Nanny Suicide Prevention

[garetjax]

Today I had the misfortune to watch a player throw away his hard work by committing Nanny suicide.  This amounted to leaving his guild, destroying all autoloaders, leaving all clubs and dying to level 1.  I tried to disuade him but it was no use.  

I've witnessed several people do this in 1 form or another and many times those people regret it sooner or later.  I'm starting this thread to put out a body of work that people can refer to so they can realize what they are about to do or give them ammunition to help pursuade a friend not to go through with it.

So lets hear your stories about Nanny Suicide.  Whether it was you or someone you knew.  Whether it was permanent like my friend's or if it was a simple block_login for a while.  Did you regret it?  What were the ramifications? I think it'd help some people make the right decision....

Who knows, the next character's life you save may be your own  

[Qwer]

I don't think it's so bad. The second time you create them back faster because you already know what and how to do
I never had such problems (yet). I have all my chars but one that was banished by Titleist some time ago so I am not sure I can call that suicide (but you might label it that way ).

I know someone who did multiplay on purpose and telling it to Brom to be banished. He got the banishments of course but started to play again after a while. He just got pissed off then, for some reason that I don't know anymore. These things just happen. I am not sure we can call this suicide... if I'd lose all my chars in Nanny I'd prolly just start the whole thing over if I still wanted to play. I'd have less chars but after a while I'd have the ones that I do actually play, back. True, slowly as I don't have the time I once had.

This person that you are talking of, I guess we have a good chance for him to return after like a couple of weeks, or perhaps a few months. I hope. Lars knows we need all the players we can put our hands on... a part leaves, others 'suicide', and others get scared away by the arches.  

[Yberiel]

I have only seen one 'suicide' as you put it. I do believe it was 2 years ago..
There was this newbie, called Remorse. She became my protégé and I tought her everything I knew back then. She grew up from being a total newbie to a nice loving Elder druid. I did love her as a friend, even though I did not meet her in real life. It is funny how that can work out sometimes.
Anyway, one late evening, swedish time I might say, I entered Nanny to just see what was happening. Over the Druid Line I saw the message of Remorse dying. As we all do, I comforted her. But there was that message again? Remorse died again? I knew she was not that careless, so I was wondering what was going on? It turned out that she was really really angry of someone who belongs to 'the high places' people. She 'killed' herself from what I recall Paragon level 1 all the way down to the 'mortal' level 1. I tried my best to talk her out of it, because no matter what she did, this person would not change its mind anyway. My talk did not have much affect on her. She had made up her mind.
As I got upset over the whole thing myself, I could not stay and watch her 'kill' herself like that for a point that would not change.. I had to logout.
The day after, I recieved a mail from Remorse, explaining why she did what she did. She used Nanny as a place to escape the harsh real life world. And it worked for a while. But when she found out that the people on the 'high places' in Nanny 'ruled' the world as the politcians does in the real world, the world she tried to escape from a few hours/day, she could not stand that. So she 'died' to never return again.

That day was and will be the saddest day in Nanny for me.. I still have hope for her return, even now, 2 years after she left.

Ybbie..

[ladychris]

Oh, I remember Remorse as well Never actually talked to her more than a few words, but her multiple suicide was one of the last things Loreley witnessed as a druid. It was very sad and i remember ppl trying to talk her off her decision (Cyrion was among them if memory serves me well and left druids after that). I know it is hard to dissuade someone that already made up his/her mind, and there is no use to explain them how useless their action is. I hope this thread will help.
Btw now i will not have peace until i know who was it this time

[Ahriah]

I talked to him last night, he wouldnt tell me why he did what he did, but he was slowly getting his autoloaders and clubs back. *shrug*

I think we all go through it, there was one point I vowed hard to not comeback. I went out in search of a new game.... LOL and look at me now ;D still here and still addicted.

It comes in waves there has been times I sit back stunned and think I cannot believe so and so did this or someone said that, How mean, how spiteful. and it can be as small as a comment or silly action. but it all can be miscommunication, or a game of roleplaying.

When I was a newbie I wandered around for a long time, shy (people who know me now....I know your thinking Ive never been shy LOL) and unwilling to ask questions because everyone seemed to be so busy. Hind sight tells me that people thought I was probably some Chacter's 96th Second, but I was a true newbie in the sense. The point is the Arches and Wizzes did intimidate me, Heck the level 5 players intimidated me.

Personally I have worked on Ahriah fiercely, I dont think I could kill her on purpose, but I can remember turning off nanny and saying no more. is that the same thing?

but to change the point..... On being a newbie. I so think there should be a newbie club line.  if  I had of Had someone I could have chatted with I might not have felt so intimidated, I think I was up there in levels before I finally joined druids.... but let me take my hat off for that wonderful Knight who never hesitated to take her time to step in  and help me out, the first one on Nanny who took the time to talk to me, and to this day I am most honoured to be their friend

*hats off to*        CARLISTO          *thug*

[Kherec]

If I ever wanted to quit, for real, I'd probably not 'suicide' my chars. I doubt that would make any difference.

[Yavathol]

I've seen this several times now.  I won't try to explain the motivations behind it, since I just don't know what they are.  I've given up trying to explain motivations for the behavior of others anyway.  Kind of a pointless task that has so far produced an innumerable number of textbooks and dissertations - predominantly at odds with one another - all with the end result of only placing artifical labels on people anyway.  And, let's be honest, being labelled doesn't help anything.  It is not being told you have the flu that cures it.

In general, we all have had times in our lives when something has happened to bring us down, make us feel rather low.  This is part of living life, not abnormal.  How each of us choose to respond to those feelings is what sets us apart.  I hope that most of us, if not all of us, would continue to try and reach out to these people who are obviously acting out from some RL dilemma.  Nothing really happens on Nanny to drive people to do this, only things that echo their real lives.

Personally, I don't judge or condemn any of these players, and simply offer what assistance I am able to give - which for the recent casualty seems to be a significant amount towards the rebuilding part of their cycle.  Trying to talk them out of it may be helpful at times, but I have yet to hear of an account of that working anyway.

I don't think all the players always realize that they can speak with others in the game about RL problems, which can often be helpful especially with the partial anonymity that the game offers.  I have spoken with many players at differing times about things that were bothering them, either in the game or IRL.  I don't mind doing it and have often found that it is an early way to help people not take the more drastic steps.

One of the best parts of having this forum (Kudos to Snaffie) is that it really does help Nanny be a bit more of a real community, and as such, players might be able to learn who they can approach with RL problems, even if they don't really know that person yet.

[Relay]

I have seen my fair share of incidents and encounters with the problems myself and others face on the MUD. Heck, I've been the problem in most cases and yesterday was one of those times.

The person Garetjax is referring to is me...Relay. Yesterday I did a rather irresponsible, or immature act. Call it what you will, I do in fact regret it. I worked for 45 Nanny days on Relay and I had a lot accomplished in my time here.

The problem I faced in RL is still occurring now, and I am still more than ever in the depression of it. Yesterday I took it out on Relay and all my other characters.

I logged on all 8 of my characters, and tried to get them all banned. When they all did except Relay, I persisted to get Mami to banned Relay. She reluctantly, would not and I thank her for it.

As Garetjax pointed out, I did in fact leave the guild, leave all the clubs, rid myself of all autoloaders and finally, killed myself from a near Paragon level 2, to a puny Mortal level 1.  

I regret it all, and I thank Gemfibrozil, Garetjax, Yavathol and all the others why asked me what happend and cared to pay attention to my stupidity at it's finest.  

I am now even more wise to the ways that people act and I hope in the future if anyone ever has the same problems, they will turn to my situation and really think about it.

[Carrion]

Sorry to hear that Relay, and I hope it gets better in RL for you. The only thing I saw of you was suddenly joining, and leaving, Masters, which isn't SUCH an abnormal thing to do Good luck mate!

[Qwer]

Good to see you back. It seems it didn't take THAT much.  

[Snafu]

It is a very regretable thing when someone suicides. I've seen it countless times. I've even talked to a fair share of them to prevent it. An ear toward them is one of the best thing you can do for them. Just having someone to talk to helps immensely, whether the effect is immediate or not. Anyone who is ever in trouble can always talk to me and most of my friends on Nanny know that.

I'm also glad Relay is trying to recover and offer any support I can give.

I've been quite busy lately, RL and its only going to get busier. But, thats a GOOD thing

And thanks for the kudos Yavathol

/Snafu

[RyanT]

Seems like an odd way to deal with your anger/depression if you ask me.  Personally id just lock the character or stop playing.

But to each their own.

Life > Death

[Carrion]

Seems like an odd way to deal with your anger/depression if you ask me.  Personally id just lock the character or stop playing.

But to each their own.

Life > Death

As Relay put it himself, it sure was immature, but let's face it, if it helped it was WAY better than picking on someone in RL, or hurt himself in RL. He also had the guts to admit it, which I would never have

[Qwer]

As Relay put it himself, it sure was immature, but let's face it, if it helped it was WAY better than picking on someone in RL, or hurt himself in RL. He also had the guts to admit it, which I would never have

I probably am the person who would do something lame as that too. I just get very angry sometimes, and I do little stupid things, like fighting friends/family for small reasons and things like that... it is pretty stupid but I guess I am more selfish than I should. But these things are hard to change, I wouldn't even know how to start it. I also have a hard time admitting if someone is right and I am wrong. It's just that I am usually very convinced that I am right. Sometimes later I realise that I was wrong; anyway I don't admit it, or very very rarely. People does say that I can be a very difficult person, I mean because of this, but I don't do it all the time and otherwise I am a pretty nice guy I guess.  

[poogie]

Like Snafu I've seen the suicides lots of times and I try to talk to the person, let them know I'm there to listen to them....whatever they want to say for however long they need to talk.
I don't think anyone here can say that they've never done anything stupid, especially on Nanny in our surreal world. Once I had some issues with a friend and so I block login'd my chars. That sucked for the time and I ended up creating new chars but at least I didn't distruct my old ones. I offer that as a temporary solution.
For people that feel the need to do such things because their rl situation is a mess I suggest talking to a professional. It doesn't make you a weak person, that's for sure. If you had some physical problem most people would go to see a doctor to get it fixed. The mental aspect should be just as well taken care of, if not better.
I think just about everyone knows that I suffer from well, it's bipolar 2 which is exactly like depression so I still call it that. I know what it's like and you can't control it. The same goes for any other mental issues. I'll get off my soapbox now but know that this comes from years of being depressed and I don't want others to have to suffer.

/Poogie who is getting better!!!!!