inch- wide
 sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.
 
 * In September, a 7-year- old boy fell off a 100-foot-high bluff near
 Ozark, Ark., after he lost his grip swinging on a cross that marked
 the spot where another person had fallen to his death in 1990.
 
 DARWIN AWARD WANNA-BE'S
 
 * In Guthrie, Okla., in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a millipede
 with a shot from his .22-caliber rifle, but the bullet ricocheted off
 a rock near the hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the head,
 fracturing his skull.
 
 * In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean out
 cobwebs in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor of a
 propane torch and caused a fire that burned the first and second floors of
 his house.
 
 * Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, N. J., in
 September, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, by a quarter-stick
 of dynamite that blew up in their car. While driving around at 2 a.m.,
 the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window
 to see what would happen, but they apparently failed to notice that
 the window was closed.


---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 13   --
 
  Congress approves $540 million for evil!
 
 Congress convenes to vote on HR-307(A), the Taft-Bartlett Evil Bill.
 
  WASHINGTON, DC--In a measure strongly supported by Republicans
and Democrats alike, Congress passed legislation Monday budgeting an
additional $540 million for evil for Fiscal Year 1998-9.
  The allotment marks the most significant increase in federal
evil funding since the approval of a 30 percent hike in budgetary evil
subsidies in November 1996.
  "This is a proud moment for all Americans. To see lawmakers on
both sides of the political fence put aside their partisan loyalties
and come together on such an important issue is a testament to the
American spirit," Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott (R-MS) said. "And

it is a great day for the forces of evil, as well."
  Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA) agreed, characterizing the approval as
"a clear case of Congress, for once, getting its priorities straight."
"It is extremely heartening to see members of Congress finally
rising above unproductive partisan infighting and petty special
interests to pass legislation that will benefit not just their own
narrow lobbies, but all of the wealthiest one percent of
Americans--Democrats and Republicans alike," Santorum said.
The last several decades have witnessed a steady increase in
evil, both domestic and abroad. It is a trend, experts say, that is
likely to continue.
  "With this federally approved evil subsidy, Congress has taken a
major step toward securing the future of evil and all its unholy
causes," said Marion Conyers of the American Enterprise Institute.
"Our legislators recognize that evil, as a belief system and a way of
life, is absolutely vital to any public policy in which punishment of
the righteous and the reward of the loyal servants of darkness is the
goal."
  The $540 million will be earmarked primarily for
temptation-related evils, with 70 percent going toward the funding of
greed, lust, avarice and gluttony, and hatred-based evils such as
cruelty and wrath. The remaining 30 percent will go toward sloth,
usury, and idolatry, with an additional, non-existent 45 percent
allotted toward deception and corruption.
  "We are not saints, we are elected officials," Sen. Wendell Ford
(D-KY) said. "Our job is to represent, unfairly and with unethical
prejudice and forethought, the powerful and influential citizens
within our respective constituencies to whom we owe our political
careers, trading in the long-term good of the people for short-term
material and political gain, for the ill of all. And that's what evil
is all about."
  President Clinton praised the funding approval and expressed
hope that the future will bring continued evil in America.
"It is only through constant, shifty-eyed vigilance that a
democracy can maintain total immersion in evil's many forms and
disguises," Clinton said. "I applaud Congress for putting the cause of
evil first, for putting these important lies into action for our
nation."
  Said Clinton: "I ask only this: surrender to evil."

 
 Read this and more in The Onion! http://Http://www.theonion.com!

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 14   --
 
 Are you online too much? It has been proven that 95% of all people who use
 the internet use it far too much, but less than 4% of those realize that
 they have a problem.  If you answer 'true' to ten or more of the following
 questions, do yourself (and the rest of us) a favor and unplug your
 computer and disconnect your phone line.
 
                                         
 
...the test:
 
|o| Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.
 
|o| When you are reading something printed, you wish you could use a
     search function to get to the point.
 
|o| Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL."
 
|o| When you reply to someone verbally, your fingers start typing
     your response.
 
|o| You check your e-mail over and over, even when you know there's
     nothing there.
 
|o| You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.
 
|o| You have called out someone's screen name while making love
     to your significant other.
 
|o| You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang
     out."
 
|o| Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
 
|o| You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet "sweet_girl"
     face-to-face.
 
|o| You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it.
 
|o| You have to get a 2nd phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut.
 
|o| You arrange for other people online to order you pizzas so you don't
     have to log out.

|o| You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or
     complete sentences.
 
|o| You have met over 100 onliners.
 
|o| You begin to say "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.
 
|o| When someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!"
 
|o| You find yourself sneaking away to the puter in the night when
     your spouse is asleep.
 
|o| You turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't
     know you're online again.
 
|o| You know more about online friends' daily routines than you do
     your own spouse's.
 
|o| You find yourself lying to others about your time online and when
     they complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the
     hook.

|o| You have an identity crisis if someone is using a screen name
     close to your own.
 
|o| You would rather tell people that your bloodshot eyes are from
     partying too much than the truth.
 
|o| You change your screen name so much that you have to do a whois
     to know who you are.
 
|o| You type messages to people while you are on the phone with them
     at the same time.
 
|o| You won't work at a job that doesn't have a modem involved.
 
|o| Your dog leaves you.
 
|o| You bring a bag lunch and a cooler to the computer.
 
|o| Your refrigerator and microwave are within arm's reach of the computer.
 
|o| You type faster than you can think.

|o| You can actually read and follow all the names of the cast that
     scrolls up your TV screen at the end of a movie.
 
|o| You don't want to leave in case you miss something.
 
|o| You move your computer so you can use it while in bed.
 
|o| You set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you
    wanted to check your mail and while there you "just wanted to
    see who was online"
 
 
 Oh, we know you're all guilty.


---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 15   --
 
  Hate those pk logs?
  Want more pk logs?
  Think the paper should just be shut down entirely?
 
  Here's your chance to let us know what you think.
 
  If you please, answer the following questions in mail to Lonewolf.
 
 
 1) What is your favorite page in the paper?
 
 2) What is your least favorite page in the paper?
 
 3) If certain pages are not ready by the deadline, should the paper be
    released anyway?
    If not, what pages are important enough to delay the paper?
 
 4) If you were given a suggestion of something to do, would you write a
    short piece for the paper?
 
 5) What would you like to see added to the paper?

 
 
 The first ten responses will be awarded a small sum of gold and a slightly
 larger amount of gratitude.
 
 


---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 16   --
 
  Another month come and gone.
 
  The issue was regrettably delayed due large portions of the Times staff
traveling abroad, and despite Danish efforts to get the editor drunk, it
still managed to be released.
 
  There was a suggested page of "Possible New Year's Resolutions" for
various players, but the staff failed to think of anything beyond "Quit
mudding so much" for any player.
 
  In a (probably futile) attempt to get more player participation in the
paper, a new offer is made: submit a puzzle, brainteaser, or roomhunt to the
NannyMUD Times, and if your submission is selected and no one successfully
answers it, you win the prize.  Bear in mind that obviously impossible
submissions will be rejected.
 
  And, like always, if you wish to ensure that the Times contains material
that you enjoy, rather than snipe mindlessly, we invite you to contribute.
 
 //Lonewolf, Editor-in-chief

 
> read page 17
But there are less pages than that!
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