The NannyMUD Times issue 1997 September.

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 1    ---

 Welcome to the September 97 issue of the NannyMUD Times. The contents are as
 follows:

 1) Table of Contents:
      This page.
 2) Guest Editorial:
      Guest Editorial by Snafu.
 3) Pk Log:
      Courtesy of Ooops. Think he wins?
 4) Player Question:
      Your responses to a certain question.
 5) Puzzle Solutions:
      Solutions to last month's Puzzles.
 6) Puzzles:
      This month's Puzzles.
 7) Weddings:
      Weddings for the month of August.
  New Wizards:
      New Wizards for the month of August.
 9) Druid Manuscipts:
      Manuscripts recently found concerning Druid Guild.
 10) Guide to Mudsexing:
      Snuttegumma's Guide to Mudsexing your way to the top.
 11) Trip Description:
      Snafu describes recent trip to see many mudders.
 12) Recipe:
      How to make Braised Orc Tenderloin. Courtesy of Jem and Mielle.
 13) Wizline capture:
      Recent log of wizline when a wizard messed up.


---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 2    ---

 This is the September issue of NannyMUD Times.

 I'm Snafu. I'll be your guest editor for this issue of the Times.
 Lonewolf's schedule is a bit busy with him going back to school. Keep
 in mind the distance involved. This is a slam packed issue.

 We have the usual, and we have the unusual. The usual is, of course,
 the obligitory pk log, the puzzles, the solutions to last issue's
 puzzles. Then we have the list of weddings in August, plus a new
 addition which is a listing of the players who became Wizards in
 August. We also have the famous player question. Finally, we cut to
 the meat with some good articles. We have an article about the lost
 Druid Manuscripts, and another written by myself about the trip I
 took in the middle of August. Also, in the paper, is an article about
 mudsexing your way to the top ranks of players and even paragons.
 Thrown into the mix is also a recipe and a log of the wizline after
 a Wizard made a mistake.

 I'd like to take a few words to thank Lonewolf for letting me be the
 Guest Editor for this issue. If this is popular, we may have Guest
 Editors in the future. The job of the Guest Editor would be to assist

 Lonewolf with publishing the paper. We would like feedback on this,
 as well as any other new concepts you want to see put into the Times.
 You should, of course, mail Lonewolf any suggestions to help make the
 Times a better newspaper. There are many ideas being thrown back and
 forth, but, we want to see more ideas. We'd also like to see more
 contributions, so keep the articles coming.

 Without further ado, I'll let you enjoy this issue of the NannyMUD
 Times.

 //Snafu (also known as SpamFu (tm) ) - Guest Editor
>
> read page 3
You read page 3 in your newspaper.

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 3    ---
> b
** HP: 174/204
** Phade is in good shape.
Phade chops furiously at your neck.
You scream loudly from the pain!
** HP: 168/204
** Phade is in good shape.
Phade slashed you.
Village green <w e n s>.
Christie the little monastery maid (neutral).
Narsil the greater druid (evil).
Locke the utter novice (neutral).
Phade's hunting falcon.
Phade the Defender of Camelot (saintly).
Dexy the slayer of Khorne (nice).
Zazin the Master of Khorne (evil).
A dead oak tree.
A lane leads south from here.
> Christie leaves south.
** HP: 169/204
** Phade is in good shape.
You jump onto Phade and start to bite him.
> Phade missed you.
You are hit by a lightning bolt!
Ooops is hit by a lightning bolt!
Phade missed you.
You deal Phade a stunning blow.
You bite Phade.
Covenant arrives.
Phade missed you.
Phade shivers with fear.
You maul your knifelike fangs into Phade.
Covenant leaves east.
Banjax arrives.
Kytten arrives.
Banjax leaves east.
Kytten leaves east.
You are hit by a lightning bolt!
Ooops is hit by a lightning bolt!
** HP: 137/204
** Phade is in fairly poor shape.
Phade leaves with his falcon west.
Hump-backed bridge <w e>.
Phade's hunting falcon.
Phade the Defender of Camelot (saintly).
An old caravan is standing here. Its door is ajar.
A road goes south from here.
It looks possible to climb down to the river.
You tear a bit of flesh from Phade.
n
You can't do that when you are biting.
> ** HP: 131/204
** Phade is in weak shape.
Phade slashed you.
Phade leaves with his falcon south.
Front yard <n s>.
Phade's hunting falcon.
Phade the Defender of Camelot (saintly).
Old greek.
You have stopped biting Phade.
Phade's falcon flies toward you, but misses you totally!
Phade leaves with his falcon south.
s
Hall <w e n s>.
Greek guard.
> s
*Press return for more or q to end. >
Hall <u e n s>.
Phade's hunting falcon.
Phade the Defender of Camelot (saintly).
> k
Yes, yes.
> b
You jump onto Phade and start to bite him.
> You bite Phade.
Phade's falcon flies home.
Phade died.
some mist blows south.
Garden <w e n s>.
Ghost of Phade.

/Once again - each time very fun


---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 4    ---
Player Question for the month of August asked by Snafu:

      hello there We at the NannyMUD Times were wondering: do you have any
      most/least favorite article from the Times? and if so. what were they
      and why did you like/not like them?

Gweedo tells you: fear
Lillen replies to you: LICK!
Wen tells you: Er.. sorry, I don't really keep up with the news. :\
Mystick tells you: what happened to lonewolf?
Deedlit tells you: what is nannymmud times?
Ajax tells you: I don't read.
Khornek tells you: heheheh.. dunno.. dont read it
Nekir tells you: heh havent read nannymud times
Wiz Lourdes peers at you suspiciously.
Anduril replies to you: ack i havent had the pleassure to read it yet..
Sheena replies to you: giggle:)
Wen's tongue unrolls into this room and licks you.
Brujah replies to you: We at Brujah's keyboard Found the Madison Mudparty
       article to most highly amusing. But then, we are vain and like reading
       of ourselves.
Grendelfrog tells you: are you the SpamFu (tm)?
*Press return for more or q to end. >
Nekir tells you: thought that was optional
Vincent replies to you: I like quest reviews - not interested in pk logs.
Archangel tells you: ... knowing the person that I am ... what section do you
          think I like best?
Letharion tells you: I don't read the times much, perhaps the PK articles.. at
          best
Jinnai tells you: My most favorite are the bug reports, just because I get a
       kick out of them.  My least favorite are the horiscopes, because I find
       them pointless.
Vmax replies to you: Nope sorry ... can't say at the moment...
Jinnai tells you: And if this is going into one of those let's print 40 tells
       from everyone articles, then my favorite is this one, since I'll be
       mentioned in it.  "Hi, mom!"
Lys tells you: I liked the story about the recode of the Tootoolah quest. Very
    amusing
Jizu tells you:
Washo replies to you: I didn't read NannyMUD Times...
Cieran tells you: if you're talking about the most recent one (or more
       accurately, the one I read just a few minutes ago), I would say my most
       fave article.. hmm..  maybe the puzzles (not the dirs, the others), or
       the horoscopes, or the mud party thing.. I don't remember what else.. I
       didn't like page one being so bloody long.. make that page two and have
       a SHORT table of contents on page one. it's also relly cool that
       there's 20-something pages.   Hooray for Lonewolf.
Archangel tells you: .. yes and no .. I would have to ... say ... the pking
          part =) ofc ... spamming to =)
Archangel shouts: I think that in the NannyMUD Times there should be 'Spammer
                  of the Week' ... so my name could be in there every week =)
Archangel tells you: heheheh =)
Khornek shouts: bah! you'd never make it to the top 100
Khornek tells you: *flex*
Brujah shouts: Snafu has ya all beat, give up!
Khornek shouts: bah! Snafu and i would be in the top 10!
Brujah tells you: (smirk)
Khornek tells you: impossible
Sheena shouts: i ould b in the botton 10:)
Courtney tells you: the mudsex qp thing .. cause it doesnt exist


---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 5    ---
 
 The puzzles from the last issue were as follows.
 
 
 Lay out a board that is 6 x 6. Gather 12 gold coins and you're ready to
 play. The object of the puzzle is to place the bottle caps in 12 different
 squares on the board in such a manner that no more than 2 caps are in the
 same row - horizontally, vertically, or diagonally.
  Prize: 1000 coins.
 
  Gabe submitted the first correct answer, which was
    -o--o-
    --oo--
    o----o
    o----o
    --oo--
    -o--o-
  Rain and Shagath also submitted this answer after Gabe.
 
  Maugetar submitted an alternate answer, which was
    --o-o-
    --oo--
*Press return for more or q to end. >
    o----o
    o--o--
    -o---o
    -o--o-
  And he also receives an honorable mention.
 
  Cieran submitted the other different answer, which was
    oo----
    -oo---
    ----oo
    o----o
    --oo--
    ---oo-
  And an honorable mention for her as well.
 
 
 There once was a horse race in the summer of 1897. It began as a nine-horse
 race, but the number 1 horse threw a shoe and never finished. The remaining
 horses were numbered 2 through 9. An interesting fact concerning the race
 is that if you add together the numbers of the three winning steeds, the
 sum would be the same as the total of the numbers on the five losing mounts.
 Of the three winners, the one with the lowest number finished first, the
 highest number finished third, and the second-place winner's number was one
 greater than the number of the winning horse. What were the numbers of the
 three winning horses?
  Prize: 1000 coins.
 
 Maugetar submitted the first correct answer of 6, 7, and 9 for the three
 winning horses. Shagath and Shaf also reached this conclusion.
 
 
 Ask someone to write down any three-digit number in which each digit is a
 different number. Next, tell him to reverse the number and then to subtract
 the smaller number from the larger number. Finally, ask him to tell you
 what the last digit of the difference is. In the example below, it would be
 8. With this information you can tell him what the complete number is.
 How do you do it?
  Prize: 1000 coins.         624
                            -426
                             ---
                             198
 
 Maugetar submitted the (only) correct answer, which was that the complete
 number will always be 198.
 
 
 Arrange three 6's so that they represent the number 20.
 I bet the devil will make you do it.
  Prize: 2500 coins.
 
 Gabe submitted the (only) correct answer, which was
 (6 + 6) / .6 == 20
 
 
 A woman has two clocks in her house. One of the clocks doesn't run at all,
 and the other clock always loses an hour a day. Now, which of the clocks
 will have the correct time most often during any given week?
  Prize: 2500 coins.
 
 Maugetar submitted the first correct answer, which was that a stopped
 clock will be correct 14 times each week, while a clock that loses one
 hour each day will be correct only once in twelve days.
 Shagath and Jinnai also answered correctly.
 
 
 The previous room-hunt was to give directions to reach the following room
 in the shortest way possible, barring teleportation, seven-league boots, or
 other non-standard movement, from the village green.
 If a newly-created character can reproduce your solution without aid from
 another character, it is a legal answer.
 
 This is Profezzorn's humble bungalow. Although the furniture is
 simple, it still looks comfortable and the room has a definite 'quaint
 feeling about it. Out through the door, which is north, you can see some
 palm-trees, and through the window east you can see the riverbank.
 One of the walls looks a bit odd.
     There is one obvious exit: out
 A comfy chair.
 An old mirror is standing here.
 A large desk.
 A bed.
 
 
 The correct solution of "s, e, u, n, enter mirror, s, e, s" first was given
 by Saxit, and then by Courtney, Azroth, Guile, Fiend, and Jinnai.
 The runner-up solution of "3e, d, 9w, (wait and float 4n), 3w, s" was
 given by Maugetar, Rain, and Brutal.
 

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 6    ---
 
 "Portia, listen to this in the 'Dear Ariadne' column: 'Dear Ariadne, is
  it against the law, or the teaching of the Church, for a man to marry his
  widow's sister?' Is that possible?"
 "Land sakes, Pierrepont, you should know the answer to that one. If you
  want a puzzle to solve, try placing a common mathematical symbol between
  the numbers two and three so that you have a number that is larger than
  two but less than three."
 Prize: 500 coins. Requires answer to the Dear Ariadne question and solution
        to second puzzle.
                         
  _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
 |x|x|x|_|_|_|_|_|
 |x|x|x|_|_|_|_|_|
 |x|x|x|_|_|_|_|_|
 |_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|
 |_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|
 |_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|
 |_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|
 |_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|
 
 The above is a chessboard. Put a queen on one of the corner squares
 marked above with an 'x', and see if you can move it through all nine
 squares in the upper left-hand corner of the board in just four moves.
 During any one move the queen can traverse as many squares as you want it
 to but may move in one direction only.
 Prize: 1000 coins.
 
 One day, while out bike-riding, Mr. Neederwaller chanced to meet a very
 old friend.
 "It's been years since I last saw you," he said.
 "I know," replied his friend, "since we last met in Burma I've married --
  to someone you never knew that I worked with in Rangoon. This is our
  little girl."
 "And a very pretty one at that," replied Mr. Neederwaller. "What might
  your name be?"
 "Thank you, sir. My name is the same as my mother's."
 "Well, you certainly look like an Eleanor. That was always one of my
  favorite names," answered Mr. Neederwaller.
 
 How did Mr. Neederwaller know that the young girl's name was Eleanor?
 Prize: 1000 coins.
 
 Grandpa Townsend used to tell this story. It seems that at one of his
 birthday parties there were ten family members present besides numerous
 other gueses. There were two grandfathers present, two grandmothers,
 three fathers, three mothers, three daughters, three sons, two
 mothers-in-law, two fathers-in-law, one son-in-law, one daughter-in-law,
 two brothers, and two sisters.
 Can you figure out what family members were present at grandpa's party to
 account for so many family ties?
 Prize: 2500 coins.
 
 
 Back in the 18th century, some folks considered a deck of cards an evil
 waste of time. A deck of cards has many similarities to a calendar. In
 fact, there are at least seven ways in which a deck of cards bears a
 striking resemblance to a calendar. I'll bet that you can't think of more
 than five of them.
 Prize: 2500 coins.
 
 
 The Dish sisters, Ima and Sucha, were all the rage when they came to

 Hollywood back in the 1920s. The studio refused to reveal their ages, but
 a playful press agent teased the reporters with this puzzle.
 "Added together, their ages come to 44 years. Right now, Ima is twice as
  old as Sucha when Ima was half as old as Sucha will be when Sucha is three
  times as old as Ima was when Ima was three times as old as Sucha. From
  that you should be able to tell me how old the women are."
 Prize: 5000 coins.
 
 
 
 The next room-hunt is to give the directions to the following room that
 consist of the least number of steps. Same limitations as before.
 (No teleportation, seven-league boots, other items or spells that enhance
 movement.)
 
 This is the bear-fighting arena's spectator stadium. There are a
 few dusty chairs. From here you can see and hear anything that
 goes on in the arena. There is currently no fight in progress.
   There is one obvious exit: southeast.
 
 Prize: 5000 coins.
 
 
 Mail all solutions to Lonewolf.
 

 
---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 7    ---
These were the weddings that took place for the month of August:

Hate to Lisaa by Shubbi         Mon Aug  4 13:37:21 1997
Jill to Reece by Reece          Fri Aug  8 23:21:23 1997
Drahe to Arbre by Aleea         Sat Aug  9 01:32:13 1997
Phade to Ashly by Thumper       Thu Aug 14 09:33:27 1997
Psyllion to Sheena by Mats      Thu Aug 14 21:13:42 1997
Blaze to Betty by April         Sat Aug 16 10:19:58 1997
Eddy to Mistress by Leowon      Thu Aug 21 21:40:40 1997
Snafu to Savannah by Viper      Fri Aug 22 06:55:21 1997
Mistral to Milan by Dwinbar     Fri Aug 22 19:13:27 1997
Strafe to Dymphna by Nobel      Sun Aug 24 18:57:20 1997
Galactus to Deedlit by Snafu    Sat Aug 30 02:23:27 1997
Khornek to Twillight by Snafu   Sun Aug 31 05:24:52 1997
>


---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 8    ---
The following players joined the Wizards in the month of August

Mastermind became a Wizard on August 1.

Jolrael became a Wizard on August 2.

Marbleleaf became a Wizard on August 7.

Reece became a Wizard on August 8.

Nobel became a Wizard on August 24.

Talia became a Wizard on August 27.

Quant became a Wizard on August 30.
>


---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 9    ---
  The druids are known to be a priesthood of ancient times.  It has
long been thought that they made little use of the written word,
instead committing all sacred knowledge to memory to avoid it falling
into the hands of the unworthy.

  However, the extracts below, taken from manuscripts recently found in
Shrewton, near Stonehenge, are thought to disprove this theory.

---------------------------------------------------------------------
                     The Testament of Druids

                      The Book of Moonchild

  In the beginning there was the word, and the word was Moonchild the
High Wizard, which was four words, which confused all concerned.  And
lo, a day came to pass when Moonchild was a Higher Wizard than usual.
On this day he looked down on the creations of the realm and cast
scorn upon them.

  In the first hour Moonchild created the trees and created hollows
within them so his people might rest.  Which just goes to show how
high he really was.  In the second hour Moonchild gave power unto
his people so they might smite their foes with the power of the
trees.  In the third hour Moonchild created owls so that his people
might not be alone and cloaks so they might be protected from the
elements.  In the fourth hour Moonchild gave his people the power
to stop conflict and named them druids.

  In the fifth hour he passed out.

  When he awoke Moonchild looked upon his creation, and saw that it
was good.  Or at least that it wasn't completely embarrassing.

  The people of the land looked upon the druids with curiosity and
slowly the numbers of the druids grew.

                      The Book of Frogs

  A prophet was born to the realm, and the name of the prophet was
Helenette the Frog.  As Moonchild's powers waxed, so his presence
in the land waned.  Or is it the other way around?  And thus, it

came to pass that the druids followed Helenette, who in turn showed
her people how to see things more clearly.

 And forty days and forty nights passed with Helenette aiding the
lord Moonchild in his rulership.  Then, with a mighty bound Helenette
was gone from the lands.  And the druids mourned her passing by
squinting at everything, as she had taught them.  And the people
looked upon the squinting druids and saw that they were two buns
short of a picnic.

                      The Book of Headless Chickens

  A time of darkness came upon the druids as Moonchild left the land
and Lofetu the Dark Prophet came to rule over his creation.  Fearful
words were whispered in the chambers of the druids and many spoke of
Lofetu's plans to destroy the guild.  "He wants to destroy the guild"
they spake.  And the druids asked of the whisperers how they knew of
these plans.  "How do you know of these plans?", they asked.  And the
whisperers answered "Ummm...".  And the druids asked of the
whisperers how Lofetu was to destroy the guild.  And once more the
whisperers answered "Ummmm...".

  The words of the whisperers spread throughout the guild and fear
ruled supreme.  Truly, there were no words mightier than "Ummmm...".
For the whisperers knew of the plans of the Dark Prophet and yet
would not speak of them.  "In faith", the druids said, "these plans
must be greatly evil if the whisperers will not speak of them."

  And it came to pass in these dark days that the Gods wrath against
Lofetu grew and he was sent into exile.  The druids were then without
leadership and afraid lest they should be scattered to the four
winds.  And lo, two of power amongst the druids stood forth and laid
claim to the mantle of the prophet.  The pretenders were Con the West
and Nico the East.

  Great wars of words were waged between the pretenders.  Verily, these
troubles went on for long minutes until Bix the Somewhere-in-between
was called upon to divide the parties.  There was no way of deciding
who should wear the prophet's mantle and all were afeared lest the
druids should go an hour without guidance.  Thus the robe of the
prophet was rent asunder and a piece given unto the East, the West
and the Somewhere-in-between.

                      The Book of Promises

  In time Con the West grew angry with the triumverate and walked away
from the guild.  Nico the East and Bix the Somewhere-in-between also
tired of the prophetic roles and joined Con in the wilderness.

  Only one stood forward to take up the mantle and his name was Cathbad
the Ancient.  And lo, Cathbad spoke with a golden tongue of great and
wonderous gifts that were to be given to his people.  He spoke of a
journey that would be made from the land where people drank nectar
and wore leaves to exactly the same land.  Only people would drink
Guinness and wear torcs.  And lo, verily Cathbad was true to his
promise and did talk.

  Many moons passed and then Cathbad spake to the assembled druids.
He spoke of the approach of that which he had promised.  Within one
moon the druids would have gifts they had never before imagined.

  Many moons passed and then Cathbad spake to the assembled druids.
In his speech there was the word and the word was "Oops".

                       The Book of the Future
---------------------------------------------------------------------

  The text, sadly ends here.  Scholars are still debating the
authenticity of the text.  We will bring you any news on their
deliberation as and when it breaks.
>
> read page 10
You read page 10 in your newspaper.

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 10   --
              Snuttegumma's guide to successful mudsexing
                 How to get qp and levels the easy way

  First of all there are a few things that you need to know before you
read this. You probably knew everything already, but here's just a
reminder so you understand this article perfectly.

  1) Female mudders are worse at mudding than male mudders.
  2) Female mudders are more interested in socialising than
     exploring/killing/questing.
  3) Female mudders don't want to do any honest work for their levels.
  4) Female mudders don't want to become wizards, since this means
     coding and work.

  Once you bear this in mind, we can go on with the guide.

  Before you log in, you need to think about your name. First of all

it's important that you choose a name that sounds distinctively female,
preferably in all languages, or at least those used by the players in
the mud you are going to play. Names ending with an 'a' are good, since
they are in most languages easily recognised as female. Another good
idea is to take your RL name, or that of a friend, as long as it is a
name that will be recognized as female.

Names of world-wide known movie stars or pop singers are also good.

  Next comes your email. It might be a good idea to withhold it, since
you don't want to get loads of mail later on from men you have used up
anyway.

  Now that you have a char in the mud, you need help. You are a measly
level 1, and you don't want to be that. We all know that newbie areas
are for male mudders, so that is not to think about. Instead, the next
step you should take is to find the best guilds. In this case, the best
guilds are not the ones with the best powers, but the ones that have
most players in them, and are newbie-friendly. In these guilds it is
easiest to find nice people who want to help you. Ask a male player of
rather high level to help you out a bit, that you want to join his guild
and need his help.

You shall not only get to join the guild of your choice, but also see to
it that you get past the first few levels. Most people think that helping
an interested female newbie is a joy, and you will probably not even have
to mudsex them to get to level 5 or 6. However, it is extremely important
to hug, snuggle and kiss them every time they kill a monster that gives
you xp.

  The guild you have joined will have a line. This line shall be used well,
since it is one of your greatest weapons. No sword, how unique it may be,
can compare to a guild line. You shall take all opportunities to talk on
it. You shall quickly learn how to emote on the line, and snuggle, hug and
lick everyone, especially the male players. Every time someone says
something nice to you, or agrees with you, you shall hug them, provided
of course that they are male. You shall also talk a lot on the line about
RL. Tell them about every party you have been to, about the cute boy you
saw on the street, and so on. This is also a very good opportunity to tell
everyone repeatedly that you are single in RL. No matter if you are married

with 12 children, to the other mudders you shall be single. This you will
find makes it far easier to get quest points. Also, in using tells to people
you shall use feelings. A good example of this would be:

    tell <maleplayer> hi honey! *snuggle* want to help me with some qp
                      cutie *hugs*

  You shall now try and see who in your guild can and wants to help you.
Quickly sort out the lower levels, and concentrate on mid-to-high levels.
It might also be an idea to sort out the absolutely highest, for example
people that are in the top of quest point lists and so. These people are
often concentrated on playing their own characters, and have little to
spare for socialising. A good tip here is to ask any high-levelled female
players in your guild. Since they must have mudsexed their way to high
levels, they will know who you shall go to for help.

  You shall now have found a number of players who are suitable. Start
snuggling them extremely often on the lines, and ask if they want to
party with you. Make sure you only are in parties with two players, you
and the helper. This makes for a much more intimate time, which makes it
a lot easier to hug, snuggle and kiss him while he is helping you out.
Ask him to help you with quests and experience points without offering
mudsex first. This might work on some weaker men, and you will have
gained quest points for only some snuggling. If this won't work, you
can either try another man, or offer to mudsex him.

  When you trade mudsex for qp, you must think of a few things. The most
important one is to get the quest points before the mudsex. This way you
won't have to mudsex him if the quest has changed, or some reset makes
you unable to finish the quest. A good tip is to solve the quest fairly
late at night. When you have got your qp you can escape from the mudsexing
by claiming your lab is closing, your roommate came home (stress that it
is a female roommate), or any other good excuse. Make sure you promise
that you will mudsex him the next time you see each other. The following
time you can probably squeeze a few more quest points out of him before
you have to mudsex him. It is also important to have a grip on the
qp/mudsex ratio. A sound estimate would be that a 30th part of the
requirement to wiz is worth 30 mins, getting to the emote room included.

  You shall also turn your attention a little to the power guilds, and
players who do an enormous amount of killing. If you find the right
fighter, and mudsex him just a little you can get virtually infinite
amounts of experience points just by a snuggle or a hug.

  As you gain levels it will be harder to find suitable men. Since you
will now have done a lot of quests the lower men you used will not be
able to help you. You need to make it clear to them that they are not
wanted any more, and concentrate on one higher player, preferably the
highest mortal level. He will have made quests enough for you to advance
to the same level as he is at. To get his attention to the full extent
you might have to mudmarry him. If this can be avoided it is a plus,
since it means that you will have to hide any other high-levelled quest
helpers you might find from him, and the fact that you are mudmarried
makes you less attractive to other men.

  Once you have reached the highest mortal level the tough part begins.
The mud you play will probably feature "super-mortal" levels, and these
can be quite hard to reach. This is where you need to work hard for your
quest points.  A good idea now is turn to people already past the highest
level. These can be divided into two categories, the "super-mortals" and
the wizards.  The first step you should take is looking for female
"super-mortals". Without doubt they have mudsexed their way there, and
they can probably give you tips on suitable men. The next step you should
take is to talk a bit to the "super-mortals", and see who of them are
likely to help you in return for mudsex. Remember that many of these
players are grumpy nerds who don't care for other things than mudding.

  If you can, it is very good to have a wizard as helper. The problem is
that most muds don't allow wizards to help mortals with questing. This
can easily be solved if you make some wizard mail you sheets, and you
can mudsex him depending on how good the sheets were. When you are
looking for the appropriate wizard, some good tips are to look for
new wizards, as they most likely will have the quests in fresh mind,
and to look for wizards who have been wizards a while without having
areas. This can mean that they are not interested in coding, and can
imagine spending their time socialising instead.

  The very best way though, is to find a person who stands above the
laws. If you find a highwizard, an archwizard, or even God that is
willing to help you in return for mudsex you are indeed a lucky girl.
On most muds this is a problem, since admin aren't usually inclined
to mudsex, but waste all their time fixing bugs and coding. If you are
lucky, however, you can find a nice wizard who patch you quests, clone
quest objects for you, reset rooms when you want and similar things,
all for a few hours in their workrooms. For a normal wiz this would be
forbidden, but if you are God, who can stop you?

  Some guilds have bad disadvantages that actually force you to play.
One such is the knights' attacks. Here you need to be smart to avoid

problems. A very good idea is to mudsex at least one of your guild
heads, so that any matters of you breaking guild policy can be handled
privately. If your guild has any mortal overseers, you might want to
mudsex a few of them too, to be on the safe side. Also, you should have
a list of excuses ready, and make sure to note what excuses you have
used. A bad link is a very good excuse, the fact that you were mudsexing
can sometimes be viewed as not enough reason by some narrowminded people.
  If you follow this guide, you will find that you will have become a
"super-mortal" without actually doing something of your own. All you did
was mudsex a few men, and we all know that that was what you were after
the whole time anyway.

  If we apply this on Nanny: Make a char with a nice female name, for
example Pamela. The best guilds to join are druids (in what other guild
could Xxxxx become a paragon or Xxxxx become level 19 or Xxxxx get
past level 5?) or knights (just examine the mithril plaque at the
entrance to see where mudsex can get you in this guild). You should
also try to make some acquaintances in the khorne guild, since they
are the most eager fighters, and monks, since they can heal you, and
are often good at questing. Avoid guilds like vampires, where you
actually lose blood points while mudsexing, and are forced to be killed
by other players, or Simyarin where you are forced to cast loads of
boring spells to advance. Once you have mudsexed yourself to the fee
for paragons and enough qp you have succeeded.

  Happy hunting and mudsexing!

Next week we will publish the advanced part:
(provided the author gets the promised quest points)

  The top tips on avoiding marriage.
  The Nanny top 10 list of quest-helping males.
  How to mudsex female players for quest help.
  How to get quest points without mudsexing (writing articles etc).
  How to become a highwizard by (mud)sexing.
>

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 11   --
                        Yet another trip

  Hi, I'm Snafu. Some of you know me...hrm...take that back..a lot of
you know me *grin*. Here is an account of events on my trip to several
cities to meet people i only know from Nanny.

  Actually, I was planning to go to the mud party in Madison, Wisconsin,
but mitigating circumstances kind of blew that out of the water. I was
planning on taking 2 weeks off from work, so I could go. But, I needed
a car. I got the car, but a coworker was sick while on vacation in
Alaska. (apendectomy, ack!). So I couldn't get the required time off.
But, since I was quitting work there anyway, I was able to get at least
a week off from work. I took off Aug 10 (sunday) thru Aug 17 (sunday).
I worked Aug 9 from 10-7.

  At work on Saturday, during lunch, i cashed my check, small as it was.
Saturday night, I decided to leave when my mother went to sleep.
(btw..fear mother ) I hadn't told her I was going on a trip. Fear me.
She would have tried to stop me. I left around 9:00. I left a message
for her on a paper plate. (FEAR). First thing I did was go to the local
branch of my bank and use the ATM machine. Never trust these machines
when you really need them. It took my card! It complained of wrong PIN.
Which is utter bull, because I had used it earlier in the week. Oh well.
Can't bitch with a machine. So all I had so far was my money off my
paycheck. It was a good thing my car was a Geo Metro. They get excellent
gas mileage. I average 40-50mpg.

  I live in Savannah, Georgia (for now) and my first stop was to see Tmo
in Tallahassee, Florida. Tallahassee is about 300 miles from Savannah.
I took I-95 to Jacksonville, Florida, then I-10 to Tallahassee. This took
me around 4 hours. For those who are good at math, yes, I was speeding.
I got one speeding ticket just shy of Tmo's exit. The cop stopped me for
going 90 in a 70 zone. I said "ack". I was promptly informed that this
would be a ticket worth about $180. Ouch. But, after talking to the cop
(who must have been lonely considering it was 1:30am), we arrived on a
smaller number. The ticket was finally written out for 79 in a 70 zone.
The fine for that was only $35 (phew!). I arrived at Tmo's shortly after-
wards. He was actually waiting outside the door with a bottle in his hand.
Grin. Ofc, this was his birthday. Happy Birthday Tmo. Let me tell you now,
Tmo is tall. He is 6'7". I am 5'6". What a contrast. There is a pic of us
together, I'll get to that in a few. We went into his apartment. He had
two guests there already. After his guests left, we logged into Nanny.
His computer setup is sweet as well as his stereo system (intentional
plug). I mudded from a couch behind one of the computers. There is also a
*Press return for more or q to end. >
pic of that. I think now is the time to mention - he has a digital camera.
So we were able to get pictures and put them online within minutes. The

URL is: http://www.digitech.org/~tech/snafu/

There are several good pics there. Nope, none of either of us nude. *grin*
We got along quite good. We went to sleep around 6 in the morning. The
next morning, I met his roommate, Jerome. On sunday, we spent the whole
day being lazy. We stayed at the apartment. We watched a few movies, and
of course we mudded. Then the next morning, we went out for breakfast at
a local restaurant. Ofc, Tmo brought his camera. Once again, pics online.
We then went cruising around Tallahassee. We checked out the local
university. We rode around quite a bit and ended up at the worlds largest
phallic symbol, the Tallahassee State Capital Building. It is over 30

stories high and has two domes outside it. This was a fearsome sight.
We went inside and went straight to the top. We took several pictures from
all sides. Once again, pics online. After that, we went to check out
where his parents live. Nice. Then, we went back to his apartment.
We once again logged in, and announced the pictures. We had mixed reactions
of course. *grin* We stayed up all night and woe..it was now Tuesday morning.

I left for Dallas between 9:00 and 9:30. I say this because i actually left
at 9:00 after dropping Tmo off for work. It was 9:30 before I left the city.
I was on the road a long time. I went thru rest of Florida, then through the
small tip of Alabama, then through the small tip of Mississippi. I then
entered Louisiana, where things got interesting. I had originall planned to
take I-10 from Tallahassee and get onto I-20 by taking I-49 at Lafayette.
I swayed off course, and took US-190. This was a mistake. I had wanted to
get onto US-190 at Baton Rouge. I ended up actually getting onto it around
Covington, at the beginning of the state. The fact that makes this bad was
I could have shaved off a lot of time had i stayed on I-10. Anyway, I was
on US-190, I took this into Baton Rouge, and through Baton Rouge; the
downtown part of Baton Rouge. Another hour lost going through downtown
Baton Rouge. I finally found US-190 again and took that until Opelousas,
where i thankfully hopped onto I-49. I took that to I-20 and it was once
again smooth sailing. I drove into Texas and traveled til I hit Dallas, or
at least the outskirts of Dallas.

I was armed with three phone numbers. Number 1 belonged to Carousel, who lives
in Mesquite, to the east of Dallas. Number 2 belonged to Snooker who lives in
Plano, to the north of Dallas. Number 3 belonged to Dayna, who was living in
Arlington, to the west of Dallas. I arrived into Mesquite. I called each of
them in turn. That day was Carousel's b-day too, her and Tmo both? woowoo.
Happy B-day Carousel. I was now looking for a hotel. Snooker gave some
*Press return for more or q to end. >
suggestions. Dayna gave directions to the house where she was staying so we
could look at more potential hotels to hold a tired wizard. Need I say that
I was tired.  I hadnt gotten sleep at Tmo's nor eaten since I the night
before I left Tmo's.  I don't recommend either. I arrived at Dayna's around
11:30. It took me a half hour to get to Dayna's whereas it usually would take
her 45 minutes.  I had to cross Dallas to get there. I arrived there, and we
went over hotels and finally decided on one. It was a few minutes drive from
where she was.  I arrived at the hotel extremely tired. I crashed. The next
morning, I called Snooker and she got directions to the hotel from the front
desk. She should have gotten to me around 10:30 am. She didn't arrive until
nearly 2:30. Hrm.  She got a bit lost. Maybe, I should have driven to her.
*grin* We then went to eat breakfast (at 2:30 you ate breakfast?) (Yes, I was
breaking my fast.  Remember? No eating for 36 hours?) We then went to a mall
and looked around.  I called Carousel from the mall and asked if she wanted
to go to a movie. We ended up going to see 'Liar, Liar' with her brother,
who also has a character here, known as Dragonwing or Draco. I went back
to the hotel room around 11:30. I crashed once again. I woke up the next
morning called Dayna. I, then, went back over to Dayna's. We left my car
there. She had to return her rental for another one. They had sold the one
she was driving. We then set out to meet Earendil at a book store in a town
to the northeast of Dallas. We had wanted to meet at 2:30. Hrm. Not today.
We were stuck in Dallas traffic and didn't get there until 4:30. Not good.
*Press return for more or q to end. >
Ofc he was not there. We thought for some time. We decided to go to Commerce.
This was nearby and happened to be where Earendil lived and worked. Woowoo.
We ended up at a gas station just outside the university campus. As it
happened someone who worked there knew of him and knew of a few of his
friends. They directed us to a local internet access place a few doors down.
This person, Mike, happened to know Earendil's number. He called and Earendil
was home. Woowoo. Earendil then drove down to the gas station to see us.
We talked for awhile, then decided to go see Nilram and Eris, who happened
to live nearby. We talked with them awhile. Then, we went back to the gas
station and parted ways. Thanks for the beer, Earendil. We went back to
Dayna's, where I logged in for a few. Then, I went back to my hotel room.
The next morning, I left Dallas. I left at 6:30am which was 5:30am in
Atlanta, my next destination.

I drove to Atlanta using I-20 all the way. I arrived there exactly 12.5 hours
later. For those of you good at math, this made it 6:00pm. Not good. Picture
this: 6:00pm + metropolitan city = traffic galore (rush hour). Ack! It took
me an hour to get to Gweedo's. Traffic was backed up and SLOW at several
places. Finally, I arrived at Gweedo's. He lives in Stone Mountain, to the
east of Atlanta. We went out to the local Chili's gathering place , then
went to Taco Mac (Taco Mac rocks). Taco Mac has this wall of taps. (what's
that you say?) Can we say a wall of beer taps. It had over 100 beer taps
*Press return for more or q to end. >
running along one wall. A beer lovers heaven. That's not even mentioning
the menu of over 500 bottled beer that they also serve. After that we went
back to his place. We then decided on a hotel room. Gweedo had to work the
next morning. Finally, we found a decent hotel (sorta). I stayed there that
night. I called Cieran the next morning. She lives in Roswell, to the
north of Atlanta. I drove over to her place. (HILLS) Talk about steep and
curvy hills. *grin* Finally found her house. We then proceeded to become
as busy as ants. We went several places, but always ended back at her house.
We went to go see 'Event Horizon' at a theatre in downtown Atlanta. We also
called Gweedo's work. After the movie, we went to Gweedo's. He was home by
then. We then proceeded to see another movie, 'Conspiracy Theory.' Then,
again, we went to Taco Mac. I had called a co-worker the previous night from
Taco Mac, where I found out that not only did I have Sunday off, as I had
requested, but Monday off too. I had called Elysia in Danville Virginia,
and had decided to come up there too, to see the Danville crowd. That night
I spent the night at Cieran's. The next morning, I left and drove to Danville
Virginia. Danville is a small town on the border of Virginia and North
Carolina. I arrived there at 1:30pm. I wasn't expected until 4 or so. I called
Elysia from a local shopping center. I had mispronounced the name. She was
finally able to decipher where I was. We finally met up at a grocery store.
*smirk* We then went out and ate pizza, as we both hadn't eaten yet. Then we
went and met Sheena and Grifter. Then we found me a hotel to stay at. After
*Press return for more or q to end. >
that, we spent an hour or two chasing towns in border of North Carolina,
looking for a friend of hers. We never found the friend. *smirk* We then
visited another friend of hers. After an hour at that place, we went to
a local restaraunt to eat. Then I went back to the hotel room. I left the
next morning around 9:30 or so. I finally arrived back in Savannah around
4pm. Thus ends a 3000-3500 mile journey of meeting 13 people from this
place we call NannyMUD. The times were fun and the people were interesting.
I plan several more trips in the future, where might Snafu pop up next?

//Snafu

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 12   --
 
 Braised Orc Tenderloin
 with orange sauce
 1/4cup     flour (60ml)
 1tsp       salt (5ml)
 1/4tsp     pepper (1ml)
 1/2tsp     paprika (2ml)
 1/4tsp     allspice (1ml)
 1lb        orc tenderloin (450g)
            sliced thin
 2tbsp      cooking oil (30ml)
 1/4cup     chicken stock (60ml)
 1/2cup     commercial sour cream (125ml)
 2tbsp      orange juice (30ml)
 1tbsp      grated orange rind (15ml)
 1/4tsp     salt (1ml)
 1/2tsp     Worcestershire sauce (2ml)
 
 Combine flour, 1tsp salt, pepper, paprika and all-
 spice in flat dish. Dip slices or orc tenderloin in
 this mixture to coat both sides.
 
 Heat 2tbsp oil in heavy skillet. Add orc slices and
 brown well on both sides. Add chicken stock, cover tightly
 and simmer until very tender, about 30 minutes.
 
 Combine sour cream, orange juice, orange rind, 1/4tsp
 salt and Worcestershire sauce in small pan and heat
 but do not boil. Spoon over orc tenderloin at serving time.
 
          ORC... The other white meat.
 
 Recipe adapted from a recipe appearing in "Good Food
 Cook Book" Margo Oliver Tormont Publications Inc.
 
 Credit for this submission goes to Jem and Mielle.


---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 13   --
Wiz Snafu licks Gurk with a bonecrushing sound.
Wiz Gurk wants Kerish, Snafu and you secretly.
Wiz Kerish blinks.
Wiz Kerish lusts for Gurk.
Wiz Snafu snickers.
Wiz Snafu loves Gurk with a bonecrushing sound.
Wiz Snafu rolls on the floor laughing.
Wiz You softly kiss the palm of your hand and blow your kiss
    affectionately in Gurk's direction. It lands on his forehead!
Rock.
Wiz Gurk grins evilly.
Wiz Gurk pets Thargor.
Wiz Snafu wiggles its bottom.
Wiz Thargor: 'lo folks
Wiz Kerish licks Thargor.
Wiz Gurk gurks you very hard.
Wiz Snafu licks Thargor with a bonecrushing sound.
Wiz Thargor hides behind himself.

Augustus tells you: eval object ob; foreach(ob, users())
         if(ob->query_level() > 20) tell_object(ob, "Rock.\n"); <22:33>

You reply to Augustus: fear.

You told Augustus: print (/obj/player.clones).ffilter(x->query_level()<20
         ? destruct(x) : x->fooble())

...a couple seconds pass...

The friendly clerk tells you: Backstab just left NannyMUD.
The friendly clerk tells you: Carousel just left NannyMUD.
The friendly clerk tells you: Backstab just entered.

You told Augustus: actually, print
         (/obj/player.clones).ffilter((x->query_level()<20) && destruct(x))

Backstab shouts: what the heck

Augustus tells you: bad weifcr <22:35>

Wiz Taren hmms.

You reply to Augustus: hehe.

Wiz You wonder.
Wiz Earendil hides iteratively behind himself.
Wiz Astrodeath raises an eyebrow.
Wiz Kerish licks Taren.
Wiz Augustus: Damn Weifcr made me do it
Wiz Snafu: wtf

Dolemite shouts: what the heck was that

Wiz You blink and peer at Augustus.
Wiz Augustus bonks you on the head.
Wiz Weifcr: You DID that ??
Wiz Taren: exactly what did you do?

Zephra shouts: nice very nice

[Barbers] Weifcr: OH FEAR!
[Barbers] Snafu: who did it? augustus ?
[Barbers] Weifcr: he did print (/obj/player.clones).ffilter(x->
          query_level() < 20 ? destruct(x) : x->fooble())
[Barbers] Snafu: laf!!

Wiz You live in fear.
Wiz Augustus: Weifcr tells you: print (/obj/player.clones).ffilter(
       x->query_level()<20 ? destruct(x) : x->fooble())
Wiz Snafu lives in fear.

Birdy shouts: That was fun...

Wiz You fear Augustus really.

[Barbers] Snafu: laf
[Barbers] Snafu: ya didnt think he'd do it?
[Barbers] Weifcr: oh my.
[Barbers] Snafu rolls on the floor laughing.

Zephra shouts: please one more time

Wiz Augustus: or maybe it was the other one.

[Barbers] Weifcr: sure didnt

A giant foot drops from the sky and squashes Augustus flat.

*Press return for more or q to end. >
Autosave.
Birdy shouts: KICK ME!!!!!

Wiz Kerish chuckles.
Wiz Snafu grins evilly at Augustus.
Wiz Taren: not very smart now was it?
Wiz You look at Augustus and live in fear.


[Barbers] Snafu: laf hard!!

[Seconds Out Information] Beldin enters the game.

Wiz Snafu lives in fear.

The friendly clerk tells you: Beldin just entered.

Wiz Gurk: wtf happened?

[Barbers] Weifcr: laf that hard.
[Barbers] Snafu: nog!!
[Barbers] Weifcr: Oh my. Fear him.
[Barbers] Snafu grins evilly.
*Press return for more or q to end. >
[Barbers] Snafu: my eyes are tearing

Wiz Gurk: (I didnt notice anything)
Wiz Augustus: Teach me for listening to Weifcr

You hear Augustus hmming thoughtfully at you.

Wiz Snafu: beware anything that says destruct
Wiz Weifcr: It wasn't meant to be done. Rather to be giggled at.
Wiz Snafu grins evilly.
Wiz Taren: some players got dested...
Wiz Snafu agrees with Taren.

[Seconds Out] Beldin: how?

Wiz Augustus: Why tell me things if I can't do em?

[Seconds Out] Weifcr: print (/obj/player.clones).ffilter(x->
              query_level()<20 ? destruct(x) : x->fooble())

Wiz Earendil dials up the Psychic Network, and is told that Augustus
    will soon see a few of his levels disappear.  Like around 22 of them.
    He goes "Wow! these people really know what they're talking about!"

[Seconds Out] Snafu grins evilly.

Wiz Beldin: So that you know not to do them if you find them out on your
    own.
Wiz Snafu winks suggestively at Earendil.
Wiz Beldin spanks Augustus on the butt.
Wiz Augustus: I just thought it would print something out.
Wiz Augustus: to me. not the whole mud

[Barbers] Weifcr: oh fear.

Wiz Shanta grins evilly.

Kytten shouts: milan if you're on -- got our stuff

[Barbers] Weifcr: I cant help but laugh.

Augustus tells you: Bad weifcr. <22:38>

[Barbers] Snafu grins evilly at you.


You reply to Augustus: I can't believe you actually did it.

Dolemite shouts: anyone find four orbs?? I REALLY NEED THEM back!!

Wiz Thargor tries to laugh uncontrollably, but fails miserably.

[Barbers] Slag: laugh at what?
[Barbers] Weifcr: Augustus.

Augustus tells you: Well, like I say I thought it would just print
         something out to me. <22:39>

[Barbers] Snafu: laf hard at augustus
[Barbers] Weifcr: He actually typed in a command I sent to him to laf
          about.
[Barbers] Snafu snickers hard and uncontrollably.
[Barbers] You agree.
[Barbers] Slag: what was it?
[Barbers] Snafu: methinks he's trying to find a hole to hide in

Wiz[foo] Astrodeath: laflaflaflaflaf.
*Press return for more or q to end. >
Wiz[foo] Snafu nogs at Astrodeath.
Wiz[foo] You nod atrociously.
Wiz[foo] Weifcr: err.

Wiz Earendil: print users.ffilter(x->query_real_name()=="augustus" ?
    destruct(x) : tell_object(x, this_player()->query_name()+
    " tells you: so long!\n")
Wiz Snafu grins evilly at Earendil.
Wiz You lick Earendil.
Wiz Augustus: I think I had enough of that for today.
Wiz Earendil: go on! It's just, em, print some stuff!
Wiz Augustus: Um, yeah, print some stuff. sounds reasonable.. print...
Wiz Snafu winks suggestively at Earendil.

[Barbers] Weifcr: print (/obj/player.clones).ffilter(x->
          query_level()<20 ? destruct(x) : x->fooble())
[Barbers] Slag: fooble()?
[Barbers] Weifcr: just to have something
[Barbers] Slag: ah heh
[Barbers] Slag: i don't like the ? operator...crashed the mud twice with
          that mofo
[Barbers] Slag snickers.

[Barbers] Snafu: nog

Wiz Beldin: better still, print users->set_playerkilling(1)
Wiz Snafu: laf!!
Wiz You chuckle.
Wiz Gurk agrees with Beldin.
Wiz Snafu grins murderously at Beldin.
Wiz Snafu licks Augustus bloodthirstily.

[Seconds Out] You chuckle helplessly.

Wiz Beldin: or, even better: print users->restore_me()

[Barbers] Snafu: that'd be fearsomne
[Barbers] Slag: i kinda fear what your command does weifcr...maybe i'm
          reading it wrong

You demonically tickle Augustus to death!

Wiz Beldin: nice and insidious

[Barbers] Snafu winks suggestively.
*Press return for more or q to end. >
[Barbers] Weifcr: It would just destruct all players with lev < 20
[Barbers] Snafu: hehe
[Barbers] Slag: that's what i thought
[Barbers] Snafu grins evilly at Slag.
[Barbers] You nod solemnly at Slag.
[Barbers] Snafu: try it with >..snicker
[Barbers] Slag: i like the 'just'
[Barbers] Slag: so he dested all morts?
[Barbers] Snafu: nog!
[Barbers] You chuckle.
[Barbers] Slag rolls on the floor laughing.
[Barbers] Slag cackles gleefully.
[Barbers] Slag: whatta nut
[Barbers] Weifcr: hehe
[Barbers] Snafu winks suggestively.

Wiz Snafu: heh
Wiz Beldin: everyone loses all the xp, coins, levels etc since last
    autosave
Wiz Snafu: noggle
Wiz Beldin: but none of the eq
Wiz Augustus: Hmm, how come people like me can use the print command?
Wiz Astrodeath: sneaky bastard.
Wiz Astrodeath winks.
Wiz Snafu: we can prevent it
Wiz Beldin: for the same reason you can use eval or patch or clone or
    destruct
Wiz Beldin: because it's a legitimate wizcommand
Wiz Augustus: ah. never heard of it.

Avery shouts: Fuck off losers!

The friendly clerk tells you: Augustus regained the connection.

[Barbers] Snafu prints weifcr->fooble();
[Barbers] You giggle merrily.

You softly kiss the palm of your hand and blow your kiss affectionately
to Augustus. It lands directly on his mouth!

An invisible hand flies into the room and pokes you suddenly in the ribs.
You get the feeling it came from Augustus.

[Barbers] Weifcr: When Taren goes 'hmmm' you know something is wrong.

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But there are less pages than that!