Spamfunet Nanny Forum

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 1    ---
 
 Welcome to the October 97 issue of the NannyMUD Times. Please check all
 baggage that does not fit in the overhead compartment or under the seat
 in front of you.
 
 Page 1) Index
  This is it. Straightforward.
 
 Page 2) Editorial
  Easily forgotten comments by Lonewolf. No gossip or pk logs here, go ahead
  and skip it if you want.
 
 Page 3) Interview
  Leowon consented to be interviewed regarding admin policy on a certain
  matter. It's educational, and recommended to all non-admin.
 
 Page 4) Pklog
  The requisite pklog. Poor Shriek.
 
 Page 5) Playerquestion
  Your comments to the question presented by the NannyMUD Times.

 Page 6) Puzzle Solutions
  The correct answers to the puzzles and roomhunt from the last issue.
 
 Page 7) Puzzles
  A new room to find and new puzzles to solve.
  You earn money here.
 
 Page 8) Stand submissions
  Mortal submissions to the newspaper stand outside Milkbar.
 
 Page 9) Pub Review
  A review of the Rose and Dragon, NannyMUD's most famous pub.
 
 Page 10) Bilar testing
  An experimental approach to Ahlgrens Bilar.
 
 Page 11) Weddings
  A list of those who've gotten hitched in September.
 
 Page 12) A Knight's Tale
  A story written by Elysia regarding some events in the knights guild.
 
 Page 13) Horoscopes
  Mari's horoscopes for the next month. Love comes your way.
  Like you didn't expect that.
 
 Page 14) Ask Elly
  Elysia's advice column. She'll answer any questions you have, and usually
  in a nice way.
 
 Page 15) Obituaries
  Pity the poor saps who died in September. Snafu was kind enough to analyze
  and interpret the data for us.
 
 

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 2    ---
 
 Another month is behind us, and another issue is released.
 
 Thanks go to Snafu, Elysia, and Mari for their submissions, and to Narya
 for her stint as Pubreviewer for this issue.
 
 Jobs are still open if any of you care to apply -- and any of the
 aforementioned players will tell you that it's a lot of fun working for the
 NannyMUD Times. No stress, no deadlines, no problems, nothing. Really. You
 can all go sign up now. Line forms on the right, no shoving.
 
 But just a bit of minor mudrelated news..
 
 The Dark Guild opened somewhere in the mountains northwest of the village.
 You've probably noticed. If you're anxiously waiting for Damned and would
 rather not wait any longer for an evil guild, give this one a shot.
 
 The Guild of Masters has also opened in Brom's area. If you play this guild
 to the top, you're either very good, or very stupid, according to some
 people involved in the guild.
 
 Some other guilds are currently in playtesting. We hope to see them by the

 next issue.
 
 And off you go to the rest of the paper.
 
 //Lonewolf
 


---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 3    ---
 
Lonewolf says: Greetings. We're here with the NannyMUD Times for the
               interview for this issue.
 
Lonewolf says: The goal is to determine just why the admin seem so devoted
               to blood magic.
 
Lonewolf says: With us, we have Leowon, high wizard, guildhead, and
               all-around nice guy.
 
Lonewolf says: Say hi, Leowon.
 
Leowon says: Now? Ok! Hi.
 
Lonewolf says: Mortals have noticed that the admin are on a certain
               blood-magic kick, especially you, Taren, and Brom. Have you
               seen this yourself?
 
Leowon says: Not really. I don't think there's any more blood around here
             than's natural. Do you?
 
Leowon licks his sharp incisors absentmindedly.

 
Lonewolf says: Well, let's start with Brom, a _seemingly_ normal arch.
 
Lonewolf says: But with a little careful inspection, we see a few giveaways.
 
Leowon says: We do?
 
Lonewolf says: Like his red torch spell - a magic blood light!
 
Leowon hmms.
 
Leowon says: I guess we do.
 
Lonewolf says: Doesn't it seem strange to have blood as the basis for
               a light, as opposed to the regular torches and lanterns?
 
Leowon says: Well... That depends.
 
Leowon says: Blood is a very potent force, a source of life (or unlife).
 
Lonewolf nods.
 

Leowon says: And it's versatile! We do see that Brom can use blood to create
             light. A latnern can also create light, surely. But blood can be
             used for so many other things as well, and a lantern can't.
 
Lonewolf says: How do you explain Brom's ear-ring, then? A constant drain
               of blood is required to feed the ear-ring.
 
Lonewolf says: It seems to the inquiring minds of the NannyMUD Times that
               Brom has a certain thirst for blood.
 
Lonewolf says: The blood of mortals, that is -- perhaps explaining the fear
               so many people have of this supposedly-friendly arch?
 
Leowon hmms.
 
Lonewolf raises an eyebrow.
 
Lonewolf says: Your silence can only incriminate you.
 
Leowon says: Well, some spare blood is always useful, I always say. And to say
             that the ear-ring lies behind Brom's reputation of fearfulness?
 

Leowon says: I rather thought it was his Cthulhu associations. Some Cthulhu is
             good for you, too much can make you get slightly unhinged.
 
Lonewolf says: Ah, Cthulhu fhtagn, Cthulhu fhtagn?
 
Leowon says: Ia! Shub-Niggurath! The black goat of the woods with a thousand
             young! Yes.
 
Lonewolf says: You're saying that Brom is slightly unhinged?
 
Lonewolf says: And that this _excuses_ his thirst for the blood of innocent
               mortals?
 
Leowon says: No, but rather that mortals have become slightly unhinged by the
             strong presence of Mythos in Brom's area. They see blood in every
             corner, nowadays.
 
Lonewolf says: Oh, so Brom has innocently provided a strong influence of the
               Mythos in his area, and the mortals are to blame for being

               affected by it?
 
Lonewolf says: I think we know who the real evil ones are here.

Leowon says: Hmm... The bunnies in his area?
 
Lonewolf shakes his head sadly.
 
Lonewolf says: A unified front against the non-admin, I see.
 
Leowon says: They always looked suspicious to me.
 
Lonewolf says: Then, how do you explain Taren, the other arch, the other
               driving force in this mud?
 
Leowon says: How I explain him?
 
Lonewolf says: His Khorne guild has a constant thirst for blood as well.
 
Leowon says: Well, his parents may be a good place to start.
 
Leowon says: They met one time long ago, you see, and...
 
Lonewolf says: Doesn't it seem suspicious that his Khorne followers
               constantly scream 'Blood for the blood god' ?

 
Leowon says: Well, considering they wallow in blood daily while doing their
             chores - killing - I don't find it very surprising.
 
Leowon says: A little blood never hurt anyone doing an honest day's work.
 
Leowon says: How many of us haven't bled? I know I have.
 
Lonewolf says: Little blood? How do you explain Khorneflake's old alignment,
               (wading in blood)? Or the action "Lonewolf splatters blood
               everywhere" ?
 
Lonewolf says: It seems that the Khornes have an affinity for more than a
               _little_ blood.
 
Leowon says: It's just that people the khornates meet tend to bleed a bit more
             than the rest of us, you know?
 
Lonewolf says: They're constanly dripping blood instead of water.
 
Lonewolf says: It seems that Taren has an obsession with blood as well.
 

Leowon says: Well, if you must put it that way... Ok they drip blood a bit
             sometimes.
 
Lonewolf says: A bit, sometimes?
 
Leowon says: Yes, a bit sometimes.
 
Lonewolf says: They wallow in blood, by your own admission.
 
Lonewolf says: This seems abnormal to the sane and clearheaded staff of the
               NannyMUD Times.
 
Leowon says: You mean you've never wallowed in blood??
 
Leowon peers at Lonewolf.
 
Lonewolf says: By the light of the full moon, I assume?
 
Leowon says: What kind of people _are_ you, really?
 
Lonewolf says: (The NannyMUD Times would like to take this moment to
               reaffirm their dedication to light, honesty, goodness,

               sweetness, kindness, charity, puppy dogs, rainbows, flowers,
               sunny days, and all those positive Judeo-Christian values
               that make life seem good.)
 
Leowon says: I don't know about khorne caring much for the moon. I'd rather
             picture you howling at it than they, in fact.
 
Lonewolf says: But the Khorne deal with blood more than usual. Brom has an
               obsession with blood that we've already discussed. Doesn't
               it seem strange to you that the two arches are so involved
               with blood?
 
Lonewolf says: Should normal mortals and wizards fear for their lives?
 
Leowon says: Not really. In principle, their lives aren't in danger from the
             arches.
 
Lonewolf says: Only indirectly, I see, from all this thirst for blood.
 
Leowon says: And by the way, one can live quite comfortably without blood.
             Well, a mortal can, at least. It's just that it feels much nicer
             if there's some blood involved, you know?

 
Lonewolf says: Some blood? Yes. A lot of blood? Unnerving.
 
Lonewolf says: Again, I state that the admin have an unhealthy obsession
               with blood.
 
Lonewolf says: You are an example of this as well.
 
Lonewolf says: What non-admin has a guild that deals with blood on the same
               level that Khorne does? Or Vampires?
 
Leowon says: And let's see. Knights. Falcons ripping poor folk's hearts out.
             Simyarin: Boiling people's brains. Monks... Well all right,
             they're pretty harmless. Druids too, that's well known. Vampires:
             Well of course they like blood! They're supposed to! Imagine how
             hard it is for the poor sods who faint when they see blood?
             Khorne: Blood is just a by-product of their daily work, it's not
             a goal in itself.
 
Lonewolf says: Bah, the Knights recognize that blood is a necessary
               byproduct of slaying the evil in the world. Simyarin are just
               wannabe bug abusers. And Vampires? Just proof that the admin

               want blood, and mortals are the ones who pay.
 
Leowon says: Wrong: Mortals are the ones that _play_. :)
 
Lonewolf says: And they shed their blood for your pleasure!
 
Leowon says: Besides it's not for my pleasure, it's for Liliths.
 
Leowon looks defensive.
 
Lonewolf says: Bah, you're just a middleman.
 
Leowon says: Hmpf.
 
Lonewolf says: You, Taren, and Brom thirst for blood. Who can deny the facts?
 
Lonewolf says: We just want a clear answer.
 
Lonewolf says: Why?
 
Leowon whispers to Lonewolf: You want blood? I got blood for you!
 
Leowon says: Eh... Well.
 
Lonewolf listens intently.
 
Leowon says: Ok. It's like this. Promise not to tell anyone, though.
 
Lonewolf says: We'll see.
 
Leowon says: See, admin always like drinking tea. T. Right. So we drank T.
 
Lonewolf says: (The NannyMUD Times would like to take this moment to
               reaffirm their dedication to journalistic integrity of the
               standard that the typical newspaper upholds.)
 
Leowon says: We even had tea-sampling evenings.
 
Leowon says: Eventually, the joys of tea faded somewhat.
 
Leowon says: So we turned to stronger things. After a short sidetrip to beer,
             we found a new joy in our lives: Whisky! Single Malt Scottish
             whisky.

Lonewolf says: Ah, this explains Brom's beer-tasting link on his webpage?
 
Leowon says: (The admin would like to take this moment to encourage any and all
             mortals to send us rare whiskys by mail.)
 
Leowon says: (Only Scottish single malt, of course.)
 
Leowon says: Anyway. We went through pretty much the same process there. We
             arrived at a whisky sampling evening...
 
Leowon says: And in time, even whisky lost its attraction to us.
 
Leowon says: So what's more potent than blood?
 
Leowon says: I mean whisky.
 
Leowon seems to be very conscious of his slip.
 
Lonewolf listens.
 
Leowon says: Well anyway. We'd tried water, tea, (coffee is out of the
             question for any serious admin), beer, whisky... We had painted
             ourselves into a corner.
 
Leowon says: This is the point in the story where it may be prudent to hint
             that Taren may, in fact, really be a vampire. A german Ventrue, in
             fact.
 
Lonewolf says: So who was the first mortal who "volunteered" to give his blood
               to you insatiable admin?
 
Leowon says: I think the seed has been growing for a long while now. Brom
             planted it, with his ear-ring and blood torch. Taren expanded upon
             it with his khorne guild. And the liberation came with my vampire
             guild, who made no excuses: Blood blood blood, it's as simple as
             that.
 
Lonewolf says: And you don't find this abhorrent?
 
Leowon says: Why should I? I'm also a vampire. It's natural. I really can't see

             why you people find it so unusual.
 
Leowon says: Can you imagine a quiet sunday evening without a sip of blood?
Lonewolf edges away from Leowon.
 
Lonewolf says: So you say the admin in general have a thirst for blood, since
               nothing else can satisfy them?
 
Leowon catches Lonewolf's scent.
 
Leowon says: I guess that pretty much sums it up. However, as I previously
             mentioned, each admin does seem to have remainders of other
             passions, by which they can be placated for some time.
 
Lonewolf says: Just long enough for the poor mortal to escape .. into the
               clutches of another admin?
 
Leowon says: In Brom's case, it is the whisky. In my case, it is the cinnamon
             candy. I think Taren has one too, but he is more secretive.
 
Lonewolf looks over his shoulder for other admin.
 
Leowon knows when Taren is going to log on.
 
Leowon says: We feel those things through our blood bonds.
 
Lonewolf says: Oh, I see. If the mortals mail you something to placate you,
               they can live another short time. But if they don't supply
               you with your desires, then they pay the price in blood.
 
Leowon says: That's absolutely right.
 
Lonewolf says: Oh.
 
Lonewolf says: Um.
 
Lonewolf says: Er.
 
Lonewolf moves a little further away.
 
Leowon says: Speaking of which, it was more than half a year since I was
             placated by you, specifically.
 
Leowon follows.
 
Leowon bares his fangs at Lonewolf.
 
Leowon looms menacingly over Lonewolf.
 
Lonewolf cringes in terror.
 
Leowon pounces Lonewolf playfully and bites him bestially on the neck.
 
Lonewolf screams loudly.
 
Leowon purrs silently.
 
Lonewolf tries to break free.
 
Leowon drinks in long delightful swallows.
 
Lonewolf's struggles grow steadily weaker.
 
Leowon mutters. Bloodless, that's what they all are.
 
Leowon lets go of the half-unconscious Lonewolf.
 
Lonewolf drops to the floor.
 
Leowon says: There. I'll let you live, so you can send me more gifts.
 
Leowon says: ...for this time.
 
Lonewolf says: (The NannyMUD Times would like to take this moment to remind
               all mortals that they exist solely for the pleasure of the
               admin, and to learn from the above example.)
 
The administration sort of agrees.

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 4    ---
 
 The requisite pklog to keep the masses happy.
 
 
Shriek grabs some spores from a leather pouch and hurls them at you!
** HP: 117/202   SP: 89/202
** Shriek is in very good shape.
> Brutal arrives.
** HP: 105/202   SP: 89/202
** Shriek is in very good shape.
Shriek slashed you in the chest.
Shriek hiccups.
** HP: 105/202   SP: 64/202
** Shriek is in very good shape.
Your falcon flies from your arm and starts pecking and clawing
at Shriek's eyes!
> > > Asmira leaves west.
> > > Shriek grabs some spores from a leather pouch and hurls them at you!
** HP: 101/202   SP: 64/202
** Shriek is in fair shape.
> You slashed Shriek in the chest.
** HP: 92/202   SP: 64/202
** Shriek is in fair shape.
Shriek slashed you.
** HP: 92/202   SP: 39/202
** Shriek is in fair shape.
Your falcon flies toward Shriek, but misses her totally!
> > > Hump-backed bridge <w e>.
Your hunting falcon.
A stick.
A leather purse.
An old caravan is standing here. Its door is ajar.
A road goes south from here.
It looks possible to climb down to the river.
> ** HP: 78/202   SP: 39/202
** Shriek is in fair shape.
Shriek slashed you in the chest.
Village green <w e n s>.
Your hunting falcon.
Brutal the Master of Flowers (GoingHome).
Mhoram Simyarin (good).
Shriek the high druid (good).
Golgol the lesser warrior of Khorne (neutral).
Tirips Minar-im-Simyar (good).
A dusty statue of Scratches.
A dead oak tree.
A lane leads south from here.
> > > Shriek grabs some spores from a leather pouch and hurls them at you!
** HP: 51/202   SP: 39/202
** Shriek is in fair shape.
> > > ** HP: 46/202   SP: 39/202
** Shriek is in fair shape.
Shriek slashed you.
** HP: 46/202   SP: 14/202
** Shriek is in fair shape.
Your falcon rips and tears at Shriek's chest.
> > > ** HP: 66/202   SP: 14/202
** Shriek is in fairly poor shape.
** HP: 66/202   SP: 34/202
** Shriek is in fairly poor shape.
The water tastes very refreshing.
> ** HP: 86/202   SP: 34/202
** Shriek is in fairly poor shape.
** HP: 86/202   SP: 54/202
** Shriek is in fairly poor shape.
The water tastes very refreshing.
> ** HP: 106/202   SP: 54/202
** Shriek is in fairly poor shape.
** HP: 106/202   SP: 74/202
** Shriek is in fairly poor shape.
The water tastes very refreshing.
> Shriek grabs some spores from a leather pouch and hurls them at you!
** HP: 92/202   SP: 74/202
** Shriek is in fairly poor shape.
> > > You slashed Shriek across the face.
Shriek missed you.
** HP: 92/202   SP: 49/202
** Shriek is in poor shape.
Your falcon sinks its claws into Shriek's shoulder and
bites chunks of meat from her neck!
> > [-Assembly-] Rindolfin: I've lost my invisible medal.
> Feline arrives.
> > > Feline leaves east.
> > > You slashed Shriek.
Shriek missed you.
** HP: 92/202   SP: 24/202
** Shriek is in very weak shape.
Your falcon tears Shriek's throat to shreds!
Shriek died.
Your falcon rips and tears at Shriek's chest.
Shriek missed you.
some mist blows north.
Golgol puts a gloves of guidance, 7054 coins and a ring of san in a backpack.
Golgol takes 7054 coins from a backpack.
Tirips laughs.
What?
> ** HP: 112/202   SP: 24/202
** HP: 112/202   SP: 44/202
The water tastes very refreshing.
> ** HP: 132/202   SP: 44/202
** HP: 132/202   SP: 64/202
The water tastes very refreshing.
> Betty arrives.
Asmira arrives.
Asmira leaves south.
You gulp down the potion and you feel ill.
** HP: 104/202   SP: 64/20
** HP: 104/202   SP: 37/20
> Your falcon can't seem to find Shriek here.
> Your falcon can't seem to find Shriek here.
> Your falcon can't seem to find Shriek here.
> Your falcon can't seem to find Shriek here.
> Shriek arrives.
You slashed Shriek.
** HP: 105/202   SP: 38/20
** Shriek is in deplorable shape.
Shriek takes a Sword of Infinity, a small shield, a backpack, a bottle and
platemail from a corpse of Shriek.
Mhoram gleefully devours the corpse.
You hmm.
> > > [-Assembly-] Rindolfin: I cant Withdraw object.
> Shriek died.
You killed Shriek.
Arandil arrives with his falcon.
Your falcon can't seem to find Shriek here.
> Your falcon can't seem to find Shriek here.
 
 
 Congratulations to the skilled knights.


---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 5    ---
 
 
Lonewolf tells you: If you could be any one admin, which would it be, and why?
 
 
[Simyarin] Forgrim tells you: you know I cant tell you that
[Simyarin] Iver tells you: hmm
[Simyarin] Iver tells you: let me thing for a sec
Agbane tells you: huh????? Admin???
Reada replies to you: i dont know... :)
[Simyarin] Narya tells you: I don't know the differences between them.
Taren tells you: me!
[-Druids-] Earendil tells you: hah! the guy that came in to inventory our
           network asked me "How do you spell library?"
Phire replies to you: no idea...
Padreic replies to you: Uhhh, I think you are asking the wrong person.....
[-Druids-] Shriek tells you: heh, who do you think I would be Brom, cause then I
           can fusk with anyone I want to =)
Shumira tells you: Huh? Do I know you?
Gabe reaches out a hand and playfully bops you on the head.
Amadan replies to you: the dead one
Tender tells you: I wanna be like you, you're so cool.
Arturos tells you: I can't really say... been gone a while.
Ajax tells you: Brom cause he has a cool area.
[Simyarin] Forgrim tells you: wrong reply but works nicly;)
Slimer tells you: Slimer the wizard of course
Snuskis tells you: Leowon, because he is GH of the coolest guild (vampires).
        Oh, and he's the nicest one too. :)
Zalagadonka tells you: Hmm?
[Simyarin] Narya tells you: So any, or none; it makes no difference to me.
Taunter tells you: I have no urge to be any kind of admin- I don't work hard
        enough.
Evil tells you: Dwinbar, because he is so snugly.
Deathwish tells you: have no idea
Jeckyll tells you: you talking about the office, or the person behind the
        office?
Nobody tells you: I just want to be nobody.
Tender replies to you: :)
Valkyrie tells you: Banshee, because then I would be in charge of the quests
         and I'd make them even harder!
Memnoch tells you: YOu meal like you:) YOu rock gilthy:) and Ofc id be you...
Daemion tells you: i dunno actually
Nunspa tells you: i have no idea i am to new :)
[Simyarin] Narya tells you: Is this one of those NannyMud Times things?
Gaia tells you: Any lvl 30 or 33. Defenitely the best position on the Mud.
Moomin tells you: why, of course, I would be _you_...
Hostile tells you: hmm dont know...
Pabby tells you: why not Lonewolf? You seems to be everyone´s friend..8)
Lysander tells you: Slater, because of his titles.  (He's ex-admin.  Does that
         count?)
Agbane tells you: Whaddya mean????
[Simyarin] Speedy tells you: I just lost 2 characters last night, and Brom
           wouldnt even help me, so I wouldnt be an Admin to save my life, lost
           300K in gold because of his lack of careing...
Guthwulf tells you: Dwinbar. A very nice fellow
[Simyarin] Vulcan tells you: x
Stalker replies to you: hmm, tough q! i dont want to be a admin, i think
Pain tells you: Huh?
Zarathos tells you: dwinbar ofc.. why? cuz he got a such sexy body!... he
         really turns me on and I use to fantasy about him
Jeckyll tells you: I'd be Beldin, for reasons as yet unexplainable.
Taunter tells you: plus, Then I might have to move back to Sweden. I was just
        starting to get used to American pizza again
Tomsawyer tells you: whoever has made the most quest esteem
[Simyarin] Vulcan tells you: multi-tell?
Gaia tells you: Lars could work as well.
Letharion replies to you: ahem.. I dunno, Taren, he can code, and he can do it
          good too...
Stalker tells you: why?
Shumira tells you: what was that about? :)
Memnoch tells you: cause your the best bug hunter .../used:) ON the whole mud:)
Ender tells you: what do youu exactly mean?
Realitybyts tells you: hehe, very dangerous question ;)
Lys tells you: Banshee, ofc :)  To fix the quests I hate in a more logical way.
    (Also cause I admire Banshee. She works hard.)
Realitybyts tells you: I like quests, prolly Banshee
Agbane tells you: What?? It is its own password??? What is?
Memnoch tells you: why you ask that:?
Shanta tells you: Dumb question deserves dumb answers. BB of course. Why? Well,
       isn't that obvious.
Ender tells you: do read me? was that question misstargeted?
Gweedo tells you: I'd be Cohen
Shumira tells you: You're drinking aren't you... heehee ;)
[Simyarin] Iver tells you: dwinbar, becouse he is probably the only admin you
           can get any kind of help from
Ender tells you: dont know current hierarchy but: Cathbad, Charmangle,
      Moonchild, Gatelord
[Simyarin] Iver tells you: + he is very gosig
Elysia tells you: Mats.  Because he's got ultimate power, and can dest you if
       you really annoy him, and not have to explain his actions
Lonewolfjr tells you: can you help me? i died and can't find the wc 60 sword
           you gave me.
 

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 6    ---
 
 "Portia, listen to this in the 'Dear Ariadne' column: 'Dear Ariadne, is
  it against the law, or the teaching of the Church, for a man to marry his
  widow's sister?' Is that possible?"
 "Land sakes, Pierrepont, you should know the answer to that one. If you
  want a puzzle to solve, try placing a common mathematical symbol between
  the numbers two and three so that you have a number that is larger than
  two but less than three."
 Prize: 500 coins. Requires answer to the Dear Ariadne question and solution
        to second puzzle.
                         
 
   This was attempted by several. Most were able to correctly answer the
   first part, in that if you're dead (and hence have a widow), you can't
   really marry anyone.
   The second part was a bit trickier.
   2/3 or 3/2 are not between 2 and 3, as they are .666 and 1.50 in decimal
   format. 2 sqrt(3) is approximately 3.464. The answer was to put a decimal
   point between them, hence the answer 2.3.
 
   Rain won the prize for this, and Cathbad earned an honorable mention.
 
 
  _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
 |x|x|x|_|_|_|_|_|
 |x|x|x|_|_|_|_|_|
 |x|x|x|_|_|_|_|_|
 |_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|
 |_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|
 |_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|
 |_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|
 |_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|
 
 The above is a chessboard. Put a queen on one of the corner squares
 marked above with an 'x', and see if you can move it through all nine
 squares in the upper left-hand corner of the board in just four moves.
 During any one move the queen can traverse as many squares as you want it
 to but may move in one direction only.
 Prize: 1000 coins.
 
   The solution was to move three squares to the right, then diagonally 
   down and to the left, back up to the corner, then diagonally down and
   to the right, thus covering the nine specified squares.
 
   Rrr won the prize for this, and Sexcrime earned an honorable mention.
 
 
 
 
 One day, while out bike-riding, Mr. Neederwaller chanced to meet a very
 old friend.
 "It's been years since I last saw you," he said.
 "I know," replied his friend, "since we last met in Burma I've married --
  to someone you never knew that I worked with in Rangoon. This is our
  little girl."
 "And a very pretty one at that," replied Mr. Neederwaller. "What might
  your name be?"
 "Thank you, sir. My name is the same as my mother's."
 "Well, you certainly look like an Eleanor. That was always one of my
  favorite names," answered Mr. Neederwaller.
 
 How did Mr. Neederwaller know that the young girl's name was Eleanor?
 Prize: 1000 coins.
 
   The answer is that his old friend is named Eleanor. She married a man
   Mr. Neederwaller had never met when he was in Burma.
 
   Maugetar won the prize, and Sugarspit, Jay, Zaltec, and Rrr earned
   honorable mentions.
 
 
 
 Grandpa Townsend used to tell this story. It seems that at one of his
 birthday parties there were ten family members present besides numerous
 other gueses. There were two grandfathers present, two grandmothers,
 three fathers, three mothers, three daughters, three sons, two
 mothers-in-law, two fathers-in-law, one son-in-law, one daughter-in-law,
 two brothers, and two sisters.
 Can you figure out what family members were present at grandpa's party to
 account for so many family ties?
 Prize: 2500 coins.
 
   
   The people present were two brothers and two sisters, their mother and
   father, and both their mother's and father's parents -- the children's
   two grandfathers and two grandmothers. Ten family members in all.
 
   Sexcrime won the prize, and Rrr earned an honorable mention.
 
 
 
 Back in the 18th century, some folks considered a deck of cards an evil
 waste of time. A deck of cards has many similarities to a calendar. In
 fact, there are at least seven ways in which a deck of cards bears a
 striking resemblance to a calendar. I'll bet that you can't think of more
 than five of them.
 Prize: 2500 coins.
 
   (1) There are 52 playing cards and 52 weeks in a year.
   (2) There are 13 cards in each suit and 13 weeks in each season.
   (3) There are 4 suits and 4 seasons.
   (4) There are 12 face cards and 12 months in the year.
   (5) The red cards stand for day and the black cards, night.
   (6) If you total up the value of all the cards, counting jacks as 11,
       queens as 12, and kings as 13, the sum will be 364. Add 1 to this
       for the joker and you have the number of days in a year.
   (7) The number of letters in the names of the cards (ace, two, three,
       four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, jack, queen, king)
       equals 52, the number of weeks in a year.
 
    No one successfully answered this.
 
 
 The Dish sisters, Ima and Sucha, were all the rage when they came to
 Hollywood back in the 1920s. The studio refused to reveal their ages, but
 a playful press agent teased the reporters with this puzzle.
 "Added together, their ages come to 44 years. Right now, Ima is twice as
  old as Sucha when Ima was half as old as Sucha will be when Sucha is three
  times as old as Ima was when Ima was three times as old as Sucha. From
  that you should be able to tell me how old the women are."
 Prize: 5000 coins.
 
 
   The answer is that Ima is 27.5 and Sucha is 16.5.
   When Sucha was 5.5, Ima was 16.5. When Sucha is three times that age,
   she will be 49.5 years old. Half of this is 24.75, and when Ima was that
   age, Sucha was 13.75. Thus, Ima's age is twice this, or 27.5.
 
   Sexcrime won the prize, and Rrr and Bexar earned honorable mentions.
   Bexar's proof would be posted here, but cut and paste was not friendly
   for him.
 
 
 The next room-hunt is to give the directions to the following room that
 consist of the least number of steps. Same limitations as before.
 (No teleportation, seven-league boots, other items or spells that enhance
 movement.)
 
 This is the bear-fighting arena's spectator stadium. There are a
 few dusty chairs. From here you can see and hear anything that
 goes on in the arena. There is currently no fight in progress.
   There is one obvious exit: southeast.
 
 Prize: 5000 coins.
 
  Oriole won the prize with the solution of:
 
   8e, ring bell, 2e, 2n, nw, for a total of 14 moves.
 
  Sexcrime came in second with a solution of:
   
   4e, 3n, 2d, w, 2d, 3s, w, enter pentacle, s, 2w, n, 3w, 2n, nw, for
   a total of 27 moves.
 
  Sax came in third with a solution of:
 
   32e, 2n, nw, for a total of 35 moves.


> read page 7
You read page 7 in your newspaper.

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 7    ---
 
 The following puzzles are the puzzles for October 1997. Please enter all
 submissions by October 30th to ensure that you will be mentioned or
 rewarded.
 
 
 Herman Rumplemeir, our local butcher, has grown in stature and girth
 since coming to work here some 20 years ago. Some interesting facts
 concerning Herman are:
 
   At age 20 his waist size was 92 cm and his weight was 77 kilos.
   At age 30 his waist size was 96 cm and his weight was 82 kilos.
   At age 35 his waist size was 104 cm and his weight was 93 kilos.
   At age 40 his waist size is 114 cm. What does he weigh?
 
 Prize: 1000 coins.
 
 
   A------B
   |      |
   |      |
   |      |
   D------C
 
 Four bugs were positioned on top of a table in a square pattern. Each bug
 was exactly ten inches away from the bug that it was facing. (The bugs are
 facing so that if they were to start moving, they would move clockwise.)
 If each bug started crawling simultaneously, and at a constant speed,
 toward the bug that it faced (A to B, B to C, C to D, and D to A), what
 distance had each bug traveled when they all met?
 
 Prize: 1000 coins.
 
 
 Many years ago, an elderly king, his son and daughter, weighing 195 pounds,
 105 pounds, and 90 pounds, respectively, were kept prisoners at the top of
 a high tower in Grimsley Castle. The only communication with the ground
 below was a cord passing over a pulley with a basket at each end. When one
 basket rested on the ground the other was opposite the window. Naturally,
 if one basket were more heavily laden than the other, the heavier would
 descend; but if the excess on either side were more than fifteen pounds,
 the descent would be so rapid that none of the prisoners could control it.
 The only thing available to help them in the tower was a cannonball,
 weighing 75 pounds. Still, they managed to escape. How did they do it?
 
 Prize: 2000 coins.
 
 
 Hiding in a pub somewhere is that ne'er-do-well, Nicotine Ned. It seems that
 Ned has fallen on bad times and cannot even afford to buy a decent pack of
 cigarettes. He is forced to roll his own with the help of that famous
 invention, the Rapide Cigarette Maker. For tobacco, he saves the butts of
 previous smokes. He can make one cigarette from three butts. Tonight he has
 saved ten butts, from which he expects to make five cigarettes. It sounds
 impossible, but Ned has a plan. Can you smoke out his modus operandi?
 
 Prize: 5000 coins.
 
                 
 The roomhunt has the same conditions as before - no movement enhancing
 spells or items (e.g. teleport or seven-league-boots). The shortest path
 to the room described below wins the prize.
 
 
 You are on the top the mountain, among the clouds which rush quickly past.
 You have a fantastic view of the valley.
   There is one obvious exit: down.
 A tall tower.
 
  Prize: 5000 coins.
 
 
 Mail all solutions to Lonewolf by October 30th.
 

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 8    ---
           
 
 The following are the mortal submissions for Announcements, Personal ads,
 et cetera. Examine the stand outside the milkbar for more information.
 
 *************************************************************************
           
           Attention!
 
 LOOKING FOR WHAT YOU'RE NOT GETTING AT HOME?
 
 Your wife don't understand you, but we do at:
 
          ***********************************
               SPANKINGS N' MORE
          ***********************************
 
 Prices are negotiable.  Escorts of the finest taste
 and quality.  We cook and clean as well.  Contact at:
 
               Madame Mari
               69 Positions Row
               Pleasure, NM  42693-6969
 
 --- The above written by: Mari ---------------------------------------------


---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 9    ---
 
 
This month we will review the Rose and Dragon, probably the most
popular and most-trafficked pub in all of NannyMUD. This is no
doubt due to its location--from the church, go south, east, east,
north, and east again--which makes it convenient to all mudders.
 
The Rose and Dragon provides reasonably cheap heals and serves as a
center of business and relaxation--players out on expeditions fre-
quently drop in while healing, and indeed it's one of the best places
to hang out if you want to see a wide range of people, since nearly
everyone stops by once per session. Also, the taps never run dry,
like they do in many other pubs, so you needn't worry about wasted
trips.
 
The menu is as follows:
 
     Water                       : 10 coins
     First class beer            : 12 coins
     Special of the house        : 50 coins
     Coffee                      : 50 coins
     Firebreather                : 150 coins
 
     Pan-galactic gargleblaster  : 1000 coins
 
The most popular item on the menu is no doubt the firebreather, since
it provides an immediate burst of hit and spell points (about 25 each,
in this reviewer's experience). Further, the firebreather has a nice
kick and leaves you toasted for quite a while, which means you con-
tinue to reap healing benefits long after you leave the pub. This
makes it the drink of choice for mid-to-high-level players who need
to heal quickly so as to go back and finish their kill.
 
However, lower-level players can't drink the firebreather, and so
the next most popular drink is probably the special, which most all
levels can enjoy. It's considerably cheaper than the firebreather,
and yet still provides a decent kick--10 hit points and 10 spell
points--and, I found, has a smoother finish. While you won't be
drunk for as long after you drink a special, nonetheless the
relatively cheap price (note that you can sell the bottles
back for ten gold coins at the shop w, s, e, n from the pub, for
those of you on a tight budget, making this an even better deal!),
the moderate healing value, and the gentler kick made this my
favorite item on the menu.
 
Next comes beer, that old standby. Even the lowest-level character
can drink these, and nearly every mudder has fond memories of
drinking beer after beer, trying to get healthy enough again to
tackle those rabbits. These are very cheap, only 12 coins, and
after you sell the bottle back at the shop, that comes to a pal-
try two coins! Alas, the beer has no immediate healing power,
but after a few of these, you'll be pleasantly buzzed and will
start to heal faster than you would cold sober. Besides, it's
pleasant, and what says "end of the day" like a beer?
 
The Rose and Dragon has also added a couple of new items. While
Coke has been removed from the menu (why? do the admins care
that much about our teeth?), soda water and coffee have been
added. I unfortunately cannot recommend the soda water to anyone;
it's refreshing, but does you no real good (unless you like to
fill your bladder). The only good part about it is that it's
functionally free--ten coins, which you get back if you sell
the bottle.
 
The coffee is more interesting to most mudders. It's black and
strong, and while this is no gourmet blend, it does its job,
which is to sober you up. One of the most frustrating things a
mudder can do is to toss back a few firebreathers and then dis-
cover that he or she is still not ready to face the balrog
again--but is far too drunk to down even a beer. In these
instances, you can now buy a coffee for fifty coins. About
six of these will fully counteract the effects of a fire-
breather; four will fully sober you up after a special; and
one will allow you to drink one more beer in most cases.
It's a bit pricey at 50 gold coins, especially considering
that it has no healing value of its own, and the cup only
gets you one coin back (don't drop them--the Rose and Dragon
uses cheap china).
 
The last item on the list, the pan-galactic gargleblaster--well,
all I can say is that if I spend 1000 coins on liquor, I expect
something a little more exciting than this! Don't waste your
money. It doesn't live up to its literary reputation (i.e., I
did NOT feel like my brains had been bashed in with a gold
brick wrapped with a slice of lemon), it hardly provides any
more healing than a firebreather (35 hit and spell points each),
and while you do get very drunk, it is simply not worth the
money. I suspect the bailiff has gotten his sticky little fingers
into the pub, too, and that this is just another source of revenue
for the IRS. (Maybe all that money you'll drop will make it
evident to members of the appropriate sex that you're loaded with
cash; I hope you're not that desperate.)
 
Unfortunately, that's the extent of the menu--not even a tray
of pretzels! This reviewer really wanted a little honest food
to offset the damage he was doing to his liver.
 
Sorry to say, too, the place is just not really very interesting
to look at. The service, while fast, is completely impersonal
(I don't think I saw the proprietor once). Further, the decor
is sparse and there are almost no touches of color, the exceptions
being the dartboard, the almanac, the clock, the cookie jar,
and the Go player.
 
Darts are a traditional part of bar life, of course. Unfortunately,
these darts cost five gold coins a pop and don't really do anything
for you (I've heard rumors that dart-throwing sobers you up more
quickly, but I didn't notice it helped my hangover one bit).
By the way, what happened to the kindly old man who used to sit
in the bar? He was a great fan of darts, and if you proved your
mettle to him by getting a few bullseyes, he'd give you a member-
ship in MeTa's dart club. Where'd he go? Is he in the hospital
with an advanced case of cirrhosis of the liver? If anyone knows,
drop me a line.
 
The Go player, the only regular remaining to the Rose and Dragon,
is a little creepy. This man NEVER leaves the bar, and he's
incapable of talking about anything but his game, even if you
buy him a drink to loosen him up (I think he's a teetotaler, since
he didn't seem to drink the drinks I gave him). He's nice enough
by his own lights, though: low-levels in particular might want
to think about helping him out with his game, since there is
some small benefit in it for you.
 
The almanac and the clock--well, necessary, I suppose, to any
place of business, but they're not very useful, since we don't
actually get a full calendar or timepiece, and so I have no
idea when we are, so to speak. (I was surprised, and a little
alarmed, to learn that this was the month of demons. Why didn't
I learn this in school? Maybe the bailiff is siphoning off
funds from education?)

I actually enjoyed the cookie jar a lot. The jar is full of magi-
cal fortune cookies which, if you eat them, have various effects
on you (dancin' feet, a burst of energy). One thing to note is
that these fortune cookies do real things to you: you can lose
or gain both SP and HP, as well as lose or gain the odd gold coin.
(You can even gain a little experience!) Overall, though a lot
of people seem scared of the jar, I thought it was a good thing--
though low-levels should take care: a cookie can drain you
of 10 HP, which is a lot if you start out with 22! The jar
empties out pretty fast; the jar usually holds 35-50 cookies.
Nonetheless, you might take a look next time you're in to see if
the invisible proprietor has refilled the jar, since those of you
with good stocks of HP might find you benefit overall from a few
cookies.
 
A few ground rules hold here: there's no fighting in the Rose and
Dragon, nor any casting of spells. You also can't take out drinks.
The bartender also won't refuse you drinks if you're over your
limit, so you may find yourself clutching a firebreather you
neither want nor can drink and that you can't take with you. In
this case, drop it or give it to someone else in the bar--if you
drop it and go, it's public property, and so you'll have fed
the local karma a little. (Low-levels might find that they
occasionally get free drinks this way.) Further, most higher-level
players simply drop their empties rather than sell them themselves,
which means that the pub can be a steady source of cash for
cash-strapped newbies: ten bottles brings 100 coins, enough
to keep you in beer for a long time.
 
 
Another pub will be reviewed for next month's issue.
 
//Pubreviewer
 

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 10   --
 
   Bilar Failure Testing
 
In an effort to clarify questions about the purported durability
and unusual physical characteristics of Bilar, we subjected the
Ahlgrens snack cars to the following experiments:
 
EXPOSURE:
 
A Bilar was left on a window ledge for four days, during which
time an inch and a half of rain fell.  Many flies were observed crawling
across the Bilar's surface, but contrary to hypothesis, birds -- even
pigeons -- avoided this potential source of sustenance.
 
Despite the rain and prolonged exposure to the sun, the Bilar
retained its original color and form. When removed, the Bilar was
found to be substantially dehydrated. Upon further investigation, it
was observed to have taken on the consistency of industrial foam
insulation.
 
RADIATION:
A Bilar was placed in a conventional microwave oven, which was set
for precisely four minutes -- the approximate cooking time of bacon.
After 3 seconds, the Bilar inflated to the size of a golf ball, and
quickly deflated to take on the form of chewed bubble gum. After 20
seconds, the oven began to emit the Bilar's rich, characteristic aroma.
After 1 minute, this aroma began to resemble the acrid smell of burning
rubber. The experiment was aborted after 2 minutes, 10 seconds, when
thick, foul smoke began billowing from the top of the oven. A second
Bilar was subjected to the same experiment. When cooled, this now
epoxylike substance bonded the Bilar to its plate, defying gravity;
it was removed only upon application of a butter knife.
 
EXTREME FORCE:
 
A Bilar was dropped from a ninth-floor window, a fall of
approximately 120 feet.  It landed right side up, then bounced onto its
back.  The expected "splatter" effect was not observed.  Indeed, the
only discernible damage to the Bilar was a narrow fissure on its
underside.  Otherwise, the Bilar remained structurally intact.
 
EXTREME COLD:

A Bilar was placed in a conventional freezer for 24 hours. Upon
removal, the Bilar was not found to be frozen solid, but its physical
properties had noticeably "slowed": the release of flavor during
consumption was radically delayed. It was noticed that the Bilar had
generously absorbed freezer odors.
 
EXTREME HEAT:
 
A Bilar was exposed to a gas flame for 2 minutes. While the Bilar
originally smoked and blackened, it soon caught fire, burning with a
distinct green flame, and producing the same "burning rubber" aroma
noticed during the irradiation experiment.
 
IMMERSION:
 
A Bilar was dropped into a large beaker filled with tap water.
The Bilar floated momentarily, began to list and sink, and viscous
colored tendrils ran off its lower half, possibly consisting of a
water-soluble artificial coloring.  After 2 hours, the Bilar had
bloated substantially.  Its coloring was now very pale -- in
contrast to the water that surrounded it.  The Bilar bobbed when
touched, and had a gelatinous texture. After 72 hours, the Bilar
was found to have bloated to roughly 200 percent of its original
size and the water had begun to turn opague.
 
Unfortunately, efforts to remove the Bilar for further analysis
were abandoned when, under light pressure, the Bilar disintegrated
into an amorphous cloud of debris. A distinctly sour odor was noted.
 
 
SUMMARY OF RESULTS
 
The Bilar's survival of a 120-foot drop, along with some of the
unusual phenomena associated with the artificial coloring, should
give pause to those observers who would unequivocally categorize
the Bilar as "food."  Further clinical inquiry is required
before any definite conclusions can be drawn.
 
 
>
> read page 11
You read page 11 in your newspaper.

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 11   --
 
  The following players chose to tie the knot this past month.
 
  I mean, *clank*, you can hear the ball and chain already.
 
 Agora was married to Firestone by Agora Tue Sep  2 20:25:40 1997
 Gilthoniel was married to Narya by Readis Tue Sep  2 22:57:01 1997
 Locke was married to Gabriella by Hawkie Fri Sep  5 05:31:15 1997
 Emc was married to Hebe by Lectral Mon Sep  8 20:04:08 1997
 Philips was married to Wanessa by Aleea Tue Sep  9 17:09:10 1997
 Tai was married to Lillen by Lonewolf Thu Sep 11 23:12:45 1997
 Narsil was married to Arianna by Armegan Sun Sep 14 22:13:28 1997
 Aleeaii was married to Lectraljr by Lectral Sun Sep 14 23:48:40 1997
 Bakata was married to Casannova by Brutal Fri Sep 19 16:45:48 1997
 Kaz was married to Shumira by April Sat Sep 20 04:27:05 1997
 Elm was married to Coffee by Charisma Mon Sep 22 00:17:49 1997
 Jesod was married to Mars by Lys Wed Sep 24 00:14:26 1997
 Saxy was married to Ulrik by Ulrik Wed Sep 24 00:33:19 1997
 Durnik was married to Chupo by Beldin Wed Sep 24 04:43:07 1997
 Dethor was married to Axhind by Nothel Fri Sep 26 23:14:23 1997
 Data was married to Zunzita by Khadgar Sat Sep 27 11:05:57 1997
 Prinsess was married to Akryl by Asmira Sun Sep 28 10:57:56 1997
 Kittya was married to Tomcat by Lysander Tue Sep 30 07:58:55 1997
 Orcid was married to Brutal by Brutal Tue Sep 30 18:38:26 1997
 
  Congratulations or condolences, whichever you prefer.

>
> read page 12
You read page 12 in your newspaper.

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 12   --
 
 
   "I'd like to know a little about Oriole," I said to Arthur quietly.
   He began digging through a pile of scrolls.  "I rather enjoy doing this
 day after day," he confided.  "It makes me feel like I'm needed around
 here."  Carelessly tossing a parchment across the room, his face lit up
 brightly, and he rose from the stack of scrolls with one wrinkled sheet
 clutched in his hand.
   "You're well needed around here," I said to Arthur, placing one hand on
 his wiry shoulder.  Impulsively, I hugged him.  "We'd all be lost without
 you, and what you've done for Camelot..."  I closed my eyes briefly.  "The
 legends of your time live brightly in my heart as well as others..."
   I felt a warmness spread through me as Arthur's eyes misted over.  He
 glanced at the small, symbolic mithril grail that hung from a loop on my
 belt, then patted my hand fatherly.  "Child," said he. "It makes my entire
 life worth all of the pain and loss...just to see the unity among you all. 
 I believe that we have a fine tradition and it warms me to see you, and
 other Knights like you, follow it to the letter."
   He gave me the crumpled scroll with a wry grin on his face.  "Pardon the
 coffee stain," he chuckled.
   I nodded to him, and just as quickly as he'd begun reminiscing, he was
 off in a distant corner of the office rummaging through papers and mumbling
 to himself.  I cast another fond smile in his direction, and began reading
 the scroll.  I frowned as I noticed an odd fact.
   "Arthur," I began, "Oriole is...legendary?"
   He lifted his head, about to reply...
   ...When through the door, in a mad swirl of blue-speckled cloak and long
 white beard, came Merlin, a silvery-blue orb following behind him as though
 held by some invisible hand.
   With him, he brought a gust of wind that blew my cloak wide behind me. 
 "Arthur," he boomed.  "That devil is at it again!"
   I placed one hand to the sword at my side, and my heart beat wildly with
 anticipation.  "Has he breached the defenses yet?"
   Just then, a resounding crash rumbled through the halls of Camelot, along
 with a burst of warm air.  Merlin paled.  "He's here!"
   The orb turned a fiery blood-red, and throughout the castle rose a keening
 wail that I'd come to recognize very well.  I could hear "Hurrah!" and the
 sound of boots stomping through the outer halls.  I hurriedly threw the
 scroll back to Arthur.  "Keep him safe, Merlin!" I cried, running from the
 chambers.

I crashed into another Knight in my haste, and together we fell against
 the large plaque in the center of the hall.  "Apologies, Guile!"
   "Elysia," he moaned.  "I've been caught without much funds..."
   I smiled, and snatched a small purse I had bound to my belt with a silken
 cord.  "Take this!  And fight well, brother!"  I sprinted past him and up
 several flights of stairs, finding myself in a circular room with walls of
 gleaming white.  There were many cages spread over long ivory counters. 
   Standing in the center of the confusion was Gwyneth, the falcon trainer. 
 He was wildly running about, opening cages and handing them to hurried
 Knights.  "Ho there!" I shouted to Jenayle.  "Fight well, Sister!"  She
 grinned cheekily at me, and gave her falcon a peck on the beak.  "Don't I
 always?"  And with that, she was off.       
   Gwyneth rushed over to a familiar cage, and unlatched the door. With
 almost frightening speed, a large mottled falcon took flight and dived
 toward me...pulling up at the last moment, and landing on the arm that I'd
 offered as a perch.  "Fight well," Gwyneth smiled at me, and rushed away
 once again.  I gave my falcon the traditional kiss on the beak, and together
 we left the tower room, me taking five steps at a time, my falcon swift
 behind me in a flurry of golden feathers.
   I skidded to a stop at the bottom of the staircase, and spied a rather
 haggard-looking zombie perusing the map of Camelot.  He was muttering to
 himself, lost in thought.  I clanked up behind him and tapped him on the
 shoulder.  "Find what you're looking for?" I asked, quickly pulling my
 sword from its scabbard.  With a crook of my finger, my falcon was high
 above us, circling in for a dive.  With amazing dexterity, the zombie
 turned around, and slammed one rock-hard fist into the side of my helm.
   I was thrown back for an instant, metal ringing in my ears, but just as
 quickly recovered and made a quick stab with my sword at his side.  A
 thick, sluggish liquid oozed from the wound, and the zombie smiled with
 cracked and greyish teeth.  I twirled around, my blade slicing easily
 through his mid-section, just as my falcon dived, wings spread wide.  With
 one ferocious lunge, my falcon rose with a shriveled heart dangling from
 its bloody beak.  I smiled.  "Good girl," I murmured quickly.  ...Off to
 the next one.
   I broke into a run, dashing toward the gates of Camelot, when the smell
 of blood hit me in a rush of air and sweaty bodies.  I'd never gotten used
 to that smell, and it made me queasy for a moment.  I got over it.  All
 around me were my fellow Knights and their falcons, and I strode into the
 fray with all the confidence of the Knights of old within me.  The many
 colors of Camelot flew brightly in the noon sun, and there rose a cry which
 made my heart full, and my sword more deadly...
   "For Guild and Glory!"
   It resounded through the grounds of Camelot, causing more than a little
 trepidation in the hearts of the infidels.  A few of them turned tail and
 ran, but I and other Knights chased them down, slaying them to a man...
   ...Suddenly, before me the air began to shimmer with all the intensity of
 an uncontrolled fire.  I fell to my knees and shielded my eyes...glancing
 up I saw something that struck a tremor throughout me. "Mordred," I hissed.
 I knew that I could never defeat him alone...
   "The devil is here!"  I boomed, and I could see several experienced
 Knights turn from their ongoing skirmishes and run to my aid, leaving the
 dying enemies to the novice Knights.  I raised my sword defiantly and struck
 a blow which barely glanced off of his shoulder.  Mordred laughed, and
 lifted a hand.  The air around him quieted, and from his fingertips came a
 force and a fire which knocked into me, throwing me several feet, where I
 landed hard on my back.
   By this time, I was bleeding profusely from several wounds that I hadn't
 noticed.  I rolled over on my knees and stumbled to my feet...heading back
 toward Camelot.  I dazedly ran through the hall, leaning against a wall
 occasionally for support...until finally, I stood in the doorway of a stark
 opal room, with a slight medicinal smell wafting from it.
   A wan, pale man of average height and slight build was placing his hands
 upon a bleeding Knight...and in neverending amazement I watched the wounded
 Knight slowly regain his color and strenth.  Then the man turned to me.
   "Avian," I moaned, stretching one hand out to him and falling into his
 arms, weak.  Just as quickly, though, I could feel the tiredness and the
 soreness seep out of me...I closed my eyes, and when I opened them a
 moment later, I was completely healed.  I quickly dug into my purse and
 handed a small stack of gold coins to Avian.  "God bless you," he said in
 a slurred voice.  I could tell that the healing was making him weary.  I
 ran again, revived and unwounded, through the halls and back into the
 sunlight. 
   "You puny Knights cannot vanquish my power!" I heard a blast fill the air
 in a putrid wind.  *He really needs a breath-mint* I thought, as I ran
 toward him, my heart pounding in my chest.  "For Guild and Glory!" I roared. 
   Side by side with my mentor, Mistress, I parried and thrust, sliced and
 struck at the weakening magician.  His eyes gleamed in my direction as he
 let fly a foul magick inmy direction...but his attention was distracted
 long enough not to notice the falcon that dove in at his throat.
   With intense concentration in his eyes, Whistler stood at a distance,
 smiling ferally as his falcon ripped a large gash into the neck of Mordred,
 mortally wounding the fallen Knight.  The evil Nemesis fell to his knees,

 inky blood spurting from his neck and charring the grass around him.  "You
 haven't heard the last from me..." he uttered, and behind him the air began
 to shimmer once again.  Ghostly hands appeared and pulled him into an
 invisible portal, his words ringing still in the ears of every Knight.
   Whistler's falcon flew back to his arm, and he began to glow with a
 golden cast.  Briefly, for a moment, I thought that I saw several shadowy
 figures standing behind him, and he appeared taller in my eyes.  I shook
 the glamour from my mind, just as I heard Merlin's overpowering presense
 speed over the plains in a victorious voice...
   "Glory to the Knights!  We have vanquished the enemy!"
   Several Knights thrust their swords into the air, and let out a wild
 cacaphony that rumbled the plains of Camelot and shook the very walls.  A
 flowery voice flowed through my head, and a message that was very clear
 interred..."Good job, all...you make me proud."
   I bent on one knee, wiping my blade upon the grass and murmuring a silent
 prayer for the dead.  Then, my falcon on my arm, I turned and strode back
 to Camelot, avoiding the rapidly decomposing bodies and their equipment
 strewn across the ground.  I stepped into the coolness of the hall, as
 several of my brethren swept past me, boisterously belting out an ode to
 Camelot and it's fair maidens.  At one particularly roguish stanza, I
 flushed profusely.  "My brothers," I called.  "You make me blush!"  I
 receieved an assortment of sheepish grins, and together the loud group made
 their way to the pub.
   I slowly made my way back up the staircase, until I stood outside the
 chambers of the Round Table Knights.  Above the doorway was a golden grail,
 which began glowing brightly when I neared it.  The smaller grail at my side
 glowed brightly as well, almost as though they were communing.  I cast a
 smile at April, who was standing by the message board, reading the various
 announcements and comments.  "A good fight, sister," I said.
   "A fantastic battle," she agreed.  "No deaths...except to the enemy." 
 We shared a grin.  I skimmed over the board, nothing in particular catching
 my eye.  Fondly I glanced about me at the dark oaken interior of the
 office.  Scattered about were several large plush chairs, which beckoned
 to me...
   ...I noticed just how tired I was.  "I think I'm going to retire for the
 eve," I said wearily to April.  "Fare you well, sister Knight."  She turned
 from the board and gave me a dazzling smile.  "Rest well, Elysia."
   After meeting again with Gwyneth to return my faithful falcon to her
 cage, I found myself outside of the weapons shareroom.  I began stripping
 out of my equipment, relieved as the heavy weights were lifted from me.  I
 felt a gentle pair of hands begin to help me remove my armour, and turned. 
   "Oh, hello, Yellowfish," I beamed.  "Thank you..."  He handed the
 cumbersome platemail to me, and the embarrassing scent of sweat rose from
 my clothing.  I winced.  He grinned at me, and none too delicately lifted
 one arm and sniffed.  "I can't say much," he assured me.  "It's been a
 long, hard day."
   I nodded tiredly, walking over to a row of lockers.  One of the doors
 burst open, and out flew a tiny daemon, complete with hooves and horns. I
 gingerly handed my belongings to him, one at a time.  Just as he was
 relieving me of my backpack...
   ...I groaned.  "Oh, crap," I muttered, remembering the small pile of gold
 I'd left inside.  The daemon gave me an impish grin.  "Anything in here for
 me today, Elly?" he hooted, and cheered as his grubby fingers brushed the
 stack of gold.  "This should be worth a little tipple, wouldn't you think?"
 And with that, he was off, his duties forgotten for the appeal of wine and
 spirits.
   I slapped one hand to my forehead, and sighed. "Doh."
   Yellowfish shook his head, and chuckled.  "Good one," he congratulated
 me.  "At least he's only got enough for a couple of beers," I murmured. 
 True to form, the daemon rushed in minutes later, reeking with the barley
 scent of Camelot's own brew.  "Thanks, Elly...I needed that!"  And he
 proceeded to stumble into a locker.  A few short hiccups sounded from the
 metal cabinet, and I could hear the beginning strains of a bawdy ballad.
   I shrugged.  "Just another day," I commented, leaving a widely grinning
 Yellowfish behind.  I heard him call after me, "Rest well, Knightess!"  I
 turned and raised a hand.  "I will, Yellow!  And you do the same!"
   I walked the familiar halls, my eyes feasting on the resplendent
 tapestries covering the walls, and the fresh flowers strewn about by merry
 Damsels...and I smiled.  This is my home, I thought.  Forever I will be
 loyal, I repeated a silent vow.  Passing the entryway to Arthur's office,
 I peeked in.
   Snowy head lowered on his desk, Arthur was napping.  A short snore rose
 from him.  I walked quietly to him, leaned over and kissed his head
 lightly.  "Rest well," I whispered.  He muttered something about the
 Damned, and then was silent again.  I left the humble Knight to his sleep,
 and made my way outside.  Occasionally, I was greeted by a shout here and
 there, tinny voices reaching me from the battlements high above the ground
 where sentinels were standing guard. 
   Once in the stable, I saddled my roan, patting her flank affectionately,
 and mounted.  We cantered outside, past the gates.  Deep within me was a
 need for flight, so I yelled "Ho, Melody!" ...and she began to gallop,
 carrying me off into the fading light.  I cast one last glance back at the
 towering walls and spires of the great castle.
   "For guild and glory!" I cried, raising a clenched fist high above my
 head.  "For guild and glory!" It echoed.  And there it was.  Another day
 within the stronghold of Camelot.  In a sweet siren's voice, full of the
 hopes of the past she beckoned, and silently I promised...
   ...I shall return.

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 13   --
 
 
                             Horoscope
 
                            by:  Mari
 
 
                    Aries (March 21-April 20)
 
 Try looking at the brighter side of things.  If you've just died and lost
 all of your gifts from Khorne, don't despair and become a druid.  Keeping a
 shiny outlook on things may bring you in contact with someone who can help
 you gain those ranks back...and just might make you a friend.  Take strength
 in what you believe in, doubting yourself and your loyalty to your guild
 could end in disaster around the 2nd of this month.  A mud.affair with a
 Scorpio will present itself...but your good time may turn sour. 
 
 Lucky days:  7, 23.  Don't get out of bed: 2, 12. 
 
                    Taurus (April 21-May 21)
 
 This month, you find yourself feeling disillusioned, and you're tempted to
 take a break from the mud.scene...but sticking around one day more could be
 the turning point.  Knights, be extra careful around the 3rd, one wrong move
 could send you straight to Mordred with only 11 hitpoints...and watch your
 closest friends carefully, they could be an enemy in disguise.  Being kind
 to novices can bring great reward this month.  A Sagittarius will take great
 pains to cross your path...giving them a little of your time could prove to
 be one of your best decisions.
 
 Lucky days:  15, 30.  Don't get out of bed:  4, 17.
 
 
                     Gemini (May 22-June 21)
 
 Feeling unappreciated?  Taking a few moments to fork a shell to an utter
 novice might bring you a little unexpected recognition. Druids, your spores
 will be more likely to fly back at your face on the 9th.  That weak-looking
 PKer might actually turn out to be boss, so watch out!  Partying with
 friends this month will not only bring riches, but a few extra hints to
 that quest you're having a hard time solving...so listen and watch
 carefully.  Your hormones will be raging around the 15th...a kiss from a
 Capricorn could really stoke your fires.

 Lucky days:  6, 27.  Don't get out of bed:  9, 13.
 
 
                    Cancer (June 22-July 23)
 
 Don't give up!  Looking at things objectively will present new courses of
 action...and maybe you'll find the missing set of parenthesis that will make
 your code work.  Hunting is especially good for Vampires on the 5th, but
 around 16th you might want to remember to 'elongate nails' before you accept
 that challenge.  You'll be extremely tempted to take advantage of a bug to
 make a quick fortune, but it will only result in demotion...so exercise some
 control.  An intimate party with an Aquarius could lead to a steamy
 situation on the 10th.
 
 Lucky days:  4, 5.  Don't get out of bed:  2, 17.
 
 
                    Leo (July 24-August 23)
 
 This is your month to shine.  Go the extra distance in attacks, DP that
 lesser warrior of Khorne.  The time for success is now.  You'll be receiving
 clarity on the 13th, allowing you to finish that quest you've been
 struggling with, or solving that puzzle that's bothered you...you'll
 learn something important by reading the books in the Monk's Library, so
 study!  Success in the bear-fighting arena will brighten your day around
 the 22nd.  Even still, be extra careful on the 8th, bad vibes might make
 you lose your concentration just when you need it.  A Pisces will be drawn
 to your sunny disposition...
 
 Lucky days:  2, 18, 21.  Don't get out of bed:  23.
 
 
                Virgo (August 24-September 23)
 
 This is your month for mischief...but don't get caught!  Teleporting
 someone in need will bring you goodluck this month...unless you're a
 wizard.  The 19th will be a very good day for major xp hunting; you
 shouldn't be surprised to find that all of your prey has reset and is
 waiting for you.  Your more passionate emotions will be running hot around
 the 14th...but you'll have to exercise caution, because there's a good
 possibility you'll regret it.  An Aries will leave you moonstruck...but be
 careful, or you might find the log posted on the Anonymous board!
 
 Lucky days:  11, 19.  Don't get out of bed:  3, 8.
 
 
                 Libra (September 24-October 23)
 
 A supposedly good friend will spill a secret at the around the 1st...but it
 will end in your favor.  Standing up for something you believe in will earn
 you the respect of your peers...as well as recognition, so be prepared to
 be thrown into the limelight.  Simyarin, your confidence will hit an
 all-time low around the 12th, so don't be surprised if your arrows fly back
 at you!  This is your month to exercise your freedom of speech, so make
 sure you comment on the lastest inane string of posts on the Adventurer's
 board.  You'll be tempted to take a Taurus by the horns, but don't make the
 first move...give them time, and they'll be chasing you!
 
 Lucky days:  4, 14.  Don't get out of bed:  1, 12.
 
 
                 Scorpio (October 24-November 22)
 
 This month, you'll bare all.  Coming clean with a close friend could make
 all the difference.  A nasty burst of lag can mean losing your level around
 the 5th, so Knights:  practice your skills instead...bash, parry, bandage! 
 A lie that you've been harboring may come to light around the 25th, but your
 friends will understand why you fibbed.  Also, a trip to Moonchild's area
 may present you with some tempting possibilities for relaxing, but taking a
 friend could definitely make things steamy on the 9th.  A Gemini will chance
 your sting...but if you give _them_ a chance, you'll make a lasting friend.
 
 Lucky days:  9, 21.  Don't get out of bed:  5, 30.
 
 
                Sagittarius (November 23-December 21)
 
 Good news...you'll find extreme clarity of thought this month.  Questing
 should come naturally to you, possibilities you've never considered may be
 the key to gaining those qp!  Members of the Dark horde should be wary
 around the 8th...that sunlight you so despise could ruin your entire day.
 You'll be searching for something, and as always it will be in the last
 place you look...but don't give up; asking for someone's help could create
 an unexpected companion.  You'll excel around the 6th in everything you
 undertake...you might even finally get Brom's approval on the new weapon
 you've been working on.  A Cancer cutie will catch your eye, but taking
 things slowly is the way to go.
 
 Lucky days:  6, 15.  Don't get out of bed: 8, 26.
 
 
                Capricorn (December 22-January 20)
 
 A bad situation will end in your favor around the 19th...so don't lose
 heart.  However, Druids, you might want to stay in your tree on the 7th. 
 Playerkillers will find special success this month, but that could quickly
 change if you become over-confident.  Reaching for a goal that previously
 seemed too far in the distance may meet with surprising ends...so don't
 give up just yet.  Khornes, your killing ratio will be especially high
 around the 12th, bringing honor to you and your guild. Also, you'll find
 yourself feeling rather unappreciated, but the smiling faces of those
 you've helped will serve to cheer you.  A Leo's roar may be something of a
 put-off, but underneath, they're dying to get to know you.

 
 Lucky days:  12, 23.  Don't get out of bed:  7, 13.
 
 
                Aquarius (January 21-February 19)
 
 Tempted to comment on that rather silly note?  Be warned, putting yourself
 in the limelight could bring you unwanted attention this month.  Responding
 to an advertisement in the NannyMUD times may give you an experience you'll
 never forget...so read!  Partying with a Knight around the 10th could prove
 to be major xp for you Monks, so take the time and make a friend.  Be extra
 careful on the 17th; you'll likely miss an important clue that will make
 that awful quest unsolvable or perhaps crashing the MUD may be in your
 future... exercise extreme caution.  You'll be irresistably drawn to a
 Virgo's smile...saying 'Hello' could herald the beginning of a beautiful
 friendship.
 
 Lucky days:  10, 29.  Don't get out of bed:  17, 20.
 
 
                Pisces (February 20-March 20)
 
 Don't be a sucker for a sob story and a cute face...this month, you have
 'doormat' tattooed across your forehead.  Someone may try to persuade you
 to help them around the 11th, and doing so could reap great reward. 
 Vampires should sheathe their claws nearing the 24th, accepting that
 challenge could mean losing an age.  You'll be tempted to undertake a
 rather large task that could prove to be more than you can handle...make
 sure you're not biting off more than you can chew!  A Libra may try to woo
 you...but don't fall so fast; they may be up to no good.
 
 Lucky days:  11, 15.  Don't get out of bed:  3, 26.
 

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 14   --
 
                            Ask Elly
 
 The premiere advice column for the love-lorn and the love-torn.  For good,
 unequaled advice from an expert on making up and breaking apart, fixing what
 needs to be fixed, and breaking apart what should be broken, Ask Elly! 
 
 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
 Dear Elly,
 
  When I first started playing here in Nanny, I was a major flirt.  I
 mudsexed my way to level 15, without ever doing a quest or killing a
 monster on my own.  But now, I've discovered that I don't want to take
 the easy way out anymore.  I've started questing on my own, and even
 finding my own monsters to kill.
  I'm now level 18, and I've gotten here through my hard work.  Only, I
 still have a reputation as being a mudbunny.  People have assumed that I've
 gotten to this level the same way I got to level 15. Whenever I enter a
 discussion about the best monsters to kill, or rocking equipment to use,
 they smirk at me as if to say 'You wouldn't know...you've never killed a
 thing by yourself in your life.'  I just want to show everyone that I've
 changed.  What would you suggest?

 
        --  Knightess in Need.
 
 *******
 Dear Knightess,
 
  Firstly, and most importantly, I say this:  Who cares what anyone else
 thinks?  You most definitely shouldn't.  There are people who've actually
 made it to wizhood by doing the same thing you've done, only they've never
 decided to work at it by themselves.  So I commend you.  Second point:  If
 you really want to change people's mind about you, put yourself in the
 spotlight.  Excel in those attacks, get yourself onto the 'Top Players in
 Nanny' list, donate the most to the shareroom.
  Also, help others.  Be an all-around exemplary Knightess.  Soon, you'll
 find that the number of people who smirk at you are outnumbered by the
 people whose respect you've won.  As for those who might continue thinking
 that you've gotten to your position through less-than-moral means...perhaps
 they aren't people whom you want for friends?
 
        --  Elysia
 
 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 Dear Elly,
 
  I've fallen in love with a Khorne.  He and I were very close friends ever
 since he was a lesser warrior of Khorne and I was a simple monastery maid. 
 We spent all of our time together, him killing and me healing.  It was a
 very companionable, very profitable, very _close_ relationship...only now,
 things have changed.
  He made Daemon Prince of Khorne just the other day.  Since then, he's been
 distant.  He's started partying with a Mistress of Flowers.  He hardly ever
 talks to me anymore when he logs on, and the occasional times we _do_ party,
 he spends the entire time killing, instead of chatting the way we used to.
  I don't know what to do.  Nothing has changed on my part--I still feel the
 same for him.  I need your advice!
 
        --  Miserable Monkess
 
 ***********
 Dear Miserable,
 
  I hate to tell you this, but it sounds to me as though he's used you. 
 You've helped him constantly from lesser warrior to Daemon Prince, without
 asking for anything in return.  Now that he's so advanced, looks like you've
 been dumped for a Mistress of Flowers; someone that can help him gain his
 ranks more quickly.
  My advice:  Ask him straight out why he's been so distant.  You're an
 intelligent girl, if his answer is less than satisfactory, show him the
 door!  Find yourself someone else to spend time with...only this time, make
 sure they're not out to use you!
 
        --  Elysia
 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
 Dear Elly,
 
  I really need your help.  I've been MUDding for close to three years now,
 and I've become a wizard with my own area and quests.  During my three
 years, I've been very close friends with a female character here.  She and
 I were newbies together...she wizzed as well, and she has a fairly large
 area open, with a couple of quests. 

  Everything was idyllic.  We got married after the first couple of months,
 and our areas contain clues for the other's quests.  We work well together. 
 I not only fell in love with her here, but I found myself falling in love
 with her irl.
  After three years, I wanted to meet her, but for some reason she kept
 telling me no.  Finally, I persuaded a friend of mine who lives in the same
 city as she does to pay her a surprise visit.  But when my friend knocked
 on her door...a man answered.  When he asked about my lady friend, the man
 began blushing and invited him in.
  My friend called me later that night with a story that killed me inside: 
 My lady friend and MUDwife is a guy irl.  I instantly divorced him/her, and
 I stopped playing for a while...but I know that I have to face him/her
 sometime.  What do I say?  How do I deal with the feelings I had for him
 when I thought that he was a woman?  I mean, I'm not in love with him, but
 we've had mudsex more than once--and it was pretty hot and heavy. 
  I don't know what to do.  He's mudmailed and emailed me several times with
 an apology...he's even told that he's not homosexual, he simply enjoyed
 playing a female character.  Please give me some good advice on how to deal
 with this.
       
        --  Duped Wizard
 
 **************
 Dear Duped,
 
  You've hit the nail on the head.  This friend of yours has not only led
 you on, but has taken advantage of you.  By pretending to be a female, and
 then marrying and becoming intimate with you, he risked the chance of you

 falling in love with him. 
  However, you've known him for 3 years.  You and he have been the best and
 the closest of friends.  That's a precious thing, something that can't be
 thrown away lightly.  As I see it, you have a few options:
 
   1.  Ignore his mudmails, never reply to him.  This way, if he's smart,
       he'll figure out that you must be very displeased and you never want
       to speak to him again.
 
   2.  Ask an admin to change your name.  This way, you can stay a wizard. 
       However, he'd probably find out who your new character is.
 
   3.  Close your area, or take out the references to his area/quests.  This
       might be a bad idea, considering that he'd probably do the same.  It
       could possibly result in having to recode your quests (either way,
       it'd be a lot of work for the both of you.)
 
  Those choices mentioned above are the easier ways to deal with this.  If
 you want to be a coward and ignore the situation, you can try one or all of
 those three. 
  What _I_ would do your case, however, is take a while to think things over.
 Send him a letter telling him that you're very upset and hurt, and that you
 want to think about whether or not you want to remain friends.  If he's a
 responsible friend, he'll give you the time you need.  Then look deep into
 your heart.  What upset you the most about this situation?  Was it that he
 tricked you?  Whatever it was, try to decide if it's serious enough to
 dismiss three years of friendship for.
  Then, if you decide that your friendship might be salvagable, meet with
 him someplace and talk.  Find out why he didn't want to tell you that he
 wasn't a she.  Get his viewpoint on things; sometimes when we tell a lie,
 it grows larger and larger until we can't find our way out of it.  Ask him
 if he intended on ever telling you, then decide if he intentionally meant
 to hurt you.
  There's still a chance that your friendship can be saved...and if it was

 as close a friendship as you say, then you might want to try to keep it from
 dissolving.  As for the mudsex, that may be something you might want to put
 behind you (or perhaps you don't, that's up to you).  But, if it's so
 upsetting, pretending that it never happened might be the smart thing to do.
  Lastly, if you still feel some of those rather tender feelings for him
 that you did when you thought he was a woman, perhaps you may want to
 consider the fact that love doesn't see color, race, handicap, or sex...and
 that you might be a closet homosexual.  If this bothers you, the next thing
 I would suggest is a shrink.
        -- Elysia
 
 .oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.
 
   If you're in need of advice, and you don't know where to turn,
   MUDmail Elysia.  The content of your letter will be printed for
   public observation. 
 
 .oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.
 

---------------------- The NannyMUD Times --------------------- page 15   --
The month of September has been deadly indeed. Death on NannyMUD
is a well-known fact. After all, if you can't die on NannyMUD...
where CAN you die? Several things lead to death.

Attacks on Knight's Guild seems to give a lot to the death toll.
This month, about five score of players showed the Knight's Guild
that their devotion to the guild was more important than their
lives. Many players attributed lag to the cause of their death.
Hmm, I thought they died by the metal of strong blades ;)

Merlin's Pet claimed 19 players this month. The only comment that
he gave us was a satisfied belch.

Suicide is an ongoing trend. This month, over 35 seperate players had
suicided their characters in the name of their guild, with the Khorne
Guild claiming the most. (As usual)

Playerkilling is taking a stronger showing in NannyMUD, but will
have a hard time catching up to the old days.

Without further rambling, here come the Obituaries:

Gilthoniel:
Level: 18                                   Died: by mistake (grin)
While Jeckyll and Gilthoniel were fighting Paladine, Gilthoniel
used a spell which Paladine broke. Gilthoniel lost a level from
this grave mistake. His last words were: Oops.

Flash
Level: 19                                   Died: knight attack
While Flash was logged in, an attack on the knights guild was started.
This was fine, except this was only Flash's second time ever in an
attack. While fleeing to Avian for healing, he was pursued by a quite
tenacious dextrous troll. As Flash lost his life, his last words were:
hmm, now I need 400 quest points to get level 19 back. Ack.

Galactus
Level: 14      14                           Died: Troll and Pet (ofc)
While questing, Galactus got a bit too eager and Pet claimed another

victim. Also, while fighting a Black Knight, he was teleported to a
mean, nasty, smelly troll, who ate him, boots and all. After fighting
Pet, his last words were: If you haven't died by Pet, then you haven't
died.

Arandil
Level: 13 13 13 13 15                       Died: knight attacks
Arandil started the month off with bad luck. He died 5 times in attacks
before the month was half over. He recently had a near death experience
but was fortunate enough to be saved. He is now a healthy level 18.
His famous words are: Knight attacks are wonderful, with the lag, you
can SEE your own death before your eyes.

Mystick
Level: 19                                   Died: Gurka-guard
Mystick met her untimely demise at the hands of Gurka-guard. She is
still kicking and not about to give up. Her words of advice: Nanny is
about the only place where it's better to die young. How true, Mystick,
how true.

Cymraeg
Level: 17                                   Died: Mordred
Cymraeg died in a knight attack while fighting Mordred. His comment on
the issue is this: He may always come back, but I came back in same
attack to fight on gloriously. Now this makes me either very very brave
or very very foolish. As an aside, we hear rumours that Mordred used to
have sand kicked in his face when he was a child, which is why he "sucks"

Mistress
Level: 19 19                                Died: knight attack and shield
Mistress died in same attack as Cymraeg. They both attributed lag to the
deaths. She also died using a piece of armour. She was overheard saying,
"Dang, I wanted to see if it would kill me, I didn't think it actually
would!"

Cybermatt
Level: 14 14                                Died: Luggage and Demon
Cybermatt learned his lesson on not to call forth upon his inner self
inside that great monolith. A demon appeared and taught him this lesson.
Meanwhile Luggage was kicking him repeatedly. One kick was reported to
have cut off his foot. His words of advice: Leaveth th' Luggage alone,
and it'll leaveth you alone. He is now a healthy level 16.

Lillen
Level: 17 17 17                             Died: Dragon, Demon, Martin
Lillen was pounding on poor old brother Martin, when brother Martin got
the upper hand on Lillen. Lillen said "hrm, I didn't think he could do
that!" Padrone's dragon had already had its way with Lillen earlier
that week. But all of this was before a High Demon had taken a high
price for Lillen's hide. This demon got paid very nicely, for this, too.
In fact, who's going to argue with a High Demon. Lillen was overheard
saying "Hey! That's mine!"

Shriek
Level: 18 18 18 17 17                       Died: Galvin (twice), Drugar
                                                  Albikozza, Marius
Yes, Shriek has died so much she gets 2 died lines. She might be considered
our reigning expert on death. Galvin pk-ed her twice this month. She was
living up to her name and shrieking. She had told Galvin she was leaving
Monks guild so she could pk him. She lost. Then, she went to church,
prayed, left and immediately got wasted another time. Drugar's kill of her
seems to have went unnoticed in the excitement. Albikozza also took revenge

upon poor Shriek. It is rumoured that Albikozza used an unfair method of
legpower on Shriek. He supposedly paid a Simyarin to put it on the poor
lady. Brother Marius wouldn't take no for an answer and he took his piece
from Shriek as well. Not Shriek's month you say? Well, she's joined another
guild, and people fear she will be rocking soon.

Ecstasy
Level: 16                                   Died: knight attack
Ecstasy was faithfully fighting during a knights guild attack when a
Nightwalker suddenly ran up to her and bit her hard. She had died as a
result of this unfair usage of teeth. Her last words were "Oops! My bad!"
Since then, she was banned from knight's guild for her cowardice. She is
currently undergoing spiritual healing under the guidance of Lars in the
Monks Guild.
>
> > read page 16
But there are less pages than that!