The NannyMUD Times issue 1996 November.

[Polar]

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 1 -

The NEW NannyMUD Times, Fourth issue. 961101

|Page  2: Editorial.
|Page  3: Interview with an Charmangle.
|Page  4: Confession of a bug abuser.
|Page  5: Playerquestion of this month: Which is the best player in Nanny?
|Page  6: The unofficial NannyMUD PK-guide.
|Page  7: Wizards workrooms - This is how the look.
|Page  8: What is Sweden really like? - The story of an american in Sweden.
|Page  9: New feature: Quest reviews.
|Page 10: Your monthly Movie review.
|Page 11: Advertisment: TRY OUT THE PLAYERVILLAGE!
|Page 12: Read what the wizards talk about on the wizline.
|Page 13: Last months Competition - Answers
|Page 14: The verse of the day.
|Page 15: Ask Madame D.
|Page 16: Aunt O's gossip column.


The NannyMUD Times  page 2


Editorial.

Ok, we're back!

One month goes fast.
This last month has been filled with events...
at least for those of you who attended the party in Orebro.
The last issue was a huge success.  We noted an all time high with the sales.
291 issues of the October issue were sold.
This makes us confident that a paper like this is needed in NannyMUD, and
we will continue to give you the latest news, information, and gossip.
Even though some wizards want us to shut this paper down, we break for no one.

Ok, this issue is, as usual, filled with features for you. We have an
interview with the comeback of the month, Mr. Charmangle. We start a new
feature... reviews of all the quests in NannyMUD. Also we welcome a new
writer for the paper this month, Carg. He will give you reviews of movies.
We give you the chance to get a peek at the wizards' workrooms. We also found
*Press return for more or q to end. >
out whom you players considered the best player in NannyMUD.  Plus all the
regular columns.

Also, a huge: WELCOME must go to Iceblink, who will start work with the
English in the paper. Due to the amount of typos in the paper, his help is
much appreciated.
Note: He wanted me to make it clear that he only typofixed four pages.
      This page, Interview, Advertisment and the quest reviews.

I've noticed, from the comments I get about this paper, that everyone has
his or her favourite page.  Some like the PK-hints, some like the horoscope,
some like the gossip, and some like the interviews.  Well, you might find this
paper filled with all different types of columns. I just want to make you able
to find your personal favourite page. But my main goal is to make this a paper
for the players and not for the wizards.


In last issue's gossip column, there was some evil gossip about three
persons to whom I wish to apologize. I have talked with all three of you and
apologized. I'm sorry that I didn't find that sooner and remove it faster
than I did. It was all my fault and I will do my best to make sure no one gets
attacked like that again. You know who you are and I hope you accept my
apology.


After last issue, I got a lot of comments from wizards:
'your paper is nothing but a sleazy tabloid'
Well, no matter what this paper is or isn't, it's still gonna be here.
This paper is the most read NannyMUD Times ever, and it will continue to have
an issue every month. We keep up our work, our readers read and enjoy,
and some wizards whine.  Let's keep it that way, shall we?

 /Le'Clerk - Main editor.                                               
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
 leclerk@nannymud                                                     
 lick.me@plea.se  (yes, this IS my email adress)                       
 Jonas Sjoberg                                                         
 Pl 1412                                                               
 694 00  Hallsberg                                                     
 Sweden                                                               

[Polar]

INTERVIEW WITH A CHARMANGLE!

Interviewer: Leclerk.

Playername:          Charmangle
Realname:            Nicholas Hogberg
Age:                 24
Born:                August 8th, 1972
Starsign:            Leo
Lives:               Orebro, Sweden
Seconds:             Manwe, Pwyll, Overdogg, Nemezis
First time on Nanny: June 1993
Total time on Nanny: 63 days



You say: you where a highwizard before, and then you suddenly left. now you
         came back. what did you do in the meantime?
Charmangle says: I was doing my military service on Sando, just outside of
                 Kramfors.


You say: oh, what did you serve as?
Charmangle says: I served as a firefighter. Even though I was totally against
                 the idea of military service at all, I actually found that I
                 liked doing something for the country that was kind of
                 constructive
You nod solemnly.


You say: how long did you serve?
Charmangle says: Well, depending on what you mean by how long, I was drafted
                 2 times, and from the first time I was drafted, the time was
                 about a year...
Charmangle says: But the actual service as a firefighter was half a year
You nod solemnly.
Charmangle says: I was first drafted to a normal service and then applied

                 for a non-military one.

You say: you came back.. and found your area closed. do you plan to open it up
         again?
Charmangle says: Well, yes. I am working on that right now
Charmangle says: But there will be some changes in the area. First of all I
                 have to recode all the
Charmangle says: rooms to fit the new lib. Then I have been removing the old...
                 let us call them... bugs. Like the reappearing Ghost of Huor.
                 And a couple of other minor changes.
Charmangle says: But the players will have to find them out themselves. Smile


You say: But will the old legendary items still exist and/or will you add more
         new things to your realm?
Charmangle says: I plan to add more things as time runs along, yes, but not for
                 the first reopening. About the items... I hope they will be
                 allowed to stay in the game, but that is finally up to Leowon.
Charmangle says: But I guess you are refering to things like: Ottar and his
                 sword Ebharing, Thuringwethil and her cloak of shapechanging.
                 If all goes as I want, they will be back again! Smile


You say: Do you plan to create something else for the mud?

Charmangle says: If you mean something new ? Well then the answer is yes, of
                 course. I am working on a whole new area of my realm. A
                 place all who have searched through my area know as: Doriath.
Charmangle says: I also plan to add a horrible place called Nan Dungortheb,
                 the castle of werewolves, to my area.


You say: You were working with a guild when you were here earlier.  Will you
         finish your work on that guild?
Charmangle says: Well, let's just say I still have the code. And more than that
                 I'll just say: No comment! Smile
Charmangle says: I have enough to do with my area, etc. for the moment! Smile

You say: But can't you give us some information about the guild?.. What was the
         name of the guild? What was the basic idea of the guild? Some
         info...
Charmangle says: The name of it was: Nightblades. They are supposed to be a
                 guild of assassins influenced by the Japanese ninjas.


You say: When you look at your area, you can't fail to notice your huge
         influence by adventure fantasy names. What is your fantasy
         background?
Charmangle says: Well I have had a huge interest in fantasy ever since I was
                 6 years old.
Charmangle says: That was the first time my mother read J.R.R Tolkien's Lord of
                 the Rings to me at my bedside
Charmangle says: It took her about 1 year to finish it.
Charmangle says: But, when she did finish it, I kept on reading it over and over
                 again. Then I moved on to reading other books like:
                 Silmarillion, and most of tolkiens works. * As you might
Charmangle says: have noticed my area is mostly based on silmarillion.
Charmangle says: other authors also got my attention like: Ursula K. LeGuin
                 and her books about Ged the mage.
Charmangle says: Stephen Donaldson's books about the White gold wielder,
                 David Eddings books about Belgarion and his adventures,
                 Robert Jordan's books about Rand Al'thor * I THINK Rand has
                 read those books too Smile *
Charmangle says: But the absolute most interesting books I have read, except
                 for Tolkien's, is Gay Gavriel Kay's trilogy about Fionavar!
Charmangle says: Another part of my fantasy interest was, of course, roleplaying
                 games, from the age of 9 *when I first was introduced to the
                 English language*
Charmangle says: I played roleplaying games like: Lord of the Rings,
*Press return for more or q to end. >
                 Rolemaster, Dungons & Dragons, Vampire * Or the World of
                 darkness in general* and a lot of other games.
Charmangle says: But I never was very interested in computers at all before
                 I started to play Nanny! Smile
Charmangle says: Actually, I didn't know how to turn on a computer before I
                 started to play here! But, as I did, I got more and more
                 interested, and as I learned to code LPC, I also took
                 computer courses such as C and C++ programming and
Charmangle says: computer handling in general!
You smile happily.


You say: You play roleplaying games? You play regularly?
Charmangle says: Yes, but not as often as I used to when I was younger.
                 Nowadays, I have a group that plays about once every two
                 months. Most of them are players on this mud too!:)
Charmangle says: We play a RPG *roleplaying game* called Vampire.
Charmangle says: It is based on the books of Anne Rice!


You say: Is that the rpg you find the coolest?
Charmangle says: Yes, most definitely. There are other good games, such as

                 Rolemaster *which I play in a Tolkien environment of course
                 And the Swedish variant of Dungeons and Dragons.
Charmangle says: But these don't have the dark and hostile feeling you get when
                 you play Vampire. It is really a world of darkness. * If
                 you see the film "Interview With the Vampire", you'll
                 understand what I mean.*


You say: What was your first impression of Nannymud?..
Charmangle says: I thought it sucked! *remember I didn't like computers at
                 that time*
Charmangle says: The first thing that happened to me was that I went 2 north
                 of church and was utterly lost!
Charmangle says: As I wandered into the cemetery. Suddenly, I saw this: Fce
                 comes parachuting down from the sky wearing a pair of
                 reebok shoes.

You laugh.
Charmangle says: Of course, I thought it was a monster so I fled. But whereever
                 I went that darn Fce followed me. *A wizard tagging a poor
                 newbie*
Charmangle says: And the strange THING kept telling me to stop. I, of course,

                 still not suspecting that it wasn't a monster, thought it was
                 about to kill little old me.
Charmangle says: So I did the only decent thing...I quit!
Charmangle says: Then one day I was sitting in the students' pub here in
                 Orebro, and a friend of mine comes up to me saying:  He's the
                 one!  ...and points me out to someone.
Charmangle says: This someone comes up to me and says: Hey You, are you
                 Charmangle on NannyMud ?
Charmangle says: I answered truthfully as always: Huh? que? What?
Charmangle says: So he continues: When a wizard talks to you, you should
                 answer. I have powers you couldn't begin to comprehend.
Charmangle says: Well anyway, to make a long story short, we became friends
                 and I kept on playing.


You say: who was that friend?
You say: Does he play nanny now?
Charmangle says: Oh I forgot to say that.  He was, of course, the wizard Fce
                 that had followed me and tried to talk to me since he noticed
                 I was playing from his hometown.
Charmangle says: He later changed his name to Asarius.
You say: Ah, good ol' Asarius.

You cheer enthusiastically.
Charmangle blushes.
Charmangle says: Well nowadays only the old players know about him. He hasn't
                 played in a long time.


You say: When was it that you started playing?
Charmangle starts to think of the ancient days trying to bring forth the
memory of his birth on NannyMud.
Charmangle says: I think it was just before the summer of '94, or was it the
                 summer of '93?
Charmangle says: One of them...I'm not sure
Charmangle says: Do you know ?
You say: I started playing autumn of '93.
Charmangle says: I think I began playing just before the summer of '93!
Charmangle thinks he is becoming senile.


You say: Ok, you were a highwizard when you left, now you are an elder wizard.
         Do you plan on becoming active as a highwizard again?
Charmangle says: Since I haven't been playing for a year, I am happy recoding
                 my area, cleaning up some code. But for the question if I
                 plan to get back to highwizard, I must answer, no.
Charmangle says: I need time to get back in the saddle and learn the new
                 stuff. Reopening my area, expanding, etc.
Charmangle says: I help when I can, with questions and code aid just as I
                 did before! Smile


You say: If you were to change Nannymud, what would you change?
You say: You are God for one week. What would you remove, add, change?
Charmangle says: Actually I really like the recent changes here. I think the
                 Admin has done fantasic work, even though it might not
                 have appeared too good
Charmangle says: to wizards that were forced to change their code. The reforms
                 that have been made are really good in many ways.
Charmangle says: Like the attempt to make Nanny's topography more understandable
Charmangle says: It is not an easy task to move areas so they fit in where
                 they are placed.
Charmangle says: A lot of other strictly coding things are very good too. I
                 mentioned that I had to recode my entire area to fit the new
                 system, and even though I thought it was a pain in the **s to
                 do it, I have to admit it is really good for the mud.
You nod solemnly.

Charmangle says: As to what I would like to change... Well, I do think Nanny
                 could use a mage guild that deals with the elements.
Charmangle says: That is in the workings but I still miss it. If I were in
                 charge, I would also like to change the feelings between the
                 Administration and the other players.
Charmangle says: Unfortunately there are often a lot of complaints about the
                 admin and their work, which in turn creates anger from
                 their side.
Charmangle says: The admin works very hard to make the mud into a game that
                 is as fun to play as possible. Even though everyone might
                 not agree with this, it is my opinion that they do!
Charmangle says: When they get too many complaints about things they have
                 worked very hard with, they tend to get a bit annoyed and take
                 actions that further the complaints.
Charmangle says: Well, who wouldn't get a bit angry when you don't get
                 appreciation for something you have possibly worked on for,
                 let's say, 40-50 hours.
Charmangle says: Coding labor of course...Smile
Charmangle says: But, as I said, the thing I would like to change the most is
                 the atmosphere between players.
Charmangle says: All the players that are getting as old as I am in the mud
                 do nothing but talk about the good old days

Charmangle says: But to be quite frank, the good old days weren't that
                 good for everyone.
Charmangle says: Wizards helping mortals to playerkill, players getting to
                 max lvl, max stats in 4-6 hours.
Charmangle says: That is not the kind of thing that makes the mud more fun to
                 play, even though we might at times think questing etc. is a
                 drag.


You say: I guess you didn't like Magic's castle then?
Charmangle says: Well of course I did like it, but to be completely honest with
                 you, it was a bit too good! There was a monster that you
                 killed in one heal at most.
Charmangle says: When he died, you got: A plate, boots, cloak, gloves, really
                 good weapon, and 10k gold.
Charmangle says: That was almost a full equipment round.
Charmangle says: Took you about 5 min.
You nod solemnly.


You say: Ok, what area did you enjoy the most when you played as a mortal?
Charmangle says: Tulkas Of course! *I'm after all a Tolkien fan*
Charmangle says: But there were other ones
Charmangle says: like: Brom's, Magic's, Crystal palace, Banshee's.
Charmangle says: Among the best quests, I count: Banshee year quest, Tulkas ring
                 quest *before the changes*, and Kobayashi quest!
Charmangle says: Banshee's year quest is really good because it is fairly
                 easy to solve and yet not too easy. It takes you a while but
                 you can solve it even as a beginner.
Charmangle says: Tulkas, I like for much of the same reasons. You don't have to
                 have a great knowledge of the mud to solve it. I solved it
                 at a very low level the first time... and this only with the
                 knowledge I had from his books.
Charmangle says: Tolkien that is
Charmangle says: Chrisp's whole area was one of the best in the mud at those
                 times, so his quest was quite neat too.


You say: Did you ever have a quest in your area?
Charmangle says: Yes I had a quest, it was called: Quest for the Soulstone.
                 It took you running around almost all of my area.Smile
Charmangle says: Didn't You solve it ?Smile
You say: Maybe i did.  Don't remember Cool



You say: Ok, what is your opinion about playerkilling in Nannymud?
Charmangle says: I have always been for playerkilling as long as the players
                 choose it themselves.
Charmangle says: The current situation is quite a satisfactory one, where you
                 choose when you want to be a playerkiller, and _if_ you want to
                 be one. There is even a chance to regret your decision and get
                 back your guardian angel.
Charmangle says: This is good. I didn't like it when there were several guilds
                 that didn't allow playerkilling at all. Like the old mages.
Charmangle says: I believe such choices should be up to the players, and now
                 they are!


You say: Ok, you said you just came back from your military service. What will
         you do now? In RL that is.
Charmangle says: Well I'm at the moment studying at the school, redoing some
                 exams I missed during the year I was doing my service. At
                 the same time, I'm looking for some jobs etc., but I still
                 need at least a year before I get my full diploma.

You say: What are you studying?
Charmangle says: Well, since I do have my C level in marketing I thought I'd
                 finish the A level too.. Smile
Charmangle says: For those who don't know the Swedish system of education,
                 you always start at the A level which is a half year's
                 studies
Charmangle says: and then continue with the B level if you have graduated
                 from A and then on to C
You nod solemnly.
Charmangle says: But I kind of missed some exams on the A level which made
                 it hard for me to get my diploma in marketing
Charmangle says: I still have to finish the A level too


You say: What kind of job are you looking for?
Charmangle says: As an executive in marketing and management at a bigger
                 company.
Charmangle says: That is what I've studied for!


You say: What earlier jobs have you had in your life?
Charmangle says: Well I have had quite a lot of different jobs. A gymnasium
*Press return for more or q to end. >
                 teacher *That is about the same thing as highschool* teaching
                 history and Social sience, a personnel executive *in charge
                 of the personnel of a part of a company*, as a litter cleaner
Charmangle says: Those are most of the employments I have had. Smile
Charmangle says: oh, and I worked as a waiter and a bouncer too...


You say: Do you have a girlfriend?
Charmangle says: Depends on what you mean by a girlfriend. During '96 I
                 haven't had any lasting relationships at all. I meet girls
                 quite regularly, but nothing lasting.
Charmangle says: I've still got it for one of my old gf's. About 8 months
                 after we broke up, I fell in love with her again.
Charmangle says: But she has a boyfriend now so... Smile


You say: ok, i know you played from the University of Orebro. How do you look
         upon playing from there?
Charmangle says: Well, I think there has been a really good exchange of
                 friendship here. I have always known all of the players
                 from Orebro no matter from what location in Orebro they have
                 been playing.
Charmangle says: Orebro is a good site to play from since you usually sit
                 together with other players and get the possibility to talk
                 to them in RL.


You say: ok.. I'll wrap this up now..
You say: We'll do a word association... I say a name or something with
         association with nanny.. and you say the first thing that comes into
         your mind..


You say: Anna?
Charmangle says: Guilds
You say: Iceblink?
Charmangle says: Friend/high ranking khorne
You say: Traste?
Charmangle says: Friend/A person with quite sane and good ideas
You say: Viper?
Charmangle says: One of the first persons who showed me how to use LPC.
You say: Dragonsguild?
Charmangle says: YES, FUN, BS == NOT, A great piece of coding, BEST, Kickass
Charmangle says: Well the minor bugs like being able to use attack spells

                 when you were a ghost are not that good!
Charmangle grins evilly.
You say: Nymph?
Charmangle says: Hmm...I'm sorry to say, not much. I never had much do do
                 with him/her!
You say: Radagim?
Charmangle says: A good fellow. I thought he was a flap until I met him in
                 real life. A good playerkiller.
Charmangle says: He really knows how to party!:)


You say: ok.. this sums this interview up.
Charmangle nods solemnly.
You say: I thank you for your time.
You shake hands with Charmangle.
Charmangle shakes hands with you.

[Polar]

Confessions from a bug abuser  - A column written by Emperor Hans the dark
=============================

First of all, I would like to say that I don't advocate bug abusing. Also,
I'm not claiming to have found, or even used, all of the bugs I'm going to
talk about, I'm merely telling a good story. But all these bugs actually
existed in Nanny, a long long time ago. They have been fixed, of course,
and those caught exploiting them have been dealth with properly. And I am
read page 4
by no means blaming the responsible wizards, since where there is code,
there are bugs.


o The stupid smartmonster

  The code for monsters generally depend on some 'standard' monster code. A
  few years ago, Padrones smartmonster was one of those standard monsters. In
  that code, you could set the monster to be friends with other monsters, so
  they would help each other in fights. One day, an admin decided to change
  the code in the smartmonster, and didn't do enough testing. The result was
  that all monsters in the mud that used smartmonster (and that was quite a
  lot), suddenly had no friends. The mortals at the time ran around like
  maniacs to kill monsters that normally were very hard to kill because of
  their friends (Kells party being one example).


o The recoding of the drop command

  When a mud first opens, there are always plenty of bugs. One very polpular
  one, that came with old mudlibs, was to try and 'drop -2000 coins'. Yes, in
  some places you would actually get 2000 coins from that. However, wizards
  have a tendency to notice and fix these kind of bugs right away, and they
  will from then on only live in our memories..... until the admin decide to
  recode the drop command. Smile The drop command was improved _a lot_ a few
  years ago, when you could suddenly 'drop keys' instead of doing 'drop key'
  over and over and over, plus a lot of similar improvements. However, they
  forgot the test for negative money, so once again, people went around
  droping huge piles of negative money on the ground. And poor newbies doing
  'get all'...

o The revenge of the tax payers

  Well, we all know the village Bailiff, and we all love to hate him. Well,
  this one time (a very short amount of time, I should add), the Bailiff
  decided to give some money back. Imagine the surprise you would get when
  standing on the village green, and you see something like:
  Bailiff says: I see you haven't paid your tax, <your name>
  Bailiff takes -2600 coins from you.
  And that day, whenever Bailiff entered a room, it was like he was the leader
  of the MUDs biggest party. He had a whole band of begging players following
  him around wherever he went. Some people got pretty rich that day.


o Taking from the poor, giving to the rich

  This one is serious and advanced cheating, and combines two bugs to actually
  gain something. The spell casting diploma is a well known and widely used

  item among playerkillers. The problem is that it's pretty damn expensive,
  and playerkillers tend to be quite poor because of all the healing they need
  to buy, without getting any rewards (except the joy of killing a fellow
  player, of course Smile. Well, two players found out that when you get the
  diploma, there passed some time until you actually paid. This meant that you
  could get the diploma, then drop all your money. The problem now, was that
  you would walk around with negative money, and when you would get some
  money, it would all even out again. So... how do you get rid of negative
  money? Well, once again, something that is well known among playerkillers is
  the long fingers spell. This was cast on the player, and some of the
  negative money was transferred to the casting player. So... the player
  logged on a trash-character that had only one purpose: to store negative
  money. The first character would get the spell casting diploma, and then let
  the trash character remove all the negative money. Then, he would take his
  money again, log off the trash character, and then have a diploma "for
  free". This type of bug abusing breaks just about every rule in the game.


      ----------[ Special thanks to Oriole and Mym for ideas ]---------


The NannyMUD Times  page 5


I thought i should find out what player was considered the best in NannyMUD
and what might be a better way to find out than to ask the players?

I asked this question to all players logged on at October the 23th at
2am and at October the 24th at 10am to get spread out comments from both
american and european players.

This month player question where:
=================================
Hi, I am Leclerk. I am writing on a page for NannyMUD Times to get to know
who the best player in NannyMUD is. I will ask 50-60 players who they think
are the best player, and show the replies i get. Your name will be anonymous
unless you include it in the reply you give me. If you think its hard to
answer just one player, you can give more than one player in the answer. The
question i ask you: Who do you think is the best player in NannyMUD (all
categories)?


The answers i got:
==================

-: gabe

-: Cherwil and his seconds

-: Morwen

-: I thinkl that would be Nadrak, Jesus, Beryllium. ..*smile*

-: probally cherwil;) in my opinion atleast

-: Mammuth

-: Deathjester

-: Deathjester plays the best considering which guild he's in.

-: I would have to say Oriole (leave me anonymous)

-: Hi there leclerk, well the best player is absolutley Oriole, she dominates
   the quests and puzzles like noone else!

-: Mym of course! thats me

-: hmm.. Mordor och co.

-: I would say Hrafnur or Oriole

-: i am the best player

-: Umm.. could I perchance get back to you.  I just got married and well...

-: I think Lance and Wartox are the best players. They are kind and loyal,
   not demeaning and arogant like some people are. They really make me feel
   at home on Nannymud.

-: Oriole

-: sabrakon

Mistress tells you: I think that Eolair ( the now Retired RT knight) is the
                    greatest player ever, and you can include my name too Smile

-: I dont know. I am new here in NannyMUD.

-: sorry i havent a clue Smile

-: and mourdraug

-: i think cor is the best

-: wink, i think... Smile

-: Oriole ofc!

-: snooker

-: hmm.. Must be you! nah.. you're too sick and twisted... hmm... cherwil?

-: Hello...lagging terribly..Best player here is Cancer.As you maybe have
   noticed..Smile

Silmar tells you: Questing: Oriole.. Or she might have the best sheets though,

                  don't know that. Smile And for the killing part.. i guess that
                  would be Rhuarc/Curunir and all the other guys he is ..
                  (or me ofc Smile Don't need to stay anonymous..

-: Leclerk rox too ofc

-: who's the best? BurnDark

-: that would be oriole

-: Hmm....jag svara nog Allyene (hon ar utan tvivel den sallaste spelare i
   Naay) Tas (den roligaste) Nadrak (coolaste PK) Leclerk (trevligast Wizz =)

[Translated:
-: Hmm....i think ill answer Allyene (she is without doubt the nicest player
   in Nanny) Tas (the funniest) Nadrak (coolest PK'er) Leclerk (nicest Wiz =)]

-: Whistler

-: snuttegumma

-: morrrdor

-: akasha

Hodd tells you: Not that hard to answer. Smile  Oriole.   /Hodd

Guldy tells you: i think seego, gabe and myself should be reconned as the best
      players. seego because he is so kind, gabe because he is so powerful, and
      myself because i am going to become the best wiz ever seen in nannymud.

[Guldy told me in a later tell i could put his name in]

-: oriole

-: sure not right now

-: me Smile

-: hmm hard question i dont know that many persons, but the best i know is
   nadrak

-: Hmm, well I think the only way to know who is the best player is to party
   with them or see them in action. I haven't seen eo. in action so the
   question is rather hard to answer. Though comparing them I have seen I
   think Oriole is a good alternative.

-: I think the best is Sanitarium, or Nihil and Janick. Thank u for
   questioning =)


List of answers:
================
I took myself the freedom to list the persons in the answers in a small list.
I only did this for my friend the exalted wizard Beldin.
Total number of answers: 54.

1. Oriole 10
2. Cherwil 5
3. Nadrak 3
4. Deathjester Gabe Leclerk Me 2
8. Akasha Allyene Beryllium Burndark Cancer Cor Curunir Eolair Guldy Hrafnur
   Janick Jesus Lance Mammuth Morwen Mourdraug Mym Nihil Rhuarc Sabrakon
   Sanitarium Seego Snooker Snuttegumma Tas Wartox Whistler Wink 1

Note: This is not to be seen as a 'best player' list. Its just a list of the
      answers i got. It might give you a picture over what player that is
      considered the best tho.

Note2: Dont consider the answers on 'Leclerk' as serious. Cool

Stay tuned for more playerquestions.

/Le'Clerk


The NannyMUD Timespage 6



How to PK - The unofficial Nannymud PK guide.


This guide is splitted up into 4 parts.

Part 1 - Introduction to PK.
Part 2 - A study of PK techniques.
Part 3 - Clients - How to use them in PK and normal play.
Part 4 - Usefull hints from various PK'ers to get you started.


This is part 3. The last part in this guide will be published in the next
issue of The NannyMUD Times, the previous parts is available in backissues
of The NannyMUD Times.


Part 3 - Clients - How to use them in PK and normal play.



Clients:
The best, most effective and easiest way to play is ofcource to play with
help of a client program. Most clients on the market supports the basic
features that will help you in your play. Not only in PK but even in regular
play. Clients such as: tintin++ (for unix based computers), zmud (win311,
win95, winNT), tf (unix), pmf (unix). Those mentioned supports the basic
client features such as: advanced aliases, triggers, macros, scripts and some
of them supports gagging.


* Aliases.

Well, i guess you all know how aliases works. You set a word as an alias to
a command, and then when you type the word you will perform the command.
This can be used with the muds shell. But if you use it together with a client
you can achieve much better result. Create much more advanced aliases.
Such as, when entering a room where you know there is a monster. You just
type 'k' to attack that monster and 'p' to get you to your favourite healing
place. In PK, it can be used to easily switch the target you are killing.
If you have 5 attack commands. You set '1' '2' '3' '4' '5' for your attack
commands towards a certain target. Then with one alias you change the target
for your attacks. 'kk saxit' 'kk pendragon' like that. Or even better and more
advanced. Whenever a pk'er attacks you the target will be set to that pker.
Now just 1 2 3 4 5, and your attacker takes a flight to wonderland.
Also, with a client you can have unlimited aliases (only limited to your hd)
while in NannyMUD there is a limit.


* Triggers.

A trigger will perform a command when a certain text is sent to your computer.
Example. When you get text 'Saxit died.' you perform 'laugh some mist'.
The most common usage of this feature is to trigger to follow a pker or to
autoattack a pker at entry. There are way more things a trigger can be used
for. When you get the text 'Seego hits you.' you perform 'party say Attacking

Seego at green.' Triggers can also be used to change your aliases.
One usefull alias in normal play is 'The girl gives you a note.' then preform
'drop note'. The usage of a trigger is a really helpful tool. Try out the
nice trigger 'Snuttegumma leaves %1.' '%1' and you will see some effect of a
trigger.


Macros.

Macros is basically the same as aliases. But in a macro you create more than
one command. For example, if you have a macro 'pub' 's;e;e;n;e', if you stand
in the church and type 'pub' you will end up in the pub. This can be used
to get you faster and more safely to your favourite healing places. Beware
of Harry and vicious Simyarin spells tho.


* Scripts.

The same as macros, just that these are not linked to a certain command. This
ones are saved on files and loaded upon usage. If you have a file called
'year_of_banshee' and when you load that file in you will perform the commands
written in that file.


* Gaging.

If you gag something, that text will not be shown on your computer. A similar
feature is substitute, when you recieve a text something else will appear on
your computer. Example, gag 'Autosave.' will never show that text on your
computer. substitute '%1 arrives with %2 falcon.' '%1 arrives.' will make
the text 'Seego arrives with his falcon.' be shown on your screen as
'Seego arrives.' Some pkers use gag very rarely, i use gag a lot. Depending
on how good your link is 'gag' and/or 'substitute' can be very useful.
For example i gag all unimportant information as 'Lumberjack sings:', and i
substitute all attack messages to one short message like 'You massacre Seego
into small fragments.' 'You MASS Seego.' To make information easier to spot
and makes it easier to handle the useful information. If you play on a slow
modem i guess you understand some practical usage with gag and substitute.
You can also easily gag away things like the hitmessages from the Katana and
the spam text from the demonblade.


I must say that out of my experience of trying diffrent types of clients,
ZMUD beats them all. ZMUD is a mudclient for Win311, Win95, WinNT. It runs
with most types of winsock prgs. ZMUD is shareware, you can get the latest
version for free to use for one month. Registering price is $20. Two features
that makes ZMUD beat all the other clients. 'statusbar' and 'automapper'. The
statusbar makes it possible to store information in a little statusbar on
your screen to make it easier to keep a track on. For example, i put
information of my own HP/SP in the statusbar and gag it away from the screen.
I also put information of the shape of my opponent in the statusbar, and
*Press return for more or q to end. >
gaging that text away from screen. I use this while i also gag away all 'miss'
attack msgs + the 'tickles' and 'grazes'. This would mean that a regular
monster fight might look like this:

You HIT Warder.
You MASS Warder.
You HIT HARD Warder.
Warder HIT you.
You MASS Warder.
You HIT HARD Warder.
Warder HIT you.
You MASS Warder.
Warder died.

Compare this to your own spam you get during fights.
The automapper in ZMUD makes it possible for you to walk around the mud, then
the client automatically creates a map for you. It is VERY advanced and a must
see if you havent seen it. Basically, you can type 'warder' and no matter
where you are standing the client will keep track of where you where and get
you the fastest way to 'warder'. Type 'pub', 'shop', 'pet', 'milkbar' and you
will get there as fast as your link allows. Since nannymud have a really
mixed map with illogical dirs, you can create a new 'map' for each wizards
*Press return for more or q to end. >
area. You can print your maps, you can paint the maps yourself, you can give
information that you want to see a special message everytime you enter a
specific room.

Well, do i need to say more than *ZMUD KICKS ASS*
Get it, learn it, use it, and love it!



To be continued.

/The K Killing Korp

[Polar]

The NannyMUD Times page 7

Wizards workrooms

Have you ever wondered what the rooms where the wizards hang out looks like?
No more need to wonder! We now present for you the wizards workrooms!

There are a lot of workrooms missing from this list, i might include the
missing ones in next issue.

Le'Clerk

Anna
====
You are standing inside Anna's workroom.
There is a nice white desk with a lot of papers on.
On the wall above the desk is a crucifix.
*Press return for more or q to end. >
In a corner is a large white armchair, where Anna sits when she is thinking.
Beside the armchair is a bookshelf with a lot of books.
There is a window on the eastern wall with white curtains.
Castle of Anna.
    There are three obvious exits: south, rohan and examples.
A trowel.

Alainysi

You are standing inside Alainysi's semi-squalid workroom. Right now
it is still in the stages of refurbishment. You see a magical exit
marked 'CHAPEL' in large, friendly letters. You also notice a fairly
new-looking fortune-telling machine in the corner. Next to the single
exit is a big shiny red button marked 'L'.

  There are three obvious exits: south, chapel and beracia.
A small bin.
A comfortable couch.

Ahndregg

You are standing inside Ahndregg's workroom.
The atmosphere is tence. You can feel the powers of creating all
around you. The walls in here are dark. The floor is of worn oak
and there are some marks in it. Against the north wall there is a
fairly unused desk. In front of the desk there is a large armchair.

There is a doorway to the south.
There are some magic exits, though: to the Village Church,
to the Adventurers' Guild, to the Wizards' Room, to the Post Office,
and to a suite of example rooms that can be used for learning LPC.
  There are seven obvious exits: south, silver, church, guild, post,
            examples and wizroom.

Aita

You are standing inside Aita's workroom.
The room is very tidy.  The reason for this is that no work gets done here since
most of his coding is done at home on a 'Nanny copy'. There is a piece of paper

in the corner.
  There are four obvious exits: church, guild, post and connect4.
A games box (closed).

Akasha

This is the workroom of Akasha, Queen of the Damned. As you arrive,
you immediately notice the strong smell of incense burning. The
room reveals the Goddess' heritage for you can see many Egyptian
artifacts and treasures adorn her abode. The walls are covered with
hieroglyphics which are guilded in gold. A large painting of a
pyramid is among the hieroglyphics. Sitting in the middle of the
room is an elegant chaise lounge. Below the chaise are many colorful
cushions that look inviting. There is a statue of Naketa the Dark
Lord standing in one corner. In another corner there is an iron
spiral staircase leading to the bedrooms. There is a sign hanging
across the bottom of the staircase.
The orb is active.
  There are eleven obvious exits: cell, up, church, post, shop, prof,
            wizb, pguild, mguild, dahmer and project.

A small musical gizmo.
A bulletin board with eighteen notes on it. You have read them all before.


Alexii

This is the workroom of Alexii.
You are impressed. VERY impressed...
There is a large red button on the wall.
  There are nine obvious exits: entrance, church, alley, hive, post,
            inner, study, daemons and kitchen.

Anvil

You are standing inside Anvil's workroom.
So far, it's just an empty standard workroom, of the kind
given to new wizards on NannyMUD: bare stone walls, a rough wodden floor,
and some dust and spiderwebs.
There are some magic exits, though: to the Village Church,
to the Adventurers' Guild, to the Wizards' Room, to the Post Office,
and to a suite of example rooms that can be used for learning LPC.
  There are five obvious exits: church, guild, post, examples and
            wizroom.

A dwarven compass.
A dwarven compass.
A dwarven compass.
A dwarven compass.


Asp

A spacy room filled with swirling, shadowy mists. On the wall is
a red button
    There are five obvious exits: north, south, temples, board and post.


Astrodeath

A dark room.


Azatoth

You are standing in the south end of an enormous hall.
When you look up you notice that the ceiling is high above.
*Press return for more or q to end. >
You would appreciate the height to about 50 feet.
On the walls famous painters' works hang in no order.
To the north the room extends with a enormous fireplace.
A small staircase seems to lead to a bedroom above.
    There are four obvious exits: up, north, work and bed.
A chinese carpet.


Banshee

This is Banshee's room for recreation.
There is a huge bed with black satin sheets
and fluffy pillows.
    There are six obvious exits: south, damned, knights, khorne, monks and ex.
A firework.
A golf peg.
A pale amulet.
An old iron key.
Metal ring (shimmering).
A red ring.
A dirty shield.
A gnat-swatter.
A backpack.
A firework.
A firework.
A firework.
A firework.


Bishop

You are standing inside Bishop's workroom.
This medium sized room radiates an aura of friendliness, which
makes you feel almost at home here.  There are various posters
on the walls that Bishop has collected in the past few years
and the floor is covered by a large, soft looking rug.

  There are four obvious exits: church, guild, post and wizroom.


Beldin

This is Beldin's workroom, a nearly empty room near the top of his tower.  He
uses this room to take audiences with mortals and wizards alike; it's one of
the few rooms in his tower he will use for this purpose.  There are exits in
a number of directions: A door to the north leads to a quiet room, a door to
the northwest leads to a secluded private room, and a door to the west leads
into a small schoolroom.  A ladder leads up into Beldin's area control room
and down into his little-used portal room.
  There are five obvious exits: down, up, west, northwest and north.
A comfortable couch.


Bive

You are in Bive's workroom.
This isn't a very nice place to be in, the room breaths
evil and black magic.
The smooth, black marble walls are covered with runes in an
ancient, long forgotten language, you guess they explains the
secrets of the dark and evil power that Bive controlls.
In the middle of the room is an altar, used for sacrification of
living people. The altar is covered with fresh blood. Next to the
altar is a fire burning from a hole in the floor. On the north wall
hangs a painting of the evil wizard Bive. Under the painting is a
small plaque attached to the wall.
At the east side of the room is a desk with strange magic items on.
To the east is the bedroom and down is house of Bive.

There are 6 portals at the west wall: Village Church,
Wizards' Room, Lab, Cboard, Troom, Droom and Post Office.

    There are eight obvious exits: church, wizroom, post, troom, droom, cadv, cboard and east.


Bixby

You are standing inside Bixby's workroom.
Bixby's been fixing it up recently.
You see a large, deal table, on which rest some mysterious tubes, beakers,
and tools.  There is a workstool that already shows signs of use.
Apart from two large windows, most of the wall space in the room is taken
up with bookshelves, which bear many a rare and faded volume on creation,
along with some of the most up-to-date expert advice.  Bixby also appears to
subscribe to Wizard's Weekly.  The last few month's issues are
visible on a shelf near the worktable.
  There are twelve obvious exits: up, east, west, north, south, church,
            guild, loft, post, examples, wizroom and annex.

A crystal ball.
A note.
A deal table.


Braveheart

You are now standing inside Braveheart's private Workroom.
You understand that this is the place where he uses his creative abilities to
summon great monsters and make lots of useful Equipment. In the roof you can
see a great painting of valiant & herioc characters. A big desk and a sturdy
chair is standing next to the north wall. The room has a slight cover of dust
with dirty spiderwebs in the corners. To the east you can see a sign leaning
towards the stone wall.
  There are no obvious exits.


Brucelee

This is the workout and Kung Fu training room of Brucelee.
  There are three obvious exits: east, west and north.


Casandra

This is Casandra's incredible workroom. It is large, and
very warm. The green-glowing lanterns on the walls make the room
pulsate. You feel very safe and comfortable here. But as the room
is so dark and comfortable, you almost fall asleep.
  There are seven obvious exits: church, guild, throne, post, mass,
            examples and wizroom.


Cathbad

You are standing in a grove of stately oak trees where Cathbad works his
subtle magics.  A large holly bush dominates the centre of the grove bringing
vivid colour to the scene.
Portals in the trees can take you to the church, adventurers guild and post
office, whilst a particularly large oak can teach you much about magic.
    There are five obvious exits: cwm, church, wizroom, post and examples.
A crystal orb.


Catwoman

This is Catwoman's workroom. You notice that it has a warm, airy feeling to
it, created by the openness of the room, and the two large windows set in the
southern wall. Each window has a seat, a perfect place for a little cat to
curl up on at night, to wait for her master and look at the stars. The center
of the room contains a large sofa and two comfortable looking chairs
surrounding a glass topped coffee table. The only adornment in the room is a
large portrait hanging in the center of the north wall.
  There are seven obvious exits: west, church, guild, sit, post,
            examples and wizroom.
A leather whip.
A mad spanker.
A box of bandages [15].


Celeborn

As you look about, you realize that you have entered the cozy room
where the elder wizard Celeborn created new items for the MUD.  A candle
burns slowly in the corner of the room, emitting a soft circle of light.
    There are seven obvious exits: west, inner, inner3, rt, church, post and north.
A bulletin board with 2 notes.
A small marble statue of Devik.


Charmangle

Mirdaithrond.
This large room contains all the equipment needed for the workings of all
thinkable materials and creations. A forge fitting a master Wizard.
A soft flickering light emits from a great fireplace in middle of the
room, casting dark shadows through out the hall.
  There are nine obvious exits: east, west, south, advguild, church,
            guild, narg, post and cruri.


Chrisp

You are in the workroom of the mighty samurai lord Chrisp.
West: Mountain
North: Village track
East: Market fork.
There are four obvious exits, west, north, down and east.
A katana of slaying.


Czygorwan

You are standing inside Czygorwan's workroom.
It's the top floor of the tower of Confusion.
There is a workbench standing against the north wall. Besides it there are some shelves. In the south wall there is a fireplace built in. In front of it stands an armchair and a rocking chair. Between the chairs a small table is placed. It doesn't look like Czygorwan likes the concept of cleaning. There is dust and spiderwebs all over the place. It's a doorway to the southeast.
There are some magic exits, though: to the Village Church,
to the Adventurers' Guild, to the Wizards' Room, to the Post Office,
and to a suite of example rooms that can be used for learning LPC.
  There are six obvious exits: southeast, church, guild, post, examples
            and wizroom.


Dannoc

You are standing inside Dannoc's workroom.
As the room is newly build, it is still empty.
Looking around you notice that the walls and the floor are made
of a strange material.
  There are nine obvious exits: church, guild, post, examples,

            postoffice, wizroom, valour, testroom and Home.


Decado

You are in Decado's deleted workroom.
  There are five obvious exits: church, start, post, test and maze.


Dwinbar

A golden apple.
A superball (bouncy).
Sec.
A quite annoying Harry doll.


Earendil

You are in a magical bubble of air far under the sea. Only powerful dweomers
prevent tons of water pouring in and crushing you. Outside the bubble strange
fish swim lazily around the dark underwater kingdom. Seaweed forests wave
slowly back and forth. You think you spy in the distance the legendary sunken
city of Ys, but you cannot be sure; the light is very dim. Some stairs cut
into the stone lead down.
  There is one obvious exit: down.
A crystal orb.


Eifel

You are standing inside Eifel's workroom.
It is kind of dull, only the small window lets some light in on
the mattressed walls. A strait-jacket can be seen in a corner,
it sometimes comes in handy when Eifel is trying to code rooms.
There are some magic exits: to the Village Church,
to the Adventurers' Guild, to the Wizards' Room, to the Post Office,
to a suite of example rooms that can be used for learning LPC, NW-tower
and to Eifel's play room where he kills monsters.
  There are seven obvious exits: church, guild, post, examples, wizroom,
            NW_tower and Killroom.



Etheran

You are standing inside Etheran's workroom and study. It is clean and neat.
The walls and the floor are made of stainless steel, and are gleaming gray in
the magical light. A large workbench is placed in one of the corners. It is
filled with drawings and models and the only thing in here that isn't in
perfect order. There are a few tools leaning against one wall. The south wall
is filled with a row of magical exits.
  There are six obvious exits: castle, church, guild, post, examples and
            wizroom.


Exxelsior

This is the workroom of the powerful wizard Exxelsior. Telescopes and
astronomic charts stands in front of every window. On a large bench
there's a maze of alchemic equipment. Baskets of rock is stacked beside
a kiln. Jars and vials fills and entire bookcase. There is no telling
what might be hiding in the cabinet which dwells in the shadows of the
east corner. Paper litters every available flat surface. Stacks of tomes
and notes and letters lies on the desk. Charts pasted on the walls
overlapps other charts pasted to the walls. Stacks of paper clutter the
floor and rises like towers between the tables. To your astonishment
nothing litters the ceiling.
  There are seven obvious exits: church, RT, post, pass, temple,
            examples and wizroom.


Faradrin

You are standing inside Faradrin's workroom. There's a fireplace in the north
wall, making the place nice and cosy. There is also a comfortable-looking
armchair here, placed right in front of the warm fire.
  There are seven obvious exits: north, church, guild, post, examples,
            wizroom and testroom.
A dusty statue of Faradrinjr.


Friend

You are standing inside Friend's workroom.
The only thing worth of notice is a big hole at the center of the floor.
Otherwise, the room is completely empty.
    No obvious exits.


Gaia

You are standing inside Gaia's mousehole.
It is an impressive hole with lots of implements not usually found in this
kind of place. On the walls there are posters from different cheese
manufactures and on the middle of the floor there is some remenats of what
once was a chese. There is also some paper where you can see the letters N and
H.
  There are two obvious exits: up and guild.
Brainwashed gerbil.


Gorbys

The room is formed like a globe, you can't see any corners and
you notice you're floating in the hazy, blue glowing air.
You gaze into the fog and think you see some kind of a golden frame.
You see some huge doors wich seems to float in the air as well.
In front of you, you a see a little bamsebjorn.
  There are six obvious exits: church, guild, post, examples, wizroom
            and knightsguild.


Gore

You are standing inside Gore's workroom.
The floor is filled with cables, magazines and there are
hardly no space left to put your feet. On a table sits two
synthesizers and two computers. Another computer is on the floor.
Against a wall Gore has most of his CD's in four large towers,
most of them are Depeche Mode CD's.
There is a door leading south, out from the workroom.
There are some magic exits, though: to the Village Church,
to the Adventurers' Guild, to the Wizards' Room, to the Post Office,
  There are six obvious exits: east, south, church, guild, post and
            wizroom.


Gurk

You ended up in Gurk's workroom. The walls and the floor is in some green
marble. The ceiling is green too. In the middle of this green room you see a
green desk with a green chair. In the walls you see some strange, green exits
leading to different places in the game. You also notice that Gurk has placed
an emote and echo command in here, you should use them with em and ec.

  There are three obvious exits: down, church and RT.
1100 gold coins.


Gwendolyn

You are in a neat and cosy workroom.
A feeling of an ancient and powerful magic is present.
There is a desk covered with magic books and scrolls.
On a huge pedestal is the Octavo.
It contains the Eight Great Spells,
or... at least seven of them.
Light comes in through a huge window in the ceiling,
but it doesn't seem to be sunlight.
    There are six obvious exits: secret, church, guild, post, pub and shop


Halamer


You are inside Halamer's top-secret Battle Room, where he comes up with his
diabolical schemes to bring Nanny under his control. So far, he hasn't exactly
done a good job. There are hundreds of blueprints and plans attached to the
walls, which seem to grow as Halamer needs more room. There is a large bed here
where Halamer sleeps, and two little beds on each side, one for Sock and the
other for Mr. Boson the Teddy Bear. There seem to be alot of different exits
here too.
  There are five obvious exits: east, south, church, guild and post.


Hans

You are standing inside Hans' workroom.
The walls are made of black stone, and it's pretty dark and
cozy here. In front of you stands a huge desk. When Hans is
in here, he sits behind it in a comfortable looking armchair.
On the desk there are some papers. On the south wall, there
hangs a picture of Kai the neck romancer, and on the east wall
there hangs a picture of Slain, and above it a sign. On the
desk stands a little pocket recorder.
  There are four obvious exits: down, west, south and post.



Gwendolyn

You are in a neat and cosy workroom.
A feeling of an ancient and powerful magic is present.
There is a desk covered with magic books and scrolls.
On a huge pedestal is the Octavo.
It contains the Eight Great Spells,
or... at least seven of them.
Light comes in through a huge window in the ceiling,
but it doesn't seem to be sunlight.
    There are six obvious exits: secret, church, guild, post, pub and shop

[Polar]

Halamer


You are inside Halamer's top-secret Battle Room, where he comes up with his
diabolical schemes to bring Nanny under his control. So far, he hasn't exactly
done a good job. There are hundreds of blueprints and plans attached to the
walls, which seem to grow as Halamer needs more room. There is a large bed here
where Halamer sleeps, and two little beds on each side, one for Sock and the
other for Mr. Boson the Teddy Bear. There seem to be alot of different exits
here too.
  There are five obvious exits: east, south, church, guild and post.


Hans

You are standing inside Hans' workroom.
The walls are made of black stone, and it's pretty dark and
cozy here. In front of you stands a huge desk. When Hans is
in here, he sits behind it in a comfortable looking armchair.
On the desk there are some papers. On the south wall, there
hangs a picture of Kai the neck romancer, and on the east wall
there hangs a picture of Slain, and above it a sign. On the
desk stands a little pocket recorder.
  There are four obvious exits: down, west, south and post.



Gwendolyn

You are in a neat and cosy workroom.
A feeling of an ancient and powerful magic is present.
There is a desk covered with magic books and scrolls.
On a huge pedestal is the Octavo.
It contains the Eight Great Spells,
or... at least seven of them.
Light comes in through a huge window in the ceiling,
but it doesn't seem to be sunlight.
    There are six obvious exits: secret, church, guild, post, pub and shop


Halamer


You are inside Halamer's top-secret Battle Room, where he comes up with his
diabolical schemes to bring Nanny under his control. So far, he hasn't exactly
done a good job. There are hundreds of blueprints and plans attached to the
walls, which seem to grow as Halamer needs more room. There is a large bed here
where Halamer sleeps, and two little beds on each side, one for Sock and the
other for Mr. Boson the Teddy Bear. There seem to be alot of different exits
here too.
  There are five obvious exits: east, south, church, guild and post.


Hans

You are standing inside Hans' workroom.
The walls are made of black stone, and it's pretty dark and
cozy here. In front of you stands a huge desk. When Hans is
in here, he sits behind it in a comfortable looking armchair.
On the desk there are some papers. On the south wall, there
hangs a picture of Kai the neck romancer, and on the east wall
there hangs a picture of Slain, and above it a sign. On the
desk stands a little pocket recorder.
  There are four obvious exits: down, west, south and post.
*Press return for more or q to end. >


Ingis

You are in a small secret chamber somewhere in Ingis large house.
    There are three obvious exits: village, post and delirium.


Kairi

You are standing inside Kairi's workroom.
It is a rather empty but functional-looking workroom, filled with
light that comes from the window in the west wall. The floor is
made of polished birchwood planks and covered with a gray carpet.
Next to the window there is a large desk piled up with manuals on
LPC coding. Above the desk there is a sign.
In the right corner stands a bookcase containing the rest of the
manuals as well as plenty of other books. The walls are bare except
for a few posters scattered here and there.
There are 2 additional chat commands that you can use in this room:
       echo<text> will echo freely.
       emote<text>will emote freely.

  There are five obvious exits: church, guild, post, examples and
            wizroom.


Kefka

You are standing in Kefka's Work/Throneroom.  It is decorated in
the style of a circa 1500 Japanese feudal lord's throneroom, with
sliding rice paper panels for walls, a floor of shiny wooden boards
covered with finely wrought rugs, and a small, uncomfortable
looking chair on which Kefka sits when entertaining visitors.
The visitors can longue about on the silk cushions scattered about
the room.  There are magical exits to the Church, Wizard Room, Sample
Rooms, and a beautifully arched passageway to a garden to the south.
  There are four obvious exits: south, church, examples and wizroom.


Kingen

You are standing inside Kingen's workroom.
It's a softly lighted room with alot of shelves with old books.
At one side of the room there is a oak desk with a chair besides it.
This is the place where Kingen will do all his nasty things
for the mortals in Nannymud
  There are four obvious exits: church, guild, post and wizroom.


Krzhugngr

You are standing inside Krzhugngr's workroom.
The workroom is quite empty, but maybe the reason for that is that
the workroom is also quite new. This whereas is caused by the
fact that Krzhugngr (you may call him Krz ...) is a quite new
wizard as well. At least one single piece of furniture was already
delivered: A glass vitrine, standing alone in a corner of the room.
    There are four obvious exits: church, wizroom, post and pub.


Leclerk

This room is snyggt!
  There are no obvious exits.


Leowon

Somehow you know this is Leowon's workroom. Maybe it is because of the image
that hovers in midair near the ceiling, spreading a soft light throughout the
room. You also see an open fireplace, and a neatly stacked heap of cut logs
beside it. A comfortable-looking sofa, big enough for two, stands before it,
and two small footpalls are on the floor in front of it, together with a
small table that has numerous rings from wet teacups. The floor is covered by
a soft carpet, _not_ a bearskin one, and it is warm and pleasant. You feel an
urge to walk barefoot. South is Leowon's private rooms, but beware, you
cannot enter them without being invited.
  There are seven obvious exits: north, south, church, guild, area,
            vamps and wpeak.


Leviticus

An interminable grinding sound fills the room, almost solid in its volume.
Gears, shafts, pistons, and other fragments of metal machinery of all shapes
move on all sides, creating a hypnotic curtain of industry.  The floor is
glistening steel, and it is engraved with numerous icons and patterns.
Small, shadowy figures work on the machinery, and periodically squeak and
titter to each other, as if sharing some common complaint. This machine does
not belong on this earth.
  There are no obvious exits.


Lonewolf

This is Lonewolf's workroom.  Woot.
  There is one obvious exit: church.
A comfortable couch.


Luthor

You are standing inside Luthor's private workroom.
There is a nice statue in one of the corners.
There are some strange magical doors here.
  There are three obvious exits: enter, church and wizroom.


Lysander


It's Lysander's workroom.  It's, surprisingly, outdoors.
It's got a small river running through the middle.  Trees grow
On either side of the river, providing shade and generally obscuring
the sun.  There are three obvious exits: guild, post and examples.
The Financial Times.


Maelstorm

You are standing inside Maelstorm's workroom.
You are in awe of the greatness of this room. The thick walls
have arches of marble which lead up to the round glass canopy
which brings natural light into the room. Halfway around the room
the walls are ensconsed with bookshelves.  In front of this arch of
knowledge sits a huge desk, at which Maelstorm does most of his
creating.  On the other half of the circle a fireplace is built
into the wall, giving a reassuring warmth to the room. Above the
mantle is hanging a large oil painting.  In front of the fireplace
lays a giant bearskin rug, and in front of it is a soft leather couch
  There are eight obvious exits: down, church, guild, post, examples,
            wizroom, rtroom and poolhall.



Mats

This must be the workroom of Mats. The room is filled with notes, scrolls,
parchments and papers, and the walls are covered with maps over NannyMUD.
Several bookshelves are filled with manuals and books about world creation.
There is a large desk in the middle of the room and it has large piles of
papers. A big comfortable armchair, where Mats usually sits and thinks about
his creation, stands next to the fireplace. Opposite the armchair is a big
soft couch where he sometimes takes a nap, or let visitors sit while he talks
with them. In one corner is a trashcan half-empty with demoted wizards and
players. There is a clock on the wall.
  There is one obvious exit: church.
A ColourFoul scroll.
A bloody butcher.
A butchers axe.


Meep



           Flouro Neuro Sponge?       

  There are five obvious exits: io, leda, antares, callisto and altair.
A cd-player.
A purple necklace.


Meta

Welcome to MeTa's workroom.
If you are mortal, please use the portal marked 'church'.
Wizards may explore at will.
Wizard commands: equip align clubstat visitors
  There are sixteen obvious exits: down, prop, quest, church, club,
            htst, post, ruin, pub, test, shop, tree, elementals, mages,
            laboratory and dres.
A bottle of beer.


Milamber

You are inside a small temple. The walls are shimmering, and somewhat unreal.
*Press return for more or q to end. >
In the middle of the temple, there is a statue of a small dragon. Next to it
there is an altar, and in the ground there is a hole. The hole seems to be
large enough to enter. To the north there is a path, to the east, south, west
and northeast there is a forest, to the northwest there is a small beach,
bordering to a lake, to the southwest and southeast there are some foothills
at the base of the mountain range and to the below you there is a hole.

You can go down, east, west, northwest, north, south, southwest, northeast and
southeast


Mishra

You are standing inside Mishra's factory.
This is the powerful factory of the mighty wizard MISHRA.
It was given to Mishra when he got to level 21.
He got a nice chair and a desk, which he sits and work at.
The walls are creepy to you, because you are STUPID!
There are some magic exits, though: *Village Church.
m   m  i  sss  h  h  rrr    aa     *Adventurers'Guild.
mm mm  i  s    h  h  r  r  a  a    *Wizards' Room.
m m m  i   s   hhhh  rrr   aaaa    *Post Office.
m   m  i    s  h  h  r r   a  a    *Example room.
m   m  i  sss  h  h  r  r  a  a    *Dominia.
  There are seven obvious exits: church, guild, post, examples, wizroom,
            kguild and dominia.


Mistral

You are in a workroom of Mistral the Wiz. As you enter, you feel an
encompassing atmosphere of High Magic, used here to create new Miracles of
the World. On the walls there are lot of shelves with books. One the corners
is taken by chest of drawers. In the middle of room stands huge desk with
armchair next to it. Maps are taking some parts of walls with photos as well.
The carpet covers the floor and the fireplace gives some light and heat.
  There are seven obvious exits: down, church, guild, post, examples,
            wizroom and bedroom.


Mordor

You are standing inside Mordor's workroom. Right in front of you is a reading
table, scattered with papers and empty cans of coca-cola. Here Mordor sits and
*Press return for more or q to end. >
creates monsters and nasty pk-objects. Many of the items you immediately
understand that the admins never will approve. The corners are filled with
trash and cobwebs. There are some magic exits: to the Village Church, to the
Adventurers' Guild, to the Wizards' Room, to the Post Office and to the land
of Mordor.
  There are nine obvious exits: down, east, daemon, church, guild, area,
            post, wizroom and kguild.


Mym

You are standing inside Mym's workroom. You notice that the residence is quite
bare and very chilly. You are in a plain square room that appears to have been
hacked from a block of hard obsidian. Although there is light from a guttering
torch or two, the room is seems very dark. The surrounding rock appears to
absorb light in a most unsettling way. You get the feeling that the owner of
this room is much too involved with other things to be bothered with
superficial accessories. You see a few dark portals leading to: the Village
Church, the Adventurers' Guild, the Wizards' Room, the Post Office, and to a
suite of example rooms that can be used for learning LPC. There is also a new
exit to Dr. Karlberg's house.
  There are six obvious exits: church, house, guild, post, examples and
            wizroom.


Nib

You are standing in Nib's utterly boring workroom. In the northeast corner of
the workroom is a small teleporting device. From the ceiling hangs a huge
crystal lamp which lights up the room. All walls are bare except for the north
one that is covered by a huge map.
  There is one obvious exit: east.


Nyoni
=====
This is a warm little room with soft light. Dominating the room, against one
wall, is a huge loom. On the other side of the room, a delicate spinning
wheel sits in front of a large window. Between the two, the floor is littered
with baskets.
  There is one obvious exit: church.
A basket.



Orpheus

You are standing inside the spacious loft where Orpheus composes
his magical songs. The loft is large with twenty foot ceilings held
up by thick oak pillars.  Various musical instruments lie about the
room and a fireplace is next to a small desk and a large bed in the
corner. Across the room is a small kitchenette with a coffee pot and
an ice box. Soft music emanates from some unknown point in the room.
A circular staircase leads up into the Portal Tower.
You sense that there exists some nice commands for social conversation
in this room:

emote <text> will emote freely
echo  <text> will echo freely

  There is one obvious exit: up.


Padrone

This is a plain and undecorated room.
It is Padrone's real workroom, which is built inside of the
*Press return for more or q to end. >
room, "players/padrone/tower/workroom2", that many people
falsely believe to be his workroom.
From here you can leave out into that room,
and you can leave down to the tower hall.
You can not, however, go through the door leading in to Padrone's
even more private room, where he locks himself up with his bugs
when he feels the need to have a serious talk with them.
    There are three obvious exits: in, out and down.


Pagan

This is the most secret room in the Dungeon of Doom.
It's here where Pagan tries to create new stuff for NannyMUD.
The walls and the floor are made by bare stone. It is very cold down
here and you can hear the sound of water that dripps down from the
roof. The room contains a bed, a wardrobe, some paintings and a
statue of a girl. There is also this huge desk that Pagan use to
work at. You realise that this room is still under construction.
In one of the corners there is some magical teleporters.
  There are five obvious exits: church, guild, post, examples and
            wizroom.

[Polar]

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   The NannyMUD Times issue 1996 November. Page 7 part 3
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Panic

You seem to been lured here by the mystical wizard named
Panic. It is heard that this evil being lives of death &
dispair from those that die in his many cruel areas.
You can feel death all around you. Perhaps you ought to leave
this evil place?
  There are eight obvious exits: east, church, post, shop, wizroom,
            wizhall, cloneroom and advent.


Profezzorn
==========
This is the workroom of Profezzorn. It's a more or less spherical
metal chamber with some kind of odd exit upwards. Small doors in the
metal also lead in other directions. On the wall hangs a painting
of Akasha.
    There are six obvious exits: down, up, east, west, north and south
Profezzorn's secretary.
A display case.




Rand

You are inside Rand's workroom.
It's totally devoid of decorations, but a fireplace in the corner gives
it a snug, homely feeling.
  There are three obvious exits: down, church and wizroom.
A test-moj.


Readis
======
This room is plushly furnished, with tapestries hanging on the walls, a
deep pile maroon carpet, and comfortable seating along the walls.
In one corner stands a mahogany desk and chair, with bookshelves racked
above them.
There are some magic exits, though: to the Village Church,
to the Adventurers' Guild, to the Wizards' Room, to the Post Office,
and to a suite of example rooms that can be used for learning LPC.
  There are six obvious exits: church, guild, post, examples, wizroom
            and khboard.

A large blue dragon.


Restless

You are standing inside Restless's workroom.
It is lush but yet homely, lit up and warmed by a great fire in the fireplace.
The strong stonewalls are covered with paintings of Lady Restless life, and
some portraits of her closest friends.

There are some magic exits: to the Village Church,
to the Adventurers' Guild, to the Wizards' Room, to the Post Office,
to Restless and Bives garden, and to a private chamber.
    There are six obvious exits: church, guild (bboard), wizroom, post, private and garden.
Lady Restless' small golden dragon.


Rohan

You are standing inside Rohan's workroom.
The walls are filled with bookshelfs whith a lot of literature
concerning LPC. In the middle of the room stands a large desk with
a lot of papers on it.
The roof emits a soft and strong light, this must be a good place
for a wizard to work in.
  There are three obvious exits: anna, clubroom and examples.
Castle of rohan.
A bulletin board with 7 notes.


Roland

This is the room where Roland idles while he plays fun muds.
    There are six obvious exits: forest, church, guild (bboard), wizroom, post and examples.


Satari

You are standing in a round chamber at the top of the white tower. It's here
Satari is trying to create new things for NannyMUD. The walls are made of pure
white stone, you can see dust and some spiderwebs in the corners. The floor
seems to gleam with a white light and that gives the room a soft and somewhat
mystical aura. There is a shimmering portal in the east wall.
  There is one obvious exit: portal.



Schlek

You have found your way into Schlek's livingroom.
Here the walls are painted white, the floor is covered with black
plush carpet.  At one end of the room you notice a chair and loveseat.
You notice a fire blazing in a black marble fireplace.
Laying in front of the fireplace is a bear-skin rug.
On the walls you notice some pictures of Schlek's husband.
You hear beautiful music coming from somewhere.
You feel the need to take your shoes off and stay awhile.
    There are six obvious exits: hobtowne, church, guild (bboard), wizroom, post and examples.


Silencer

You are standing.


Silvana



  This is the workroom of Silvana. It is a large room, with a perfect
octagonal shape. The walls are made of black and blood red granite.
The whole room seems to be carved out of one single piece of rock, as
if this very room was inside a great mountain.
In the center of the room stands some kind of large table, circular in
shape, with a round hole in the middle. A furnace burns there, slowly
flickering its flames, licking the inner sides and some part of the
table surface. It is the only lightsource in this room.
In the middle of the dark stone ceiling, you see eight small openings
together forming a circle, gently blowing fresh air into the room.
The only real decoration in this room is a niche in the south wall, in
which a statue is placed.

    There are seven obvious exits: church, guild, wizroom, post, examples, Neill and east.


Sindel


You're standing on a grassy field in the middle of nowhere. It's very quiet and peaceful here. You envy Sindel a lot, since she found this place and you didn't.
  There are four obvious exits: church, post, examples and wizroom.


Slater

You are standing inside Slater's workroom.
This room is made solemnly out of black crystal. In the middle of the room,
there is a large black desk, with a armchair in the same black color. It
looks very comfy. Behind the desk, there is a large bed with colorful
sheets. There are a little bit dusty here and there, and you can see
spiderweb in the ceiling. On the wall there is a small sign.
  There are five obvious exits: church, guild, post, hut and wizroom.
A cream machine.


Sonarr

This is Sonarr's Workroom.
The walls may still be made of stone and the floor of rough wood, but she's
done her best to modernize the place a bit.  Against one wall stands a
bookshelf, and along another wall there is a stereo on a table.
Dominating the center of the room is a huge, transparent cylindrical chamber.
  There are eight obvious exits: p, ch, west, g, post, test, examples
            and wizroom.


Taren

You are standing in Taren's workroom, the walls are covered in
blood. On the south wall there is Khorne's Skull Rune.
  There are nine obvious exits: east, west, north, church, lab, post,
            examples, wizroom and croom.


Taunter

You have found yourself within Taunter's cave.
It is a fairly large cavern of pale brown sandstone sculpted in soft
curves and supported with slender pillars. A myriad of cubbyholes burrow
into the walls, various articles sticking out of several. One hollow seems
larger than the rest...
The stone formations form some strange seats for guests, but since they
are moss-covered, they are hardly uncomfortable. In one corner there is even a
large down cushion. A soft light illuminates the cool hall from somewhere
near the ceiling, but the source of it seems hidden. In one recess, the light
reflects brilliantly off the facets of an intricate emerald dragon statue.
It feels safe and secure in here, a haven to stop and rest in if you like.
You hardly notice it's the home of a dragon except for the size.
To the south is the tunnel to Chrystoval's private chamber, but be warned
that there is a demon standing guard on the other side...
Beyond a small hole in the ceiling you see the soft glow of pulsing light.
    There are four obvious exits: south, west, up and hollow.


Titleist

You are standing inside Titleist's workroom in the east tower of his
castle. A large desk is standing in front of the east window and a
comfortable chair stands at the desk. Stairs lead up to his tower
bedroom and down the tower. You can also see several magic portals
shimmering faintly in the air.
  There are eight obvious exits: down, up, church, kni, sim, wizroom,
            control and skulls.


Toth

You are standing inside Toth the apprentice's workroom. It is a large
impressive hall with a golden throne at the far end. Infront of the big
throne you can see a giant table. The walls are also made in gold...in fact
the entire hall is. Toth must be a mighty wizard...or atleast very rich..but
all wizards are... You can see some black portals hanging in the air, you get
the feeling that they lead to: the Village Church,to the Adventurers' Guild,
to the Wizards' Room, to the Post Office, to the Shop, to Green and to a
suite of example rooms that can be used for learning LPC.
  There are eight obvious exits: church, guild, green, area, post, shop,
            examples and wizroom.
Toth's servant.


Traste

You are inside Traste's workroom.
This is a cosy little place. A black leather sofa stands in the middle
of the room, facing a fireplace set in one of the walls. In front of
the fire lies a bearskin rug. Armchairs are spread across the room,
providing you with plenty of opportunity to sit down and relax.
Shadows dance across the walls, giving the room an air of magic.
  There are four obvious exits: church, guild, post and kguild.



Tsc

The workroom of Tsc.

You feel you can dream here about everything you want,
but you are a little bit scared, because are you allowed to come here
and what will happen with you, if you are not ???
A door can be seen to the west.
    There are three obvious exits: church, ring and island.
A machine.


Weronoop

You are standing inside Weronoop's workroom.
Except the wooden floor and stone walls you notice a old sturdy
desk in a corner of the room, it is hard to spot by the amount
of junk and papers laying on it and by the bad light.
You also see some stuffed animals standing in pedestals and hanging on
the walls. There is also a bookshelf here filled with books in all
different languages, your attention is drawn to one book, maybe
you should examine it. You also see some dust and spiderwebs,
which irritates you.
There are some magical exits, though: to the Village Church,
to the Adventurers' Guild, to the Wizards' Room, to the Post Office,
and to a suite of example rooms that can be used for learning LPC.
  There are five obvious exits: church, guild, post, examples and
            wizroom.


Xantrax

You are inside Xantrax's workroom.
The walls are black, and there is a black desk in the center of the
room. Behid the desk is a comfertable armchair, also black.
On the desk is a eternal flame burning, spreading a low light in
the room. There is a stair leading down. In the wall is a logger console.
  There are seven obvious exits: down, secret, church, area, examples,
            kguild and sguild.


Yanir


This is Someone's workroom, where you can see something.
Somehow, someway, you feel there is some wrongness here, at Someone's
workroom.
  There is one obvious exit: somewhere.


Zaigo

You are sitting inside Zaigo's workroom.
The walls have a strange golden colour and the floor have a
comfortable mat in the middle.
There is unfamiliar smell in the room.
Well this is simply the place where Zaigo goes to relax and   
and smoke on his very on HUGE pipe.
There are some magic exits, though: to the Village Church,
to the Adventurers' Guild, to the Wizards' Room, to the Post Office,
and to a suite of example rooms that can be used for learning LPC.
  There are six obvious exits: church, guild, post, examples, wizroom
            and slashroom.

[Polar]

The NannyMUD Times page 8    ---

A american in Sweden

The last part of the story written by P J O'Rourke.
Originally published in Rolling Stone Magazine, May Issue.
First part in Issue three of The NannyMUD Times.

     According to the Swedish Institute's booklet On Sweden, "The overall
aims of the social welfare system are to redistribute income more evenly
over each individual's life cycle, narrow the gaps between social classes
and provide everyone with a broad selection of public services."  An
American reads that sentence and hears, "Half your allowance will be held
in escrow because you'll no doubt want to buy some Bikini Kill CDs and a
snowboard when you're 80."  Then the American starts thinking about
social status.  True, Courtney Love, 2Pac and Lee Iacocca are part of the
underclass, but is it because they're poorer than Nancy Kassbaum,
Christopher Darden and John Updike? And is this a gap we want to close?
And "broad selection of public services" seems to be another way of
saying: "To get downtown, you can take the bus.  Or the next bus.  Or the
bus after that."
     But one understands the impulse behind the Swedish ideas.  Nobody
can contemplate America's stunning wealth and famous poverty without
thinking, at least once, "Why can't we even this out?"  Give your cell
phone to the lady talking to herself in the park - let her talk to
someone else for a change.  Many underprivileged youths never get the
benefits of a college education.  The next time you see a deprived
adolescent, why not present him with your old bong, TKE baseball cap,
fuzzy snapshot taken on South Padre Island and tattered copy of Monarch
Notes for Bleak House?  We've got migrant workers living in their cars,
yet there's unrented mall space everywhere.  Put the fruit pickers in the
food court and let the Whoppers be sold out the window of a Chevy.  It's
way cooler than drive-in burgers - it's drive by burgers.  Impoverished
Americans exist in very depressing circumstances, so share your Prozac.
The hell with busing to achieve racial balance - fly those kids to the
suburbs in business jets.  And, you know, many of those children are
being raised by single mothers.  Charlie Sheen should marry them all.
     The Swedes can almost make you believe in this.  In the first place,
they are nice - nicer even than the people in Orlando, Fla., who spend
all day in Donald Duck suits.  At shops, in restaurants, on the street,
everyone is so helpful and pleasant that it frightens an American, since
nobody in the U.S. behaves this way unless he's trying to recruit you for
a cult.  Cabdrivers get out and open the door for you.  One night my taxi
was cut off in traffic, and my driver rolled down his window, leaned
toward the offending vehicle and said - I quote verbatim - "Tsk, tsk."
Even the hotel manager who told me that the crane falling over wasn't
really funny caught herself and a moment later said, "Maybe it is funny a
little."
     I went hardly a night without the hospitality of the full-blown
seated dinner, and every business person, academic or politician I called
made time to see me (always for precisely one hour, by the way).  The
American ambassador to Sweden, Thomas Siebert, and his wife, Deborah, are
as nice as everyone else in the country.  They came by the hotel for
drinks, invited me for tea and were full of information and suggestions.
I actually found, to my horror, this niceness infecting me.  Ambassador
Siebert was Bill Clinton's classmate at Georgetown, and Deborah is a good
friend of Hillary Clinton's.  I went into a deep funk over the nasty
things I've written about those blathering highbinders, the president and
first lady. (I got over it.)
     And Sweden - resolutely left wing or not - is thoroughly bourgeois.
The Swedes drive Volvos and Saabs like we do, know their California
chardonnays, have boats and summer cottages, and vacation at places that
are as much like home as possible, which is to say, at Disney World.
Everyone speaks English or, rather, American, even to the extent of
presidential primary jokes.  (What do you get when you cross Bob Dole
with Lamar Alexander?  Somebody who walks across your state for no reason.)
     Sweden is cozy, and Sweden is safe.  Baby carriages are routinely
left outside shops.  Of course, we can't be sure of the Swedes' motives
in this, and I did see more baby carriages than I saw toddlers or
school-age children.  But the children I did see were well-behaved
despite a Swedish law - this is not a joke - against spanking your kids.
"Behave or I'll reason with you," however, is from a Swede a fairly
terrible threat.  The teenagers weren't too rotten acting, either.  They
had plenty of snot rings and dummkopf haircuts and wore those European
sweaters the color and shape of spilled porridge, but actual rebellious
behavior seemed limited to looking mopey.  I guess when the entire object
of your society is to make everything as swell as possible for everybody,
the only way you cash out is by bumming.
     I met a record-company A&R man who invited me out on the town.  He
was very with-it.  I have to say I was dreading the evening.  I figured
I'd be awake until 4 a.m. drinking lattes with those mopey teens and
listening to Swedish alternative rock - picture an anguished Abba.  In
fact, we ended up talking about August Strindberg over a dinner of elk
pate, bleak roe and grouse with truffles, accompanied by sufficient
bottles of mature Burgundy and a snifter of Armagnac large enough to
float a tub toy.  Then everyone went home at 11, as everyone always does
in Sweden, although they usually don't go home this well fed.
     There are many delightful things about Sweden, but almost none of
them are meals.  The Swedish idea of spicy falls somewhere between
Communion wafers and ketchup.  Cream sauce is everywhere.  I went to an
Italian restaurant that had on its menu spaghetti Bolognese with cream
sauce, linguini al pesto with cream sauce, and fettuccine Alfredo with
cream sauce, even though fettuccine Alfredo is nothing but cream sauce
anyway.  The city guide in my hotel room noted these "typical Swedish
dishes": anchovy au gratin, nettle soup with eggs, and baked eel.  And
here are some recipes from a Swedish cookbook called A Gastronomic Tour
of the Scandinavian Arctic: smoked reindeer heart with seasonal salad,
noisettes of young reindeer with creamy green peppercorn sauce, and
reindeer tongue with a salad of early vegetables.  What's that, Blitzen?
I can't understand a thing you're saying.
     Maybe the problem with Swedish food has something to do with the
obsessive Swedish interest in fairness.  Maybe if fairness is a society's
most esteemed value, then "average" becomes a great compliment.  Mm,
honey, that was an average dinner.  In fact, this is nearly the case.
The world in Swedish is lagom, which translates into "just enough" or "in
moderation" or "sufficient" - like the headache I had a day after my
dinner with the A&R man.  And lagom really is used as a compliment.
     I went to interview two Swedish leftists, a Cabinet minister in the
ruling Social Democratic Party government and the chief economist for
Landsorganisationen, or LO, the principal Swedish trade union.  And they
both harped on fairness, though in the nicest way.
     The lobby wall in the big art-deco LO headquarters is covered with a
mural depicting a blond, shirtless buff dude wielding a glowing ingot of
pig iron.  There is an art-history dissertation waiting to be done about
the connection between Calvin Klein ads and socialist realism.  The
economist Per-Olof Edin told me, "Inequality creates violence and crime
in the United States."  And it probably does, although one can only wish
it would create more violence toward Donald Trump.  Nor does this explain
why, in Sweden, where there's little inequality, crime has increased
fourfold between 1950 and 1990.  Edin said, "Enormous differences in
income, wealth and power push people toward communism."  And maybe so,
but the only people it pushed toward communism in America were '60s
college students who already had income, wealth and power - or at least
their fathers did.  And Edin went on at some length about the social
problems and economic inefficiencies caused by competition.  Which means,
I suppose, that basketball would be a better game if all 10 players were
on the same side and we lost those stupid hoops.
     The Cabinet minister was Marita Ulvskog, whose last name translates
as "timber wolf" and whose portfolio was minister for consumer,
religious, youth and sports affairs, and why not just keep going with a
title like that and make her minister of hobbies, board games, gardening
and affairs among middle-aged married people?  Ulvskog could see I was
alarmed at the scope of her responsibilities.  "I am dealing with the
things that politicians shouldn't deal with," she said with a laugh.  And
then, without a laugh, she said, "At the same time, there is lots of
legislation on this."  And in Sweden you can bet there is.
     "We don't want a society," said Ulvskog, "with large differences -
in income, in social welfare, in regions, in men and women."  And good
luck to the Social Democrats.  Try this with animals, and everything
would be a cow.  Which may explain why the Skansen zoo, in Stockholm,
does in point of fact have cows in it.
     I asked Ulvskog if the differences among people in Sweden could be
made narrower than they already are.  "No, not really," she said.
     "And in creating the egalitarianism you do have," I asked, "is it
Swedish political system or Swedish society that works so well?"
     "Perhaps," said Ulvskog, "it is the society."
     So the Swedes have come up with a wonderful trick to make everyone
equal, but it can only be performed by Swedes.  Also, it doesn't work
anymore
     But Sweden did work for a while.  From 1870 to 1970, Sweden had a
higher rate of economic growth than any country in the world except Japan
(and Japan was cheating - using the statistical dodge of starting out
with a nearly Paleolithic base line).  By the 1950s, Sweden was among the
richest countries on earth, with a per-capita GDP twice the European average.
     Several things turned this hayseed country in the unheated attic of
Europe into a wealthy modern state.  Land-reform laws in the early 19th
century allowed farmers to enclose common space, thereby increasing
production, though at the expense of the landless rural laborers who had
used that common space for grazing.  The medieval guilds, giving comfy
local monopolies to artisans, were abolished in 1846, and business
freedom was guaranteed by law in 1864.  Craftsmen could now succeed - or
fail - at anything they wanted, anywhere they liked.  Sweden also had
large supplies of timber, iron ore and minerals.  Since these were export
commodities, a policy of free trade was instituted.  And (for those still
hoping Jack Kemp will make a run for president) Sweden was on the gold
standard and remained there until 1931.  Thus, Sweden's prosperity was
the result of the very deregulation and fiscal conservatism that a
socialist government would be expected to abhor.
     A socialist will tell you that these policies lead to economic
disparities and social dislocations.  And the socialist is right.  During
the late 19th and early 20th centuries, almost 1 million Swedes, nearly a
quarter of the population, left Sweden.  Fortunately they had someplace
to go: Minnesota.  Dislocated and disparity-ridden as they may have been,
the Swedish did pretty well.
     A Scandinavian economist is supposed to have proudly said to
free-market advocate Milton Friedman, "In Scandinavia we have no
poverty."  And Milton Friedman is supposed to have replied, "That's
interesting, because in America among the Scandinavians, we have no
poverty, either."
     A very different kind of Scandinavian economist, Peter Stein, tried
to explain to me the Swedish Model or Swedish Miracle, the so-called
Middle Way, which is supposed to deliver all the houses, cars and
nuisance calls from competing long-distance carriers that America has
with the perfect social equality of, say, North Korea.  Stein is one of a
small group of Swedes willing to believe in complete economic liberty.
It is a group so small that I think I met all of them in a room at
Stockholm's free-market-oriented City University, an institution so small
that it's housed on a couple of floors of an office building.  Ulvskog
told me, "A conserve politician in Sweden is closer to a United States
liberal than to Newt Gingrich."
     Stein pointed out that for 62 of the 100 years of splendid growth,
the Swedish socialist welfare state contained no socialism and hardly any
welfare.  The left didn't take real power until 1932, and when the Social
Democrats got in office, they made socialism work by the novel expedient
of not introducing any.  Very few industries were nationalized.  The
Social Democrats may have believed in such things in principle, but they
were Swedish and pragmatic.  They decided to let the capitalists go ahead
and make money, tax the wages and profits, and use those taxes to buy
social benefits.  They would, as Stein said, "nationalize consumption,
not production."  But even with these social benefits, the leftists were
lagom.  In 1960 the notorious Swedish tax burden was about the same as
the burden was in the United States: Swedish government spending was 31
percent of the GDP, and the deficit hardly existed.
     Growth continued, unemployment was minimal, and inflation was low.
It was a left-wing Eden, albeit one with an occasional
stock-and-bond-owning serpent in a Volvo limousine.  Most social benefits
were tied to having a job, so the Swedes kept working.  And they worked
pretty cheap.  Approximately 90 percent of Sweden's blue-collar workers
were unionized.  The unions sat down with the Swedish Employers'
Confederation and colluded in centralized wage negotiations.  The pay
rate was based on productivity and world price levels.  As Per-Olof Edin
told me, "For 15 to 20 years it's been the LO that has been saying wages
must be kept low."  This would hardly make for a rousing speech at an
AFL-CIO strike rally.
     A policy of "solidaristic" wages was pursued, meaning the same pay
for the same kind of work regardless of the employer's ability to cough
it up.  This favored the most efficient and productive (and largest)
companies, though it crapped on small businesses and start-up
entrepreneurs.  Companies were allowed to fire workers for any material
reason.  Featherbedding was forbidden.  Labor mobility was encouraged by
government emphasis on reraining and placement instead of unemployment
checks.  Free trade was maintained.  No attempt was made at centrally
planned production or marketing.  The Swedes may have pestered their
barnyard fowl, squeezed it, jiggled it and poked it in the bottom, but
they did not kill the goose that laid the golden egg.
     Then something went wrong.  The Swedish government started granting
entitlements that weren't dependent on holding a job and were often
dependent on not holding one.  At the same time, the concept of full
employment was extended to sectors of the population that didn't even
necessarily want to be fully employed, such as the handicapped and
mothers of young children.  Likewise, an attempt was made to maintain
full employment in failing industries where employment previously would
have been discouraged.  Steel mills, shipyards and textile factories were
nationalized to "preserve" jobs.  Public-sector employment grew from 20
percent to 33 percent of the work force between 1970 and 1983.  Taxes
rose to stinking heights but not high enough to cover costs.  Social
services continued to expand without regard for budgets.
     As more people worked at jobs were productivity was hard to measure,
if not actively discouraged, centralized wage negotiation broke down.
"Same pay for any kind of work."  Peter Stein, in his bluntly titled
monograph Sweden: From Capitalist Success to Welfare-State Sclerosis,
wrote, "Swedish doctors work an average of only 1,600 hours a year,
compared with 2,800 worked by U.S. doctors.  It pays doctors to stay home
and paint their own houses rather than spend their time practicing
medicine and hire painters."  A society is hardly better off with its
doctors painting houses than it is with its house painters performing
liver transplants.
     Until 1976 the Social Democrats had ruled alone or in coalition for
44 years.  They were socialists, so they figured that Sweden's success
must be the result of socialism.  The Social Democrats forgot that the
Swedish Miracle was the result of fragile and elaborate compromises and
also of, as Marita Ulvskog called it, "standing outside the war."  Nice
phrase.
     Politicians had achieved control over the Swedish economy but were
now trapped by their own power.  The free market quit following the rules
of universal suffrage.  The Social Democrats confess to it.  "A
'political market' then emerged," Ulvskog said.  "You had to give
something to the voters.  We couldn't tell the voters we were going to
cut."  The electoral process turned into a vote auction, with both
socialist and nonsocialist parties upping the ante.  "Going once...going
twice...SOLD to the Social Democrats for free Ph.D.s and 100 percent
disability benefits!  Do I hear any bids for the next Parliament?  Yes?
The gentleman from the Liberal-Moderate coalition says lower taxes and
more police."  Under such circumstances, even the best people, even the
Swedes, could not resist the temptation to vote themselves more goods and
services for less cost and bother.
     This may have been more naive than cynical.  The Swedes seem to have
no natural distrust of government.  There is in Scandinavia a long
tradition of communal decision making.  The vikings had an assembly of
all adult males that met once or twice a year and was called the Thing,
surely the best name ever for a legislative body.  Swedish peasants
always owned their own land and usually maintained friendly relations
with their king.  Class distinctions existed, but pesky nobles made their
money more by war and trade than by gouging the rustics.  The Swedes
never had feudalism to build a real Magna Carta hatred of central power.
The Swedish constitution is long and so detailed that somewhere in it is
probably a schedule for mowing the lawn, but it doesn't contain checks
and balances.  There is no Supreme Court, no federalism, no 10th
Amendment limit to government powers.  The Parliament can do anything it
wants, including changing the constitution.  Not that the Swedes are
alarmed by this.  "We think of the government as one of us," they say.
The government is part of the community, and a very strong sense of
community have the Swedes.

[Polar]

Perhaps too strong.  Westholm, of the Federation of Private
Enterprises, said, "There are no Swedish moral scruples about taxes."  He
didn't mean moral scruples about avoiding them; he meant moral scruples
about imposing them.  Otherwise a marvelously honest people, the Swedes
have a blind spot about taking certain property that isn't theirs, as
long as it gets shared by everyone.
     And come to think of it, so did the vikings.  It makes one wonder
what was going on in those longboats.  Maybe discussions of political
economy, viking style.  "Yah.  We pillaged Ireland.  Good.  But Sven had
seven rapes, and Nils only had one, so we all get to rape Sven."

     It's interesting how - level society as you will - someone always
turns out on top.  I was thinking this as I was sitting in the office of
the minister for consumer, religious, youth and sports affairs.  It
wasn't a lavish office by U.S. Cabinet secretary standards, but it was
lagom - two big joined suites on a corner, looking down the street to
Lake Malaren.  The walls were painted fashionable teal.  The furniture
was hip and blond.  All salaries in Sweden may come out after taxes
somewhat the same.  But who gets the room with the view?  Who flies off
to European Union cheese-food milk-fat-content subcommittee negotiating
sessions on the sunny isles of Greece?  And opera tickets are heavily
underwritten by the Swedish government.  What a relief to the working
stiff.  "Bundle up the kids, Helga, we're all going to see Claude
Debussy's Pelleas et Melisande!"
     I had dinner that night in another expensive restaurant, and in the
men's room there was a rack of reading material - all of it annual
reports.  I don't think anyone had ever been in there who wasn't - like
me - on an expense account.
     The Swedish welfare state is not based on redistribution - taking
from the rich and giving to the poor.  It's based on distribution,
period.  Everybody pays high taxes; even poverty benefits are taxed.  And
the taxes are returned to everybody in the form of "social goods."  "We
have tried to build a system where everybody gets something out of the
state," said Marita Ulvskog.  "Our position is that the millionaires must
get something out the state," i.e., a health system good enough for
millionaires.
     The Swedish model assumes that citizens agree on what they want and
that the government is run by someone from Lesotho, and in return for
your high taxes, the social goods you get are a herd of goats, four wives
and a crate of rifles?
*Press return for more or q to end. >
     All this taking and giving back puts enormous power in the hands of
government.  The Swedish Model also assumes that the government is good,
that the government won't decide that what Sweden really needs is to
conquer Denmark.  And since Sweden is a democracy, the voter must be
good, too, and not decide to support that government in return for free
wedges of looted Jarlsberg.  World history is not full of good
governments or of good voters, either.  One of the great things about the
U.S. Constitution is that it outlines a republic, limited in scope and
able to operate in spite of damnable officials and a chowderhead
electorate - as 220 years of American history proves.
     And what about the fairness so dear to the Swedish heart?  Is it
fair?  Should we all get the same pay and privileges?  Then why shouldn't
we all get the same love and respect, the same health and happiness, the
same cute little butt and big boobs?
     Swedish fairness takes for granted that there's something wrong with
your being rich and my being poor.  But your wealth didn't cause my
poverty - unless you're my congressman or something.  To believe that
your wealth did cause my poverty is to believe that there are only a
fixed number of good things in the world and that I can't create more of
them. But I can.  Starting with a large civil suit naming you.
     As for redistributing the world's good things, all societies do it.
But mostly they keep it in the family. A modern government is not a
*Press return for more or q to end. >
family, not even metaphorically.  Imagine a family where everyone has an
equal vote, even the kids, even the dogs.  For one thing, what would the
food be like?  Depends on the number of dogs.  It might be reindeer
tongue.  The last time I walked through Gamla Stan, I didn't wonder where
the crazy people were.  In Sweden they're all crazy.

                                * * *

The NannyMUD Times  page 9


Quest-reviews


Introduction

In the coming issues, the two leading quest solvers, Oriole and Goreon,
will go through Nanny's quests. The quests will be handled in alphabetical
order.

Note: This feature will not give hints on how to solve the quests.


A quest set in the beautiful mansion of Cherryhill in Kent(118 points, by Chino)
                        &
A Kentish quest about a botanist and his flora (71 points, by Chino)

The reason why we handle these quests together is that they're very alike,
and they have the same creator. The area is well-made and the room descriptions
*Press return for more or q to end. >
are involved. It contains many puzzles, and as the quester solves them one by
one he or she gets motivated to finish the quest. Both quests are very old and
haven't been recoded in the last two years at least. Therefore, they lack random
elements. The puzzles are sometimes quite obscure, but at least they are fairly
consistent.  The area is, sadly enough, not in a fantasy setting, which detracts
a little from the feeling.


Akilles (60 points, by Akilles)

This quest involves the most stupid puzzle in the world of text adventures.
Go through the quest (which isn't hard at all) and think of what you do and
you'll surely see what we mean. The quest is very old and the changes made have
been minor cosmetic ones. /Goreon knows because he solved the quest on the 'old
Nanny' that was up a few days this spring.
<Editors note, this quest has recently been changed. New review on this quest
will follow next month.>

A tree is lying across the path (8 points, by Padrone)

This quest is a real classic and the most solved ever in Nanny.
It is simple and would never be approved today, but still, it wouldn't be the
same if Nanny didn't have this quest on the menu. Truly a party quest, many
newbies get their first qp from this one. We dare say that, for a newbie, it is
harder to find the area than to solve the quest.


Ant Treasure (91 points, by Banshee)

This is one of Banshee's stupid quests. If you think that killing should give xp
and not qp, this quest is not for you. Simple to know how to solve, harder to
solve; this is not our type of quest. The fact that knights' falcons are banned
from the area does not make it more enjoyable.


Break into Angmar's treasury (89 points, by Angmar)

Another ancient quest. This one is a rather straightforward, logical quest that
involves thinking and bashing. All the classical ingredients are there. The area
is classic fantasy style, but you could wish for a little more elaborate
descriptions. We think it is a good quest anyway, and recommend players solve
it without help.
Be warned not to enter the area on April 1st, however...


Bring a knife and a corpse for the ceremony. (64 points, by Brom)

This is a newly changed quest.  This is apparent due to the qp it now gives.
It used to give about 20 qp. Set in the castle of Brom, this is a fairly
straightforward quest. Exploring Brom's castle is crucial to solving all his
quests, especially this one.


Build Neill a new guitar (23 points, by Neill)

Neill's rather small but well-written area is totally devoted to his quest.
Being logical and with many random elements, it is a worthy challenge for any
adventurer, but it's still not so hard that it would be a turnoff. This quest
is recommended as training for the new quest solver, and it is a good spring to
the larger quests of Nanny.


Catch a fish and cook it (37 points, by Slater)

One problem with this quest is finding the area. Another, is finding your way
past the buggy resets that have plagued this quest for a long time. Hopefully,
most of these features have been fixed, for the quest itself is rather
enjoyable. Most of the things to do in this quest are fairly easy, but the odd
tricky part is thrown in. Recommended for all players who need 37 qp to next
level.






The NannyMUD Times page 10   --


Reviews of the 3rd Kind - A column written by Carg the Movie-Going Druid


Klaatu Verata Nikto
No matter where you go, there you are...


Welcome to Carg's newest column, where I shall review
works of film's stranger side.  Remember, just because something's
strange or hard to understand doesn't mean it is boring.  In fact,
some movies are only good because of their incoherence B).  Without
further ado, let me introduce you to my system of grading the movies
that I shall be reviewing.


Title - (self explanatory)

Desc - (longest part of review, where I set down the basic plot and
        characters and any other relevant material)

Rating - (from -10 to 10, where a 0 would be "Courage Under Fire", a
          10 would be "Citizen Kane", and a -10 would be "The Gun in
          Betty Lou's Handbag")

(The Good Stuff)

Violence - (Gore and bullets basicaly)

Sex - (Nudity and overall sexual allure)

Profanity - (The number of occurances and the originality in this art
             form)

Concluding Remarks - (Anything that I may have left out B), or just
                      some intellectual tangents I draw on the movie)



"The City of Lost Children"



        What do you get when you cross a talking brain, a flea that
turns people into mindless killing machines, and a child-thieving mid-
get with a 10 cent perm?  "La Cite des Enfants Perdus" bien sur!

        Jean-Pierre Jeunet and Marc Caro give us another gem of their
unique macabre movie-making style.  Their first film, the 1991 explor-
ation of canabalism in depression-ridden France, "Delicatessen" set
a standard of bizarre camera angles and dark scenery that one sees in
"The City".  This is not something easily described; basicaly, you
have to see it for yourself.

        The basic plot?  Well the central figures are a simple-minded
circus strongman played by Ron Pelman and a small, sexy thief played
by Judith Vittet (well, sexy for a 9 yr old B)  This unlikely duo has
to overcome rabbid dogs, a calous siamese-twin gang boss, and an army
of one-eyed cyborgs to try to rescue a young boy from the clutches of
an evil, dream-stealing old man.

        All of these bizarre situations, however, are connected with
a humorous zest and a zany multi-facidity, making "The City" a true
fairy tale for the 90's. B)


Rating - +8 (This movie is simply a MUST SEE! That's an order!)

Violence - +1 (Not many bullets or much gore in this movie, mainly its
               just the dark nature of this film that gets to you)

Sex - +5 (Very few modern films try to be sexy without putting gratiutous
          amounts of nudity...if there is such a thing B)...the point
          being that this movie has a distinct sexiness that has nothing
          to do with nudity, but, rather, with a sort of dark mystery)

Profanity - 0 (Being a French movie, it is hard to judge this category.
               However, it was subtitled and I do know a little French;
               and I didn't hear/see much. Language was very creatively
               used  in this movie, but, at least for my standards, there
               was not a special amount of swearing)


Overall, this movie is amazing. It is a refreshingly different movie,
with so much metaphoric content that it would pointless to discuss here.
*Press return for more or q to end. >
It is a dark and strange movie, true.  But, even though it's entertain-
ing without much thought, I challenge everyone that sees this movie to
search for the meaning in-between the lines; I think you'll appreciate
it even more. B)


/Carg

[Polar]

The NannyMUD Times  page 11


                                PlayerVillage
                                -------------

                                                Build your dream house!
                          _________
        Fun to build!    /         \
                        |       ___ |      Good value for your money.
                        | |--|  | | |
 Impress your friends!  | |--|  | | |               A place to call home!
                        |       | | |


Think Nannymud lacks something? Build it yourself!

Feel you have no place to call home? Buy and build your own house!
                                                       
Tired of logging in at the church? Get a home and login there!

Got too much money on your hands? A home is always a good investment!

Want privacy for you and your friends? The Playervillage is the answer!


Where can you find us?  The PlayerVillage is located in Qqqq's area.
                        It can be found north and east from the clearing.
                        And the PlayerVillage can be found south from Pskov.


Bring lots of money and good ideas!




The NannyMUD Times page 12   --


What does Wizards talk about on wizline?

Well, you all wonder what wizards really talk about, when you ask them they
say they talk about programming and coding techniques, but now we will show
you that it is actually some other techniques they discuss.

Note 1: All participating parts have been asked if i where allowed to publish
this, everyone accepted except for Roland. Therefore i have removed Rolands
comments, but you will still see where he made a comment, to make the text
easier to understand.

Note 2: Some wizards told me they thought this text was not suited for a
paper like this. They told me 'think about all the young people playing'.
I say, if you young enough to kill rabbits, your young enough to handle the
secrets of love. Btw, FUCK those wizards. *cackle*

Note 3: If you do have problem with other sexualities than your own you

should probably stop reading this text now. If you are a narrowminded
republican militant christian, dont read this you will just get upset.
The rest of us who are openminded we can continue to read.



Here it goes:

Wiz Fabulena: my bf and i logged on while affected and that was a product of
    the experience.
Wiz Mym raises an eyebrow.
Wiz Mym: bf?
Wiz Mym peers at Fabulena.
Wiz Fabulena: boyfriend.
Wiz Fabulena winks suggestively at Mym.
Wiz Mym: you're a chicklet?
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Fabulena: nope.
Wiz Fabulena: dude.
Wiz Mym shivers with fear.
Wiz Hans: go figure, Mym
Wiz Fabulena shakes Mym like a bowlful of jello.
Wiz Mym: you a uh... how to put this delicately... a "pillow-biter"?
Wiz Fabulena snickers.
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Hans giggles merrily.
Wiz Mym: rump-ranger?
Wiz Fabulena: there are other positions, mymmy-boy.
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Mym: did someone lose a tooth? cause I think there might be a fairy in
    here...
Wiz Someone rolls on the floor laughing.
Wiz Fabulena: how original! funny!
Wiz Fabulena yawns.
Wiz Mym: are you saying uh... that your feet don't quite touch the ground?
Wiz Fabulena: you done spouting your hateful little euphemisms?
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Mym: just kidding... jeez
Wiz Hans pats Roland on the head.
Wiz Fabulena: "but that joke isn't funny anymore."
Wiz Hans: yes, like everyone else except for Bob Dole. Wink
Wiz Mym: naw- I'm voting for Dole... I like the way he holds his
    spiffy-looking pencil.
Wiz Fabulena agrees with Mym.
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Hans adores Roland.
Wiz Mym: he could make a fortune doing dixon ticonderoga commericials
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Fabulena: he supports grevian formula, that's for sure.
Wiz Fabulena: one of their loyal supporters.
Wiz Fabulena: er...grecian.
Wiz Fabulena: i wonder if they still produce that stuff.
Wiz Mym: you know fab- I always wondered why the only things you ever coded
    were a pair of platform shoes and a charlies angel's lunch-box...
Wiz Fabulena snickers.
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Fabulena: i've forgotten how to code--even the easy stuff.
Wiz Mym: so Fab.. are you the pitcher or the catcher?
Wiz Fabulena: both.
Wiz Mym goes 'ah'.
Wiz Fabulena: i'm enough for a full team.
Wiz Hans: I guess that's the beauty of it. Wink
Wiz Fabulena snickers.
Wiz Mym: in football I think they refer to it as playing "ironman"
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Fabulena laughs.
Wiz Hans: yeah, sure not tight end.... Wink
Wiz Hans hides behind Mym.
Wiz Mym: hey- get away from behind me
Wiz Mym pokes Hans in the ribs.
Wiz Fabulena: what was that about mym's behind?
Wiz Hans pinches Mym.
Wiz Fabulena winks homosexually at Hans.
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Fabulena cringes in terror.
Wiz Mym: glad I'm wearing my steel-reinforced concrete bugs-bunny underoos
Wiz Hans giggles merrily.
Wiz Fabulena gets out his blowtorch and jackhammer.
Wiz Mym screams loudly.
Wiz Mym: take Hans- I hear he's sweet
Wiz Hans: Once again, a good quote from Denis Leary: "I will never show my
    butt in a movie. And if I do, it will be white, and it will be hairy."
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Mym grins evilly.
Wiz Fabulena dons his Village Person-construction-guy outfit.
Wiz Mym laughs hard.
Wiz Fabulena: we'll see how impermeable those britches are.
Wiz Fabulena snickers.
Wiz Fabulena: envy me--i'm going to LA this wednesday.
Wiz Fabulena struts proudly.
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Hans agrees with Roland.
Wiz Hans: yeah, Leclerk told me
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Mym: you know... things are really only supposed to come out of that
    oriface Fab- don't you ever hurt yourself?
Wiz Fabulena: your cities lie in dust, my friend.
Wiz Fabulena: every hear of a prostate gland/
Wiz Mym: uh.. yeah
Wiz Hans: umm... is this the right line for this?
Wiz Hans: maybe you should use shout... ?
Wiz Fabulena: well, it operates similar to a clit, if i might offer a
    parallel you can understand.
Wiz Mym: don't be sexist hans
Wiz Hans bonks Mym on the head.
Wiz Hans: I wouldn't talk about vaginal sex here either, I think
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Fabulena: heh
Wiz Hans giggles merrily.
Wiz Mym: alright... I understand the stimulation part... but the body was not
    exactly designed to take trauma in that particular area...
Wiz Fabulena: who says?
Wiz Someone farts noisily and proudly.
Wiz Fabulena: are you gonna gimme this "sex for only reproductive purposes"
    bullshit?
Wiz Hans sings "every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great"
Wiz Mym: well- the walls of the colon are very thin in comparison to  that
    walls of a vagina... one has been designed to take a pounding and the
    other... well
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Schlek rolls her eyes to the ceiling.
Wiz Fabulena: well, i'd argue that the anus can take a pounding.
Wiz Fabulena: and, similar to the vaginal entrance, can heal/regenerate cells
    quickly.
Wiz Mym: well_ I must admit I have no personal experience in the matter- so I
    yield to your greater knowledge...
Wiz Fabulena: word up.
Wiz Fabulena snickers.
Wiz Mym: but consider this...
Wiz Fabulena listens to Mym.
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Fabulena: just correcting some misconceptions.
Wiz Mym: things tend to daily come out of that little opening- whether you
    want them to or not- ain't it kind of hard to heal when you are
    constantly... uh.. excercising and stretching that particular body part
    through normal excretion?
Wiz Fabulena: well, vaginal sex takes place near the uretha in a woman, so
    couldn't you argue the same?
Wiz Schlek: sometimes its not everyday tho...consider those that are
    constipated
Wiz Someone pats Schlek on the head.
Wiz Fabulena: and don't forget that you urinate out of the same tube sperm is
    ejaculted from.
Wiz Mym: hmm- I guess if you are sore constipation is a good thing...
Wiz Fabulena: this binary thinking of "in/out" just doesn't hold water. Wink
Wiz Schlek cringes in terror.
Wiz Hans giggles merrily.
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Hans: she doesn't seem to like your "apparatus", Roland. Wink
Wiz Fabulena: besides which, injury doesn't occur every time you engage in
    anal sex.
Wiz Hans peers at Schlek.
Wiz Mym: well- doesn't the action involve.. erm... consider this- if you stir
    a pot of soup with a spoon- it'd kind of hard not to get soup on the
    spoon...
Wiz Schlek: nod his apparatus the "dreaded appratus"
Wiz Someone bops Hans on the head.
Wiz Fabulena: some women are "torn" during het sex, so you could say the same
    about that.
Wiz Mym: torn?
Wiz Mym shivers with fear.
Wiz Schlek: that appratus ppl use to become unconstipated....
Wiz Fabulena: yes, torn/
Wiz Mym: not as if you can staple your ass back togehter...
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Fabulena: huh? don't get the staple comment.
Wiz Mym: I meant if you hurt yourself of tear something- you can be in a bit
    of trouble there boss
Wiz Hans: who's logging btw?
Wiz Fabulena: of course--and the same goes for women.
Wiz Schlek: and you think it doesnt cause problems if you become torn in the
    other?
Wiz Fabulena: whenever you're dealing with an orifice, there's always a risk
    of damage.
Wiz Mym: no...- but... argh- I can see I am not making my point
Wiz Fabulena: he's not being a neo-nazi--there's an honest attempt to
    understand, i think.
Wiz Mym: if a woman hurts herself in that manner whe can just take a numner
    of days off without difficulty... but if a man is hurt in that manner-
    bodily functions will not allow time for healing that the body needs
Wiz Fabulena: not true at all.
Wiz Fabulena: bodily functions are affected when injury is sustained from
    missionary style intercourse.
Wiz Fabulena: besides, it's not like you get so torn up that you can't
    control your bowels, etc.
Wiz Mym: look- when i was living at school I lived in the dorms and food was
    scarce...
Wiz Mym: so one night I am staving and eat and entire bag of corn...
Wiz Mym: something like two pounds of the shit
Wiz Someone rolls on the floor laughing.
Wiz Schlek ponders this situtation
Wiz Fabulena: is someone logging this? <g>
Wiz Schlek: i could be Smile
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Mym: I was in such pain after that particular "excretion" that I hurt for
    months afterwards and swore off of eating corn...
Wiz Fabulena: but you're comparing apples and oranges.
Wiz Fabulena: the damage isn't that severe
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Fabulena: at first, of course it is.
Wiz Fabulena: just like vaginal intercourse.
Wiz Schlek: so dont have anul sex and eat a lot of corn afterwards....is this
    the moral?
Wiz Mym: now- that was just from eating veggies... you can't tell me- that if
    you take a schlong in da pooper and that there is some damage done- that
    it miraculously heals...
Wiz Fabulena: my previous comments speak to that question.
Wiz Fabulena: keep in mind that you're dealing with vascular tissue that,
    shall we say, conforms.
Wiz Fabulena: and would you think that people would engage in anal sex if
    they were severly injured during the process?
Wiz Fabulena: that line of thought seems rather illogical to me.
Wiz Mym: personally I can't understand why all women are not lesbians... we
    men are just smell- disgusting hairy troglodytes anyway... how can you
    find a man attractive Fab? no offense here...
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Mym laughs hard at Roland.
Wiz Fabulena: i don't date the hisrsute troglodytes.
Wiz Fabulena: not all men are funky beings.
Wiz Someone struts proudly.
Wiz Mym: well- once again- I have not really taken the time to inviestigate..
Wiz Fabulena: not meaning to sound condescending, but i'm glad that you can
    admit that.
Wiz Fabulena: a lot of others wouldn't.
Wiz Mym: sure- i can admit I am ignorant...
Wiz Fabulena: heh
Wiz Mym: actually- I used to be a homophobe.. cause of a bad experience I
    had- but this ain't the therpy line- so lets just say I got over it and
    it was a big step for me personally to acclimate myself to being
    comfortable around people with minds more open than my own..
Wiz Hans: Re: logging... yes.
Wiz Fabulena: good.
Wiz Fabulena: it's important to realize that a certain population is not
    represented by one person.
Wiz Mym: yeah well...
Wiz Mym: erm... just on a side note- who wears the lingerie- if any?
Wiz Someone rolls on the floor laughing.
Wiz Fabulena: lingerie!?!?!
Wiz Fabulena snickers.
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Someone rolls on the floor laughing.
Wiz Fabulena: i prefer them naked.
Wiz Fabulena: who waltzes anymore?
Wiz Mym: are you adapt at "sword-fighting"
Wiz Fabulena cringes in terror.
Wiz Fabulena: that would smart.
Wiz Mym: is it really an activity or just an insult?
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Mym goes 'ah'.
Wiz Fabulena: what is it?
Wiz Fabulena: what is sword fighting?
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Mym: you know
Wiz Fabulena: god, that would hurt.
Wiz Mym: when two guys whack each others love-loafs into one another- like
    they are having a sword fight- hence the term
Wiz Fabulena cringes in terror.
Wiz Roland:
Wiz Someone rolls on the floor laughing.
Wiz Mym shrugs.
Wiz Fabulena: wouldn't it be love-loaves?
Wiz Fabulena:  Wink


Now you all got a reason to become wizards.



The NannyMUD Times  page 13




Ok, i have to admit. I was stupid when i thought a competition like this one
should be able to work on NannyMUD. I got no answers at all, so the price
amount of 14550 coins will be donated to Bailiff.

Well, i never promised the correct answers but here they are:

Questions and answers:

 1. At what level does a Druid gain the power 'spores'?

 A: At level 14.

 2. What is the name of the god the Monks worship?

 A: The gods name is Lars.

 3. In which wizards' areas is Profezzorn's Golf quest placed?

 A: Unable to answer, questinfo.

 4. At what rank does a Khorne gain a Daemonname?

 A: At Rank 18.

 5. What is the name of the mother of all Vampires?

 A: She is called Lilith.

 6. What is needed for a Knight to gain the title 'Champion of Arthur'?
    (Name at least 2 things needed.)

 A: A knight needs to be True Master in all skills, have valour: Heroic
    and be level 19.

 7. Who where the creators and guildheads of the Drunks guild?
    (Name all 3)

 A: The creators of the drunks guild where: Bert, Klingie and Tsc.

 8. What is the first day in the NannyMUD week called?

 A: Its called Larsday.

 9. Which was the first quest in NannyMUD?

 A: First quest was: Give orcslayer to leo.

10. Which player is the oldest in NannyMUD?
    (Playtime in Nannymud! Not RL life age.)
    (Only mortals counted, not wizards. Wizards second characters is counted
     though.)

 A: Oldest mortal in nannymud is: Eolair (87 days)

Deciding question:
How many spells 'Brainburst' do you think it took the Simyarin Megalomania
to kill pet? (Hint: It took 3hours)

A: It took him 242 casted spells to kill pet.
*Press return for more or q to end. >

/Le'Clerk


The NannyMUD Times page 14   --



The verse of the day:

  ______________________________________________________________________
 (                                                                      )
 |     The verse of today, Padsday 10, The Month of Law                 |$
 |                                                                      |$
 |     There was a young lady named Hall,                               |$
 |     Wore a newspaper dress to a ball.                                |$
 |        The dress caught on fire,                                     |$
 |        And burned her entire,                                        |$
 |     Front page, sporting section, and all.                           |$
 |                                                                      |$
 (______________________________________________________________________)$
   $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$



The NannyMUD Times page 15   --


Madame D's question column.


Q: What happened to the Cute'n'fuzzy teddybears when Aksha's area was closed?
   Mine got ripped to shreads by that evil cat of Nellie and I really miss
   it!! Sad

A: It is rumoured that if you travel deep within the forests in Profezzorn's
   area you will find what you seek.


Q: What's libel?

A: It's a label when Leclerk is responsible for the spelling.


Q: When will the evil admins censorship the Times (best newspaper in Nanny
   in my opinion) ?
[Chat] Cherry: I cant find the cable for the scanner.

   - Kurka

A: Let me ask you a question. If someone did censor NannyMUD Times, would you
   ever notice? On the other hand most responsible people would censor a
   paper that has Leclerk as publisher.

Q: Dear Madame, I sometimes play on strange hours. Where is there nearest
   24-hour-open 7-eleven? I'm tired of wimpy's burgers.

A: 7-eleven stores are only open between seven and eleven. Sorry.

Q: Whatever happened that night between Marielle the knightess, Dwinbar the
   seriously disturbed admin and Tsquizzix, the seriously demoted player?

A: According to witnesses Dwinbar and Tsquizzix had sex with each other,
   saying "It was so cold!". Marielle tried to stay away, and luckily were
   True Master in parry.


Q: Oh greatest and most wise of women, we are a happily married couple since
   some years, but there is one thing missing from our lives. We desperately
   want a child to fill our days with happiness and joy. But however we have

   tried, this has not come true. Madame D, please tell us: What should we do
   in order to get a baby?

A: I hate to be the one that takes your illusions away from you, but the
   truth is that mudsex will not give you any children, however hard you try.
   I recommend that you try the RL version, even if you might not find it half
   as exciting.


Please keep sending in your questions to me, when you have a copy of the
NannyMUD Times just type 'ask_madame_d <question>'.

Hugs Madame D.

[Polar]

The NannyMUD Times page 16   --


Aunt O's gossip column.


Demotions:


The creative Dewyn found a way to create items to give his second char.
This is a really nice and easy way to solve quests, no need to run around
to find the damn items. Unfortunately a guard in Dewyns workroom noticed
all this and reported it to the archwizards. Dewyn lost his immortality for
one month.


Another nice way to help a poor second in a battle is to give them more HPs.
The wizard Kira thought about this and found a way to solve the problem with
reducing HPs at every battle. Just as the HPs dropped from her second player
in a battle she used her wizardry powers to give more HPs to her poor second
player. Well, we know other ways you can solve this without the need of a

wizard. You just put a <Cheat-info removed by publisher> and then you dont
need to worry about your HPs anymore. Kira lost her immortality for one
month.


The wizard Smiler went around to see how much damage certain monsters could
take. He then told all his friends about this. The monsters got very upset
with beeing killed all over and sent a complaint to the archwizards. Since
the archwizards listen more to NPC's than to wizards, Smiler can now be seen
walking around smiling in village. He will do so for another month.


Roland was demoted one month for kicking wizards from the mud.
The exact thing he was demoted for 2 months ago.


Banishments:


The players Pajton, Tutu, Shadra and Rueggan mysteriously disappeared this
week. Another victim for the mysterious disease that seems to affect
multiplayers, is our guess.
Therefore, be warned, do not multiplay, and especially not with Dwinbar.


Gossip:


Knights have recently tested if you can be RT and PK knight at the same time.
An anonynomous source within the guild says:
Seego could take care of the newbies alright, but completely failed to take
care of himself.
We guess that no more RT knights will remove their angels.


Last month Madame D stated that Silencer will ban all knights.
Our most recent information tells us another thing, however.
He has made a double system, one for normal knights, and one for his friends.
This way all knights will be banned except for Silencer's 2nd chars and his
RL friends.
On the other hand they can do anything they want, so it might be fair after
all.


The distinguished Round Table knight Eddy went to see Khorne wizard Readis in
RL, and then got to meet Readis' younger sister. After this Eddy is reported
to "walk around on pink clouds daydreaming of romantic dinners and passionate
nights". It is also reported that the feelings are answered, since Susie
made a very nice crayon drawing in her kindergarten and sent it to Eddy.


We got a reported correction from last months gossips, we wrote that the
wizard Beldins sexual capacity where labeled 'exalted' instead of 'skilled'.
We wrongly wrote that this change in his label where done last month.
This was all wrong, here is the comment we got from a anonymous wizard:
"This is actually a correction, Beldin has been an exalted wizard for several
 months already."


One of our sources told us:
"A rather flappy fellow named Darren was challenged to a duel, one which he
 accepted.  He immediately went and abolished his guardian angel so he could
 fight."


We got several indications that Wrathscarab is not a guy, he is just a girl
pretending to be a guy.
Btw, we saw Wrathscarab the other day in a McDonalds joint, where he tried to
buy himself a 'Brave McWrath'. I guess there is no such thing as a Brave
McWrath to be found nowhere, not on McDonalds nor in NannyMUD. He had to
settle with a 'McChicken'.


We noticed the newborn immortal Cleopatra shouted a good question in the mud
the other day. We thought we show you the question to help her in her search.
"Cleopatra shouts: who is wellhung?"
Ofcoz, those of us who saw the pictures from the mudparty in Orebro already
know the answer to that question.


Another one of our thrustworthy sources gave us this information:
"Rumour has, that Leclerk has a very fat ass and that he's a bad kisser."
"andromeda has been seen alot in Mats' workroom..."
"<name removed by publisher> has been seen in Mats' workroom,
 right after andromeda left"
"This was said over the knightsline:
 [-Assembly-] Saxy: ACK!  I am stuck in Mats Workroom!"


Its come to our attention that some players from sweden finds it funny to
learn our fellow players from America to speak swedish. Well, that is not bad,
but i guess if they found other teachers than old 'AA' ones it would be
better. Just look at this poor guy saying things with no clue what it means:
"Xanatos says: Vi tjackpundare spolar kroken."
If you are going to teach them swedish learn them correct sentences like:
"Jag vill smeka din ficklampa."



We need to warn you, the titles you get when you 'Finger' wizards. Is not
correct. For example, if you 'Finger bive' it will tell you that he is a
powerful and helpful wizard. Now, Bive started creating a guild for more than
a year ago. But he never did finish his guild. When prompted about this six
months ago. He replied: 'ok, i will fix this when i get time'. But did he?
Well, i guess a wizard that cant succeed in finishing something as minor as
the last spell in his guild is not really worth beeing called 'helpful'.


We heard some evil rumours about the admins beeing 'square overeducated
leftovers that never succedded in leaving school'. This was based upon the
fact that all of the admin on this mud is still in school, some of an age
above 30. We dismiss this evil gossip since after all the swedish education
is hard, and its not easy to get a job nowdays, some competence is actually
needed.


We got to know a scary secret from a reliable source:
"I can exclusively reveal that Panic is plotting to overthrow the mud
 administration and introduce a law that all rooms shall be made using a
 roommaker."We thought for a second: Would we notice any diffrence? But then we got to
think, after all a roommaker can actually create.


Marriages:
----------
Hyzenthlay was married to Beldin    by Beldin   Sun Oct  6 00:26:22 1996
Roland     was married to Schlek    by Roland   Thu Oct 10 01:48:01 1996
Carihir    was married to Life      by Bixby    Sat Oct 12 03:50:32 1996
Kaylo      was married to Icemagic  by Sonarr   Thu Oct 17 04:49:03 1996
Jezebel    was married to Fubar     by Beldin   Sun Oct 20 08:01:02 1996
Elm        was married to Oak       by Avis     Tue Oct 22 04:37:16 1996
Scully     was married to Creep     by Snafu    Wed Oct 23 05:57:28 1996
*Press return for more or q to end. >
Fluid      was married to Falstif   by Roland   Thu Oct 24 22:17:30 1996
Ani        was married to Kulkow    by Kha      Sat Oct 26 02:14:42 1996
Lugh       was married to Firestone by Orpheus  Sat Oct 26 06:48:01 1996
Elyas      was married to Salome    by Orpheus  Tue Oct 29 06:35:49 1996
Banjax     was married to Satin     by Catwoman Wed Oct 30 07:25:35 1996
Minette    was married to Crypter   by Alainysi Wed Oct 30 18:34:23 1996


New items:
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We got to know that sometime during next month a new board system will appear,
it will have a similar look as the present one. Wizards have been testing
this board system for two months now and in the middle of November it will
be used in the entire mud. Rohan is the coder of the new board system.


Remember to keep us updated with all the gossip. When you have a copy of
the paper, just type 'aunt_o_gossip <gossip>' to update us.

Best Wishes, Aunt O and friends.